Archive: June 10, 2007 - June 16, 2007
This Week In Offbeat Crime 6.15.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's been an up-and-down fortnight for OFF/beat crime. Before we get to your nominees in the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award, I wanted to begin with what has to be the most random robbery of the past two weeks. You've probably heard of grand theft auto. But what about grand theft thermo? Police in Wisconsin apprehended a man they say robbed a grocery store of "12 bottles of whiskey, two heads of lettuce and a digital thermometer." Dare I say it was a "hot thermometer"? (Sorry.) Carl L. Newson, held on $25,000 bond, is also a suspect in a similar crime from June 4 involving "54 bottles of liquor and a bottle of body wash." It's like McGuyver's shopping list if he were a raging alcoholic. And now, here are your nominees for this week's "Stupidest Criminal Award" *First is Floridian Shaquille McKinney, who...
By Emil Steiner | June 15, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
Roy Pearson, Custom Cleaners & The $54 Million Pants
Note: Please upgrade your Flash plug-in to view our enhanced content. var thisObj = "flashObj1"; var so = new SWFObject("http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/mmedia/player/wpniplayer_454.swf", thisObj, "454", "279", "8", "#ffffff"); so.addParam("allowScriptAccess", "always"); so.addParam("swfliveconnect", true); so.addVariable("thisObj", thisObj); so.addVariable("vid","ms061407-2v_title"); so.addVariable("playads", "no"); so.addVariable("adserv",""); so.addVariable("autoStart", "no"); so.write("flashcontent"); Hey, I wanted to thank everyone for their support of my blogging of the $54 million pants suit. The coverage, as you probably know, has been absolutely crazy. Who knew a story about a pair of trousers could have such legs! I've made a number of appearances on MSNBC, BBC, NPR and WaPo Radio to discuss just how bizarre it is that a judge (of all people) is filing what must be the most frivolous lawsuit in recent memory. Above, there's a clip of my most recent MSNBC appearance for those who missed it, or who want to see a picture of me without those "OFF/beat" bubbles. And be sure to...
By Emil Steiner | June 14, 2007; 1:50 PM ET | Comments (62)
Louisiana Mayor Bans Sagging Pants
Delcambre To Punish Low-Rider Fashion With Jail Time The 'Battle of the Britches' Continues It seems like all I've been blogging about this week is pants, but this story -- like the $54 million pants suit -- is too strange to ignore. Still, I promise next week to drop my pants blogging entirely! That said, the droopy drawers détente has marched westward from Florida to Louisiana into the "Cajun-country town" of Delcambre. That's where Mayor Carol Broussard announced his plans to sign an ordinance making it illegal for folks "to let the waistband of [their] pants sag too low in public."The new law would carry strict penalties for violators, including fines up to $500 and jail terms of up to six months if underwear or private areas are visible. That second stipulation effectively closes the "commando" loophole left open by Florida's measure, which focused only on visible undergarments. Also, unlike...
By Emil Steiner | June 14, 2007; 11:30 AM ET | Comments (70)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 14th! On this date 359 years ago, Margaret Jones was hanged in Boston for witchcraft. This was the first of many such executions that took place in the Massachusetts colony. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Broken Bargain JetIn one of the more disturbing customer relations debacles in recent memory, Spanish budget carrier Vueling Airlines, blocked off most of the seats on the left side of a plane flying to Portugal because the emergency door wasn't functional. The captain then got on the loud speaker, presumably to set passengers minds at ease, and announced: "We will not be able to use that part of the plane because we have a safety problem with the door at the front. Don't worry, it's only a safety problem." Yeah, save your worries for the real problems. 4) Rockstar HotelForget in-room WiFi and adjustable beds. The modern business traveler is looking...
By Emil Steiner | June 14, 2007; 5:59 AM ET | Comments (4)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners, Day 2
Talk About Being Taken to the Cleaners (AP) Soo and Jin Chung came to the United States from South Korea to pursue the American dream -- only to have it torn asunder by that other famous American institution, the frivolous lawsuit. The Chungs came to Washington in 1992 and built a dry-cleaning business of their own. Then Roy Pearson, a lawyer, judge and dissatisfied customer, sued them for $54 million over a lost pair of pants. Now the Chungs are reportedly contemplating a move back to Korea, where Mr. Chung worked in a charcoal factory. Perhaps he prefers the charcoal pits of Seoul to the courtrooms of Washington. The saga continues this morning. My colleague, Metro columnist Marc Fisher -- he's the one who broke this story -- will be reporting from the trial today. You can check on the latest developments at his blog, Raw Fisher....
By Emil Steiner | June 13, 2007; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (118)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners: Day 1 Wrap-Up
Well, Roy Pearson has mercifully wrapped up, and Day One of the trial is over. Tomorrow will begin with his cross-examination, which should prove interesting. After close to eight hours of courtroom antics, however, two things are clear: Pearson is a fastidious litigator, and Judith Bartnoff is a patient judge. But the temperaments of plaintiff and judge are not at issue here. The case is about a pair of lost pants. And from where I was sitting, it seemed pretty clear that no judge in his or her right mind -- with the possible exception of Pearson, who is a former administrative law judge -- could find that Pearson deserves $54 million for them. We'll know soon enough. One colorful courtroom personality I forgot to mention earlier was a flack for the the American Tort Reform Association, who showed up in a seersucker suit with a green lapel button reading:...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 4:30 PM ET | Comments (65)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners: The Plaintiff Testifies (Continued)
After a five-minute break to dry his eyes, Roy Pearson came back to the courtroom. A hush came over the crowd, though it was probably due more to fatigue than to suspense. When the trial resumed, Pearson continued to describe how this incident occurred. Then he began to break down again. Then he paused and collected himself. Then, clearly having difficulty speaking, he asked if he could submit this part in writing. Defense counsel objected, and the judge assured Pearson he was doing fine. Pulling himself together, Pearson continued with his exhaustive description of how he -- or, in his telling, Custom Cleaners -- lost his pants. He testified that he is not a person given to threats, and so gave a lot of thought to this lawsuit. He did not want to litigate, he said, but he felt that D.C. consumer protection laws gave him no choice. At 3:55...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 3:35 PM ET | Comments (32)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners: The Plaintiff Testifies (and Breaks Down!)
If I had $54 million in my pocket, I'd almost give it to Roy Pearson to end this thing. Pearson took the stand this afternoon in his trial against Custom Cleaners, and it wasn't exactly spellbinding. Pearson went into seemingly every minute detail of life: his history of community service, his weight gain as a middle-aged man, his financial woes and his painful divorce. Even the opposing defense counsel was rubbing his eyes and suppressing yawns. But the judge let Pearson tell his story, taking occasional notes, always with a somewhat bemused expression on her face. I could almost see the thought bubble over her head: Take as much time as you need to orchestrate your circus. (Though if circuses were this slow, Barnum & Bailey would be out of business.) Then, just before 3:30, Roy L. Pearson broke down, appeared to almost cry, and quickly requested a break. Would...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 3:23 PM ET | Comments (47)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners, Witnesses 7 & 8
The seventh and eighth witnesses gave fairly quick testimony. First was Samuel Adinew, a salesman at Nordstrom who confirmed that he sold the kind of Hickey Freeman suits that brought rise to this lawsuit in the first place. Befitting his position, Adinew was well appointed, wearing a dapper gray striped suit, white striped shirt with double button cuff and pink/purple tie. Under cross examination, he testified that the most expensive pair of pants he sold cost $395. Next was Lewis Burnett, who works with Pearson as a D.C. administrative court judge. Pearson was his mentor, he said, and they had similar interests. But he and Pearson had not been able to spend much time together on weekends lately, he said, because Pearson was too busy working on the case. We'll see what kind of questions defense counsel asks Burnett during cross. Stay tuned....
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 2:43 PM ET | Comments (28)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners, Witness 6
Blogging Live From This Year's Most Frivolous Lawsuit After a one-hour lunch break, the trial resumed at approximately 2:15. For his sixth witness, Pearson called his son, a caterer. He testified that when he first started in the food-service industry, he didn't have enough money to buy a suit, so he often "shopped" in his father's closet, borrowing suits as necessary. He also testified that he was surprised when he heard his father was suing Custom Cleaners. "I know you don't like litigation," he told his father from the stand. "You had talked me out of one at one time."...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 2:29 PM ET | Comments (7)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners, Witness 4
Pearson's fourth witness, Grace Hewell, was the most entertaining thus far. Instead of taking the witness chair, the 89-year-old wheelchair-bound veteran of World War II was placed next to Pearson. When asked if she would tell the truth during her oath, she asked the court officer to please speak up, explaining she doesn't hear well in her left ear. She then briefly recounted how and when she lost her hearing. Pearson began his examination by asking her to give her background; she responded that it may be too long to fully enumerate. During her long career, she said, Hewell had worked on a congressional committee for education and labor during the Kennedy and Johnson administrations -- a point which she brought up repeatedly and in varying depth over the course of her testimony. Judge Bartnoff commended her on her service but explained that she had been called to testify about...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 2:08 PM ET | Comments (28)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners, Witness 3
Blogging Live From This Year's Most Frivolous Lawsuit For his third witness, Pearson called Rhonda Johnston, an employee of the Postal Service whose office was just a few storefronts from Custom Cleaners. She is the youngest witness thus far, with cornrows and a loud voice. During a long and colorful examination of her background, defense counsel objected that it was irrelevant. Discussion then moved on to her complaint, during which Ms. Johnston spoke in a vivid "Asian accent" and said she lost a $40 sweater. Custom Cleaners, Johnston said, claimed not to have damaged the sweater because it claimed never to have cleaned it. "'You not bring here,"' the Chungs told her, Johnston testified. "And I said, 'Yeah, I did bring."'...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 1:44 PM ET | Comments (5)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners, Witness 2
Blogging Live From This Year's Most Frivolous Lawsuit Pearson's second witness, Lisa Hutchins, M.D., seems reluctant and is soft spoken. But it could be the courtroom's terrible acoustics. She stopped patronizing Custom Cleaners, she said, when one of her dresses was damaged. Ms. Chung claimed it had been damaged beforehand, Hutchins said, and pretended not to understand her. She testified that she told the Chungs they might lose a customer and they appeared not to care. Under cross-examination, Hutchins testified that her interpretation of "satisfaction guaranteed" would be reimbursement for the dress: "Yes, that would satisfy me." She went on to say, however, that "I don't believe in bait-and-switch practices, which I feel happened here." Custom Cleaners, she said, "should be counted on to uphold the law."...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 12:38 PM ET | Comments (4)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners, Pearson Witness 1
Blogging Live From This Year's Most Frivolous Lawsuit Talk About Being Taken to the Cleaners (AP) After a break, Pearson called his first witness, Nora D. Faison. The rather stale testimony was punctuated by a moment of laughter when Pearson asked the senior citizen to hold up a 4-foot-by-4-foot map of the District of Columbia and describe her neighborhood of Fort Lincoln. The awkward dimensions made it difficult for her to do so while sitting and turning so the judge could see. Nevertheless, she managed to do so, taking several minutes to indicate in painstaking detail what several pins on the map indicated. After about 10 minutes of this, defense counsel objected, saying it was "a monumental waste of time."...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 11:40 AM ET | Comments (1)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners Opening Statements
Opening statements were a contrast in styles. Pearson, who is serving as his own lawyer (make your own joke here about about the mental capacity of his client), went into great detail about how, under the D.C. consumer protection act, every litigant becomes a private attorney general, fighting for fair business practices but with limited resources.The lead defense counsel, Christopher C.S. Manning, said the case is simple: It's about people. He said Pearson was coming off a rough divorce and was under financial hardship, and the result is "a terrible example of American litigiousness." Throughout the opening statements, the judge had a subtle smile. I took it to mean that she was well aware of the ridiculousness of the proceedings, but she was willing to hear this case out, either because it was the fair thing to do or because it would be fairly entertaining. Or perhaps both....
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 11:12 AM ET | Comments (2)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners 2
Lawyers spent the first 40 minutes on pretrial clarification about whether the case should be about the pants or about the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign in Custom Cleaners. Although the defense, the judge and even Pearson seem to agree that this claim is not about the pants but about the sign, Pearson still wants to present evidence about the pants. Pearson has added so many complicated motions and such an intricately detailed pretrial brief that it appears he may be able to present evidence about the lost pants. Pearson goes through what the judge called "excruciating detail" to explain what seems blatantly obvious; it gets to the point where the Judge Bartnoff makes a wry joke that "hope springs eternal" that this case will wrap up today ... but it seems doubtful....
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 10:15 AM ET | Comments (22)
Pearson v. Custom Cleaners
9:40 a.m.: The trial kicks off. There are more press than family. Courtroom 415 of D.C. Superior Court is standing room only. Soo and Jin Chung arrived an hour ago, sitting to the left, both wearing glasses and headphones (presumably to get a translation). Roy Pearson showed up at 9:15 wearing a well-pressed blue pinstriped suit and purple tie. He greeted the press and joked: "A lot of you have wanted to speak with me."...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 10:02 AM ET | Comments (8)
Justice Served (Finally): Genarlow Wilson Sentence Voided
Georgia Ends National Farce Over 10 Year Oral Sex Sentence Genarlow Wilson To Pick Up The Pieces Of His Life (AP) Unlike the final episode of The Sopranos, the tragedy of Genarlow Wilson has, at last, come to a very satisfying conclusion. The 17-year-old sentenced to a decade in prison because he had consensual oral sex with a 15-year-old, today was granted his freedom after almost 28 months behind bars. A Georgia appeals court judge called it "a grave miscarriage of justice," and reduced his aggravated child molestation charge to "a 12-month misdemeanor sentence with credit for time already served." For those who haven't been following the story, here is the background of the case: "In 2003, Wilson was a 17-year-old senior at Douglas County High with a 3.2 GPA and football skills that had caught the attention of a several Ivy League schools. He was popular among students and...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 9:43 AM ET | Comments (299)
Sunshine Project Uncovers US Military "Gay Bomb"
Pentagon Examined Sexual Warfare Proposal From Air Force's Wright Laboratory The don't ask, don't smell bomb (twp) In my job I come across a lot of strange stories, but this is one is almost too wild to believe. In December 2004, The Sunshine Project, a watchdog group based in Austin, Tex., and Hamburg, Germany, that opposes biological weapons, uncovered a "U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting." The story got some press in early 2005, but quickly vanished into that great internet junkyard of forgotten URLs, the only memory being a lonely wikipedia entry. There it lay, all but dead until one week ago when The Huffington Post resuscitated the tale with a tongue-in-cheek entry asking: "[i]sn't it always the best ideas which fall by the wayside?" A CBS news affiliate in...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 7:59 AM ET | Comments (48)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 12th! On this date 40 years ago, The United States Supreme Court issued its ruling on Loving v. Virginia that declared all U.S. state laws that prohibit interracial marriage to be unconstitutional. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Zoological WarfareMonkeys and boars and bears, OH MY! Japan is preparing to mobilize their seldom-used troops in an effort to take on marauding bands of wild animals responsible for ransacking crops. Under the heavily debated plan, farmers will be allowed to call up "the country's Self Defense Forces to build fences and set traps." However, Japan's pacifist constitution strictly regulates the use of firearms, and so troops will be limited to pre-gun weaponry, (just like the time machine in Terminator.), in their efforts to ward of the unwelcome animals. How sporting. 4) Ben-Gay BurnoutOf all the dangers from which parents have to try and steer their teenagers, muscle rubs...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 11th! On this date 45 years ago, Clarence Anglin, John Anglin and Frank Morris became the only prisoners to successfully escape from Alcatraz prison. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Indian 'Bigfoot' Fears Fuel ProbeNumerous sightings of "hairy-giants" roaming India's northeastern Meghalaya state have prompted authorities to launch an investigation. The mysterious creatures known as "Mande Burung" (Jungle Man) have long been rumored to inhabit those parts, but the upsurge in reports have left many villagers terrified to venture into the woods. In response, local magistrates have deployed "[a] team of wildlife officials and other experts... to find out if there is any truth in the locals' claims." It remains unclear if authorities suspect involvement by Geico Cavemen, in some kind of massive international guerrilla marketing campaign. 4) May The Nerd Be With You!If you didn't happen to be in Cambridge last Thursday, you probably missed one...
By Emil Steiner | June 11, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
