Archive: February 11, 2007 - February 17, 2007
This Week in Offbeat Crime 2/16/2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on a banner Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. First up, we have an unnamed 31-year-old hot air balloon thief, from England, who got caught when he tried to sell the contraption, complete with a basket, on eBay. While it's admirable he made off with such a bulky score, perhaps next time he could try fencing the merchandise in a less public venue. Next up, we have Nakia Davis, of Danbury, Connecticut, whose attempt to bail himself out after a drug bust landed him in double jeopardy. The 32-year-old called his aunt and asked her to bring his safe to the station so he could pay bond. Upon opening it, however, he found not just "cash for bail, but also drug paraphernalia and 16 grams of cocaine." Following...
By Emil Steiner | February 16, 2007; 7:51 AM ET | Comments (1)
Cop Gets Off After Masturbating on Stripper
Blind Injustice? Have You Heard the One About the Stripper and the Cop? (Marvin Joseph) In what may go down as one of the strangest verdicts in recent memory, David Alex Park, a former police officer who pulled over a stripper and proceeded to ejaculate on her, was acquitted earlier this month after a nearly all-male jury decided the sex was consensual.This tawdry O.C. tale went down in the wee hours of a December night back in 2004. Lucy (her last name was not disclosed) had left a shift at Captain Cream Cabaret early following a dispute with management related to cocaine use with a customer. Park, a married patrolman at the time, pulled her over for what he claimed was erratic driving. Prosecution later contended that he stalked her BMW until she had reached a secluded area of Laguna Beach and then turned on the siren. Either way...
By Emil Steiner | February 15, 2007; 11:59 AM ET | Comments (9)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 15! On this day 2,406 years ago, Greek philosopher Socrates was sentenced to death for "corrupting the youth." Here's Your Thursday Top Six: 6) Potty Mouthing BackUrinals don't let friends drive drunk -- at least not in New Mexico. The Land of Enchantment has ordered 500 talking urinal cakes that "deliver a recorded anti-DWI message" to patrons taking that last pit stop before heading home. I don't know about you, but if a toilet started talking to me, I'd listen. 5) Criminal ProgenyWhat's the best way for a politician to gain "street cred" in the Land Down Under? Just do what Prime Minister John Howard did, and discover you come from a family of criminals. It turns out the 67-year-old conservative is "descended from convicted thieves through both his father and mother," which, according to reports, is "the equivalent of royalty" for Aussies. Rob Moodie, aka Miss...
By Emil Steiner | February 15, 2007; 7:47 AM ET | Email a Comment
Guns, Roses & India's V-Day
Valentine's Day Massacre? Cupid Better Pack Some Extra Arrows If you thought Americans went crazy with their Valentine's Day brew-ha-ha, wait 'till you hear about the insanity that may go down in India's Madhya Pradesh. According to reports, the right wing Hindu group Bajrang Dal is so opposed to Western tradition that they are threatening to force couples caught fooling around into on-the-spot marriages. Rolling around town in their "vivah rath (marriage chariot) manned by activists," they hope to discourage the celebration of Hallmark's February festival through intimidation and shame. Couples who refuse marriage will be forced to "tie a rakhi (a thread on the wrist establishing brother-sister relation)." Does that make it incest? Their efforts will be opposed by two women's groups planning to arm themselves with batons and mace (Lord Hanuman's weapon of choice) "to take on those threatening to oppose Valentine's Day." Gun-toting police will also...
By Emil Steiner | February 14, 2007; 7:59 AM ET | Comments (30)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 14! On this day 328 years ago, Captain James Cook was killed by natives of the Sandwich Islands (Hawaii) who held him in such high esteem that they cooked and possibly ate his flesh. Here's Your Valentine's Day Top Six: 6) Bangkok-BlockCupid may find himself out of work today in Thailand. Despite its reputation as the sex tourism capital of the world, Bangkok police are cracking down on young love after a recent poll found that one-third of girls think St. Valentine's Day "is an excellent time to lose their virginity." Teenagers caught kissing in public will be given warnings and their parents will be notified. 5) A Cut Below the RestGuys, why say "I love you" this Valentine's Day with boring flowers or chocolates, when you can give that special someone a gift that's permanent and life-changing -- like a vasectomy? Marie Stopes International, a sexual...
By Emil Steiner | February 14, 2007; 7:47 AM ET | Comments (2)
School Mistress by Day, Vampire Mistress by Night
Can Teachers Practice Porn? Got a Taste for Knowledge? (iStockphoto) Normally it's students, not teachers, who get in trouble for inappropriate content on their MySpace pages, but I suppose there's a first time for everything. British newspapers are reporting that Samantha Goldstone, a drama and English teacher at St Christopher's Church of England High in Lancashire, has been banished from school because of "complaints that she operates erotic vampire websites." The 41-year-old has also written a book under the pen name Paigan Stone, which includes scenes of a "female student drugging a vampire male student before they have sex." Her MySpace page, which has since been removed, contained "provocative images and videos," and her Gothic writing involves "adult content with vampire eroticism, violence and blood lust." Although this may make her uniquely qualified to teach Marquis de Sade, the revelations have outraged parents, and a full investigation is now...
By Emil Steiner | February 13, 2007; 10:25 AM ET | Comments (60)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 13! On this day 465 years ago, Catherine Howard, the fifth wife of Henry VIII, of England, was executed for adultery. Here's Your Tuesday Top Seven: 7) Stem Cells Go BustFinally, stem cell research that everyone can agree on. Japanese scientists are now claiming they can use those controversial building blocks of life to increase the size of women's breasts. Dr. Kotaro Yoshimura, of the Tokyo University medical school, has developed a technique that takes fat off a patient's "stomach or thigh," mixes it with stem cells and then injects the "slurry" around her breasts. The results are apparently softer, more natural bosoms than silicon implants offer, with fewer risks. Is it too early to declare 2007's Person of the Year? 6) Crime of ChocolateTeun van de Keuken, a Dutch journalist, has asked a court in Amsterdam to convict him for eating chocolate. He contends that by...
By Emil Steiner | February 13, 2007; 7:55 AM ET | Email a Comment
Long Island Terrorist Mock-u-Mentary
Free Speech Flies South for the Winter No Ducks Were Harmed During the Making of This Video It was an ominous scene performed to maximize outrage. Five men in ski masks surround a helpless "hostage," named Pete, screaming threats in crude, often unintelligible Arabic. They invoke the Prophet Muhammad and demand payment in exchange for his release. No, this wasn't the latest beheading video to circulate al Jazeera, but rather a two-minute prank produced by five students at Long Island University's C.W. Post College. Their "hostage" was a rubber ducky mascot whose life, they seemed to say, could only be saved through payment of doughnuts and pastries. While their film may have been a joke, the outrage it has provoked is nonetheless real. Since its release last week, they have all been fired from their jobs as residence hall advisers, and Muslim groups have spoken out to condemn their...
By Emil Steiner | February 12, 2007; 12:39 PM ET | Comments (12)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 12! On this day 17 years ago, the "best selling video game" of all time, Super Mario Bros. 3, was released in America. Here's Your Monday Top Six: 6) Art-On-Art ViolenceA French court has reduced the fine against Pierre Pinoncelli, a "performance artist" who attacked a Dada- era urinal sculpture with a hammer. The 77-year-old claimed that his assault on Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain" wasn't vandalism, but, in fact, a nod of solidarity for the early 20th-century art movement, which encouraged spectators to play an active role in the creative process. This isn't the first time Pinoncelli has "involved himself in the creative process" though. About 14 years ago, he urinated on "Fountain" during an exhibition in southern France. 5) Dead Pets Are a Girl's Best Friend?Sue Rogers, of England, has found a way to keep her recently deceased dog, Lucky, close at hand. For just over $6,200,...
By Emil Steiner | February 12, 2007; 7:44 AM ET | Comments (1)
