Archive: April 1, 2007 - April 7, 2007
This Week in OFFbeat Crime 4.6.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. The front-runner this week is Steven S. Cole, a volunteer firefighter from Ohio, who stands accused of drunk driving and public intoxication after having been discovered "wearing a woman's blond wig and bikini in a public park" full of children. A father told police he had seen "what appeared to be a naked person on the bike path, fondling or exposing himself or herself." Cole later explained to authorities that he was "headed to a 'gay bar' in Dayton to perform as a woman for a $10,000 prize." In a close second, we have Amilcar Gomez, of Redwood City, California, who attempted to steal, of all things, a McDonald's security camera. Unfortunately the 29-year-old forgot to get rid of...
By Emil Steiner | April 6, 2007; 10:01 AM ET | Comments (1)
God vs. Satan: A Biblical Body Count
Who Killed More, God or Satan? Horns Blaze for Good and Evil (AP) 'Tis the season for religious disputes, and just like the pollen count, tensions seem particularly high this year. In rural Connecticut, for example, a simple zoning dispute blew up into a full-on battle of good vs. evil. It started when Claudette Soden, owner of Photos Onto DVD, who openly proclaims that "her business partner is Jesus," decided to celebrate the Holy Week of Easter by putting up a sign in a parking lot outside her store urging motorists to "Beep for Christ." But Phil Young, proprietor of a neighboring tattoo parlor, felt the sign promoted "religious intolerance for non-Christians." In order "to present an alternate view," he put up his own sign, which encourages drivers to honk twice for Satan. As ludicrous as this story may be, I got tipped to it in the midst of Passover,...
By Emil Steiner | April 5, 2007; 11:12 AM ET | Comments (21)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 5! On this day 77 years ago, Mohandas Gandhi broke British colonial law by marching to the Indian sea and making salt. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Principal Goes ApeTalk about messing yourself, an elementary school principal in Canada has admitted to throwing human feces at a boy in what she described as a moment of "total, total frustration." Maria Pantalone, who happens to be the sister of the Toronto deputy mayor, received "an absolute discharge" after pleading guilty to one count of assault, the details of which were kept quiet to shield the identity of the 12-year-old who was hit on the shoulder with excrement. Now that's what I call "copro-punishment!" 4) Honey Bear Not So SweetA kinkajou that escaped from the San Juan de Aragon Zoo, in Mexico City, got on a bus and then attacked a passenger. According to reports, the dog-sized honey...
By Emil Steiner | April 5, 2007; 6:50 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 4! On this day 32 years ago, Bill Gates and Paul Allen founded Microsoft. Nineteen years to the day after that, Marc Andreessen and Jim Clark founded Netscape Communications Corporation under the name "Mosaic Communications Corporation." Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Drunk Zamboni Driver AcquittedGood news for inebriated ice cleaners! New Jersey Superior Court Judge Joseph Falcone has ruled that operating a Zamboni while under the influence does not constitute a DWI since the ice rink groomers "aren't motor vehicles." The decision overturned the license revocation of operator John Peragallo, who blew a 1.2 BAC in 2005 "after a fellow employee at the Mennen Sports Arena in Morristown told police the machine was speeding and nearly crashed into the boards." It Ain't Springtime No More 4) Fuhrer Without CountryIn yet another setback for Adolf Hitler, the Baltic Sea resort of Heiligendamm has revoked an honorary citizenship...
By Emil Steiner | April 4, 2007; 7:49 AM ET | Comments (1)
Perverted Justice: Updating the Genarlow Wilson Tragedy
Georgia Legislature Snoozes and a Promising Teen Loses Map of Georgia The travesty continues. Despite a national outcry to help Genarlow Wilson, the Georgia teen sentenced to ten years in prison for engaging in consensual sex with a 15-year-old girl when he was 17, the state legislature recessed last week without addressing the issue. Even though that body has already changed the law to make his "crime" a misdemeanor with a maximum sentence of one year, and even though Wilson has already served more than double that time, the Senate failed to push through a measure allowing judges to retroactively adjust earlier sentences. And so, Wilson will continue languishing in the Burruss Correctional Training Center for as many as eight more years. For those not familiar with the case, in 2003, Wilson was a 17-year-old senior at Douglas County High with a 3.2 GPA and football skills that had caught...
By Emil Steiner | April 2, 2007; 11:00 AM ET | Comments (45)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 2! On this day 144 years ago, hundreds of angry women rioted in Richmond, Virginia to demand that the Confederate government release emergency food supplies. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Full Service TaxiSome Mexican cabbies may be giving a bit more than just door-to-door service. According to authorities, three drivers in the southern city of Tapachula have been arrested for allegedly broadcasting pornographic movies for passengers to watch during their commutes. The practice came to light after a woman traveling with her 6-year-old son had asked them to turn off the show, but was refused. Christianity Has Never Been So Sweet! (AP) 4) As Long As I Got My Chocolate JesusDespite Catholic outrage, a life-sized chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ has captured the attention of art museums, dealers and sweet tooths alike. Standing six feet tall, My Sweet Lord is "an anatomically correct" rendering of Christ,...
By Emil Steiner | April 2, 2007; 7:07 AM ET | Email a Comment
