Cocaine, Marketing & The Food & Drug Administration
Energy Drink Pulled Because of Addictive Sounding Name
Under pressure from the Food and Drug Administration and local politicians, Redux Beverages LLC is pulling their energy drink Cocaine, from shelves nationwide.
"Why?," you ask. . . Because regulators felt kids might be getting the wrong idea. In a letter sent to Redux last month, the FDA "issued a warning... that said Redux was illegally marketing the drink as a street drug alternative and a dietary supplement," a contention the company jokingly dismissed. "Of course, we intended for Cocaine energy drink to be a legal alternative the same way that celibacy is an alternative to premarital sex," partner Clegg Ivey mused. "It's not the same thing and no one thinks it is."
Yet Attorneys General across America seem to believe the drink is far from safe and they have teamed up with judges and organizations like the NAACP to combat the beverage and it's intoxicatingly dangerous name! Connecticut's AG Richard Blumenthal led the charge, arguing that Cocaine's "marketing strategy [is] seeking to glorify illegal drug use and exploit the allure. . . . Our goal is to literally flush Cocaine down the drain across the nation." And so, like a can of soda used for a game of hackey sack, the issue began swelling under volatile pressure with politicians clamoring to join the circle if only to give it that final kick. Judges and lawmakers flew into action, with Texas and Illinois "moving to ban [its] sale." Despite the fact that Cocaine contains no cocaine or illegal drugs of any kind, fear of legal action has forced the Las Vegas based beverage manufacturer to announce a recall of their notorious energy drink. "What we would like to do is continue to fight to keep the name," Ivey said, but Redux Beverages can't "distribute our product when regulators in the states and the FDA are saying that if you do this, you could go to jail."
Though the company has announced plans to re-release the drink under a different name, loyal Cocaine sippers are mad as hell. In a flurry of protest, (perhaps fueled by Cocaine) they have whipped up a Myspace page which as already attracted close to 9,000 friends posting angry and profanity-laced messages directed at various politicians and organizations. But is their outrage justified? Unequivocally yes! Not only is it justified, but all Americans should be frightened that a scientific regulatory agency is being bent by political scare tactics.
First, let's suppose, as the FDA letter alleges, that Redux is in fact "illegally marketing the drink as a street drug alternative," what would be so bad about that? If every drug addict in America drank energy drinks instead of getting high, the country would be exponentially better off. Of course, this is a ridiculous supposition, but then so too is using it as justification for banning Cocaine. Second, since when is it the job of the FDA to protect us against marketing campaigns? Provided the food is safe to consume and labeled correctly, they have no right to tell companies how to sell their goods. If they did, Ben & Jerry's could get in trouble for selling flavors like "Chubby Hubby" (promoting obesity), "Dave Matthew's Magic Brownies" (promoting drug use) and "From Russia With Buzz" (promoting alcoholism). Heck, the makers of Rockstar energy drink might be next for promoting a lifestyle largely perceived to involve copious amounts of drugs and casual sex? Or how about Mountain Dew, for encouraging extremely dangerous sports? The list goes on and on...
Rather than wasting their time and our tax dollars lynching businesses for coming up with edgy brands, perhaps the Food and Drug Administration should focus their resources instead on keeping our food safe and our drugs pure. After all, no one has ever caught e-coli or picked up a crack habit because of a soft drink's name.
By Emil Steiner | May 9, 2007; 12:47 PM ET | Category: OFF/beat Politics
Posted by: | May 9, 2007 12:41 PM
Isn't Mountain Dew another name for moonshine? It seems, by that precedent, all they need to do is switch to a slang name for cocaine and everything will be fine. It's just absurd enough to work.
Posted by: Zym | May 9, 2007 1:03 PM
cocaine aint never hurt nobody
Posted by: | May 9, 2007 2:11 PM
Welcome to the nanny state people. Shutting down a company under the auspicous of protection by politicians hungry for a few cheap headlines.
Posted by: Jesse | May 9, 2007 3:26 PM
One of my favorite cigar brands is ACID, bet they are next to go. What is this world coming to?
Posted by: Joe | May 9, 2007 5:39 PM
In the first place, why should cocaine be illegal?
Damn liberals. (j/k)
Posted by: JD Kolassa | May 9, 2007 6:42 PM
Thats Just ubsurd, energy drinks are energy drinks, and nothi'n else. I agree that the name shuld be changed. Drinking a can that sais cocain ain't cool, neither is taki'n cocain.
Posted by: jilly jal | May 9, 2007 9:19 PM
cocain is lame, what a shame. taki'n it wont give you fame, cus' erbody da same. dis ain't a game
Posted by: jilly jal | May 9, 2007 9:23 PM
THanks FDA i feel safer already
Posted by: | May 9, 2007 11:33 PM
Sniff Sniff I smell a rat! Bush ain't addicted to blow he just likes the way it smells
Posted by: | May 10, 2007 8:27 AM
I lived on nothing but Cocaine for several months this winter and I'm fine
Posted by: | May 10, 2007 11:31 PM
I was so psyched when I first heard about this but then I realized it was a drink not the powder
Posted by: kelly r | May 12, 2007 9:53 AM
Legalize it
Posted by: | May 13, 2007 8:50 PM
The only difference between good drugs and bad drugs is legality. Abolish all drug laws, and this won't be an issue.
Posted by: kcottomd | May 15, 2007 4:42 PM
CRACK IS WHACK
Posted by: Sue | May 16, 2007 3:39 PM
i find that them takeing cocain energy drink off of the shelfs is stupid and uncalled for... im relitively younge and i have drank cocain on several occasions and im not at all infulenced to use or sell the illigal stubstance cocain. If they ban cocain they should stop selling root beer to underage kids. its the same concept. drinking an energy drink doesnt influnce ANYTHING. i must say the government has done sumthing wrong. again.
Posted by: _Disappointed_Child_ | May 16, 2007 7:23 PM
AS MY RICK JAMES WOULD SAY "COCAINE IS ONE HELL OF A DRUG".
Posted by: franky | May 22, 2007 1:56 PM
AS MY RICK JAMES WOULD SAY "COCAINE IS ONE HELL OF A DRUG".
Posted by: franky | May 22, 2007 1:56 PM
Chiiiido la bebida de cocaine.....
Posted by: Kuevas | May 29, 2007 10:26 PM
The comments to this entry are closed.
Astonishing, The FDA can't stop real cocaine so instead they go after it in liquid form. Pathetic