2008-05-09T16:34:54Z Fast, funny news for short attention spans. tag:blog.washingtonpost.com,2008:/offbeat/193 Copyright (c) 2008, WashingtonPost.Newsweek Interactive 2008-05-09T16:34:54Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-05-09:/offbeat2008/05/offbeat_on_the_move.html

Dear Readers: Starting Monday, OFF/beat will have a new address: http://readexpress.com/offbeat. You'll be able to get your fix of weird news, commentary and moments of schadenfreude at readexpress, which is a publication of The Washington Post. So thanks for reading, and see you at readexpress.com/offbeat!...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-05-09T12:11:52Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-05-09:/offbeat2008/05/texas_teens_accused_of_smoking.html

Alas, poor Yorick, I smoked him well. (TWP) As "Half Baked" showed us, there are many different kinds of pot smokers, from "enhancement smokers" to "MacGuyver smokers." And then there are the Yorick smokers. The Yorick smokers? Say hello to Kevin Wade Jones Jr., 17, and Matthew Richard Gonzalez, 17, of Kingwood, Tex. The dynamic duo, along with an unnamed 16-year-old, are accused of digging up a corpse, decapitating it, and using the skull...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-05-08T12:12:21Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-05-08:/offbeat2008/05/thursday_breakfast_bender_64.html

Welcome to May 8! On this date three years ago, according to Wikipedia, Canada's War Museum opened. Wait a minute: Canada has an army? Here is your Thursday Top 5: The once-happy couple (AP) 5) What Happens in Nevada...According to reports, Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons has been kicked out of the house by his wife Dawn -- and in this case, "the house" is the 23-room governor's mansion. The 63-year-old first-term Republican, who has been...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-05-06T19:26:09Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-05-06:/offbeat2008/05/roy_pearson_suing_district_to.html

The $54 Million Pants Judge Wants Back on the Bench Judge Roy L. Pearson Jr. (AP) As if to show that it is more costly to lose one's pants than one's job, former D.C. Administrative Court Judge Roy Pearson is suing the District of Columbia for the paltry sum of $1 million. In his suit, filed in federal court, he claims he was wrongfully dismissed for exposing corruption within the Office of Administrative Hearings. Pearson,...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-05-05T11:02:43Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-05-05:/offbeat2008/05/monday_breakfast_bender_56.html

Welcome to May 5! On this date 83 years ago, according to Wikipedia, Tennessee educator John T. Scopes was arrested for allegedly teaching evolution at his high school. Here is your Monday Top 4: Forever toasted on ice-cold goodness. (AP) 4) Rest in PabstBill Bramanti may have found a way to remind friends and a family of both his love for beer even after he's gone. The 67-year-old resident of South Chicago Heights, Ill. will...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-05-02T14:45:18Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-05-02:/offbeat2008/05/this_week_in_offbeat_crime_30.html

Tony Montana they ain't. (Universal City Studios) Well, it's Friday again. Time to look back on another fabulous week in Offbeat crime! Before we get to the nominees, I'm pleased to announce that the winner of the April 18 Stupidest Criminal Award is Maria Garcia of Texas, who took 38.2 percent of reader votes for handing a bank teller a threat written on the back of her food stamp application. For remembering to include...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-05-01T16:19:22Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-05-01:/offbeat2008/05/huron_high_lax_team_suspended.html

When Is Mooning in the Name of Love Acceptable? Bad moon rising in Huron, Mich. The delicate balance of romance, spontaneity and male teen angst took a bad turn in Huron, Mich., this week after 13 lacrosse players were suspended for painting a prom invitation on their backsides. Kristoff Wennersten wanted to do something "really special" to ask his girlfriend, Carolyn Campbell, to the prom. So he reportedly convinced 12 of his teammates to write...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-04-30T13:26:44Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-04-30:/offbeat2008/04/wednesday_breakfast_bender_64.html

Welcome to April 30! On this date 205 years ago, according to Wikipedia, the United States purchased the Louisiana Territory from France. The price was $15 million, or about what a penthouse apartment goes for in one of Manhattan's nicer buildings. Here is your Wednesday Top 4: Transvestite Andre Luis Ribeiro Albertino (AP) 4) Ronaldo's Crying GameBrazilian soccer legend Ronaldo was arrested Monday after an altercation with transvestite prostitutes in a Rio de Janeiro motel....Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-04-29T14:13:06Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-04-29:/offbeat2008/04/mikes_hard_lemonade_breaks_up.html

Michigan Professors Lose Son Over Ignorance Beverage ignorance can hurt your family. In the latest example of a sensibly enforced child welfare policy, a Michigan couple briefly lost custody of their child after accidentally serving him Mike's Hard Lemonade. The parents' excuse? They had no idea that the beverage contained alcohol. (They don't watch much TV.) Their punishment? A two-day hiatus from parenting while state officials investigated how they could have such a lack of...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-04-29T12:24:32Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-04-29:/offbeat2008/04/tuesday_breakfast_bender_65.html

Welcome to April 29! If it were April 28, I could say that, 41 years ago, Montreal kicked off Expo 67. It is considered to be one of the most successful world fairs of all time according to Wikipedia, and the namesake for one of the least successful Major League Baseball teams of all time. Here is your Tuesday Top 5: 5) The Great Mullet TossIn a live-action version of Jeff Foxworthy stand-up, thousands of...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-04-24T21:30:15Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-04-24:/offbeat2008/04/darth_vader_admits_attacking_j.html

Dark Lord Could Face Jail Time for Striking Back "Your honor, the Dark Side made me do it." In what may be the first intergalactic hate crime, a man dressed as Darth Vader attacked the founder of a Jedi Church in Wales. According to reports, Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, was wearing a black trash bag when he jumped over a garden wall screaming "I am Darth Vader!" and beat Barney Jones and his cousin Michael...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-04-24T10:27:43Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-04-24:/offbeat2008/04/thursday_breakfast_bender_63.html

Welcome to April 24! On this date 55 years ago, according to Wikipedia, the Southwest Bank in St. Louis was robbed, a heist that was later immortalized in the Steve McQueen movie imaginatively titled, "The Great St. Louis Bank Robbery." Future News Prediction: Inspired by Alec Baldwin's "Always Be Closing" speech from Glengarry Glen Ross, Barack Obama's campaign staff refuses to serve him coffee of any kind, telling him that coffee "is for closers only!"...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-04-23T13:00:47Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-04-23:/offbeat2008/04/sen_derrick_shepherd_sagging_p.html

Is Trouble With a Capital 'T' Brewing in Baton Rouge? Sagging survives statewide test. (AP) Louisiana's attempt to create a statewide ban on droopy pants has failed, but its sponsor has vowed to keep fighting. And for some reason I can't get the "The Music Man" out of my head. Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption! The moment your son leaves the house, Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee? The anti-sagging bill,...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-04-22T14:06:16Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-04-22:/offbeat2008/04/deutsche_bank_bans_prostitutes.html

Execs Told No Sex Expensing Amid Credit Crunch But how will the ban effect the trading floor? (AFP) If desperate times call for desperate measures, then top executives at one of Germany's biggest banks are about to get a whole lot more desperate. In response to the ongoing credit crunch, according to reports, Deutsche Bank has issued a memo banning employees from expensing brothel visits or charging pornography to their hotel rooms. The crackdown comes...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner 2008-04-22T10:04:23Z tag:washingtonpost.com,2008-04-22:/offbeat2008/04/tuesday_breakfast_bender_64.html

Welcome to April 22! On this date in 1970, according to Wikipedia, the first Earth Day was celebrated. Other planets' holidays have yet to catch on. Here is your Wednesday Top 5: 5) Bull TestingDon't expect congressional hearings, but starting next month, Spanish bulls will face stricter testing for performance-enhancing drugs at the San Isidro festival in Madrid. According to reports, drug screeners will be looking for steroids and tranquillizers. Any bulls found doping will...Please click on the title to continue reading this entry.

Emil Steiner