Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 2! On this date 36 years ago, according to Wikipedia, Charlie Chaplin returned to the United States for the first time since being labeled a Communist in 1952.
Future News Prediction: The Kremlin passes a resolution suggesting that the CIA might have been somehow involved with the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
Here is your Wednesday Top 5:
5) Quintupet
If you've spent your life dreaming about a five-legged dog but always settled for the standard four-legged variety, today could be your lucky day. Just wing on over to St. Francis Animal Sanctuary in Vermilion, Mo., and shake paws with Angel, the delightful doggy quintaped! According to reports, a genetic defect caused Angel's left front leg to split in utero, leaving her with "three normal legs and two distinct parts of a fourth." She is described as "friendly and even-tempered."
4) Slow News Day?
It seemed too shocking to be anything but an April Fool's Day prank, but it wasn't. As ABC 4 News in Salt Lake City reported, a litter of newborn kittens were abandoned behind a dumpster! Reporter Angie Larsen described the kittens as "cold and hungry... [they were] left for dead until someone heard their cries for help." That hero, Dawn Serrano, notified Salt Lake County Animal services, who rushed to the rescue. Larsen points out: "The miracle took place in the parking lot of a church."
3) Dog Ate My Homework 2.0
It sounds like every failing student's dream, or every honor student's nightmare, but a computer bug has wiped out a month's-worth of grades at four Indiana schools. The Evansville Vanderburgh School Corporation announced on its website that: "Following scheduled maintenance on March 27, 2008, disk errors occurred. After working with IBM engineers around the clock to mitigate data loss, the engineers determined that due to an unfortunate and very rare combination of hardware problems and backup configuration settings, all student grade book assignment data for the current grading period is no longer in the system." I'd like to see a student try to get away with that one.
2) It Pays to Be Bad
The words "pay for performance" are enough to put most teachers unions on edge. But, according to reports, Washington lobbyist Dick Berman is planning to change that. Berman, who runs an anti-union group called the Center for Union Facts, wants to give $100,000 to 10 of America's worst teachers -- on the condition that they'll never teach again. Critics say he is "a paid attack dog who won't disclose the sources of funding for his work."
1) Eau De Mace?
Want to ward off the advances of unwanted men? Try Elizabeth Arden's Red Door perfume. Advertised as a "mélange of rich, rare florals, sensual and sophisticated," the scent turned out to be the perfect weapon for a Corpus Christi woman held at knifepoint in her car, according to reports. Police say the two-hour ordeal came to an end when the victim sprayed her attacker with Red Door, prompting him to flee with only her cell phone and $80.
And for dessert, here is your Moment of Schadenfreude:
By Emil Steiner | April 2, 2008; 6:00 AM ET | Category: OFF/beat
