Archive: April 8, 2007 - April 14, 2007
Al Sharpton, Don Imus & A Distracted Nation
CBS Fires Shock Jock But Who Really Loses? "Nappy-Headed" Comment Costs Him Job (AP) The show's over for Imus. America's most maligned shock-jock has been terminated by both CBS and MSNBC, after his three dirty words blew up into the biggest PR Humpty-Dumpty since Marv Albert's underwear. But even before those venerable stations gave him the ax, Mr. Imus had already been tried, tortured and humiliated in the court of public punditry. And as deplorably insensitive as his words may have been, it seems like many Americans were comparably sickened by the media circus which followed his utterance, and its "ring leader" Al Sharpton. During what will now be his final show, Imus even brought up the point that he repeatedly apologized to the Rutger's Women's basketball team while Al Sharpton is yet to do so to the Duke lacrosse players falsely accused of rape. Instead of haggling over which...
By Emil Steiner | April 14, 2007; 2:01 AM ET | Comments (154)
Laura Mallory v. Harry Potter 3
This Time It's Idiotic! The Deathly Hallows Of Ignorance (AP) Like a demented Phoenix rising from the ashes of idiocy, Laura Mallory has returned once again to battle her old foe Harry Potter (and commonsense). The suburban Atlanta mother and OFF/beat's 2006 Idiot of the Year will soon resume her quest to "protect" America's children from the dark arts by banishing all J.K. Rowling books from school libraries. On May 29th Gwinnett Superior Court will hear her appeal of the Georgia Board of Education's decision that Harry Potter is, in fact, safe for juvenile consumption. The hearing will serve as a review of that ruling from last December, which effectively determined that the books' merits (such as encouraging kids to read) far out-weighed any perceived thaumaturgy. Mallory, despite never reading the books herself, still vigorously contends that Harry Potter literature is an "evil" attempt to indoctrinate youngsters in witchcraft. During...
By Emil Steiner | April 12, 2007; 12:09 PM ET | Comments (52)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 12! On this day 374 years ago, Galileo Galilei was investigated for heresy by the Inquisition after publishing the outlandish claim that the earth revolved around the sun. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Free Pinchy!Pet causes are like ice cream: Everyone's got their favorite flavor and some are downright strange. For example, an anonymous group of youngsters, proclaiming that lobsters are "God's creatures," purchased 300 of them from New Meadows Lobster Pound in Maine. The lobster liberators paid around $3,400 and plan to re-release them back into the wild. Despite the fact they may all end up in conventional lobster traps, the group remained undeterred, stating that at least this way they'll "have a chance." No word if they are planning to execute similar purchases of cows and other farm animals. A Posthumous Pardon? (Afp) 4) Pardon the DoorsTwo aging Doors fans, Kerry Humpherys and David...
By Emil Steiner | April 12, 2007; 8:31 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thomas Wimberly: Three Strikes, Two Hot Dogs & No Sense
Thomas M. Wimberly, an elderly veteran living on social security, spent 71 days in jail because he forgot to pay for two hot dogs at a convenience store. The 75-year-old from Wichita, Kansas is the latest in a long line of farcical cases which illustrate how poorer citizens get lost in the illogical inconsistencies of our criminal justice system.
By Emil Steiner | April 11, 2007; 10:50 AM ET | Comments (13)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 11! On this day 46 years ago, the war crimes trial of Adolf Eichmann, the Nazi Transportation Administrator in charge of the trains carrying Jews to the Death Camps, started in Jerusalem. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Big Love TriangleTalk about a joke coming back to bite you, Judaie Ibn Salem, of Saudi Arabia, was attacked by his two wives "after he jokingly threatened to marry a third woman." During the ensuing fracas a bit of his nose was lost. Do You Believe... eh? (Afp) 4) Northern OverexposureDespite a decline in alien-related hype these days, our friendly neighbors up north recorded an astonishing 736 UFO sightings last year. According to Canada's "top UFO researchers" (don't ask how you get to the top), that figure indicates an "underlying real phenomenon." Whether that phenomenon is too much time on their hands, cabin fever or just a burning need...
By Emil Steiner | April 11, 2007; 7:59 AM ET | Comments (1)
Don Imus Calls 'Nappy-Headed' Suspension 'Appropriate'
MSNBC and CBS Suspend Don Imus For Two Weeks Shock Jock Blasted For Racism, Sexism (AP) In the five days since he referred to members of the Rutgers Women's Basketball team, as "nappy-headed hos," Don Imus has apologized so many times I've lost count. For some people, in particular Al Sharpton, no amount of "sorries" can make up for what he said. Sharpton along with Jesse Jackson and number of others want the aging shock jock fired for what they feel were racist comments. They took to the airways and the streets, Sharpton pummeled him on his nationally syndicated radio show and MSNBC and CBS suspended him for two weeks. Imus, seemingly humiliated this morning, called his comment "a stupid, idiotic mistake," and his punishment appropriate. Through the fog of this media war I've heard ample debate about whether Imus should or should not be fired, and little to no...
By Emil Steiner | April 10, 2007; 12:22 PM ET | Comments (248)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 10! On this day 37 years ago, Paul McCartney announced that The Beatles had broken up. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) A New Use For Cola?Indian farmers claim to have found cheap and effective alternatives to pesticides -- Coke and Pepsi! The soft drinks, which actually contain trace pesticide residue, not only boost plant immunity, thanks to their high sugar content, but also attract ants that in turn chow down on insect larva. Soda representatives are quick to point out that there is "no scientific backing" that their products can be used to kill pests. But at a 10th of the cost of traditional pesticides, it looks like soft drink manufactures may have found a whole new consumer for their "beverages," whether they want them or not. 1.21 Gigawatts and Still a Few Pennies Short 4) Flux Capacitor in FluxUniversity of Washington physicist John Cramer is...
By Emil Steiner | April 10, 2007; 6:56 AM ET | Comments (2)
Florida Preacher Fights Hip Hop Fashion
For Christ's Sake, Pull Up Your Pants! Does Style Cause Crime, or Does Crime Cause Style? From zoot suits, to greaser jackets, to bell bottoms and beyond, teens have always dressed in ways that adults have found offensive. You might even say that the more offense the fashion causes, the more likely they are to wear it. Inevitably though, those very teens will grow up, become parents and somehow believe that their kid's outspoken outerwear crosses a line they never dared approach. I suppose in some ways that's how "the whole durned human comedy perpetuates itself." But in spite of this oft-repeated folly, one preacher in Jacksonville, Florida is so steamed about baggy pants and low-hanging waistlines that she has launched a campaign to crucify the look. According to Pastor Diane Robinson, "every time she sees a young man wearing sagging pants, she is personally offended." So, to counter the...
By Emil Steiner | April 9, 2007; 11:08 AM ET | Comments (20)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 9! On this day 68 years ago, Marian Anderson sung to 70,000 people at the Lincoln Memorial, after being refused the right to sing at the Daughters of the American Revolution's Constitution Hall because she was African American. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Multi-Plex MayhemParents and children at a New York movie theater got quite a shock last week when they went to see the kiddie flick "The Last Mimzy" and were instead shown the opening scene of "The Hills Have Eyes Two." The horror movie sequel begins with a chained woman giving birth to a mutant cannibal. One confused youngster whose mother is eight months pregnant asked, "is that what mommy's going to have?" You Wouldn't Expect Profanity From NWA (AP) 4) This Is Your Capt. Speaking: $%*&#!!!Apparently passengers aren't the only disgruntled flyers these days. Northwest Airlines was forced to cancel a flight from...
By Emil Steiner | April 9, 2007; 8:09 AM ET | Comments (2)
