Archive: May 6, 2007 - May 12, 2007
This Week in Offbeat Crime 5.11.2007 DOUBLE EDITION
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) After a week off scouring police files for the truly absurd I'm proud to present a double edition of The Week in OFF/beat Crime. Before we get to your nominees in the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award, I wanted to open up with what has to be the most bizarre police story of the past two weeks, possibly the year. Although details remain sketchy it appears that a group of police who trekked to a remote, mountainous village in Papua New Guinea to arrest members of "a cult" suspected of being "involved in human sacrifices" have possibly been sacrificed to the Gods. Reinforcements were sent, however no members of the village, (including those who potentially were on the chopping block) were apparently willing to go quietly and soon a gun battle broke out. According to reports shots were "exchanged and one of the policemen...
By Emil Steiner | May 11, 2007; 6:28 AM ET | Comments (21)
Al Sharpton, Mitt Romney & Bigotry
Is Hypocrisy Protected by the First Amendment? Hypocrisy: America's purest form of irony. (AP) When Al Sharpton publicly harpooned Don Imus for his "nappy-headed hos" remark, a lot of American's wondered: "is the pot calling the kettle black?" Confirmation of that question may have come during a debate, Monday, when the Reverend said the following about Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney: "As for the one Mormon running for office, those who really believe in God will defeat him anyways, so don't worry about that; that's a temporary situation." And a contented "I told you so" echoed from sea to shining sea. Why? Because let's face it, America loves catching a hypocrite, and never has there been one better positioned than Al Sharpton. The set up was perfect, the delivery impeccable. There he stood on high moral ground chastising a comedian for stepping over the line and then, less a month...
By Emil Steiner | May 10, 2007; 10:30 AM ET | Comments (278)
Cocaine, Marketing & The Food & Drug Administration
Energy Drink Pulled Because of Addictive Sounding Name The politics of branding fear(AFP) Under pressure from the Food and Drug Administration and local politicians, Redux Beverages LLC is pulling their energy drink Cocaine, from shelves nationwide. "Why?," you ask. . . Because regulators felt kids might be getting the wrong idea. In a letter sent to Redux last month, the FDA "issued a warning... that said Redux was illegally marketing the drink as a street drug alternative and a dietary supplement," a contention the company jokingly dismissed. "Of course, we intended for Cocaine energy drink to be a legal alternative the same way that celibacy is an alternative to premarital sex," partner Clegg Ivey mused. "It's not the same thing and no one thinks it is."Yet Attorneys General across America seem to believe the drink is far from safe and they have teamed up with judges and organizations like the...
By Emil Steiner | May 9, 2007; 12:47 PM ET | Comments (19)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 9! On this date 57 years ago, L. Ron Hubbard published his couch-jumpingly inspiring "Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health". According to legend, the 180,000 word Scientology tome, was written in only three weeks. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Drinking on the JobPlenty of people claim that their job drives them to drink, but few people can get workers comp for it. That trend was bucked this week when a Brazilian court ordered brewer Ambev "to pay $49,000 to an alcoholic beer taster" who claimed his position forced him into dependency. The unnamed employee alleged that over a decade long career, he drank between 16 and 25 small glasses of beer during each eight-hour shift and also "received a bottle of beer after each shift." Though Ambev had claimed he was already an alcoholic before he started, Judge Jose Felipe Ledur found that the company...
By Emil Steiner | May 9, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (18)
Thailand to Sue YouTube for Insulting King Bhumibol
Google Searches Solutions Beyond Censorship King Bhumibol Adulyadej to YouTube: Shall we dance... in court? (Bloomberg) If America is the undisputed champion of frivolous lawsuits, Thailand may soon become the number one contender for that crown. According to reports, the south-east Asian nation is considering taking legal action against video-sharing site YouTube for airing "insulting" clips of King Bhumibol Adulyadej, including some where his head is shown near feet. You read right, feet, which despite their relative banality in much of the world are considered dirty and offensive in Thailand. (And you thought being a podiatrist was rough here!) When the tootsy-trailers began airing last month, the military-backed government began blocking access to YouTube within its borders. The country-wide censorship came just days after a Swiss citizen was sentenced to 10 years in jail for defacing an image of the king (who later pardoned him). It should be noted that...
By Emil Steiner | May 8, 2007; 10:37 AM ET | Comments (59)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 8! On this date 121 years ago, Pharmacist Dr. John Styth Pemberton invented a carbonated beverage in a brass kettle in his backyard. It would later be named "Coca-Cola". Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Diagnosis BankruptcyUsually people sue doctors when something goes wrong, but how about suing an MD for telling you you're cured? John Brandrick, of England, was diagnosed two years ago with pancreatic cancer and told he had 12 months to live... and live he did. The 62-year-old "quit his job, sold or gave away nearly all his possessions, stopped paying his mortgage and spent his savings dining out and going on holiday." Unfortunately for him (or fortunately, depending on your perspective) his fatal illness turned out to be a non-lethal inflammation of the pancreas, leaving him with nothing more than a clean bill of health and the suit he had kept for his...
By Emil Steiner | May 8, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Free Speech, Presidential Politics & The DMV
The One Place on Your Car Where You Can't Write "Impeach Bush" Does The First Amendment Cover Vanity Plates? (AP) Bumper stickers on hybrids are about as common as flags on pick-ups, but for one Prius driver in South Dakota, slapping on a politically charged sticker just wasn't enough. Heather Moriah, of Rapid City wants President Bush to be impeached, and what's more, she wants everyone tailgating her to know it. So the conservation organizer for the West River Office of the Sierra Club installed a set of vanity plates reading "MPEACHW" on her silver, 2005 Prius. Unfortunately for her someone did not agree with that position and filed a complaint with the state. A few days later, Moriah received a letter stating that the South Dakota Department of Motor Vehicles was recalling her plates. She was given 10 days to turn them over or state troopers might be sent...
By Emil Steiner | May 7, 2007; 11:00 AM ET | Comments (14)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 7! On this date 8 years ago, a jury found The Jenny Jones Show and Warner Bros. liable in the shooting death of Scott Amedure after the show purposely deceived Jonathan Schmitz to appear on a secret same-sex crush episode. Schmitz later killed Amedure and the jury awarded Amedure's family $25 million. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Wadda You Mean I Can't Sell My Wife?In one of the more curious governmental incursions upon free market capitalism, Brazil's Secretariat of Public Policies for Women has ordered an online auction to remove an ad from a man attempting to sell his wife for $50.00. The ad, which described his 35-year-old spouse as "worth her weight in gold," (read into that what you will), was struck down for supposedly violating a law prohibiting the sale of "human organs, people, blood, bones or skin." It was posted by a man...
By Emil Steiner | May 7, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
