Archive: June 17, 2007 - June 23, 2007
Roy Pearson v. Custom Cleaners Update
Keeping Tabs on This Year's Most Frivolous Lawsuit Talk About Being Taken to the Cleaners (AP) Sources close to the case have informed me that a verdict in Roy Pearson v. Custom Cleaners -- the $54 million pants suit -- is expected either Friday afternoon or Monday morning. Feel free to give your predictions now. And, in the spirit of Bob Barker, the reader who comes closest to the actual dollar amount rewarded to any party, without going over, will win fame and possibly fortune, with an OFF/beat entry in his or her honor. Stay tuned......
By Emil Steiner | June 22, 2007; 12:25 PM ET | Comments (146)
This Week In Offbeat Crime 06.22.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar week in OFF/beat crime. Before we get to your nominees in the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award, I wanted to begin with what has to be the most bizarre lawsuit this year -- and I'm not talking about Roy Pearson v. Custom Cleaners! (Stay tuned for a decision on that case today or Monday.) German lawyer Jens Lorek grabbed OFF/beat's attention last year when he announced plans to seek state compensation for people who have been abducted by aliens -- and now he has his first client! Paul Hoffmann of Dresden claims he was sucked into "a cross-shaped space ship" a few years ago, where he was "manipulated" before being sent back to earth as an "apprentice shaman" on a "mission" to bless the city. After closing his bank account, the 24-year-old hotel chef...
By Emil Steiner | June 22, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
A Controversial Condom in the Land of the Kama Sutra
Does the 'Crezendo' Violate Indian Law? Multi-purpose contraception? (Reuters) Few medical ethics debates have the potential to touch so many people as the one now going on in India over a tiny plastic ring called the Crezendo. The Crezendo, a condom with a battery-powered vibrating ring attached, has sent shockwaves through the world's second-largest country, where contraception is encouraged but sex toys and pornography are forbidden. In the state of Madhya Pradesh, conservative Hindus are particularly disturbed by the device, which they say is nothing more than a vibrator. Adding to their outrage is the fact that a government-owned company is involved in marketing it. Madhya Pradesh's minister for road and energy, Kailash Vijayvargiya, told the BBC that the government's job "is to promote family planning and population control measures rather than market products for sexual pleasure." But a spokesman for Crezendo's manufacturer, Hindustan Latex Ltd., explained that the product...
By Emil Steiner | June 21, 2007; 10:56 AM ET | Comments (10)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 21th! On this date 34 years ago the Supreme Court issued the landmark Miller v. California decision, which found that obscenity is not protected by the First Amendment. Exactly 16 years later, the court ruled in Texas v. Johnson that flag-burning is protected speech. Bong Hits 4 Jesus, anyone? Stay tuned to OFF/beat for coverage of the decision. And while you wait, here's your Thursday top five: 5) Rummy RodentsThe global epidemic of alcoholism has spread beyond humans and is now plaguing lower-order mammals as well. According to police in the Bihar state of India, rats are pilfering local supplies of booze in a some kind of rapacious rodent bender that's left even seasoned law enforcement officials "stumped." While no one is sure why the tipsy scavengers are hitting the bottle so hard, one thing is clear: Police "are fed up with these drunk rats." Whether traditional...
By Emil Steiner | June 21, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Save a Life, Lose Your Job
One Man's Heroic Response Violated His Employer's Policies Did Superman have it so rough? (Reuters) If you risked your life to save a customer's, you'd think your employer would at least say thank you. But the heroism of Colin Bruley, a Florida leasing agent, cost him his job. The story begins at approximately 2 a.m. on June 12, when Bruley awoke to screams in his apartment complex near Jacksonville. The 24-year-old, who worked and lives in the complex, was on medical leave at the time and recuperating in his apartment. When he heard a female voice shout, "I've been shot," he grabbed his shotgun and rushed to the scene in only his boxer shorts. His neighbor, Tonnetta Lee, had been shot in the leg in a third-floor "breezeway." A former hospital attendant and nursing school student, Bruley began administering first aid. He located the exit wound at the back of...
By Emil Steiner | June 20, 2007; 10:55 AM ET | Comments (35)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 20th! On this date 44 years ago, the so-called "red telephone" was established between the Soviet Union and United States following the Cuban Missile Crisis. Why red was chosen could be the topic of a colorful debate worth initiating at your local pub. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) A Signal Where The Sun Don't ShineCan you hear me now? I sure hope not. Irish prison inmate Martin Mahoney underwent surgery after he attempted to hide a mobile phone inside his rectum during a search of his (prison) cell. Unfortunately for the 32-year-old burglar, his wireless device broke apart inside him and according to Brit tab The Sun "he spent days trying to get it out, but was eventually forced to confess to guards." Though he had some 200 stitches and doctors removed part of his bladder, his fellow inmates apparently find the whole thing humorous and...
By Emil Steiner | June 20, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Mike Gravel: Presidential Candidate Gets Metaphorical
Liberal Political Ad Challenges Americans To Think Symbolically! Come Again? Mike Gravel, not afraid to throw rocks. (By Robert A. Reeder -- The Washington Post) At a time when presidential candidates only seem to be getting louder, Democrat Mike Gravel has bucked the trend with a series of "metaphorical" campaign ads in which no words are spoken. Not only that, there are no catch phrases, no news clips, no bar graphs or polls, and no muckraking of any kind... seriously. In fact, the concept is so foreign and bizarre that it has left seasoned political analysts demanding an explanation, which, it seems, is just the point. In the first, and most widely circulated, video (thank you, YouTube!) the bespectacled former Alaska senator is shown chest up in tight shot, standing next to a pond in San Francisco. He stares directly into the camera, with a grandfatherly gaze, his head cocked...
By Emil Steiner | June 19, 2007; 10:11 AM ET | Comments (12)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
An earlier version of the post attributed the "Macaca" statement to Sen. Warner. In fact, it was made by Sen. Allen. Welcome to June 19th! On this date 161 years ago, the first baseball game to feature recognizable modern rules was played in Hoboken, N.J. with the New York Knickerbockers losing to the New York Nine by a score of 23-1. Among the newly agreed upon rules, runners could no long be put out by plugging (when a fielder pegged them with a ball), which is said to have drastically reduced the number of arguments and fist fights. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Lap Dance Thief NabbedJason T. Parrott, of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, was arrested by police after allegedly refusing to pay for eight lap dances. The 20-year-old's alleged dance 'n dash took place Saturday at The Lumberyard II in Cedar Rapids, where a standard lappy goes for $25....
By Emil Steiner | June 19, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Offbeat's 10 Best-Named Cities
The Strangest-Sounding Municipalities on Earth All that remains of Podunk, Vt. (twp) Perhaps it was spending Saturday night in the company of an adorable cockapoo, or growing up listening to play-by-play from Harry Kalas, but I was thinking about how some things have really hilarious names. When it comes to people and pets, a funny moniker can be overlooked; a rose by any other name and all that. But what about cities? I started poking around and discovered that some people live in places where they must be really embarrassed to answer that most common question: Where are you from? Here are my favorites, listed in no particular order. Feel free add your own -- but remember, this column is rated PG-13. 10) Wetwang, England. Not sure if this the birthplace of the wet willy, but it wouldn't surprise me. 9) Intercourse, Ala. Just a pleasant three-hour ride from the...
By Emil Steiner | June 18, 2007; 11:05 AM ET | Comments (4)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 18th! On this date 135 years ago, Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote in the 1872 presidential election. But even this harsh penalty could not deter her recidivism as she continuing her premeditated voting attempts while luring other women to participate in those illicit ventures. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Runway MatesQ: What do wild rabbits and airline delays have in common? A: They're both nuisances that reproduce too rapidly. But at an airport in Italy, it turns out the former is actually helping to increase the latter. Ornery hares at Milan's Linate Airport have procreated with such abundance that they've begun blocking take-offs, landings and even radar systems. It's gotten so out of hand that yesterday officials were forced to delay opening for a few hours in order to conduct a hare raid with the help of "200 volunteers." 4) Toddler...
By Emil Steiner | June 18, 2007; 6:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
