Archive: OFF/beat
OFF/beat on the Move
Dear Readers: Starting Monday, OFF/beat will have a new address: http://readexpress.com/offbeat. You'll be able to get your fix of weird news, commentary and moments of schadenfreude at readexpress, which is a publication of The Washington Post. So thanks for reading, and see you at readexpress.com/offbeat!...
By Emil Steiner | May 9, 2008; 12:00 PM ET | Email a Comment
Texas Teens Accused of Smoking Pot With a Skull
Trio allegedly dug up corpse, decapitated it and smoked weed out of it -- a misdemeanor in Texas.
By Emil Steiner | May 9, 2008; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (4)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From Nevada's governor petitioning to evict his wife from the mansion to sports rivalries gone nuts, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | May 8, 2008; 08:15 AM ET | Comments (3)
Roy Pearson's Latest Lawsuit
The $54 million pants suit judge is at it again, this time claiming the District owes him $1 million for firing him.
By Emil Steiner | May 6, 2008; 03:00 PM ET | Comments (14)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 5! On this date 83 years ago, according to Wikipedia, Tennessee educator John T. Scopes was arrested for allegedly teaching evolution at his high school. Here is your Monday Top 4: Forever toasted on ice-cold goodness. (AP) 4) Rest in PabstBill Bramanti may have found a way to remind friends and a family of both his love for beer even after he's gone. The 67-year-old resident of South Chicago Heights, Ill. will go to his rest in a specially designed coffin shaped like a giant can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Bramanti, who is 5-feet-9-inches tall and weighs 280 pounds, estimates the "vessel" can hold him or as much as 15 cases of beer on ice. And while he fully intends to use it as his final resting place, in the interim Bramanti is getting use out of it as a cooler for his favorite beverage. According to...
By Emil Steiner | May 5, 2008; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly round-up of stupid crimes and the idiots who commit them.
By Emil Steiner | May 2, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Huron High Lacrosse Team Suspended for Prom Proposal
When Is Mooning in the Name of Love Acceptable? Bad moon rising in Huron, Mich. The delicate balance of romance, spontaneity and male teen angst took a bad turn in Huron, Mich., this week after 13 lacrosse players were suspended for painting a prom invitation on their backsides. Kristoff Wennersten wanted to do something "really special" to ask his girlfriend, Carolyn Campbell, to the prom. So he reportedly convinced 12 of his teammates to write "Will You Go to the Prom With Me? Yes or No?" on their posteriors while mooning Campbell at a soccer game. Campbell found the proposal "cute" (she said yes). School officials, however, were not as enthused. All 13 players were suspended for a day of school and an undetermined number of games, and ordered to complete 20 hours of community service. "It disrespects women, and that's the clear message we need to have the students...
By Emil Steiner | May 1, 2008; 07:45 AM ET | Comments (8)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From Ronaldo's transvestite run-in to a 7-year-old grand theft auto, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 30, 2008; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Mike's Hard Lemonade Breaks Up Family
Michigan professors lose son after accidentally serving him an alcoholic beverage.
By Emil Steiner | April 29, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (31)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From the 24th annual Interstate Mullet Toss to shooing bees with a gun, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 29, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
'Darth Vader' Attacks Jedi Church Founder
Court Issues Warrant When Dark Lord Strikes Back
By Emil Steiner | April 24, 2008; 04:40 PM ET | Comments (5)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 24! On this date 55 years ago, according to Wikipedia, the Southwest Bank in St. Louis was robbed, a heist that was later immortalized in the Steve McQueen movie imaginatively titled, "The Great St. Louis Bank Robbery." Future News Prediction: Inspired by Alec Baldwin's "Always Be Closing" speech from Glengarry Glen Ross, Barack Obama's campaign staff refuses to serve him coffee of any kind, telling him that coffee "is for closers only!" Here is your Thursday Top 4: 4) Stripping Down ImmigrationAccording to reports, Canadian Immigration Minister Diane Finley is under tightened security after stepping up efforts to keep foreign strippers out of Canada. The Conservative MP has received many threats "of an escalating nature" directly linked to Bill C-17, the government's anti-stripper legislation intended to tighten a fast-track program for exotic dancers. 3) Seoul SearchingAccording to reports, 88 city workers in Seoul who were deemed "incompetent...
By Emil Steiner | April 24, 2008; 06:30 AM ET | Comments (2)
Derrick Shepherd, Sagging Pants and the Music Man
Is Trouble With a Capital 'T' Brewing in Baton Rouge? Sagging survives statewide test. (AP) Louisiana's attempt to create a statewide ban on droopy pants has failed, but its sponsor has vowed to keep fighting. And for some reason I can't get the "The Music Man" out of my head. Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption! The moment your son leaves the house, Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee? The anti-sagging bill, introduced by State Sen. Derrick Shepherd, would have made it illegal for people to wear clothing that "intentionally exposes undergarments or intentionally exposes any portion of the pubic hair, cleft of the buttocks or genitals." Anyone caught violating the dress code in public would have faced up to a $175 fine and eight days of community service. Shepherd has been in a twist over low riders since 2004. "The shorts are getting shorter, the tops...
By Emil Steiner | April 23, 2008; 09:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
Deutsche Bank Bans Prostitutes and Porn
Will the belt-tightening squeeze traders to into irrational behavior?
By Emil Steiner | April 22, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From drug testing bulls to a Russian strip club's Orthodox blessing, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 22, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Satire First, Reality Later
The Onion's 'Sousaphone Hero' prediction comes true (almost).
By Emil Steiner | April 21, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In Offbeat Crime
Tony Montana they ain't. (Universal City Studios) It's Friday again, time to look back on another fabulous week in Offbeat crime. Before we get to the nominees, I'm pleased to announce that the winners of the Stupidest Criminal Award for April 4: Jill Foreman and her fiancé, Larry Rieck, of Sulphur Springs, La. The hapless couple picked up 36 percent of the votes for returning a call from police about their missing car and then asking officers if they could buy $150 worth of crack from them. For actually going to the trouble of meeting up with the police and getting arrested, the pair earn a bid in OFF/beat's 2008 Crime Wrap Sheet hosted in December. Thanks to everyone who voted. Without further ado, here are your nominees for this week's Stupidest Criminal Award: *** First is Louis Rolstad, of Wharton, N.J., who was arrested after phoning police and...
By Emil Steiner | April 18, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
OFF/Beat's Papal Merchandise Shopping List
From bobblehead Benedict to Ratzinger brats, when it comes to the Papacy, profits spring eternal.
By Emil Steiner | April 16, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (5)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From the nerdiest wedding proposal ever to the worst-ever reaction to a job rejection, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 16, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From a "mole man" ordered to stop digging to a literal interpretation of ballot stuffing, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 15, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tree Man Sheds Bark
After four operations, Dede Koswara hopes to marry. But will his looks hold him back?
By Emil Steiner | April 14, 2008; 09:00 PM ET | Comments (3)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From the world's largest BBQ to the world's most expensive coffee, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 14, 2008; 10:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
Zulu 1 Tactical Airsoft Simulation Puts Folly in Play
Muslim Association of Britain Outraged by War Game Attire.
By Emil Steiner | April 10, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (9)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Today's dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 10, 2008; 07:30 AM ET | Comments (2)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a mayor who wants to leave town to a woman who married the Berlin Wall, here is your morning OFF/beat news roundup.
By Emil Steiner | April 9, 2008; 06:30 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Your morning dose of offbeat news is dominated by wild goings-on at the Post Office.
By Emil Steiner | April 8, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Schools Embrace a Complaint-Free World
Rev. Will Bowen's campaign for self-help and purple "spirit" bracelets reach the classroom.
By Emil Steiner | April 7, 2008; 10:10 AM ET | Comments (21)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Monkeys, dogs and birthday cakes dominate your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 7, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week in OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and those accused of committing them.
By Emil Steiner | April 4, 2008; 09:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From Australia's cane toad to England's exercise scofflaw, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 3, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Taily Day News Quiz
Can you tell the real news headlines from the fake ones?
By Emil Steiner | April 2, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a five-legged puppy to some homeless kittens, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 2, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Surgeon General Warns Smoking Ban May Be Harmful
Can you believe this story?
By Emil Steiner | April 1, 2008; 01:00 PM ET | Comments (6)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From an elephant polo tourney to a Mexican bull behind bars, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | April 1, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Dr. Pepper 'Begging' For 'Chinese Democracy'
Will free sodas for all inspire Axl Rose?
By Emil Steiner | March 31, 2008; 09:57 AM ET | Comments (4)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From going topless in Denmark to going underground in Alaska, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 31, 2008; 07:30 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and those accused of committing them.
By Emil Steiner | March 28, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From snake vodka to the newest shortest man on earth, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 27, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a botched surgery to a bad job, here is you morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 26, 2008; 06:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
Thomas Beatie: The First Man to Give Birth?
Thomas Beatie the transgender dad whose pregnancy has inspired curiosity and prejudice.
By Emil Steiner | March 25, 2008; 12:20 PM ET | Comments (88)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From a Zen prayer dog to mandatory sterilization for welfare recipients, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 25, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
British Family Told To Lose Weight or Lose Children
Can Social Workers Break Up a Family Over Obesity? There are many forms of child abuse, but allowing your kids to become overweight? Absolutely, say social workers in England, who are reportedly giving three children until June to shed several pounds -- or they and their other three siblings will be put into foster care. "I don't even own a deep-fat fryer," their mother was quoted saying during an "emotional" interview with The Daily Mail. She reported that rather than motivating the children to lose weight, the social workers' intervention has just caused stress. She said her 11-year-old daughter is starving herself to avoid separation and her 12-year-old son has developed "anger issues." Nadine Dorries, the conservative member of parliament for the area and a former nurse, described the social workers' approach as "draconian." But Britain is second only to America in obesity, and health experts caution that it is...
By Emil Steiner | March 24, 2008; 02:00 PM ET | Comments (7)
Monday Breakfast Bender
With reports from Australia to Hawaii, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 24, 2008; 08:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week in Offbeat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and stupid suspects.
By Emil Steiner | March 21, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Australian Suicide Robot Raises Questions
If the pursuit of happiness is no longer possible do we have the right to build a futuristic machine to terminate our life?
By Emil Steiner | March 20, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (17)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From Japan's ambassador of anime to a retired couple making sweaters out of dog hair, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 20, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Christvertising Controversy
A website advertises "Brand-Targeted Prayer" to improve your brand in the eyes of god.
By Emil Steiner | March 19, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (9)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From an expensive nose to a life up for auction, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 19, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
The Miseducation of Quonterious Thomas & Amanda Rouse
When it comes to rules, schools choose bureaucracy over common sense.
By Emil Steiner | March 18, 2008; 09:15 AM ET | Comments (4)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From Russia to China to Michigan, the morning roundup of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 18, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
Salvia Divinorum Creates Catch-22
As states push for a crackdown, smokers scramble to try the drug while it's still legal.
By Emil Steiner | March 12, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (77)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a Putin proposal to cut corruption by cutting off hands to a poodle dyed pink to promote breast cancer awareness, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 12, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
4-Year-Olds Handcuffed For Disrespecting Nap Time
Parents sue school, but have they slept on the big issue?
By Emil Steiner | March 11, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (14)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From elephants obstructing voters to the Church of England's sex guide, here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 11, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Skins Parties Use Technology to Maximize Mayhem
The latest rage among kids today: Having a party while the 'rents are away -- and then bragging about it.
By Emil Steiner | March 10, 2008; 10:30 AM ET | Comments (4)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From vodka slurping tank drivers to an NCAA tournament vasectomy, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 10, 2008; 08:50 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the people accused of committing them.
By Emil Steiner | March 7, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Russians Eye Space Sex and Conception
Who will be the first to join the 200-Mile High Club?
By Emil Steiner | March 6, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (7)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From strawberry-flavored methamphetamine to the world's most environmentally conscious beer, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 6, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (4)
Moses, Exodus and Drugs
A new study connects mind-altering plants and the Hebrews' perceived encounters with God.
By Emil Steiner | March 5, 2008; 12:55 PM ET | Comments (27)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From Brooklyn's Ghostbusters to a shark repellent that may attract sharks, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 5, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
'Readington 29' Pennygate Protesters Pardoned
Pennies remain legal tender for all protests, public and private.
By Emil Steiner | March 4, 2008; 09:00 AM ET | Comments (54)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From Italy's wacky political parties to the environmental benefits of eating whale meat, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 4, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Why Does the Kremlin Need 3,200 White Mice?
That's a lot of mice, even if they are going to be food for hawks.
By Emil Steiner | March 3, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (5)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From a group of huggable protesters to the world's largest biryani, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 3, 2008; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the people accused of committing them.
By Emil Steiner | February 29, 2008; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From playing dead to pick up women to a kindergarten student suspended for his haircut, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 28, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
BBC Reporter Smokes Marijuana to Enhance Story
Would this column be better if I wrote it under the influence of drugs? Vote now -- and depending on the results, I'll check with my editor.
By Emil Steiner | February 27, 2008; 10:30 AM ET | Comments (77)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From an elephant hunt to a monkey wedding, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 27, 2008; 06:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From shoes for Germany's police dogs to a trade school teaching students to grow pot, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 26, 2008; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From the fattest cheerleaders in baseball to the world's largest hamburger, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 25, 2008; 06:30 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week in OFF/beat Crime
From a man who stole a GPS device from a police car to a man who walked into a police station with beer in his hand and marijuana in his pocket.
By Emil Steiner | February 22, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Israeli MP Blames Gays for Earthquakes
A novel geology theory gets an airing in Israel.
By Emil Steiner | February 21, 2008; 09:30 AM ET | Comments (18)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From cops Tasing cows to a supposed conversation between Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 21, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
The Seven Worst Ways to Pop the Question
With most women saying their marriage proposals were "less romantic" than they hoped for, here are situations to avoid.
By Emil Steiner | February 20, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (7)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From Australia's porky postmen to a British pig painting abstract art, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 20, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Elephant Sex Crime at Sydney's Taronga Zoo?
Is Thong Dee's pre-teen pregnancy a miracle or a moral outrage?
By Emil Steiner | February 19, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (9)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From new positions in the primate Kama Sutra, to the Scottish "pelican-man," here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 19, 2008; 08:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In Offbeat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and people accused of them.
By Emil Steiner | February 15, 2008; 10:45 AM ET | Comments (2)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From a pregnant woman fighting for a last beer to the sexual phenomenon of "choreplay," here is your Valentine's morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 14, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From writing off your kick-backs to sheep herders selling sex toys, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 13, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
New UFO Sighting Reported In Stephenville Texas
The truth may be out there, but, when it comes to UFO stories, it is sure hard to find.
By Emil Steiner | February 12, 2008; 10:30 AM ET | Comments (204)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From India's Supreme Court mustache case to a Sacramento store banning Arnold Schwarzenegger, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 12, 2008; 06:30 AM ET | Comments (3)
Does Facebook Discriminate Against Homeschoolers?
The social networking site doesn't allow them to join unless they tell a white lie.
By Emil Steiner | February 11, 2008; 11:00 AM ET | Comments (25)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From Beijing's drop in public spitting to British doctors prescribing sex to eliminate wrinkles, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 11, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and people accused of them.
By Emil Steiner | February 8, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (5)
Claremont McKenna 'White Party' Isn't What She Thinks
When the dean of students criticized a 'white party,' she helped make it a success.
By Emil Steiner | February 7, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (45)
Does Office Sex Increase Productivity?
Italian sexologist Serenella Salomoni says, Oh Yes! But what about you? An OFF/beat poll.
By Emil Steiner | February 6, 2008; 09:30 AM ET | Comments (9)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From first-grade grand theft auto to the world's longest silent play, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 6, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From a toxic enema to a ban on obesity, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 5, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
The High Cost of Cell Phone Calls in a Buffalo High School
Was Jayvonna Kincannon really suspended just for making a phone call -- or are there deeper reasons?
By Emil Steiner | February 4, 2008; 02:41 PM ET | Comments (7)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From a bed fit for a pedophile to a Mickey Mouse DUI arrest, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | February 4, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the people accused of committing them.
By Emil Steiner | February 1, 2008; 06:30 AM ET | Comments (1)
When Video Evidence Isn't Enough
The bizarre case of a teenager who tried to kill her parents -- and videotaped the attempt.
By Emil Steiner | January 31, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (4)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From speed-dating sugar mamas to a stash of frozen ferrets, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 31, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Is The Canadian Brown Finch Channel 7 Poo Video Real?
Talk about a bad day at the office. A purported on-air reporter at Action News 7 in Detroit is apparently covering an infestation of Canadian brown finches, when all the sudden the birds put the drop on him. . . literally. Let's go to the tape: Since Friday, the tape has flown to the top of the viral video charts, but a lingering question remains, can it be for real? Most bloggers say no. Various theories abound, some which follow the news ticker at the bottom of the screen which would seem to indicate it took place in December, so why would it take something so funny so long to leak out? I made a call to WXYZ Channel 7 Action News, and they say they haven't covered any stories about birds in "at least the past two months." Further muddying the video's credibility is the fact that search engines...
By Emil Steiner | January 30, 2008; 03:58 PM ET | Comments (3)
Today Is International Delete Your MySpace Account Day
The story of one small blogger trying to take down the world's largest social networking site.
By Emil Steiner | January 30, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (13)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From an interesting flavor of risotto to smoked rats ready for cooking, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 30, 2008; 06:55 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From a monkey's autobiography to a crocodile orgy, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 29, 2008; 06:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
From a frigid stunt to an incident of human-on-horse violence, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 28, 2008; 07:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the people accused of committing them.
By Emil Steiner | January 25, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
NASA Mars Man Photo Fuels ET Debate
Who's on Mars?
By Emil Steiner | January 24, 2008; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (72)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
A contest to win a date with Drew Peterson, goths on buses and and other offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 24, 2008; 07:30 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From the battle to liberate haggis to a course called Beer 101, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 23, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Science Lab or Fraternity Initiation in Texas?
A middle-school teacher was suspended after a milk-chugging experiment ended in a puke-fest. But is that so wrong?
By Emil Steiner | January 22, 2008; 09:30 AM ET | Comments (12)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From Sweden's bovine burping research to holding Jesus hostage over doggie doo, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 22, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week in OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the people accused of them. Vote now on this week's Stupidest Criminal!
By Emil Steiner | January 18, 2008; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Why it's dangerous to make confessions to your pets -- and other offbeat news for your morning.
By Emil Steiner | January 17, 2008; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Was It a UFO in Stephenville? An Offbeat Poll
An unscientific reader poll on whether extraterrestrial life is science or science fiction.
By Emil Steiner | January 16, 2008; 09:30 AM ET | Comments (98)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From the sex lives of political independents to Listerine benders, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 16, 2008; 07:30 AM ET | Comments (3)
The Vatican Revives the Harry Potter Debate
Can the Catholic Church resist the temptation of a good-vs.-evil debate?
By Emil Steiner | January 15, 2008; 03:30 PM ET | Comments (73)
Multiple UFO Sightings in Stephenville, Texas
What flew across the skies of Texas last week?
By Emil Steiner | January 15, 2008; 09:30 AM ET | Comments (794)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From an Obama typo to a shark's immaculate conception, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 15, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
OFF/beat's Bright Business Ideas for 2008
Three new products so profound in genius they make sliced bread seem like New Coke.
By Emil Steiner | January 14, 2008; 01:25 PM ET | Comments (6)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From drug testing at the Grammy Awards to Mr. Clean's eviction for poor hygiene, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 14, 2008; 08:15 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monkey Prostitution Rattles Homo Sapiens' Society
Can human altruism exist within the rules of biological market theory?
By Emil Steiner | January 10, 2008; 06:30 PM ET | Comments (16)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From microwaving Satan to a Long Island ban on Silly String, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 10, 2008; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Off the Beaten Path
OFF/beat will return Jan. 9.
By Emil Steiner | January 2, 2008; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (11)
OFF/beat's Year In Review
A retrospective of the year's strangest quotes, headlines and phrases.
By Emil Steiner | December 31, 2007; 12:00 PM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From an Antarctic Christmas brawl to outsourcing pregnancy to India, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 31, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Southwest Airlines Stumbles Out of the Closet
Conflicting messages from the company's gay travel section.
By Emil Steiner | December 27, 2007; 12:00 PM ET | Comments (34)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From a waring against hospital clowns to a possible middle ground between feminists and Muslim extremists, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 27, 2007; 06:50 AM ET | Comments (2)
Boxing Day For the Rest of Us
Enjoying the also-ran of this holiday season is the true spirit of Christmas.
By Emil Steiner | December 26, 2007; 12:00 PM ET | Comments (4)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a dead man sending Christmas cards to Kim Jong Il's loving television repairs, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 26, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
2007 OFF/beat Crime Wrap Sheet
On this final Friday before the holidays, it's time to take a look back on the year that was in OFF/beat crime.
By Emil Steiner | December 21, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (5)
The 2007 Idiot of the Year Awards
The results are in. And the winner is....
By Emil Steiner | December 20, 2007; 02:39 PM ET | Comments (98)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From muffin-eating flight attendants to an unusual tattoo, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 20, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Sherri Shepherd's Novel Retail Parenting Theory
The cast member shares her Christmas shopping experience in a 'rich white folks' store.'
By Emil Steiner | December 19, 2007; 06:33 PM ET | Comments (14)
2007 Idiot of the Year Nominees
Readers vote: Who should be 2007's Idiot of the Year?
By Emil Steiner | December 19, 2007; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (48)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Here is your morning mix of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 19, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
UBS Ties Jump in Lunar Land Value To U.S. Housing
The long and short of buying property on the Moon. Yes, the emperor may be wearing clothes after all.
By Emil Steiner | December 18, 2007; 01:55 PM ET | Comments (4)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From the toughest news anchor in Philadelphia to Wii cockroaches, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 18, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
The iPond Siamese Fighting Fish Flap
How the latest accessory for your iPod could be cruel to your pet fish.
By Emil Steiner | December 17, 2007; 09:30 AM ET | Comments (18)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From a big bigamist to the most profitable way to keep kids off drugs, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 17, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The final installment of the weekly roundup before the Stupidest Criminal of the Year Awards!
By Emil Steiner | December 14, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From near-fatal vodka drinking to a 'robot' heckler, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 13, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From the world's fastest taxi driver to the world's greatest 'mathlete,' here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 12, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Aussies Fight Climate Change With Kangaroo Farts & Contraception
Some, um, innovative ideas on reducing climate change from Down Under.
By Emil Steiner | December 11, 2007; 09:30 AM ET | Comments (13)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From deadly bathrooms to fine graveyard dining and a night at the Mausoleum Inn, death suffuses today's offbeat news report.
By Emil Steiner | December 11, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Digg and the Art of Marketing Plagiarism
How a story about the most expensive phone number ever sold became a devilish lesson about Internet trickery.
By Emil Steiner | December 10, 2007; 01:00 PM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From the case of the bad-breath doorman to a holiday season faux pas, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 10, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the people accused of committing them.
By Emil Steiner | December 7, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From the first-ever case of menorah envy to the Gypsies of the O.C., here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 6, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a real-life Mickey Mouse court to the case of the marijuana meatball, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 5, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Heaven 2.0
A new website raises the question: Does Heaven take PayPal?
By Emil Steiner | December 4, 2007; 07:30 PM ET | Comments (19)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From drunk lovers stealing airplanes to monkeys outsmarting college students, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 4, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
OFF/beat's Top 10 Holiday Gift List
Our second annual compilation of the strangest gifts on the Internet.
By Emil Steiner | December 3, 2007; 12:00 PM ET | Comments (11)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the people accused of committing them.
By Emil Steiner | November 30, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
A Prostitute's Pledge for a Chilean Telethon
There is no doubt that $4,000 can go a long way to help youngsters who really need it. The question remains whether the charity should want it.
By Emil Steiner | November 29, 2007; 11:00 AM ET | Comments (17)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From too-noisy rooster to a drunken mall moose, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 29, 2007; 06:30 AM ET | Email a Comment
Ontario Junior Hockey Throwdown
If fighting is an intrinsic part of professional hockey, is it reasonable expect juniors not to drop their gloves?
By Emil Steiner | November 28, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (16)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From backward brain surgery to judge ordering the return of marijuana, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 28, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Has Jesse Rodriguez Gotten Away With Murder?
How a confessed killer not only dodged punishment, but is actually helping prosecutors convict another man for the crime.
By Emil Steiner | November 27, 2007; 09:00 AM ET | Comments (9)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From a parking scandal in Rome to sabotage at a Puerto Rican beauty pageant, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 27, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
Looney Tunes & Background Checks
The story of a woman who almost lost her job because of Porky, Bugs and Elmer.
By Emil Steiner | November 26, 2007; 09:00 AM ET | Comments (14)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From bovine quadruplets to the really bad airline food, here is you morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 26, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
10 Ways to Ruin Thanksgiving Dinner
OFF/beat's surefire ways to make the worst out of America's most stressful meal.
By Emil Steiner | November 21, 2007; 06:00 PM ET | Comments (8)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From the world's least anticipated beauty pageant to a the world's oldest nude model, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 20, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From a champion Tabasco drinker to a whale in the Amazon rain forest, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 19, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the criminals accused of committing them.
By Emil Steiner | November 16, 2007; 12:00 PM ET | Comments (6)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From suing China for censorship to getting high off of toads, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 15, 2007; 06:10 AM ET | Comments (2)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a man marrying a dog to a town where more people want to wrestle in pie filling than participate in politics, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 14, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (4)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From the world's first flying palace to a woman suing to keep a horse in her apartment, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 13, 2007; 05:59 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Australia's naked politics to ham-and-latka-flavored soda, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 12, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week in Offbeat Crime
It's Friday again, time to look back on another fabulous week in OFF/beat crime! Here are your nominees for this week's Stupidest Criminal Award
By Emil Steiner | November 9, 2007; 04:00 PM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From Borat's new book to the worst resume ever, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 8, 2007; 05:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From Britain's "stupidest laws" to cookie torture, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 7, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Jenkem Madness?
Are teens really getting high off their own waste? Probably not.
By Emil Steiner | November 6, 2007; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (89)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From disco-dancing dental disasters to life after cremation, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 6, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From the axe-murderers of Advent to a corpse assaulted at a funeral, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 5, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In Offbeat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the criminals accused of attempting them.
By Emil Steiner | November 2, 2007; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From the latest doggie-urinal technology to the Grinch who stole Halloween, here is you morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 1, 2007; 05:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
OFF/beat's Guide To PC Halloween Costumes
Here are a few OFF/beat suggestions for some costumes not to wear tonight.
By Emil Steiner | October 31, 2007; 11:00 AM ET | Comments (8)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From invisible tanks to Ku Klux Klan infighting, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 31, 2007; 05:37 AM ET | Comments (2)
The Mischievous History of Devil's Night
Unmasking the Western World's Most Bizarre Holiday
By Emil Steiner | October 30, 2007; 10:30 AM ET | Comments (20)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From a girl's soccer coach mooning the other team to hunting dogs shooting a man in Iowa, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 30, 2007; 05:00 AM ET | Comments (5)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From a hamburger-eating contest to a go-kart police chase, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 29, 2007; 05:17 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In Offbeat Crime
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, time to look back on another fabulous week in OFF/beat crime! Here are your nominees for this week's Stupidest Criminal Award: * The front-runners, thus far, are a pair of feckless Swedish bank robbers who proved that even in crime, "reading is fundamental." According to reports out of Ankarsrum, the dynamic duo failed to read a sign outside the the Tjustbygdens Sparbank, stating that there was "no cash on the premises." Toting a handgun and a crowbar, they refused to believe staff who insisted it was a "cashless bank" and scoured the premises. Coming up empty-handed they then attempted to rob a nearby grocery store but were foiled by a clerk who locked the door and refused to let them in. Bank manager Mats Hasselqvist summarized the situation well by saying: "You would think that robbers would do some research...
By Emil Steiner | October 26, 2007; 05:42 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From the world's coolest bar to France's national lazing around day, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 25, 2007; 05:20 AM ET | Comments (2)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From drunk elephants to fat spouses, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 24, 2007; 05:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From Harry Potter-related injuries to a $1.3 million bra, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.†
By Emil Steiner | October 23, 2007; 05:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From a 'Vomit Walk' in Iowa City to butlering at gunpoint, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 22, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Ellen DeGeneres's Ticket out of the Doghouse?
Could this be the Emmy-winning solution the all-important Iggy Issue?
By Emil Steiner | October 19, 2007; 09:30 AM ET | Comments (78)
This Week In Offbeat Crime
The usual roundup of this week's stupidest crimes and the criminals who attempt them.
By Emil Steiner | October 19, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Pythons and toothbrushes in strange places dominate this morning's dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 18, 2007; 06:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
Cry Me a River, Ellen DeGeneres!
Was Ellen DeGeneres's on-air sob fest genuine or strategic?
By Emil Steiner | October 17, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (980)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Stephen Colbert is running for president! That and a bunch of other wacky news, including a woman arrested for cursing at her toilet.
By Emil Steiner | October 17, 2007; 05:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
Chinese 'Vampire' Gets Two Months In Jail
A Hong Kong man gives 'bloodthirsty' a literal meaning.
By Emil Steiner | October 16, 2007; 07:29 AM ET | Comments (5)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
This morning's dose of strange news comes from Russia, West Virginia, Britain and Indiana.
By Emil Steiner | October 16, 2007; 05:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
From cannibalistic method writers, to human/robot marriage, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 15, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
The usual roundup of stupid criminals and the crimes they commit.
By Emil Steiner | October 12, 2007; 05:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
The usual mix of the strange and the unusual to heva with your coffee.
By Emil Steiner | October 11, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a mom busted for possession of cat urine to a kangaroo playing Frogger, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 10, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Can You Hear Me Now?
A deaf person shouldn't have to explain himself to a store clerk.
By Emil Steiner | October 9, 2007; 01:30 PM ET | Comments (7)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From Norway's mandatory in-school weapons training to a 30 year sentence for stealing a doughnut, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 9, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Foot Odor Murder In Houston
In what may be the closest thing to the proverbial "roommate from hell," a 22-year-old Texas man has been charged with murdering his roomie after a foot odor dispute got out of hand. William Antonio Serrano, of Houston, allegedly stabbed the unnamed victim multiple times after he complained about Serrano's "stinky feet." According to the Houston Chronicle, he was "barefoot and handcuffed" when police escorted him from the 10-foot-square bedroom he had rented from a young couple. Determining whether this is the first foot-odor-related-murder remains difficult since it is impossible to gauge how many previous killings may have been incited by olfactory responses....
By Emil Steiner | October 8, 2007; 02:55 PM ET | Comments (1)
Wait Till Next Year ... Yeah, Right
Examining the clichéd contradictions of sports and life.
By Emil Steiner | October 8, 2007; 09:00 AM ET | Comments (11)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From the Idaho Hall of Fame to the Rubik's Cube World Championships, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 8, 2007; 06:15 AM ET | Comments (4)
This Week In Offbeat Crime
Here's your weekly roundup of strange crime news.
By Emil Steiner | October 5, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Love in the Time of Computer Viruses
Cyberspace has made love faster, cheaper and easier. But is it better?
By Emil Steiner | October 4, 2007; 10:01 AM ET | Comments (3)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From the world's hottest chili to publicly subsidized pole-dancing classes, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 4, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From Hugo Chavez's assault on time to Belgium's fecal politics, here is your morning dose of strange news.
By Emil Steiner | October 3, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Holyfield vs. Foreman: The Grill Rematch
It's not as if celebrity endorsements matter. But it's fun to speculate which ones may (or may not) have been pitched on Madison Avenue.
By Emil Steiner | October 2, 2007; 09:29 AM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
A 24-year-old marrying an 82-year-old, the planet's greatest skipper of stones on water and other offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 2, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (4)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From Santa's surprise appearance at Oktoberfest to the disappearing Loch Ness Monster, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 1, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In Offbeat Crime
A round-up of the studid and idiotic from the criminal week that was
By Emil Steiner | September 28, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Are all orangutans criminals, or just some? And other questions raised by your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 27, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (8)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From horse-biting to house-sawing, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 26, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From "hippie-playboy" Jesus to a duck decapitator, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 24, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
This Week in Offbeat Crime
The weekly roundup of stupid crimes and the criminals who commit them.
By Emil Steiner | September 21, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
The Trial of the (21st) Century
Did OJ do it, and will race play a role in the hotly anticipated sequel to his 1995 blockbuster trial? OFF/beat readers decide.
By Emil Steiner | September 20, 2007; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (22)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From snake swallowers to Germany's seven year cap on marriage, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 20, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a head-butting foot artist to a senator suing God, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From restroom tourist attractions to interspecies love, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 18, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From a fishmonger/pyromaniac to a canine Oktoberfest, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 17, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In Offbeat Crime
The usual roundup of thieves and criminals who are a few sandwiches shy of a picnic.
By Emil Steiner | September 14, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 13, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From a three day waiting period on hallucinogens to outsourcing the Loch Ness Monster here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 12, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From Nazi family values to California's legally naked carpenters, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 11, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From cracking down on a four-year-old's gang attire to cracking down on dictionary slang, here is your morning dose of offbeat news!
By Emil Steiner | September 10, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In Offbeat Crime
The competition for a Stupidest Criminal of the Week nomination is always fierce.
By Emil Steiner | September 7, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (4)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From condom-filled beer to a nail-swallowing lawyer, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 6, 2007; 06:01 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From competitive sandcastle building to a world record kiss, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 5, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From banning Superman (or at least his name) to fighting crime on a Segway, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | September 4, 2007; 06:01 AM ET | Comments (5)
This Week In Offbeat Crime
From exact change robbers to nude hula dancers, here is the best of the last week's strangest criminal activity.
By Emil Steiner | August 31, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (7)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From missing skulls to improved beer pong, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | August 30, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From TMNT copycats to fighting fire with wine, here is your morning dose of offbeat news!
By Emil Steiner | August 29, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Aussie Rules Politics: "Normal Blokes" Rule
Should politicians be expected to get drunk at nudey bars? In Australia, yes!
By Emil Steiner | August 28, 2007; 11:30 AM ET | Comments (12)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From Putin the gay sex symbol to laxatives and marching bands, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | August 28, 2007; 06:30 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
From locker room pandemonium to snake-head geekin' here's your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | August 27, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
Your weekly roundup of strange and stupid news from the world of crime and criminals.
By Emil Steiner | August 24, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Your daily dose of strange and interesting news from the world over.
By Emil Steiner | August 23, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (8)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to August 22nd! On this date 1442 years ago, Saint Columba reported seeing a monster in Loch Ness, Scotland. This is the first recorded Nessy sighting. Future News Prediction: Teens looking for a service-oriented spring break flock to Cancun and use excess party foam to clean up the damage from Hurricane Dean. Here is your Wednesday Top 5: 5) Adiós, V-Test Bad news for chastity advocates in Indonesia's West Java province. The head of the Indramayu district, Irianto Syafiuddin, has reportedly dropped his proposed virginity test for high school females amid an uproar over human rights. Despite his setback, Syafiuddin plans to continue searching "for an alternative way to prevent students from engaging in pre-marital sex." Call me old-fashioned, but if the chastity belt ain't broke, why fix it? 4) Hands-Down DangerousAfter some serious arm twisting, the Atlus Co. of Japan, announced Tuesday it was yanking all 150 of...
By Emil Steiner | August 22, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Your usual dose of strange news from the world over.
By Emil Steiner | August 21, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
eBay Steal of the Week: Elvis-Chewed Gum
Less than 5 hours remain in the auction for Gum That Elvis Chewed.
By Emil Steiner | August 20, 2007; 05:00 PM ET | Comments (7)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From killer camels to a Norway's school for angel communications, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | August 20, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
It's time for our weekly roundup of stupid criminals (and a few police officers, too).
By Emil Steiner | August 17, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
OFF/beat's List of Ironic or Unexpected Business Names
What's in a name? For many businesses, unexpected (and unintended?) irony.
By Emil Steiner | August 16, 2007; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (10)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
This morning dose of OFF/beat news has everything, including Jerry Garcia's kitchen sink.
By Emil Steiner | August 16, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Beware of the Duct-Tape Bandit -- and other strange tales for your morning.
By Emil Steiner | August 15, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Chickens, cows, kittens, cyclists and drunk drivers are all part of your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | August 14, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
From British spy mystics controlling the weather to a novel cure for jock itch, here's your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | August 13, 2007; 06:10 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In Offbeat Crime 8.10.2007
Here's your roundup of the most idiotic acts of crime from the past seven days.
By Emil Steiner | August 10, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From the world's tallest man to rampaging Swedish beavers, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | August 9, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From surgical mysteries to ex-stoner G-Men, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | August 8, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Some strange news to get your day started off right.
By Emil Steiner | August 7, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
The Worst Job Listings Ever?
From kill supervisor to senior loan processor, OFF/Beat's list of some of the worst job listings around.
By Emil Steiner | August 6, 2007; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (7)
Monday Breakfast Bender
The marijuana lobby is smoking competition in the D.C. Congressional Softball League -- and other strange news for the morning.
By Emil Steiner | August 6, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week In Offbeat Crime 8.3.2007
A weekly roundup of some of the world's more unusual crimes and the geniuses who are charged with them.
By Emil Steiner | August 3, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Dunkin' Donuts Sued Over Pork Policy
A lawsuit over bacon: A Dunkin' Donuts franchisee is suing the company for the right not to sell the other white meat.
By Emil Steiner | August 2, 2007; 10:32 AM ET | Comments (32)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to Aug. 2nd! On this date 70 years ago, the Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 is passed by Congress, which essentially rendered marijuana and all its byproducts illegal. Here is your Thursday Top 5: 5) Scientific GoldAfter exhaustive research, scientists have reached the remarkable conclusion that people have sex "because it feels good"! This groundbreaking discovery comes thanks to a University of Texas peer-reviewed study published in the August edition of the Archives of Sexual Behavior, with data indicating that college-aged men and women list experiencing physical pleasure as their top reason for gettin' it on. Call the Nobel Prize people -- this year's competition is over! 4) For the Love of GodMuch like love, faith makes us do some crazy things, but you have to hand it to Rajesh Tajpuria of Nepal for taking it to the next level. The pharmacy worker "cut off his right hand after...
By Emil Steiner | August 2, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to August 1st! On this date 26 years ago, MTV began broadcasting in the United States and aired its first video, "Video Killed the Radio Star," by the Buggles. Here is your Wednesday Top 5: 5) Turning Your Alcoholism Into ArtWho says drinking and driving don't mix? British art and design student Jack Kirby pounded a Budweiser four-pack every day for three years -- and then used the empties to create a scale model 1965 Ford Mustang. Kirby said it was "hard work," though he did reportedly have a couple cans afterward to celebrate. 4) Avian Birth ControlChristian conservatives may have a point when they say contraception is for the birds. Officials in Hollywood are so fed up with the out-of-control pigeon population that they are looking to put the the flying rats on the pill. Argyle Civic Association is leading the campaign to dose an estimated 5,000 birds...
By Emil Steiner | August 1, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to July 31st! On this date 37 years ago, the British Navy issued its final daily ration of rum aboard the HMS Phoebe on what has come to be known as Black Tot Day. The centuries-old tradition of doling out grog to thirsty sailors concluded after the House of Commons determined months of debate that the risks of piloting ships while drunk outweighed the benefits. Could NASA be next? And on that sobering note, here is your Tuesday Top 5: 5) Silent FaithWhat better way to forget about the silencing of the boatswain's "Up Spirits" than mimes -- ultra-religious mimes? Jason and Mason Porter of Dallas are using actions, not words, "to encourage people to embrace the Christian faith." The twin sons of Rev. Ray Charles and Shirley Porter have been moving audiences at Bethlehem Pentecostal Holiness Church for several years despite their rough pasts, which include time in...
By Emil Steiner | July 31, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to July 30th! On this date 51 years ago, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed a joint resolution adopting "In God We Trust" as the national motto. Until then, God had been absent from U.S. currency, though there were references on some bills to silver. And on that pious note, here is your Monday Top 5: 5) Exorcism Gone BadA routine exorcism took a tragic turn this weekend in Pheonix after officers attempts to subdue one particpant with non-lethal force ended in death. According to reports, when police arrived Ronald Marquez was strangling his 3-year-old granddaughter while her bloodied and naked 19-year-old mother was chanting "something that was religious in nature." A struggle ensued and the 49-year-old Marquez was zapped several times by stun guns before being subdued. Although one witness said that he "initially appeared normal," soon after he stopped breathing and was pronounced dead. 4) Dead Love LivesIn...
By Emil Steiner | July 30, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week in Offbeat Crime 7.27.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar week in OFF/beat crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular "Stupidest Criminal Award:" * First is a team of creative geniuses from China who are accused of stealing $6.7 million and using it to buy lottery tickets in an elaborate get-rich-quick-scheme that (as such schemes tend to) failed miserably. A few days after blowing nearly all the cash on numbers that didn't come up, the five bank workers and accomplices were arrested. Need more proof that the lottery is a tax on stupidity? ** In our No. 2 spot we have a couple from Virginia that attempted to evade police the old-fashioned way: on horseback. The dynamic due first aroused suspicion when the man was seen urinating on the wall of a convenience store Saturday night. Witnesses reportedly told him to stop...
By Emil Steiner | July 27, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to July 26th! On this date 16 years ago, Paul "Pee-wee Herman" Reubens was arrested in a Sarasota, Fla., theater for exposing himself. Ever since, "Pee-wee's Playhouse" hasn't had quite the same meaning. And on that note, here is your Thursday Top 5: 5) Ready Maid Urine As the saying goes, one woman's skin cream is another man's poison. An Indonesian maid who pleaded guilty to serving her employer a glass of water laced with urine was sentenced Wednesday to six days in jail. Despite her plea, the 29-year-old claimed she was using "the urine to treat a skin condition" and that it got in the water accidentally. Sounds plausible. After all, if you really want to slip someone some urine, there are better beverages to use than water! 4) Big Brother Likes To Watch Kissing means many things in many places, but for Beijing's closed-circuit security cameras, it...
By Emil Steiner | July 26, 2007; 06:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to July 25th! On this date 42 years ago, Bob Dylan caused quite a stir at the Newport Folk Festival when he "abandoned" his acoustic roots by plugging in and playing alongside an electric blues/rock 'n' roll band. He sure had a lot of nerve! Here is your Wednesday Top 5: 5) Legislation That Puts You to Sleep If you're like me, you're either falling asleep at your desk right now or chugging quarts of coffee to keep your eyes open. Rather than enduring such a life-draining cycle of REM deprivation, perhaps we could all just move to Hungary. That's where this week the parliament approved a referendum on a law that would create state-sanctioned siestas! Proponents of the measure now need only collect 200,000 signatures to get it on the ballot in the next general election. Sweet dreams, Budapest. 4) Cincinnati Sinners An amorous homeless couple found out...
By Emil Steiner | July 25, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From pantsless bikers to bull-on-vet violence, here is your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | July 24, 2007; 05:59 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
After climbing the Golan Heights and cruising through the West Bank, it's great to be back in the world of Offbeat news! So, welcome to July 23rd! On this date 104 years ago the Ford Motor Co. sold its first car, the Model A, to a Chicago doctor. The standard model cost $750 with additional options including a rear tonneau with two seats and a rear door for $100, a rubber roof for $30 or, for the real high rollers, a leather roof for $50. Here is your Monday Top 5: 5) Charity Gone Wild! While donating computers to students in Third World countries may open educational doors never before available to them, even the best intentions can backfire. In Nigeria, for example, schoolchildren who received laptops from U.S. aid organization One Laptop Per Child, have reportedly been using them to check out pornographic sites! Kids misusing the Internet! What's...
By Emil Steiner | July 23, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Thursday Breakfast Bender
During Emil's absence, opinions producer and sometime Celebritologist Michael Corones will be handling OFF/beat duties. Welcome to July 19th! On this day 454 years ago, Mary Tudor became queen of England, replacing Lady Jane Grey, who held the title for only nine days. And now here is your Tuesday Breakfast Bender Top 4: 4) In Sickness and in Health, With Maggots and Without... A doctor found five active bot fly larvae living beneath the skin on a Colorado man's head, and he wasn't too happy about it -- although his wife wasn't as upset. "It was weird and traumatic," said Aaron Dallas. "I would get this pain that would drop me to my knees." His wife, meanwhile, told him, "I will love you through your maggots," according to the Glenwood Springs Post Independent. Apparently Aaron Dallas got the infestation while on a recent trip to Belize; his wife, Midge, even...
By Michael Corones | July 18, 2007; 08:38 PM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
A Largo, Fla., man was arrested and booked on charges of misdemeanor misuse of 911 after he called the emergency number to report he was surrounded by police.
By Michael Corones | July 16, 2007; 09:54 PM ET | Email a Comment
This Week in OFF/beat crime 7.12.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Monday again, and we're looking back on another week in OFF/beat crime. Here are your nominees for last week's "Stupidest Criminal Award:" * First is a Montenegrin murderer with a flair for romance. Dragan Boskovic, 26, overpowered guards, scaled a 10-foot wall and beelined straight to his girlfriend's house to wish her a happy birthday. He turned himself in two hours later and resumed his life sentence. Said Boskovic: "I promised my girlfriend that, no matter what, I would say happy birthday to her but I wasn't allowed to use the prison phone. I had no other option but to get the message to her personally." ** Next is a Niagara Falls thief who left an unwise calling card -- his driver's license. According to a police report, Joel Zsebenazy Walked into a Walgreen's and asked a cashier for a carton of...
By Michael Corones | July 12, 2007; 09:04 PM ET | Email a Comment
Thursday Breakfast Bender
During Emil's absence, opinions producer and sometime Celebritologist Michael Corones will be handling OFF/beat duties. Welcome to July 12th! On this day 74 years ago Congress passed the first federal minimum wage bill -- 33 cents per hour. And now here is your Thursday Breakfast Bender Top 5: 5) North Korean Karaoke Crackdown The South Korean newspaper Dong-A Ilbo reported Wednesday that North Korea's Ministry of People's Security has banned all Internet cafes, video screening rooms and karaoke bars, citing their threat to society. The newspaper quoted North Korea's Random Propaganda Gibberish Generator (RPGG) as saying: "It is so promulgated under the mandate of the Republic in order to crush enemy scheming and to squarely confront those who threaten the maintenance of the socialist system." Can't argue with that. 4) Honeymoon in the Hoosgow A Scottish bride spent the weekend of her wedding in jail after attacking her new husband...
By Michael Corones | July 12, 2007; 07:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender -- Non-Human Edition
During Emil's absence, opinions producer and sometime Celebritologist Michael Corones will be handling OFF/beat duties. Welcome to July 10th! On this day 81 years ago Harvard graduate Fred Gwynne, of Herman Munster fame, was born in New York City. It is also Silence Day for the followers of Meher Baba. And now here is your Tuesday Breakfast Bender Top 4 -- Non-Human Edition: 4) Yuck A Taiwanese chef has drawn criticism for serving patrons deep-fried carp -- with the head still twitching. Apparently popular in China, the "yin yang fish" is meant to show customers how fresh the catch is. However, "animal lovers criticize the practice, saying deep-frying will cause a fish extreme pain." You don't say. Tahoe and Lillie: a sign of the apocalypse? (AP) 3) Cute Up is down. Down is up. Red Sox and Yankees fans are living together. And stray kittens are being nursed back to...
By Michael Corones | July 10, 2007; 11:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Lunchtime Round-up
During Emil's absence, opinions producer and sometime Celebritologist Michael Corones will be handling OFF/beat duties. Welcome to July 9th! On this day five years ago the Major League Baseball All-Star Game, held at Miller Park in Milwaukee, ended in an ignominious tie as both squads ran out of pitchers. And now here is your Monday Lunchtime Round-up: 4) Flatfoots Find Smelly Feet With an awful stench emanating from the apartment and a mailbox full of uncollected mail, Police in the German town of Kaiserslautern feared the worst. However, instead of finding a dead body, they were *pleasantly* surprised to find the tenant alive, albeit with "very smelly feet, asleep in bed next to a pile of foul-smelling laundry." 3) Who Would Jesus Enroll? A Melbourne, Australia family has caused an imbroglio by trying to send Hell to a Catholic school. Alex Hell and his wife originally enrolled their son, Max...
By Michael Corones | July 9, 2007; 02:41 PM ET | Email a Comment
This Week in OFF/beat Crime 7.6.2007
Tommy Vercetti, they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on an abbreviated week in OFF/beat crime. Here are your nominees for this week's "Stupidest Criminal Award:" * If I had a nickel for every some-kid-in-Oregon-got-busy-with-a-horse story, I'd be a rich man. An unidentified Corvallis teen was arrested after being caught in flagrante with a mare. The youth "seemed very practiced, not hurried but not wasting any time. He seemed to be following a 'very concise, deliberate, well-thought-out plan'." And they say kids today lack focus. Mind-blowing question: Can the barn owners get pinched for videotaping child pornography? ** In a delightful "don't shoot the postman" moment, a Scranton, Pa., man was charged with, among other things, harassment, reckless endangerment and making terrorist threats after shooting his wife's computer. Jason Griffith, 23, apparently became so enraged at his spouse's chatting with men on MySpace that he...
By Michael Corones | July 6, 2007; 04:14 PM ET | Email a Comment
Thursday Tea Time Trio
During Emil's absence, opinions producer and sometime Celebritologist Michael Corones will be handling OFF/beat duties. Welcome to July 5th! In his first-ever recording session, on this date 53 years ago, Elvis Presley sang "That's All Right (Mama)" and "Blue Moon of Kentucky," marking what many believe to be the birth of Rock and Roll. Famous births on this date include circus owner P.T. Barnum in 1810 and Dolly, the first cloned sheep, in 1996. And now here is your Thursday Tea Time Trio: 3) Oedipus Meets Jerry Springer? A Hong Kong woman was sentenced to six months in prison for stabbing her boyfriend in the eye. Again. As it happens, she stabbed him in both eyes a total of three times over the course of six years. During an argument six years ago, Po Shiu-fong poked her boyfriend, Kwok Wai-ming, in the left eye with her finger. The injury left...
By Michael Corones | July 5, 2007; 02:12 PM ET | Comments (1)
OFF/beat OFF/Clock
Gone Fishin' (The Washington Post) I'm going to be heading over to the Middle East for a few days in search of some peace and quiet. During my absence, editor and sometime Celebritologist Michael Corones will be handling OFF/beat duties....
By Emil Steiner | July 5, 2007; 12:51 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to July 3rd! Cheap beer and fireworks are only a few hours away! On this date 28 years ago President Jimmy Carter, began implementing Security Adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski's proposal of secretly sending aid to anti-Soviet, fundamentalist Islamic factions in Afghanistan and Pakistan. While that funding may have in part led to the end of the Cold War it was also believed responsible for the formation of the Taliban. And on that Patriotic note, here is your Tuesday Top 5: 5) Offbeat Business ALERT The window may have closed for investors looking to short Nigerian machete futures. Reports out of Abuja indicate that with the conclusion of this year's election season, prices have been slashed some 50%, largely due to a sharp decline in "demand from thugs sponsored by politicians." However, long term indicators, such as the historic unrest in Africa's most populous nation, suggest that now might be an...
By Emil Steiner | July 3, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to July 2nd! On this date 60 years ago a purported UFO crashed near Roswell, N.M. The United States Air Force claims it was a weather balloon. Exactly 35 years later, Larry Walters strapped 45 helium-filled weather balloons to his lawn-chair in an attempted to reach an altitude of 100 feet. Despite his carefully laid plans, "Lawnchair Larry" was unexpectedly propelled 16,000 feet into the air and was forced to shoot out the balloons with a BB gun before crashing into power lines near Long Beach International Airport, causing a 20-minute blackout. Weather balloons: What can't they do?Here is your Monday top five: 5) Buffy The Bird Basher In the latest incident of man-on-fowl violence, a Staten Island peacock was savagely attacked by a local man claiming the male bird, which had wandered into a Burger King parking lot, was in fact a vampire. According to one eyewitness, "he...
By Emil Steiner | July 2, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
This Week In Offbeat Crime 6.29.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar week in OFF/beat crime. Here are your nominees for this week's "Stupidest Criminal Award:" * First up is a couple of thieves from China who bet on whether security cameras had caught their crime. The dynamic duo robbed one Mr. Chen of his money and cell phone at an e-game shop in Dalian city. But feeling sporting they decided to wager as to whether the facility was equipped with cameras. According to 21 year-old thief Hu: "We agreed that the loser had to treat the other to Karaoke." When they returned to verify the bet police arrested them and treated them both to handcuffs and a free ride to jail. ** In our No. 2 spot we have Tana Weke Helsham of New Zealand, for his brilliant idea of using his credit card...
By Emil Steiner | June 29, 2007; 12:20 PM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 28th! On this date 231 years ago Thomas Hinkey was hanged for plotting to kidnap George Washington. Hinkey was one of his bodyguards and no relation to John Hinckley, Jr. who attempted some 205 years later to assassinate President Ronald Reagan.Here is your Thursday top five: 5) Shooting Head PainWe've had several nominees over the past couple months for world's heaviest sleeper but Michael Moylan, of Florida, is certainly worthy of consideration. The 45-year-old woke up early Tuesday, with such a headache that he thought he might be experiencing an aneurysm. His wife drove him to the emergency room and after some digging, doctors found a "bullet lodged behind his right ear." When they pulled it out April Moylan, his wife, fled the hospital. Later she told deputies that she had "accidentally" shot her husband while he was sleeping. Motive aside, my question is what kind of...
By Emil Steiner | June 28, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (11)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 27th! On this date 40 years ago the first electronic ATM was installed in Enfield Town in North London by Barclays Bank. Instead of a card and PIN the machine worked on vouchers and tokens.Here is your Wednesday top five: 5) Cooking PotIn what could be the most successful method ever proposed to get people to eat green leafy vegetables, Indonesia's Vice President Yusuf Kalla, has okayed the use of marijuana as a seasoning. However, the world's most populous Muslim nation is not legalizing pot smoking, only authorizing its use in cooking. Despite "notoriously tough" anti-drug laws, a kilo of cannabis can still be purchased on most streets for as little as $5.50, far less than oregano, basil or even tarragon. 4) E.T. or Banana Tree?Fears that a Malaysian witch doctor had buried alien corpses in a village graveyard were assuaged Tuesday when an exhumation turned up...
By Emil Steiner | June 27, 2007; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 26th! On this date 723 years ago The Pied Piper of Hamelin allegedly lured 130 local children away from church with his intoxicating music and into a cave from where they were never seen again. 686 years to the day after that The United States government declared Christmas a federal holiday. Coincidence? It's more than likely. Here is your Tuesday top five: 5) Your Sunday SkimpiestLess than a week after issuing their 10 commandments of driving, the Catholic Church is now telling parishioners how to dress when they appear in houses of worship. Manila Archbishop Peachy Yamsuan, "has issued posters advising women not to wear short skirts, revealing necklines and spaghetti-strap tops to mass, while men are warned against shorts, caps and basketball jerseys." Catholic school uniforms, however, will remain acceptable. 4) Wide LoadEveryone knows obesity can cause a list of health problems longer than a Cheesecake...
By Emil Steiner | June 26, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 25th! On this date 16 years ago Croatia and Slovenia declared their independence from Yugoslavia, further complicating what had already been a difficult few years for cartographers. Here is your Monday top five: 5) Especially Unfriendly SkiesIn one of the more embarrassing public relations faux pas in recent memory, Indian airline Jetlite refused to allow a cerebral palsy patient to board a Delhi-bound flight because personnel thought he looked "unfit for travel." The company, a division of Jet Airways, has since apologized to Rajiv Rajan and promised to train "staff to be sensitive toward people with special needs." Rajan had been flying to Delhi to attend a seminar on disabilities but instead ended up spending three hours pleading with airline officials apparently unfamiliar with the condition. 4) Blind BallStaying in the vein of special needs, four teams of visually impaired baseball players met Saturday for New York's...
By Emil Steiner | June 25, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In Offbeat Crime 06.22.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar week in OFF/beat crime. Before we get to your nominees in the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award, I wanted to begin with what has to be the most bizarre lawsuit this year -- and I'm not talking about Roy Pearson v. Custom Cleaners! (Stay tuned for a decision on that case today or Monday.) German lawyer Jens Lorek grabbed OFF/beat's attention last year when he announced plans to seek state compensation for people who have been abducted by aliens -- and now he has his first client! Paul Hoffmann of Dresden claims he was sucked into "a cross-shaped space ship" a few years ago, where he was "manipulated" before being sent back to earth as an "apprentice shaman" on a "mission" to bless the city. After closing his bank account, the 24-year-old hotel chef...
By Emil Steiner | June 22, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 21th! On this date 34 years ago the Supreme Court issued the landmark Miller v. California decision, which found that obscenity is not protected by the First Amendment. Exactly 16 years later, the court ruled in Texas v. Johnson that flag-burning is protected speech. Bong Hits 4 Jesus, anyone? Stay tuned to OFF/beat for coverage of the decision. And while you wait, here's your Thursday top five: 5) Rummy RodentsThe global epidemic of alcoholism has spread beyond humans and is now plaguing lower-order mammals as well. According to police in the Bihar state of India, rats are pilfering local supplies of booze in a some kind of rapacious rodent bender that's left even seasoned law enforcement officials "stumped." While no one is sure why the tipsy scavengers are hitting the bottle so hard, one thing is clear: Police "are fed up with these drunk rats." Whether traditional...
By Emil Steiner | June 21, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 20th! On this date 44 years ago, the so-called "red telephone" was established between the Soviet Union and United States following the Cuban Missile Crisis. Why red was chosen could be the topic of a colorful debate worth initiating at your local pub. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) A Signal Where The Sun Don't ShineCan you hear me now? I sure hope not. Irish prison inmate Martin Mahoney underwent surgery after he attempted to hide a mobile phone inside his rectum during a search of his (prison) cell. Unfortunately for the 32-year-old burglar, his wireless device broke apart inside him and according to Brit tab The Sun "he spent days trying to get it out, but was eventually forced to confess to guards." Though he had some 200 stitches and doctors removed part of his bladder, his fellow inmates apparently find the whole thing humorous and...
By Emil Steiner | June 20, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
An earlier version of the post attributed the "Macaca" statement to Sen. Warner. In fact, it was made by Sen. Allen. Welcome to June 19th! On this date 161 years ago, the first baseball game to feature recognizable modern rules was played in Hoboken, N.J. with the New York Knickerbockers losing to the New York Nine by a score of 23-1. Among the newly agreed upon rules, runners could no long be put out by plugging (when a fielder pegged them with a ball), which is said to have drastically reduced the number of arguments and fist fights. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Lap Dance Thief NabbedJason T. Parrott, of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, was arrested by police after allegedly refusing to pay for eight lap dances. The 20-year-old's alleged dance 'n dash took place Saturday at The Lumberyard II in Cedar Rapids, where a standard lappy goes for $25....
By Emil Steiner | June 19, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Offbeat's 10 Best-Named Cities
The Strangest-Sounding Municipalities on Earth All that remains of Podunk, Vt. (twp) Perhaps it was spending Saturday night in the company of an adorable cockapoo, or growing up listening to play-by-play from Harry Kalas, but I was thinking about how some things have really hilarious names. When it comes to people and pets, a funny moniker can be overlooked; a rose by any other name and all that. But what about cities? I started poking around and discovered that some people live in places where they must be really embarrassed to answer that most common question: Where are you from? Here are my favorites, listed in no particular order. Feel free add your own -- but remember, this column is rated PG-13. 10) Wetwang, England. Not sure if this the birthplace of the wet willy, but it wouldn't surprise me. 9) Intercourse, Ala. Just a pleasant three-hour ride from the...
By Emil Steiner | June 18, 2007; 11:05 AM ET | Comments (4)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 18th! On this date 135 years ago, Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote in the 1872 presidential election. But even this harsh penalty could not deter her recidivism as she continuing her premeditated voting attempts while luring other women to participate in those illicit ventures. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Runway MatesQ: What do wild rabbits and airline delays have in common? A: They're both nuisances that reproduce too rapidly. But at an airport in Italy, it turns out the former is actually helping to increase the latter. Ornery hares at Milan's Linate Airport have procreated with such abundance that they've begun blocking take-offs, landings and even radar systems. It's gotten so out of hand that yesterday officials were forced to delay opening for a few hours in order to conduct a hare raid with the help of "200 volunteers." 4) Toddler...
By Emil Steiner | June 18, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week In Offbeat Crime 6.15.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's been an up-and-down fortnight for OFF/beat crime. Before we get to your nominees in the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award, I wanted to begin with what has to be the most random robbery of the past two weeks. You've probably heard of grand theft auto. But what about grand theft thermo? Police in Wisconsin apprehended a man they say robbed a grocery store of "12 bottles of whiskey, two heads of lettuce and a digital thermometer." Dare I say it was a "hot thermometer"? (Sorry.) Carl L. Newson, held on $25,000 bond, is also a suspect in a similar crime from June 4 involving "54 bottles of liquor and a bottle of body wash." It's like McGuyver's shopping list if he were a raging alcoholic. And now, here are your nominees for this week's "Stupidest Criminal Award" *First is Floridian Shaquille McKinney, who...
By Emil Steiner | June 15, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 14th! On this date 359 years ago, Margaret Jones was hanged in Boston for witchcraft. This was the first of many such executions that took place in the Massachusetts colony. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Broken Bargain JetIn one of the more disturbing customer relations debacles in recent memory, Spanish budget carrier Vueling Airlines, blocked off most of the seats on the left side of a plane flying to Portugal because the emergency door wasn't functional. The captain then got on the loud speaker, presumably to set passengers minds at ease, and announced: "We will not be able to use that part of the plane because we have a safety problem with the door at the front. Don't worry, it's only a safety problem." Yeah, save your worries for the real problems. 4) Rockstar HotelForget in-room WiFi and adjustable beds. The modern business traveler is looking...
By Emil Steiner | June 14, 2007; 05:59 AM ET | Comments (4)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 12th! On this date 40 years ago, The United States Supreme Court issued its ruling on Loving v. Virginia that declared all U.S. state laws that prohibit interracial marriage to be unconstitutional. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Zoological WarfareMonkeys and boars and bears, OH MY! Japan is preparing to mobilize their seldom-used troops in an effort to take on marauding bands of wild animals responsible for ransacking crops. Under the heavily debated plan, farmers will be allowed to call up "the country's Self Defense Forces to build fences and set traps." However, Japan's pacifist constitution strictly regulates the use of firearms, and so troops will be limited to pre-gun weaponry, (just like the time machine in Terminator.), in their efforts to ward of the unwelcome animals. How sporting. 4) Ben-Gay BurnoutOf all the dangers from which parents have to try and steer their teenagers, muscle rubs...
By Emil Steiner | June 12, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 11th! On this date 45 years ago, Clarence Anglin, John Anglin and Frank Morris became the only prisoners to successfully escape from Alcatraz prison. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Indian 'Bigfoot' Fears Fuel ProbeNumerous sightings of "hairy-giants" roaming India's northeastern Meghalaya state have prompted authorities to launch an investigation. The mysterious creatures known as "Mande Burung" (Jungle Man) have long been rumored to inhabit those parts, but the upsurge in reports have left many villagers terrified to venture into the woods. In response, local magistrates have deployed "[a] team of wildlife officials and other experts... to find out if there is any truth in the locals' claims." It remains unclear if authorities suspect involvement by Geico Cavemen, in some kind of massive international guerrilla marketing campaign. 4) May The Nerd Be With You!If you didn't happen to be in Cambridge last Thursday, you probably missed one...
By Emil Steiner | June 11, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 7th! On this date 32 years ago, The U.S. Supreme Court decided Griswold v. Connecticut effectively legalizing the use of contraception by married couples. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Powder-BoozeInnovative Dutch students have come up with a product that makes producing alcohol as easy as whipping up a batch of Kool-Aid! Even crazier, they claim it "can be sold legally to minors." The so-called Booz2Go, comes in 20 gram packets that, when combined with water, create a delightful "bubbly, lime-colored and -flavored drink with just 3 percent alcohol content." And since Booz2Go contains no liquid alcohol, (until you add water), it might be legal for minors (at least in Holland) to purchase it. Can you say Nobel Prize? 4) Too Much BoostIn what may be this year's most offbeat lawsuit, a New York man is suing the pharmaceutical company Novartis, claiming that a beverage they produce...
By Emil Steiner | June 7, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 6th! On this date 17 years ago, U.S. District court judge Jose Gonzales ruled that the 2 Live Crew rap album "As Nasty As They Wanna Be" violated Florida's obscenity law, declaring that the predominant subject matter of the record is "directed to the 'dirty' thoughts and the loins, not to the intellect and the mind." That ruling allowed police to arrest store owners for selling the album and members of the band for performing songs from it. Here's Your Wednesday Top Six: 6)Olympic Symbol Causing FitsIn an incident reminiscent of Japan's Pokémon shake-up of 1997, a video on 2012 London Olympic website has been removed amid reports that it causes seizures in epileptics. This is the second PR boner this week for Summer Games organizers, who Monday unveiled their official 2012 logo which critics likened to both a "toileting monkey" and a "broken swastika." 5) Pricier...
By Emil Steiner | June 6, 2007; 06:06 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 5th! On this date 51 years ago, Elvis Presley "scandalized America" by suggestively shaking his hips during a rendition of his new single, "Hound Dog", on The Milton Berle Show. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Ostrich Impotency Case UpdateAlmost exactly three months ago I covered the trial of three German teenagers accused by a farmer of rendering his ostrich impotent by detonating fireworks. Rico Gabel had claimed $6,730 in damages, but will instead have to settle for $188 after the court ruled that it could not prove that the boy's pyrotechnics display had caused E.D. in the once virile bird, Gustav. Luckily his impotency only lasted 6 months and Gustav is now every bit as plucky as before. 4) Strikers Blame Conditions For Low Sex DrivePerhaps inspired by Rico Gabel's lawsuit, South Africa's COSATU (Congress of South African Trade Unions) federation of trade unions is claiming...
By Emil Steiner | June 5, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to June 4th! On this date 33 years ago, the Cleveland Indians attempted an ill-advised 10 cent beer promotion for a game against the Texas Rangers at Cleveland Municipal Stadium. Cleveland forfeited 9-0 after alcohol-fueled mayhem and violence spread from the stands onto the field with fans stealing Texas players caps and gloves. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Near-Fatal LoogieEveryone's enjoyed the fun of a good spitting contest, but one recent event in Forst, Germany took a tragic turn when a father fell from his second-story balcony while attempting to out hawk his son. The 43-year-old man, who apparently lost his balance on a forward thrusting lunge spit, was air-lifted to hospital where he is listed in critical condition. 4) Hot Dog! A New RecordThis weekend Joey Chestnut of San Jose, California, decimated the previous world hot dog eating record, ingesting 59.5 hot dogs and buns in 12...
By Emil Steiner | June 4, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week In OFFbeat Crime 6.1.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Before we get to your nominees in the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award, I wanted to open up with what has to be the most bizarre "lawyers gone wild" story of the past week, and possibly the year. On Wednesday, a surly group of barristers, from the Taj Mahal region of India, decided to settle their dispute outside of court, literally. According to reports they grabbed a young man who had promised to marry one of their nieces, tied him to a tree, and beat him savagely. The 22-year-old victim had just arrived at the courthouse in order to settle the dispute when he was dragged outside by the men who then proceeded to kick the tort out of him. On that pleasant note, here are your nominees for this...
By Emil Steiner | June 1, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 31! On this date 429 years ago, Martin Frobisher sailed from Harwich, England to Canada, where he mistakenly mined fool's gold, (on two separate occasions) that was eventually used to pave streets in London. And a very happy birthday to both Kellogg's Corn Flakes which was patented 123 years ago today, and to "Seinfeld" which debuted 17 years ago today. Here's Your Thursday Top Six: 6) One Legged Man Kicks ButtIf cheating death were an Olympic event, Roger Baxter would deserve a gold medal. The Vietnam Vet (who lost his right leg last year in a freak tractor-trailer accident) used his crutches to take down a pair of armed robbers -- even after one shot him in the torso. Thankfully his cell phone caught the worst of the bullet, affording Baxter enough time to wind up and crack his assailant. "I went head to head against a...
By Emil Steiner | May 31, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 30! On this date 201 years ago, future President Andrew Jackson shot and killed Charles Dickinson in a duel after Dickinson accused Jackson's wife of bigamy. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Tolling For Peanuts?Motorists in eastern India are complaining that an elephant has set up an unauthorized tollbooth along a well traveled highway. According to witnesses, the aging pachyderm stands in traffic and won't allow vehicles pass until they roll down their windows and hand over a snack. Local resident Prabodh Mohanty was quoted as saying "[i]f you are carrying vegetables and banana inside your vehicle, then it will gulp them and allow you to go." No word yet if an E-ZPass trunk lane is being considered in light of the inevitable congestion of this summer's driving season. 4) Bugging Your KidsIf you find the site of parents leading their progeny around on those kiddie leashes...
By Emil Steiner | May 30, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 29! On this date 6 years ago, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin could use a cart to ride in tournaments.. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Stanford Squatter EvictedHow far would you go to become a Stanford student? Probably not as far as Azia Kim. The 18-year-old from Orange County, California, successfully pretended to be a member of the Cardinal student body for two semesters, "living in the dorms, buying textbooks and 'studying' for exams." Her friends from school say they aren't sure why she pulled such an elaborate con, "but many speculate that she felt pressure from overbearing parents to attend Stanford -- regardless of whether she was admitted." It is unclear whether she plans on using the experience to spruce up her admissions essay when and if she re-applies to Stanford, but I'd like to read that essay. 4) Real...
By Emil Steiner | May 29, 2007; 05:57 AM ET | Comments (19)
This Week In Offbeat Crime 5.25.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for this week's "Stupidest Criminal Award": *The first nomination goes to an unnamed New York City jewelry thief/job applicant who was kind enough to leave his curriculum vitae and keys at the scene of the crime. When police called the number on the resume, he may have incriminated himself further by demanding his keys back. **Next we have Michael Autry, of Bel Air, Md., who allegedly walked into a 7-11 while intoxicated and attempted to pay for his chips and Gatorade with marijuana. When the clerk refused to accept drugs as a form of payment, the 27-year-old lost his temper and "allegedly smashed one of the [Gatorade] bottles on the counter, breaking the bottle and spilling the drink on the floor." What, you saying my...
By Emil Steiner | May 25, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 24! On this date 19 years ago, the British parliament passed Section 28, a controversial amendment which prohibited local authorities from promoting homosexuality and schools from teaching that such a lifestyle was acceptable. It was repealed in 2003. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Silver Bullet ExplosionDowntown Denver got doused with beer yesterday, when a runaway train derailed after smashing into a parked locomotive. 34 cars in all, including a Coors tanker, overturned spilling the marginally hopped, watery contents across what now may become known as the "world's coldest tasting rail yard." 4) Well If It Worked For Keith RichardsWayne C. Carraway, of Florida, thinks the robbers who broke into his '87 Ford Bronco were searching for drugs when they came upon a cedar box containing a baggie full of gray powder. What happened next remains unclear, but the contents of that bag -- Carraway's father's ashes...
By Emil Steiner | May 24, 2007; 08:30 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 23! On this date 38 years ago, The Who released "Tommy" -- the first musical work explicitly billed as a rock opera. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) DUI SpecialIn an early bid for this week's Joe Friday Award for "Overzealous Police-Work" officers in Schwerin, Germany pulled over a disabled man they suspected was operating his wheelchair while under the influence. Although the unnamed 31-year-old was in fact 10 times over the blood-alcohol limit, it turns out he cannot be charged with a DUI since he was technically traveling as a pedestrian (he can't exactly walk it off). As a spokesman for the department said: "It's not like we can impound his wheelchair." Police remain confident, however, that they can charge him with something, they're just not sure what yet. Little, Blue, Different (FTWP) 4) What Do E.D.& Jet Lag Have In Common?The answer may be a...
By Emil Steiner | May 23, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (7)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 22! On this date 151 years ago, Rep Preston Brooks (D-SC) viciously beat Sen. Charles Sumner (R-MA) with a cane on the floor of the U.S. Senate after Sumner made a speech criticizing pro-slavery Southerners. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Gay Flamingos Land ChickAs same-sex human couples struggle to adopt children, gay animals are overcoming prejudice and breaking down barriers. Two such pioneers are Carlos and Fernando, a pair of homosexual flamingos in England who this week realized their dream of becoming daddies when they welcomed a beautiful baby chick into the world. Thanks in part to a neglectful mother who abandoned her egg, officials at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust (WWT), near Bristol, were able to grant the longtime lovers a shot at fatherhood. And while the verdict is still out on whether birds raised by same-sex parents are more or less likely to follow...
By Emil Steiner | May 22, 2007; 08:49 AM ET | Comments (4)
This Week in Offbeat Crime 5.18.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Before we get to the ever-popular "Stupidest Criminal Award" nominees, I'm proud to present this baffling moment in courtroom ignorance: British Judge Peter Openshaw stunned the courtroom this week when he interrupted testimony to admit he didn't know what an internet Web site was. The 59-year-old was presiding over "a trial in Woolwich Crown Court of three men accused of inciting terrorism over the internet." Pleading ignorance, Openshaw implored expert witnesses "to keep it simple," because, as he explained "I don't really understand what a website is." Now, where's Ted Stevens when you need him? And without further ado, here are your nominees for this week's "Stupidest Criminal Award": *The first nomination goes to Edward Turner for his valiant attempt at breaking Maine's record for fastest confirmed recidivism. The...
By Emil Steiner | May 18, 2007; 10:33 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 17! On this date 3 years ago, Massachusetts became the first state in the United States to legalize same-sex marriage. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Start That Train!If you think Amtrak is bad you should try riding in India. After a train stalled in the eastern state of Bihar, hundreds passengers were asked by the driver "to get out and push." It took them half an hour to move the multi-car locomotive 12 feet where it reconnected with live wires in what I'm sure must have been pleasant Indian summer weather. We can only hope they were all given double rewards points for their efforts. Or at least free drink vouchers in the café car. Do you see what I see? (AP) 4) Security or Peepshow?Remember those x-ray specs they used to sell at novelty stores that let you "see through" clothing? Although those never worked,...
By Emil Steiner | May 17, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 16! On this date 171 years ago, at the age of 27, Edgar Allan Poe publicly married his 13-year-old cousin Virginia Clemm. They had secretly married the year before. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) No SympathyFrom the ironic punishment file, Canadian hitchhiker, Mandy Deschambeault, "stole an elderly man's car after he offered her a ride, [then] died a few minutes later when she lost control of the vehicle and crashed into trees." The 20-year-old was ejected from the flipping 2002 Chrysler and found lying on the ground without any vital signs. It remains unclear whether she learned her lesson or not. The list just keeps on growing. 4) Idiot of the Year NomineeYou know that cartoon where Bugs Bunny gets a job hammering bullets to test for duds? Well, someone actually tried it, and as you might imagine it ended badly. Damion M. Mosher of Lake...
By Emil Steiner | May 16, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 15! On this date 755 years ago, Pope Innocent IV issued the papal Bull Ad exstirpanda, authorizing the torture of heretics in the Medieval Inquisition. 565 years after that, America's first private mental hospital, The Asylum for the Relief of Persons Deprived of the Use of Their Reason, opened in Philadelphia. Its name has since been changed to more PC Friends' Hospital. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Sex Services for PilgrimsIn what might be the oddest cross promotion since nuts & gum, a holy shrine in Portugal is offering pilgrims free maps featuring the Virgin Mary on one side and ads for sex services on the other. Officials at the Sanctuary of Fatima report "being saddened" by the marketing maneuver and vow to "carry out the necessary measures to end its distribution." It remains unclear how many of the estimated 3.5 million annual visitors have been...
By Emil Steiner | May 15, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (3)
This Week in Offbeat Crime 5.11.2007 DOUBLE EDITION
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) After a week off scouring police files for the truly absurd I'm proud to present a double edition of The Week in OFF/beat Crime. Before we get to your nominees in the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award, I wanted to open up with what has to be the most bizarre police story of the past two weeks, possibly the year. Although details remain sketchy it appears that a group of police who trekked to a remote, mountainous village in Papua New Guinea to arrest members of "a cult" suspected of being "involved in human sacrifices" have possibly been sacrificed to the Gods. Reinforcements were sent, however no members of the village, (including those who potentially were on the chopping block) were apparently willing to go quietly and soon a gun battle broke out. According to reports shots were "exchanged and one of the policemen...
By Emil Steiner | May 11, 2007; 06:28 AM ET | Comments (21)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 9! On this date 57 years ago, L. Ron Hubbard published his couch-jumpingly inspiring "Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health". According to legend, the 180,000 word Scientology tome, was written in only three weeks. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Drinking on the JobPlenty of people claim that their job drives them to drink, but few people can get workers comp for it. That trend was bucked this week when a Brazilian court ordered brewer Ambev "to pay $49,000 to an alcoholic beer taster" who claimed his position forced him into dependency. The unnamed employee alleged that over a decade long career, he drank between 16 and 25 small glasses of beer during each eight-hour shift and also "received a bottle of beer after each shift." Though Ambev had claimed he was already an alcoholic before he started, Judge Jose Felipe Ledur found that the company...
By Emil Steiner | May 9, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (18)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 8! On this date 121 years ago, Pharmacist Dr. John Styth Pemberton invented a carbonated beverage in a brass kettle in his backyard. It would later be named "Coca-Cola". Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Diagnosis BankruptcyUsually people sue doctors when something goes wrong, but how about suing an MD for telling you you're cured? John Brandrick, of England, was diagnosed two years ago with pancreatic cancer and told he had 12 months to live... and live he did. The 62-year-old "quit his job, sold or gave away nearly all his possessions, stopped paying his mortgage and spent his savings dining out and going on holiday." Unfortunately for him (or fortunately, depending on your perspective) his fatal illness turned out to be a non-lethal inflammation of the pancreas, leaving him with nothing more than a clean bill of health and the suit he had kept for his...
By Emil Steiner | May 8, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 7! On this date 8 years ago, a jury found The Jenny Jones Show and Warner Bros. liable in the shooting death of Scott Amedure after the show purposely deceived Jonathan Schmitz to appear on a secret same-sex crush episode. Schmitz later killed Amedure and the jury awarded Amedure's family $25 million. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Wadda You Mean I Can't Sell My Wife?In one of the more curious governmental incursions upon free market capitalism, Brazil's Secretariat of Public Policies for Women has ordered an online auction to remove an ad from a man attempting to sell his wife for $50.00. The ad, which described his 35-year-old spouse as "worth her weight in gold," (read into that what you will), was struck down for supposedly violating a law prohibiting the sale of "human organs, people, blood, bones or skin." It was posted by a man...
By Emil Steiner | May 7, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 3! On this date 29 years ago, The first unsolicited bulk commercial e-mail (later to be known as "spam") was sent by a DEC marketing representative to every ARPANET address on the west coast of the United States. Thanks buddy! Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Killing the SaleThere are certain rules of thumb in sales, like don't take no for an answer or don't promise what you can't deliver and of course don't try to sell a home with a corpse inside. Neglect of that final rule may have cost Wisconsin real estate agent Linda Chabucos-Galow her sale when she showed prospective buyers a property with the two-week dead body of its previous owner laying in the bedroom. Salesperson that she is, Chabucos-Galow downplayed the situation, explaining that it looked "like a Halloween prop." Save Bigfoot! (TWP) 4) Yeti Protection ActThink the American government is good...
By Emil Steiner | May 3, 2007; 05:46 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 2! On this date 75 years ago, Jack Benny, one of the founding fathers of situation comedy, made his radio debut on Blue Network's The Canada Dry Program. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Green Fairy Returns To New WorldFor those of us who've been sweating smuggling Absinthe from Prague back to the States, I have some wonderful news. The tasty, near-toxic treat may soon be appearing in a liquor store near you. That's right, the New York Times is reporting that Viridian Spirits has hired "Ted Breaux, a chemist known for his detailed analyses of vintage absinthes," (sounds like a guy I knew in college), to "produce an absinthe that would pass regulatory muster with American authorities." The end result is Lucid (124 proof), "the first legal, genuine American absinthe in nearly a century," which will be available starting next month for $59.95 per 750ml. Please...
By Emil Steiner | May 2, 2007; 06:04 AM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to May 1! On this date 121 years ago, the Federation of Organized Trades and Labor Unions recognized that "eight hours shall constitute a legal day's labour." Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Barber Shop PoliticsFrom Samson to Ringo, hair has a long been intertwined with ideology, but modern day Iran seems to be a cut above the rest. Police in the capital Tehran have begun warning barbershops "against offering Western-style hair cuts or plucking the eyebrows of their male customers." While it is unclear if the unibrow has ever been used as a symbol of nationalism, reports do indicate that this "ban" is part a broader crackdown "on clothing and other fashion deemed to be against Islamic values." Is Vision Overrated? (Afp/getty Images) 4) Flying BlindEddie Murphy once joked long ago that if Stevie Wonder wanted to "impress" him, he should get behind the wheel and drive. I...
By Emil Steiner | May 1, 2007; 06:00 AM ET | Comments (9)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 30! On this date 62 years ago, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun are believed to have committed suicide in an underground bunker just one day after tying the knot.And a very happy 14th birthday to the World Wide Web, without which none of this would be here... literally. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Scotty's Final Beam-Up Space tourism isn't just for the living. On Saturday, the ashes of actor James Doohan, who played Scotty on Star Trek, were launched from the New Mexico desert into sub-orbital space aboard a commercial rocket. His remains were accompanied by those of some 200 other late space enthusiasts, whose loved ones paid $495 a pop to give oxidized remnants of their corpses a brief encounter with the cosmos before crashing back down to earth. Who Will Be Crowned This Year's Most Beautiful Camel? (Reuters) 4) Humplicious!From Dromedary to Bactrian, if...
By Emil Steiner | April 30, 2007; 06:35 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week in OFF/beat Crime 4.27.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. *First up we have Jazrahel King, of Bridgeport, Connecticut, who tried to trade in a Jeep at the very dealership from which he stole it one month earlier. According to employees at Wholesalers of America, the 29-year-old had tried to test-drive vehicles in March, but was turned down because of bad credit. Then, after trolling around the lot for a while, King jumped into a Jeep, which had just been purchased by someone else, and drove off. Employees at the dealership were "left speechless" when he returned and tried to trade it in. ***Next we have Eric Cunningham, of Orlando, Florida, who allegedly robbed an area gas station with an AK-47. Deputies investigating the scene later noticed that someone...
By Emil Steiner | April 27, 2007; 07:44 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 26! On this date 61 years ago, Father Divine, a controversial religious leader who claimed to be God, married devotee Edna Rose Ritchings in celebration of the anniversary of the International Peace Mission movement. She was 21, and he was 65. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Head-to-Head A 2-1/2-year-old toddler had somehow managed to insert his cranium into the training seat, but neither he nor his mother could get it out. Firefighters acted quickly, applying "dish washing liquid on his head and ears and it slid off nice as pie." Though reports indicate the youngster toddled off happily, only time will tell what psychological damage he may experience as a result of the incident or future retellings of it in front of dates. Neighbors Praise Back Alley Dentist (AP) 4) Dental Hygiene & Oil ChangesFloridian Roger Bean has been arrested for running an unlicensed dental practice...
By Emil Steiner | April 26, 2007; 08:11 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 25! On this date 3,191 years ago, legend has it that Greeks penetrated the walls of Troy using a Trojan horse. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Centenarian Beats the OddsEveryone says they want to live to see 100, but perhaps more people actually would if they bet on it. That strategy seems to have worked for Alec Holden, of Epsom, England, who wagered $200 a decade ago that he would reach the century mark. Now, some ten years later, bookmaker William Hill has had to fork over $50,000 to Holden, who attributes his longevity to "a daily diet of porridge and playing chess." Having 50K waiting for him probably didn't hurt, though. A German Parking Lot, of Course of Course (AP) 4) Parking Under the InfluenceAfter "a few beer," Wolfgang H., of Wiesenburg, Germany, decided it was too late to make it home, so instead he...
By Emil Steiner | April 25, 2007; 07:24 AM ET | Comments (3)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 24! On this date 17 years ago, Gruinard Island in Scotland, was officially declared anthrax-free, 48 years after being quarantined thanks to British biological warfare testing on a flock of sheep. As of January 2002, there have been no cases of anthrax among the island's surviving flock! Mutton anyone? Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Pure Urine PedagogyIn some American schools kids get inspected for lice to prevent infestation. In some rural Indian schools, "low-caste students" get sprayed with cow urine, "to purify them and drive away evil." Most recently incident an "upper-caste" headmaster in the western state of Maharashtra had a teacher douse the youngsters during "an examination, wetting their faces and their answer sheets." Apparently the kids were told "you'll study well after getting purified." Who knew? Housing Issues Can Affect All Britons (Adrian Dennis) 4) Blair's Building BoondoggleOf all the people you'd expect to...
By Emil Steiner | April 24, 2007; 09:24 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 23! On this date 659 years ago, King Edward III of England founded The Most Noble Order of the Garters. Although it has nothing to do with garter belts, "it is considered the world's oldest national order of knighthood, and the pinnacle of the British honors system," which, again, has nothing whatsoever to do with garter belts. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Binge Drinking Your Vitamins? Good news for fans of fruity cocktails. A recent study in the Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture found that booze actually "boosted the antioxidant nutrients in strawberries and blackberries." In fact, according to the findings, "[a]ny colored fruit might be made even more healthful with the addition of a splash of alcohol." So next time someone looks at you funny for chugging a pitcher of jungle juice, you glare right back and tell them: "I'm doing my...
By Emil Steiner | April 23, 2007; 07:32 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week in Offbeat Crime 4.20.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. *First up we have Bradley Charles Barbier, of West Palm Beach, who wanted to go to jail so badly that he allegedly broke into a van in the jail's parking lot and stole a deputy's purse. Apparently the 23-year-old had called Martin County jail earlier "to say he was coming in to serve a weekend sentence," but officials told him he wasn't due to turn himself in. Not taking no for an answer, Barbier showed up anyway and became "loud and rude" with officials, then broke into the vehicle after they turned him away. ***Next we have Thomas E. Bartow Jr., who was "arrested early Sunday after he handed an officer a marijuana pipe instead of his driver's license."...
By Emil Steiner | April 20, 2007; 07:58 AM ET | Comments (4)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 19! On this day 20 years ago, The Simpsons debuted on The Tracey Ullman Show with a short episode entitled "Good Night". "What is the mind? No matter. What is matter? Nevermind." Here's Your Thursday Top Seven: 7) A Very Hot Line for Sexual Predators It's amazing the difference two little numbers can make. Long Island legislators had set up what they thought was a "hotline number that helps track the location of sexual predators," but the number they listed (an 800 instead of 888 prefix) connected callers to a phone-sex line. Hi there parent looking to take advantage of Megan's Law, "welcome to an exciting new way to go live, one on one, with hot horny girls waiting right now to talk to you." Is dad still on the phone??? 6) New Drunk Driving RecordDeana F. Jarrett, of Woodinville, Washington, may have broken her state's record...
By Emil Steiner | April 19, 2007; 08:42 AM ET | Comments (3)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 17! On this date 72 years ago, Washington Times founder and self-proclaimed Messiah Sun Myung Moon claimed Jesus Christ appeared to him in a vision and implored to him to save mankind. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Primate Literature?If you've ever wondered whether monkeys are capable of writing like Shakespeare, the answer appears to be no. Though this may not be surprising, would you believe that a team at the University of Plymouth, in England, was actually given a 2,000 pound ($4,000) grant by the British Arts Council to test it? The intrepid scientists did so by locking "six Sulawesi crested macaque monkeys with a computer keyboard in an enclosure at a Devon zoo for a month." What they found was that "the alpha male bashed hell out of the computer with a stone and the other monkeys did little else but urinate and defecate on...
By Emil Steiner | April 17, 2007; 06:39 AM ET | Comments (4)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 16! On this day 64 years ago, Dr. Albert Hofmann discovered the psychedelic effects of LSD after accidentally spilling some on his fingers. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Which Way to Mecca?In an effort to help Muslim detainees face Mecca when they pray, a Dutch police station painted compasses in their cells. Unfortunately, the painters got things a little backwards and apparently switched east and west. D'oh! Agassi Cuts Graf's Lip 4) Fundraising RacketSteffi Graf needed three stitches to close her split lip after being "inadvertently" struck in the mouth by Andre Agassi's racket during a charity event in which the married couple played while holding hands. The operation was performed by a doctor onsite who had donated $70,000 for the privilege of playing against them. No word if he deducted a co-pay from that donation. 3) Oddest Book Title of 2007Congratulations to Julian Montague, author...
By Emil Steiner | April 16, 2007; 06:14 AM ET | Comments (2)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 12! On this day 374 years ago, Galileo Galilei was investigated for heresy by the Inquisition after publishing the outlandish claim that the earth revolved around the sun. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Free Pinchy!Pet causes are like ice cream: Everyone's got their favorite flavor and some are downright strange. For example, an anonymous group of youngsters, proclaiming that lobsters are "God's creatures," purchased 300 of them from New Meadows Lobster Pound in Maine. The lobster liberators paid around $3,400 and plan to re-release them back into the wild. Despite the fact they may all end up in conventional lobster traps, the group remained undeterred, stating that at least this way they'll "have a chance." No word if they are planning to execute similar purchases of cows and other farm animals. A Posthumous Pardon? (Afp) 4) Pardon the DoorsTwo aging Doors fans, Kerry Humpherys and David...
By Emil Steiner | April 12, 2007; 08:31 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 11! On this day 46 years ago, the war crimes trial of Adolf Eichmann, the Nazi Transportation Administrator in charge of the trains carrying Jews to the Death Camps, started in Jerusalem. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Big Love TriangleTalk about a joke coming back to bite you, Judaie Ibn Salem, of Saudi Arabia, was attacked by his two wives "after he jokingly threatened to marry a third woman." During the ensuing fracas a bit of his nose was lost. Do You Believe... eh? (Afp) 4) Northern OverexposureDespite a decline in alien-related hype these days, our friendly neighbors up north recorded an astonishing 736 UFO sightings last year. According to Canada's "top UFO researchers" (don't ask how you get to the top), that figure indicates an "underlying real phenomenon." Whether that phenomenon is too much time on their hands, cabin fever or just a burning need...
By Emil Steiner | April 11, 2007; 07:59 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 10! On this day 37 years ago, Paul McCartney announced that The Beatles had broken up. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) A New Use For Cola?Indian farmers claim to have found cheap and effective alternatives to pesticides -- Coke and Pepsi! The soft drinks, which actually contain trace pesticide residue, not only boost plant immunity, thanks to their high sugar content, but also attract ants that in turn chow down on insect larva. Soda representatives are quick to point out that there is "no scientific backing" that their products can be used to kill pests. But at a 10th of the cost of traditional pesticides, it looks like soft drink manufactures may have found a whole new consumer for their "beverages," whether they want them or not. 1.21 Gigawatts and Still a Few Pennies Short 4) Flux Capacitor in FluxUniversity of Washington physicist John Cramer is...
By Emil Steiner | April 10, 2007; 06:56 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 9! On this day 68 years ago, Marian Anderson sung to 70,000 people at the Lincoln Memorial, after being refused the right to sing at the Daughters of the American Revolution's Constitution Hall because she was African American. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Multi-Plex MayhemParents and children at a New York movie theater got quite a shock last week when they went to see the kiddie flick "The Last Mimzy" and were instead shown the opening scene of "The Hills Have Eyes Two." The horror movie sequel begins with a chained woman giving birth to a mutant cannibal. One confused youngster whose mother is eight months pregnant asked, "is that what mommy's going to have?" You Wouldn't Expect Profanity From NWA (AP) 4) This Is Your Capt. Speaking: $%*&#!!!Apparently passengers aren't the only disgruntled flyers these days. Northwest Airlines was forced to cancel a flight from...
By Emil Steiner | April 9, 2007; 08:09 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week in OFFbeat Crime 4.6.2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. The front-runner this week is Steven S. Cole, a volunteer firefighter from Ohio, who stands accused of drunk driving and public intoxication after having been discovered "wearing a woman's blond wig and bikini in a public park" full of children. A father told police he had seen "what appeared to be a naked person on the bike path, fondling or exposing himself or herself." Cole later explained to authorities that he was "headed to a 'gay bar' in Dayton to perform as a woman for a $10,000 prize." In a close second, we have Amilcar Gomez, of Redwood City, California, who attempted to steal, of all things, a McDonald's security camera. Unfortunately the 29-year-old forgot to get rid of...
By Emil Steiner | April 6, 2007; 10:01 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 5! On this day 77 years ago, Mohandas Gandhi broke British colonial law by marching to the Indian sea and making salt. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Principal Goes ApeTalk about messing yourself, an elementary school principal in Canada has admitted to throwing human feces at a boy in what she described as a moment of "total, total frustration." Maria Pantalone, who happens to be the sister of the Toronto deputy mayor, received "an absolute discharge" after pleading guilty to one count of assault, the details of which were kept quiet to shield the identity of the 12-year-old who was hit on the shoulder with excrement. Now that's what I call "copro-punishment!" 4) Honey Bear Not So SweetA kinkajou that escaped from the San Juan de Aragon Zoo, in Mexico City, got on a bus and then attacked a passenger. According to reports, the dog-sized honey...
By Emil Steiner | April 5, 2007; 06:50 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 4! On this day 32 years ago, Bill Gates and Paul Allen founded Microsoft. Nineteen years to the day after that, Marc Andreessen and Jim Clark founded Netscape Communications Corporation under the name "Mosaic Communications Corporation." Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Drunk Zamboni Driver AcquittedGood news for inebriated ice cleaners! New Jersey Superior Court Judge Joseph Falcone has ruled that operating a Zamboni while under the influence does not constitute a DWI since the ice rink groomers "aren't motor vehicles." The decision overturned the license revocation of operator John Peragallo, who blew a 1.2 BAC in 2005 "after a fellow employee at the Mennen Sports Arena in Morristown told police the machine was speeding and nearly crashed into the boards." It Ain't Springtime No More 4) Fuhrer Without CountryIn yet another setback for Adolf Hitler, the Baltic Sea resort of Heiligendamm has revoked an honorary citizenship...
By Emil Steiner | April 4, 2007; 07:49 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to April 2! On this day 144 years ago, hundreds of angry women rioted in Richmond, Virginia to demand that the Confederate government release emergency food supplies. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Full Service TaxiSome Mexican cabbies may be giving a bit more than just door-to-door service. According to authorities, three drivers in the southern city of Tapachula have been arrested for allegedly broadcasting pornographic movies for passengers to watch during their commutes. The practice came to light after a woman traveling with her 6-year-old son had asked them to turn off the show, but was refused. Christianity Has Never Been So Sweet! (AP) 4) As Long As I Got My Chocolate JesusDespite Catholic outrage, a life-sized chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ has captured the attention of art museums, dealers and sweet tooths alike. Standing six feet tall, My Sweet Lord is "an anatomically correct" rendering of Christ,...
By Emil Steiner | April 2, 2007; 07:07 AM ET | Email a Comment
Transgender, Gay Marriage, Divorce, Oh My!
Does a Sex Change Operation Negate Alimony? An New Case of the Is She or Isn't He? Once upon a time, marriage and gender were permanent things. While those days may be long gone, some people still pine for that simpler time and in response try to make laws that preserve those "traditional" institutions. But as the following case illustrates, when such nostalgia laws are released onto contemporary society, the legal results can be something akin to the chaos of bringing dinosaurs back to life in Jurassic Park. For example, when Lawrence Roach divorced his wife Julia in 2004, he agreed to pay her $1,250 a month in alimony. However, since then Julia has had a sex change operation and has legally become Julio Roberto Silverwolf. As a result, Roach sued to stop payment because, in his opinion, "[w]hen she changed to man, I believe she terminated that alimony." Silverwolf's...
By Emil Steiner | March 29, 2007; 11:00 AM ET | Comments (44)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 29! On a snowy night 23 years ago today, the Baltimore Colts packed all of their belongings into Mayflower Transit trucks and moved the team to Indianapolis. Fans in Baltimore have never forgiven them. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Could Hell Be A Place On Earth?Bad news for all you sinners out there! Pope Benedict confirmed earlier this week that, in fact, hell "really exists and is eternal, even if nobody talks about it much any more." Not only that, but apparently sinners really do burn in an everlasting fire. On the plus side, though, Vatican officials clarified that in the new catechism of the Catholic Church damnation is actually a "state of eternal separation from God," which exists "symbolically rather than physically," so more mental anguish than pitchforks and brimstone. Size Matters! 4) Tall Dark & Spoken ForSorry ladies, Bao Xishun, the tallest man on...
By Emil Steiner | March 29, 2007; 08:04 AM ET | Comments (2)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 28! On this day 29 years ago, the Supreme Court ruled that U.S. judges cannot be sued for judicial actions made in error, with malice or in excess of authority. Stump v. Sparkman started after an Indiana Judge (Stump) ordered the surgical sterilization of a 15-year-old girl because her mother alleged she was "somewhat retarded." Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Only in HollandWith tax season upon us, many Americans find themselves searching high and low for deductions. In the Netherlands, it appears they need only search high. A court in Amsterdam has ruled that "a professional fisherman convicted of smuggling drugs could deduct the cost of buying and shipping hashish" from the taxed income on his upcoming return. I'm not sure the IRS would be so generous, but I guarantee anyone who tries it in America will win an automatic nomination in this year's Idiot of...
By Emil Steiner | March 28, 2007; 07:57 AM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 27! On this day 17 years ago, the U.S. government launched TV Martí, which broadcasts daily news and current affairs programs in Cuba. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Poop PaperIf you don't like how newspapers stain your fingers, you're really not going to like this. Researchers at a giant panda reserve in southern China are in talks with paper mills to process "their surplus of fiber-rich panda excrement into high quality paper." Supposedly panda's bamboo-heavy diet can produce a very fine grain of higher quality than elephant dung paper. And with the 40 bears at Chengdu's Giant Panda Breeding Base producing about two tons of it per day, this scheme is not so much about making a profit as it is about "recycling the waste." New Take On The Crocodile Belt 4) Is That a Crocodile in Your Shirt, Or Are You Just Glad to See...
By Emil Steiner | March 27, 2007; 08:17 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 26! On this day 31 years ago, Queen Elizabeth II sent out the first royal e-mail from the Royal Signals and Radar Establishment. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Chalk Board Jungle FeverFour teachers in a remote Albanian village have been censured "for drunken and lewd behavior" after students caught them having sex behind a classroom blackboard. According to fourth-grader Elton Cuka, "I saw them acting shamefully through the window and I told my friends and parents... They saw me and threatened to expel me from school." Mouse Bites Back 4) And the Mouse Ran Away with the TeethIf there was a picture in the dictionary next to "persistence," it should be of this mouse who continues to run amok in the home of a New England senior couple. Thus far the Exners, of Maine, have captured it on three occasions, but each time the determined rodent...
By Emil Steiner | March 26, 2007; 10:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week in Offbeat Crime 3/23/2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. The front-runner this week is Vincent Lloyd Massey, who gave police a false name after they pulled over his car. Unfortunately for him, the name he picked was that of a wanted criminal with several outstanding warrants for drugs and counterfeiting. Police immediately called for back up and took him into custody. In a close second, we have Derek Pierson, of Stockton, California, who attempted to rob a gas station with a police officer standing not 10 feet away. The agent, who also happened to be a member of the armed robbery task force, was wearing a shirt marked "Shreveport Police" on the front and back. Not far behind is an unnamed inmate at the San Francisco Gotera prison...
By Emil Steiner | March 23, 2007; 09:33 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 22! On this day 377 years ago, the Massachusetts Bay Colony outlawed the possession of cards, dice and gaming tables, even in private homes. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Fatal NaggingFreddie Willhite, 67, of Texas, phoned 911 and reported in an almost deadpan voice that he'd shot his wife. When the dispatcher asked him why, he told her "she enticed me and she ridiculed me throughout my lifetime." Neighbors have described him as "the village idiot" for his practice of pushing a mower up and down their road with the blade going. Now that "village idiot" is behind bars, and his wife is dead. Little, Blue, Different (FTWP) 4) Fighting ED in the AfterlifeYou may have known that diabetes, prostate cancer and even smoking can cause erectile dysfunction, but were you aware that death may also be a culprit? Cemeteries across China are hawking paper replica...
By Emil Steiner | March 22, 2007; 08:47 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 21! On this day 207 years ago, Pope Pius VII was crowned in Venice wearing a papier-mâché tiara, the original papal crown having been seized by the French along with Pius VI. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) "Special" BrewAn Indiana 8th-grader could be expelled for having confessed to putting urine in his teacher's coffee pot. The boy, whose name has not been revealed, was arrested after a cache of urine was found in his locker. Katharine Tuck, Champion Shoe Stinker (AP) 4) Top Ranking StankCongratulations to Utah's own Katharine Tuck, whose rancid footwear won the 32nd annual National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest. Thanks to a pair of gray and moldy Nikes "so noxious they had the judges wincing," the 13-year-old will take home $2,500 along with, I'm sure, the respect of her junior high classmates. 3) Are They Nuts?Hundreds of hungry gourmets lined up for hours...
By Emil Steiner | March 21, 2007; 08:58 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 20! On this day 38 years ago, John Lennon married Yoko Ono in Gibraltar. Some have argued that this union caused the downfall of the Beatles. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Holy Land to Get Its WingsSoon Israelis looking to take their minds off suicide bombers and Iranian missiles will be able to do so by ogling ample cleavage parceled behind low-cut shirts. Hooters, America's favorite stripper-themed family dining experience, has announced plans to open its first restaurant in Tel Aviv. Who said the Middle East couldn't get any hotter? Bathrooms Are Located in the Seat Pocket in Front of You (AP) 4) When You Gotta Go...James Whipple was flying from Boise to Salt Lake City when he was suddenly struck by a pressing urge on the inner wall of his bladder. Unfortunately for him, the SkyWest Airlines fight attendant refused to let him use the...
By Emil Steiner | March 20, 2007; 08:15 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 19! On this day 76 years ago, gambling was legalized in the state of Nevada. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Explosive Honey PotIt's like Winnie the Pooh's worst nightmare! Kazakh boarder patrol has arrested a Russian citizen for attempting to smuggle a homemade grenade inside a pot of honey. The man denied any knowledge of the improvised explosive device, telling police it had been a gift from his wife to bring to relatives in Kazakhstan. So either he's a terrorist, or his wife's got some serious beef with her family. The finish of a contest in which each player has the same score and the winner is undecided (AP) 4) "What Is A Tie, Alex?"For the first time in its 23 years on television, an episode of "Jeopardy!" ended with a three-way tie. The unprecedented event in game-show history took place on Friday when all three...
By Emil Steiner | March 19, 2007; 07:43 AM ET | Comments (4)
This Week in OFFbeat Crime 3/16/2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. The front-runner this week is Jonathan Zaletel, of Maricopa County, Arizona, who allegedly left his burning meth lab to run over to Wal-Mart and pick up a fire extinguisher. The 19-year-old returned to his condo and was met by police who promptly arrested him. In a close second, we have Joshua W. O'Neil, 32, of Albany, New York, who had the brilliant idea of posting an ad on Craigslist that offered "cocaine to any female who responded." One did, but she happened to be a member of the Nassau County Police Department. Well played! Leading the drunk and disorderly field this week is Heinrich Mueller, of Germany, who "climbed into an emergency postbox for unwanted babies." The 28-year-old, who...
By Emil Steiner | March 16, 2007; 08:01 AM ET | Email a Comment
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 15! On this day 35 years ago "The Godfather" opened in American theaters. Despite Paramount Picture's objections to casting Al Pacino and Marlon Brando and an ongoing threat to fire "third-string" director Francis Ford Coppola, the film went on to become one of the greatest movies in history. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Can Claustrophobia Cause Murder?There have been a number of experiments proving that rats "go crazy" when confined to crowded spaces... here's what can happen to humans: A Russian mother stands accused of hiring a hit-man to whack her son "because she was fed up with sharing her small one-room apartment with him." Arguments within the tiny Moscow flat, which they share with their significant others, had apparently become extremely heated since the 17-year-old son's wife became pregnant. Do they have Jerry Springer in Russia? If this enclosure's a' rockin'... (Peter Dejong - AP)...
By Emil Steiner | March 15, 2007; 08:18 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 14! And a very happy Pi Day to all you number lovers out there! Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) "Journalist" in Hot and Holy WaterGerman free-lancer Hubertus Wiendl was fined $134 for filming three "artists" attempting to steal water from a garden hose belonging to Pope Benedict XVI in a scheme to sell the Papal water on eBay (and they're artists how?). Wiendl's lawyers attempted to call His Holiness to the stand, thinking the Pontiff might encourage a little mercy, but that request was denied. Mmmm... tasty! (AP Larry Fisher) 4) Cooking with 'CoonGood news for Indiana gourmets attending the Hibernia Community Building's annual fundraiser on March 24. After a four-year absence, raccoon is back on the menu! So grab the kids and your appetite, and come on down for a feast of animals who've grown fat on your garbage. It's like a fusion of recycling...
By Emil Steiner | March 14, 2007; 08:13 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 13! On this day 82 years ago, the Tennessee Senate passed the Butler Act, which prohibited teaching evolution in any universities or public schools that received state funding. One senator attempted to attach an amendment to also "prohibit the teaching that the earth is round," but it was ruled out by the speaker. Here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) Chicken Power If you thought a "green fuel" could never turn the stomach of a vegetarian, think again! Umea Energi, of Sweden, has put forward a proposal to "use chicken carcasses from egg farms as fuel for a power-generating furnace." According to a company spokesman, "chickens are just the right size" for their fuel stream. Now that's alternative energy! Bibles, what can't they do? 4) Bible BashingDavid Decker, a street preacher in Athens, Tennessee, was arrested after he allegedly attacked a police officer with his Bible. The 66-year-old...
By Emil Steiner | March 13, 2007; 07:24 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 12! On this day 113 years ago, Coca-Cola was first sold in bottles. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Doggy-Style CPRRandy Gurchin, of Nebraska, saved his English bulldog Lucy's life last week after she tumbled into a freezing pond while chasing geese. The 51-year-old retired Air Force pilot pulled his beloved pet from the water and performed mouth-to-snout resuscitation. After a couple of minutes, Lucy was breathing on her own, and Gurchin transported her to a veterinary clinic where she has since made a full recovery! The Machines Will Rise Again (Robert Zuckerman - Warner Bros) 4) Judgment Day Cometh?As if Arnold Schwarzenegger's rise to power wasn't evidence enough of a forthcoming T2-style Armageddon, on Sunday, Britain's military launched a multi-billion dollar satellite system called Skynet into space. The ominously named orbiting communication hub is a key tool in "information warfare" and, according to officials, will "allow...
By Emil Steiner | March 12, 2007; 09:33 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week in Offbeat Crime 3/9/2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. The front-runner this week is Howard Fisher, of South Carolina, who police say plowed into the back of a state trooper while transporting 43 pounds of marijuana. The 54-year-old's stash had an estimated street value of $150,000. Best excuse ever! When police caught Robert Marsh, of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, breaking into a woman's apartment, the 39-year-old came up with a most novel explanation: He told police he was a shape-shifting werewolf and began ranting in what has been described as some sort of a medieval language. Talk about being caught with your fly down, next up is an unnamed 22-year-old from Sheboygan, Wisconsin, who got nabbed for drug possession after police noticed his zipper was undone and found...
By Emil Steiner | March 9, 2007; 10:28 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 8! On this day 190 years ago, the New York Stock Exchange was founded in a $200 per month rented room at 40 Wall Street. At the time, it was considered a step up from the original trading post under a nearby buttonwood tree. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Carnivorous CowEarlier this week I wrote about a Swiss prohibition on feeding cows cannabis, but in India cows must really have the munchies. Lal, a sacred calf from west Bengal, has been caught sneaking into the hen house and chowing down on chickens with "the precision of a jungle cat." Locals chalk up his carnivorous habits to a "previous birth" in which Lal was most likely a tiger. You Jackass! (Sean Cliver -- Paramount Pictures) 4) They Were Serious When They Said "Don't Try This At Home"Jared W. Anderson, of Au Claire Wisconsin, suffered second-degree burns to...
By Emil Steiner | March 8, 2007; 06:49 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 7! On this day 13 years ago, The United States Supreme Court ruled that parodies of an original work are generally covered by the doctrine of fair use. The precedent setting case "Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music, Inc" involved 2 Live Crew's sampling of Roy Orbison's "Oh, Pretty Woman". Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Irregular "Deposit"From the international nasty file, police in Germany have detained an 18-year-old man who allegedly defecated eight times in an ATM vestibule. Spooning Now Available in Coach! (Getty Images) 4) Overly Friendly SkiesTalk about a black-eye on a red-eye. Samuel Oscar Gonzalez, an employee of Northwest Airlines, was arrested after he allegedly "ejaculated on" a female passenger flying from Seattle to Minneapolis. According to the complaint, the 20-year-old equipment service worker, who was off-duty at the time of the incident, began "spooning" with the victim while she was asleep. He has been...
By Emil Steiner | March 7, 2007; 08:12 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From resurrecting corpses to answering the age-old question of who would win a fight between a helicopter and a drugged up moose, here is your morning dose of Offbeat news!
By Emil Steiner | March 6, 2007; 07:32 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From a head in a DHL box from China to toddlers smoking blunts, here's your Monday dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | March 5, 2007; 07:44 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week in Offbeat Crime 3/2/2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on another stellar Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. The front-runner this week is a teenager who wants to be a cop so bad, he's willing to go to jail for it. Hai Hoang, of St. Petersburg, Florida, was arrested for the second time in as many months for impersonating a police officer. This time, the vigilant 18-year-old allegedly attempted to pull over an "undercover officer in an unmarked car." Next up, we have a trio of stealthy burglars in Brandon, Florida, who allegedly rang the doorbell of the home they were attempting to rob after failing to break in the front door. Nice work guys. Now, most people know the dangers of drunk dialing, but were you aware that stoned texting can be just as hazardous? Take,...
By Emil Steiner | March 2, 2007; 08:17 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to March 1! On this day 38 years ago, Doors front man Jim Morrison was arrested for exposing himself during a performance at Miami's Dinner Key Auditorium. Here's Your Thursday Top Five: 5) Bad Credit? Get Pregnant!You may have heard how car dealerships advertise that your job is your credit, but what about your offspring? Nicole Uribe-Lopez, of Mexico, has been arrested for using her son as a down-payment on a used car. The 5-month-old baby was allegedly given to couple in Colorado for $1,500, of which $500 went toward the purchase of a 2000 Dodge Intrepid. Teaching with Scissors (Photodisc) 4) Don't Wag Your Tongue! When it comes to disciplining unruly students, teachers have a wide variety of punishments in their arsenal, but chopping off tongues is not one of them. According to reports out of Italy, a substitute teacher in Milan held a 7-year-old pupil's tongue with...
By Emil Steiner | March 1, 2007; 08:21 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 28! On this day 486 years ago, the Diet of Worms began in what is now Germany. Lasting more than three months, it involved neither dieting, nor worms. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Stoned on DeliveryTwo buckets of marijuana were sent via Fed-Ex to Fusion jeans boutique in Philadelphia over the weekend. Employees were baffled by the two drug shipments, which totaled 20 pounds with "a street value of about... $90,000," but instead of returning to sender, they called the police. Laptop ctrl-alt-deletes motorist (Maryland State Archives) 4) Fatal Computer Crash Let this be a lesson to motorists who like to multi-task behind the wheel. According to the California Highway Patrol, a 28-year-old computer tutor died because he was paying more attention to his laptop than to the road and slammed into a Hummer. Ironically, his computer survived the collision and was found "still running and...
By Emil Steiner | February 28, 2007; 07:44 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
A special thanks to Michael Corones for handling OFF/beat duties during my absence. After surviving nearly 24 hours snowbound in the Sierras, I feel lucky not to have become a story on this blog. That being said, when white-out conditions forced Interstate 80 to a standstill just miles from Donner Pass, I did catch some pretty bizarre behavior. No, travelers didn't resort to cannibalism, but a group of idiot-wannabes did pull out a toboggan and entertain motorists by sledding down the side of the highway. This wouldn't have been so "extreme" had there not been hundreds of stranded people using the shoulder as a makeshift restroom. Welcome to February 27! On this day 296 years ago, the first Mardi Gras parade took place in what is now Mobile, Alabama. 'Course back then a string of beads probably wouldn't get you much more than a peak under the wig. Here's...
By Emil Steiner | February 27, 2007; 07:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
Friday Breakfast Bender
Emil Steiner is away. In his absence, Opinions Producer and sometimes Celebritologist Michael Corones will be raking through the muck to bring you the best of the bizarre. Welcome to February 23! On this day 80 years ago, the Federal Radio Commission (later renamed the Federal Communication Commission) began regulation of radio air waves, and somehow caused Howard Stern's grandfather to feel an eerie tremor in the force. Here's Your Friday Top Five: 5) ISO: Ticket on the Hell ExpressOn Wednesday, parishioners celebrating Ash Wednesday Mass at a Santa Fe, New Mexico, church were interrupted when three CD players began blaring pornographic recordings. Note to the pranksters: Real hell seems like it would be a lot worse than that Got Milk? ad. But I guess you'll check it out for yourselves. 4) Caused by Cutting Remarks?Two Belgrade surgeons left a patient on the table as they went outside to...
By Michael Corones | February 23, 2007; 08:31 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Emil Steiner is away. In his absence, Opinions Producer and sometimes Celebritologist Michael Corones will be raking through the muck to bring you the best of the bizarre. Welcome to February 21! On this day 70 years ago, the Waterman Arrowbile, the world's first successful flying car, made its maiden test flight. Here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) Mmmm, That's Good WeevilSome inmates in an El Paso County Jail annex were mistakenly and unwittingly served noodles infested with weevils. "We have prepared new meals and are taking extra steps to safeguard that this type of incident doesn't take place again," said Sheriff's Deputy Jimmy Apodaca. Thanks, but you're a day late and a weevil short. 4) The Cost of BeautyMinnesota is considering joining New Jersey as the only states in the union to tax cosmetic surgery. The sponsor of the proposal, Democrat State Representative Phyllis Kahn, reasons that those...
By Michael Corones | February 21, 2007; 08:02 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Emil Steiner is away. In his absence, Opinions Producer and sometimes Celebritologist Michael Corones will be raking through the muck to bring you the best of the bizarre. Welcome to February 20! On this day 38 years ago, the world did not come to an end. The apocalypse predicted by excommunicated Catholic priest and anti-Pope Michael Collin did not arrive. Here's Your Tuesday Top Four: 4) Siesta SocietyStudents at Indiana University started a napping club. Initially created as a joke, the club now has 30-35 members. I belonged to a napping club in high school; its formal name was Mr. Scott's Western Civilization class. 3) Lazy Man: Robot Plows Driveway For three years, a Middleburg, Pa., man has been plowing his driveway by remote control. Bill Lauver plows from the comfort of his living room using a converted golf cart with a plow attachment, much to the chagrin of...
By Michael Corones | February 20, 2007; 12:44 PM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
Emil Steiner is away. In his absence, Opinions Producer and sometimes Celebritologist Michael Corones will be raking through the muck to bring you the best of the bizarre. Welcome to February 19! On this day 25 years ago, singer and future reality show star Ozzy Osborne was arrested and banned from the city of San Antonio for urinating on The Alamo while dressed as a woman. Here's Your Monday Top Five: 5) Life in the Fast LaneIn a story that would make The Eagles proud, a woman was given a ticket for holding up traffic after Israeli police found her and a lover having sex in a car parked in the fast lane. With cars swerving to avoid an accident, she just missed being terminally pretty. 4) Booze Trumps Brain An Australian man who caught a four-foot bronze whaler shark with his bare hands credited vodka for the feat....
By Michael Corones | February 19, 2007; 08:17 AM ET | Email a Comment
Off Beatin'
Vacation, Have To Get Away Hammock Time! I'm heading out to the west coast in search of the strange and funny. In the meantime, Opinions Producer and sometime Celebritologist Michael Corones will be writing the OFF/beat. Happy President's Day! Emil...
By Emil Steiner | February 18, 2007; 10:41 PM ET | Comments (1)
This Week in Offbeat Crime 2/16/2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on a banner Week in OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. First up, we have an unnamed 31-year-old hot air balloon thief, from England, who got caught when he tried to sell the contraption, complete with a basket, on eBay. While it's admirable he made off with such a bulky score, perhaps next time he could try fencing the merchandise in a less public venue. Next up, we have Nakia Davis, of Danbury, Connecticut, whose attempt to bail himself out after a drug bust landed him in double jeopardy. The 32-year-old called his aunt and asked her to bring his safe to the station so he could pay bond. Upon opening it, however, he found not just "cash for bail, but also drug paraphernalia and 16 grams of cocaine." Following...
By Emil Steiner | February 16, 2007; 07:51 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 15! On this day 2,406 years ago, Greek philosopher Socrates was sentenced to death for "corrupting the youth." Here's Your Thursday Top Six: 6) Potty Mouthing BackUrinals don't let friends drive drunk -- at least not in New Mexico. The Land of Enchantment has ordered 500 talking urinal cakes that "deliver a recorded anti-DWI message" to patrons taking that last pit stop before heading home. I don't know about you, but if a toilet started talking to me, I'd listen. 5) Criminal ProgenyWhat's the best way for a politician to gain "street cred" in the Land Down Under? Just do what Prime Minister John Howard did, and discover you come from a family of criminals. It turns out the 67-year-old conservative is "descended from convicted thieves through both his father and mother," which, according to reports, is "the equivalent of royalty" for Aussies. Rob Moodie, aka Miss...
By Emil Steiner | February 15, 2007; 07:47 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 14! On this day 328 years ago, Captain James Cook was killed by natives of the Sandwich Islands (Hawaii) who held him in such high esteem that they cooked and possibly ate his flesh. Here's Your Valentine's Day Top Six: 6) Bangkok-BlockCupid may find himself out of work today in Thailand. Despite its reputation as the sex tourism capital of the world, Bangkok police are cracking down on young love after a recent poll found that one-third of girls think St. Valentine's Day "is an excellent time to lose their virginity." Teenagers caught kissing in public will be given warnings and their parents will be notified. 5) A Cut Below the RestGuys, why say "I love you" this Valentine's Day with boring flowers or chocolates, when you can give that special someone a gift that's permanent and life-changing -- like a vasectomy? Marie Stopes International, a sexual...
By Emil Steiner | February 14, 2007; 07:47 AM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 13! On this day 465 years ago, Catherine Howard, the fifth wife of Henry VIII, of England, was executed for adultery. Here's Your Tuesday Top Seven: 7) Stem Cells Go BustFinally, stem cell research that everyone can agree on. Japanese scientists are now claiming they can use those controversial building blocks of life to increase the size of women's breasts. Dr. Kotaro Yoshimura, of the Tokyo University medical school, has developed a technique that takes fat off a patient's "stomach or thigh," mixes it with stem cells and then injects the "slurry" around her breasts. The results are apparently softer, more natural bosoms than silicon implants offer, with fewer risks. Is it too early to declare 2007's Person of the Year? 6) Crime of ChocolateTeun van de Keuken, a Dutch journalist, has asked a court in Amsterdam to convict him for eating chocolate. He contends that by...
By Emil Steiner | February 13, 2007; 07:55 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 12! On this day 17 years ago, the "best selling video game" of all time, Super Mario Bros. 3, was released in America. Here's Your Monday Top Six: 6) Art-On-Art ViolenceA French court has reduced the fine against Pierre Pinoncelli, a "performance artist" who attacked a Dada- era urinal sculpture with a hammer. The 77-year-old claimed that his assault on Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain" wasn't vandalism, but, in fact, a nod of solidarity for the early 20th-century art movement, which encouraged spectators to play an active role in the creative process. This isn't the first time Pinoncelli has "involved himself in the creative process" though. About 14 years ago, he urinated on "Fountain" during an exhibition in southern France. 5) Dead Pets Are a Girl's Best Friend?Sue Rogers, of England, has found a way to keep her recently deceased dog, Lucky, close at hand. For just over $6,200,...
By Emil Steiner | February 12, 2007; 07:44 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In Offbeat Crime 02/09/2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again, and we're looking back on pretty decent Week In OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. First up, we have a Japanese man who decided to steal a police car left idling outside of a post office north of Tokyo. Apparently "he was too tired to walk home." At least he didn't have to walk to jail when police arrested him 15 minutes later at his house. Next up, we have a daring thief from Croatia who lifted the wallets and mobile phones of three Supreme Court Justices during his hearing. The suspect got away by asking to leave court early because of a "headache," and the judges didn't realize they'd been robbed until a recess. Wonder how they'll rule on his case? Also out of Croatia, we have the delightful tale of Vladimir Mesic,...
By Emil Steiner | February 9, 2007; 07:57 AM ET | Comments (1)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 8! On this day 315 years ago, the Salem Witch Trials kicked off after a doctor in the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared three teenaged girls to be under the domination of Satan. Here's Your Thursday Top Six: 6) Nude Skier ChargedBrattleboro, Vermont made headlines last summer when flocks of naked students paraded around downtown. Now, thanks to global warming or possible marijuana intoxication, William N. Barrett III stands accused of riding a nearby chairlift naked. According to a witness, the 46-year-old from Albany was spotted in the buff on a gondola at Stratton Mountain Ski Resort "touching himself inappropriately." 5) Worst Holiday Ever?In preparation for the 2008 Olympic Games, Beijing is introducing "Voluntary Lining Up Day" on the 11th of every month in order to promote polite ways of queuing and to improve manners. Organizers are hoping to mobilize the population and ensure that where there are...
By Emil Steiner | February 8, 2007; 07:59 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 7! On this day 17 years ago, The Soviet Union collapsed after the Communist Party Central Committee gave up its monopoly on power. On that revolutionary note, here's Your Wednesday Top Five: 5) The Cold, Silent TypeApparently sexual abuse isn't just for the living. Police in Australia are investigating whether bodies donated to New South Wales University for medical research have been "interfered with sexually." The University has not yet contacted family members as it is still trying to figure out which cadavers were molested. 4) Women Want Clothes More Than SexAccording to a new poll, 61 percent of American women said "it would be worse to lose their favorite article of clothing than give up sex for a month." The findings also show that, on average, the fairer sex would gladly abstain from intercourse for 15 months in exchange for a brand new wardrobe. It should...
By Emil Steiner | February 7, 2007; 07:57 AM ET | Comments (3)
Astronauts Gone Wild
Out of this world love triangle lands astronaut in jail.
By Emil Steiner | February 6, 2007; 02:01 PM ET | Comments (35)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 6! On this day 36 years ago, Apollo 14 astronaut Alan Shepard became the first person to hit a golf ball on the moon. Here's Your Tuesday Top Six: 6) Born GamblerOver its 28-year history, people have died on the floor of Resorts Casino in Atlantic City, but until last weekend no had ever been born there. That all changed Saturday night when Nyree Thompson went into labor around 9:30 a.m. while playing penny slots. At first, the 33-year-old mistook her "labor pains for gas," but then her water broke, and she hit the maternal jackpot! 5) Prison Rejects ConvictFrom the Irony Defined File, Hakim Ghazouani, an escaped Belgian convict, attempted to return to prison, but was denied entry by guards "because he had no identity card." The 24-year-old had been persuaded by his lawyer to turn himself in, but when he got there, the warden told...
By Emil Steiner | February 6, 2007; 07:50 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 5! On this day nineteen years ago, Panamanian General Manuel Noriega was indicted on drug smuggling and money laundering charges. Here's Your Post-Super Bowl Top Six: 6) What a Wookie!Chewbacca impersonator Frederick Evan Young was arrested after allegedly head-butting a tour guide operator outside of Grauman's Chinese Theater, in Hollywood. The 44-year-old had reportedly been ordered to stop harassing tourists when he yelled, "nobody tells this wookie what to do!" As one lieutenant on the scene glibly pointed out "you can have the force with you. You just can't use illegal force." 5) Sunday Naked Sunday!Do you ever mentally undress people at your gym? Well, a Dutch fitness center has taken the logical next step by creating "Naked Sunday" for folks who like to "huff and puff in the buff." Fitworld is, however, requiring nude exercisers to use disposable seat covers while riding bikes (talk about prudish)....
By Emil Steiner | February 5, 2007; 08:08 AM ET | Comments (3)
This Week In OFFbeat Crime 02-02-2007
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) It's Friday again and we're looking back on another stellar Week In OFF/beat Crime. Here are your nominees for the ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. The frontrunner this week is Trevor Doyle, of Ireland, who boosted a car to get back to jail after missing his deadline on a weekend furlough. The 25-year-old fell asleep on a bus ride back to the big house and woke up to discover he'd gone past his stop. For his efforts, he was given an extra six months suspended sentence. Next up we have Joshua Kay, of Wisconsin, who was arrested after attempting to pull over an off-duty police officer while a driving Honda Civic. The 28-year-old used a flashing red light and a siren to impersonate a police officer. It didn't work. But as with all acts of genius, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, which...
By Emil Steiner | February 2, 2007; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to February 1! On this day three years ago, Janet Jackson showed millions of Americans her nipple during the half-time show of Super Bowl XXXVIII in what Justin Timberlake characterized as a "wardrobe malfunction." Here's Your Thursday Top Six: 6) Anti-Stoning Rules Rile ImmigrantsIs it xenophobia or a lesson in customs? City councilors in Herouxville, Quebec, have laid out a list of "standards" for new Immigrants, which include instructions like "killing women in public beatings, or burning them alive are not part of our standards of life." You know, just in case you were planning something like that. 5) France To Study NappingAs if a 35-hour work week wasn't enough, France's health minister is now planning to investigate whether workers should be allowed to sleep on the job. The government will also spend nine million this year alone "to improve public awareness about sleeping troubles." Bon Soir. 4) Fiery...
By Emil Steiner | February 1, 2007; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (1)
Herpes Outbreak Slams Minnesota High School Wrestling
Teams Grapple Microscopic Organism And Lose What Burns Worse Than Mat Burns? (AP) A widespread herpes outbreak has forced the suspension of high school wrestling in Minnesota. (Could Ron Mexico have been passing through?) On Tuesday, the State High School League "banned competitions and direct contact between wrestlers in practice until Feb. 6," and they may want to avoid touching each other off of the mat, too. North Dakota teams will continue their seasons while remaining vigilant for signs of the merciless skin infection.This is the worst known sports pandemic to hit the Gopher State since a mass infection in 1999 pinned 63 athletes. To date, at least 24 wrestlers have caught herpes gladiatorum (gladiator herpes?), which is spread through skin-on-skin contact. According to experts and commonsense, wrestlers are at higher risk for contracting this virus, which can remain in the body for life. Typical symptoms include face, head and...
By Emil Steiner | January 31, 2007; 12:21 PM ET | Comments (14)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to January 31! On this day 17 years ago, over 5,000 hungry patrons gathered in the chilly predawn air of Pushkin Square for the grand opening of Russia's first McDonald's restaurant... "Capitalism, I'm lovin' it!" Here's Your Wednesday Top Six: 6) Underwear Rage InfernoIvo Jerbic, of Croatia, was so angry when he couldn't find a pair of clean underpants that he decided to toss his clothes in the garden and lite them on fire. As the 55-year-old later explained to police, "my wife never throws anything out, I just lost my temper." Unfortunately for him, the sartorial pyre spread to his house, which then caught fire and burnt to the ground. If only he had heard of the undergraduate inside-outside-front-and-back technique, perhaps this tragedy could have been avoided. 5) System Victimizes Rape SurvivorPolice in Tampa arrested at 21-year-old rape victim en route to a nurse examiner's clinic because they...
By Emil Steiner | January 31, 2007; 07:51 AM ET | Comments (2)
Breaking News: Greasy Streaker Gets Shocked
Newest Nominee Taylor Killian Exemplifies The Essence This Award Stupidest Senior Prank Ever?It took two Taser blasts for police to stop an Ohio high school senior streaking his cafeteria, Monday. That's because Taylor Killian had coated himself in grapeseed oil before running through Westerville North High School "screaming and flailing his arms." When an administrator ordered him to stop, the shaggy haired 18-year-old "made a sexual gesture and kept running." The lunch period monitor, Officer Doug Staysniak, then zapped Killian who fell to the ground but somehow managed to get back up and continue freaking out fellow pupils with his berserk gyrations. A second blast eventually felled the greasy prankster who has been charged with "inducing panic, public indecency, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct." However, his Groundskeeper Willie antics also earn him an automatic nomination in Off/beat's Idiot of the Year Awards....
By Emil Steiner | January 30, 2007; 02:22 PM ET | Comments (25)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to January 30! On this day 346 years ago, the body of Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England, was exhumed and subjected to the ritual of a posthumous execution. After decapitation, the disinterred corpse was thrown into a pit, while his severed head was displayed on a pole outside of Westminster Abbey for about 25 years. On that pleasant note, here's Your Tuesday Top Five: 5) No Ticket!British Airways stowaway found DOA. A pilot at Los Angeles International Airport was conducting a routine inspection when he discovered the body of a 17 or 18-year-old South African male in the front, right wheel well of a 747-400. The FBI has determined that the young man froze to death during the 10-hour flight from London. 4) Brace YourselfOrthodontists beware! According to a new study out of England, straightening kid's teeth with braces "may improve their smile but it is no guarantee...
By Emil Steiner | January 30, 2007; 07:41 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to January 29! Approximately three years ago today, a 60-foot sperm whale exploded on a busy street in Taiwan, showering cars and people with blood and internal organs. On that appetizing note, here's Your Monday Top Six: 6) Sweden Gets A Second LifeSweden has announced plans to become the first country to establish an embassy in the online world of Second Life. For those unfamiliar, Second Life is an online fantasy world inhabited by some three million alter-ego residents with a fully functioning economy, culture and a thriving sex trade. Sweden's virtual diplomatic headquarters will serve "as an information portal for" users seeking documents in the real world. 5) Firefighting Arsonist Paul Joseph Sloan, a former firefighter from North Charleston, South Carolina, was fined $200 after he and a girlfriend had sex in an unfinished house. The 26-year-old responded by allegedly setting fire to the structure, and he is...
By Emil Steiner | January 29, 2007; 07:49 AM ET | Comments (3)
This Week In Offbeat Crime 1-26-2007
From pot-baking arsonist to drunken attacks on shrubbery, we proudly present This Week in OFF/beat Crime.
By Emil Steiner | January 26, 2007; 08:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From a shark poaching pastor to drunk airport driving here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 25, 2007; 08:04 AM ET | Comments (1)
Italian Chicken?
Did Rocky Duck Mike Tyson? I must break you! (Jonathan Newton - The Washington Post) Who's afraid to get in the ring with Iron Mike? Okay, almost everyone on earth, but according to reports even the Italian Stallion got cold hoofs when the world's most famous ear-biter volunteered for the sixth installment of Rocky. Sylvester Stallone was quoted as saying: "I know I'm not that young, but I'm still too young to die." Instead, he chose light heavyweight champion Antonio Tarver for the role of Mason Dixon.Apparently, Tyson didn't get the message though, because he kept calling Stallone, begging to fight him in the movie. The 60-year-old actor, possibly out of kindness or more likely fear of the man he called "a killer," relented, agreeing to allow him to sit in the audience during the fight scenes. Seemingly satiated, Tyson was never heard from again until shooting started when he...
By Emil Steiner | January 24, 2007; 11:03 AM ET | Comments (7)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From glue-chewing dogs to Lake Erie bathroom spills, here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 24, 2007; 07:54 AM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From doggy beer to prostitute fashion collections, here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 23, 2007; 07:57 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
From super-model tutors, to mailing dog poop to Congress, here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 22, 2007; 07:49 AM ET | Email a Comment
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From house cleaning chimps to Tennessee's "crack tax," here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 18, 2007; 08:08 AM ET | Comments (2)
English Samurai Saves Police
A mysterious vigilante with a samurai sword rescued two police officers from a gang of toughs in South Shields, England.
By Emil Steiner | January 17, 2007; 10:58 AM ET | Comments (8)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From Amsterdam's prostitute memorial to an obese panda who lose his mates, here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 17, 2007; 07:54 AM ET | Comments (3)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From the hemp farming Republican to the science of procrastination, here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 16, 2007; 07:54 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime 01-12-07
From cake-drunk burglars to urinal thieves, we proudly present This Week in OFF/beat Crime.
By Emil Steiner | January 12, 2007; 07:45 AM ET | Comments (3)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From drunken postal worker rampages to Count Dracula's Castle listing, here's your morning dose of offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 11, 2007; 07:37 AM ET | Comments (1)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From refs with foot fetishes to NASA going metric, here's your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 10, 2007; 07:02 AM ET | Comments (3)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From bullet-proof bras to cellmate cannibals, here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 9, 2007; 07:57 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
From urinal thieves to the Disney World smack-down, here's your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 8, 2007; 07:55 AM ET | Email a Comment
This Week In OFF/beat Crime 01-05-07
From catnapping cat burglars to a woman using her dog to purchase Vicodin, we proudly present This Week in OFF/beat Crime.
By Emil Steiner | January 5, 2007; 08:04 AM ET | Email a Comment
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From garbage compactor rescues to riding crocodiles, here's your morning dose of Offbeat news!
By Emil Steiner | January 4, 2007; 08:16 AM ET | Comments (3)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From binge-drinking Brits to Pat Robertson's rosy forecast for 2007, here is your morning dose of Offbeat news.
By Emil Steiner | January 3, 2007; 07:51 AM ET | Comments (2)
OFF/beat's Oddest Hangover Cures
With New Year's Eve less than 72 hours away, OFF/beat has decided to fulfill its civic duty by compiling a list of the more bizarre cures for January 1st Syndrome.
By Emil Steiner | December 28, 2006; 12:13 PM ET | Comments (7)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From prison cell flatulence to Japanese noise assault, here's your breakfast batch of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 28, 2006; 08:08 AM ET | Email a Comment
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From Festivus Poles to ambulance chasers, here's your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 27, 2006; 07:45 AM ET | Comments (4)
Idiot Of The Year Awards
The Idiot of the Year is...
By Emil Steiner | December 22, 2006; 06:35 PM ET | Comments (506)
Friday Breakfast Bender
From immaculately conceived Komodo dragons to ax wielding farmers depriving cows of sunlight, here's your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 22, 2006; 08:22 AM ET | Email a Comment
Lunchtime Wrap
The weekend's so close, you can taste it! So to get you through the final few hours, we offer up a lunchtime wrap of today's OFF/beat News. And don't forget to flex your democratic muscles by voting for "Idiot of the Year". Ballots available below. Has Santa Gone Gangsta? 4) Infantile SecurityToday's complex airport security rules often baffle travelers. One woman at LAX was so confused she actually put her one-month-old grandson in a plastic tray and sent him through the X-ray machine. 3) The Pooping Peasant Most people would call the cops if they saw a man popping a squat behind the manger in a nativity scene, but in northeastern Spain they put him on their mantelpieces. "El Caganer" (the great defecator), has become an increasingly popular collectible in the Catalonia region, where "for centuries symbols of defecation have played an important role in Christmas festivities." Is that a...
By Emil Steiner | December 21, 2006; 12:29 PM ET | Comments (5)
Idiot of the Year Ballot Group D
In the run-up to Friday's Idiot of the Year Award unveiling, OFF/beat is honoring the top nominees with a little segment we call "Profiles In Stupid". This is your opportunity to look back on the more stellar performances and vote on your favorites.
By Emil Steiner | December 20, 2006; 01:59 PM ET | Comments (8)
Idiot of the Year Ballot Group C
In the run-up to Friday's Idiot of the Year Award unveiling, OFF/beat is honoring the top nominees with a little segment we call "Profiles In Stupid". This is your opportunity to look back on the more stellar performances and vote on your favorites.
By Emil Steiner | December 20, 2006; 01:48 PM ET | Comments (4)
Idiot of the Year Ballot Group B
In the run-up to Friday's Idiot of the Year Award unveiling, OFF/beat is honoring the top nominees with a little segment we call "Profiles In Stupid". This is your opportunity to look back on the more stellar performances and vote on your favorites.
By Emil Steiner | December 20, 2006; 01:45 PM ET | Comments (4)
Idiot of the Year Ballot Group A
In the run-up to Friday's Idiot of the Year Award unveiling, OFF/beat is honoring the top nominees with a little segment we call "Profiles In Stupid". This is your opportunity to look back on the more stellar performances and vote on your favorites.
By Emil Steiner | December 20, 2006; 09:43 AM ET | Comments (4)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
Welcome to December 20! Here's Your Hump Day Top Four: Could this be the best way to cut congressional salary hikes? (Timothy Jacobsen) 4)Miraculous Head Wound Part OneBrain damage turns pious Brit into sex fiend. Stephen Tame (yes, that's his name) was a church-going Christian with a modest sex drive until an on-the-job head injury sent him into a coma. When he awoke, his libido went into overdrive, and his wife just wasn't enough. The once tame 29-year-old began seeing prostitutes and buying porn, which led to the destruction of his marriage. As a result, a judge has awarded him $5.71 million. Hmmm... A young, sexual dynamo with six million in the bank and history of comas -- think he'll have trouble finding a new wife? 3) Whack Crack In an early bid for the 2007 Stupidest Criminal Awards, Eloise D. Reaves, of North Carolina, walked up to a police...
By Emil Steiner | December 20, 2006; 07:37 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From Disney dissing Santa to mass canine weddings in India, here is your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 19, 2006; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From animal sexual abuse to warning labels on plus-sized clothing, here's your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 18, 2006; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime 12/15/06
From baby formula theives to tuber-abusers, we proudly present This Week in OFF/beat Crime
By Emil Steiner | December 15, 2006; 07:40 AM ET | Email a Comment
When It Comes To Defamation, Size Matters
Has author Michael Crichton Hit Below The Belt?
By Emil Steiner | December 14, 2006; 05:50 PM ET | Comments (7)
Thursday Breakfast Bender
From snakes in a drain to Turkish camel sacrifices, here's your morning dose of OFF/beat news for Thursday, December 14th.
By Emil Steiner | December 14, 2006; 07:42 AM ET | Comments (2)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From naked 911 calls to Boston selling City Hall, here's your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 13, 2006; 08:07 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From stupidest criminals to reindeer hot dogs, here's your morning dose of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | December 12, 2006; 07:25 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
From gubernatorial ghosts to monkeys overrunning India's capital, here are your top five OFF/beat stories for Monday.
By Emil Steiner | December 11, 2006; 07:50 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
From electrocuted urination to wolf-poisoning zealots, here's a wrap-up of This Week In OFF/beat Crime!
By Emil Steiner | December 8, 2006; 08:13 AM ET | Comments (4)
Flatulent Flyer Grounds Jet
Female flyer attempts to mask flatulence with lit matches, ends up forcing emergency landing.
By Emil Steiner | December 6, 2006; 01:53 PM ET | Comments (11)
Welfare Granny Sells Pot And Plays Bingo
Granny convicted of drug running after troopers find 214 pounds of weed in her trunk. Proceeds may have gone to her "bingo problem."
By Emil Steiner | December 5, 2006; 12:12 PM ET | Comments (2)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From counterfeit lard dealers to Bollywood's kissing scandal, here are your OFF/beat headlines for Tuesday.
By Emil Steiner | December 5, 2006; 08:25 AM ET | Comments (1)
Monday Breakfast Bender
From saucy STDs to spray on condoms, here is your Monday TOP 5 OFF/beat headlines.
By Emil Steiner | December 4, 2006; 08:23 AM ET | Comments (1)
China's No-Flush Airline
Airline amenities go down the toilet without a flush.
By Emil Steiner | December 1, 2006; 11:44 AM ET | Comments (4)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) Heading into Friday, we're looking back on another stellar week for OFF/beat crime. Here are the nominees thus far in our ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. Smokin' in the Courtroom! First up is Devin K. Hoerauf, of Rockville, Maryland, who not only brought a bag of weed with him to his robbery trial, but also managed to drop it on the floor when he stood up at the defense table. In the words of his own mother, "his brain is glued together with Silly Putty." Worst excuse EVER... Charles Sibindana, of South Africa, has been fined $140.00 by a local court for forging a gynecologist's certificate, attesting he was pregnant. The 27-year-old male had duped his employer into a week off of work, apparently unaware that, with the exception of theCalifornia Governor, only women can become pregnant. Next up, we have two part-time employees...
By Emil Steiner | December 1, 2006; 08:51 AM ET | Email a Comment
Fifteen Worst Excuses For Missing Work
According to a recent study by CareerBuilder.com, 32 percent of employees called in sick with fake excuses last year. Here are the strangest.
By Emil Steiner | November 30, 2006; 08:38 AM ET | Comments (10)
"Feminist" Doc Confirms Gender Stereotypes
In her new book, The Female Brain, clinical psychiatrist and self-titled feminist Dr. Louann Brizendine uses science to prove what stand-up comics have been telling us for years: Women talk too much, and men only think about sex.
By Emil Steiner | November 29, 2006; 11:41 AM ET | Comments (5)
Wednesday Breakfast Bender
From stampeding boars to peg-legged drivers, here are your top five hump day headlines!
By Emil Steiner | November 29, 2006; 08:15 AM ET | Comments (1)
Tuesday Breakfast Bender
From the world's largest joint to the world's longest arm hair, here are your top five OFF/beat stories for Tuesday.
By Emil Steiner | November 28, 2006; 08:35 AM ET | Email a Comment
Monday Breakfast Bender
After four drowsy days of tryptophan, here are your top five eye-opening stories: Poor hygiene results in stabbing 5) Sacrificial hams? PETA accuses an Alaskan church of subjecting animals "to cruel treatment and danger" during a "living" nativity scene re-enactment. The only problem: First Free Methodist Church of Anchorage has an all human cast who dresses in animal costumes and endures the often sub-Arctic manger conditions. 4) Bogus bug breeders busted! The Donghua Ecological Breeding Company of northern China allegedly bilks $379 million from marks by promising 35-60% returns on a phony ant breeding operation. It remains unclear exactly why so many people thought they could diversify their portfolios with insects, though some traditional Chinese remedies do use black ants as ingredients. 3) Homicidal Hygiene. Eric Jennings Kisiah stands accused of stabbing a fellow customer at Tumbleweeds sports bar in Fort Worth, Texas for not washing his hands after using...
By Emil Steiner | November 27, 2006; 08:08 AM ET | Comments (2)
OFF/beat Off the Clock
In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, I'll be gathering OFF/beat stories in foreign lands. During that time, OFF/beat will be running a number of stories discovered in the archives from earlier this year. In addition, our Strange News corespondent, Michael Corones will cover breaking oddities as they arise....
By Emil Steiner | November 19, 2006; 07:32 AM ET | Comments (2)
Michigan vs Ohio State & eBay vs Charity
Charity, you won't find "it" on eBay Have eBay's strict fundraising policies gone too far? (By Sergio Dionisio -- Associated Press) So, it's OK to scalp tickets on eBay for personal profit but once you announce that the money is going to a "good cause" they'll shut you down? According to reports, Kristie Sigler and her husband, Ken were trying to sell two tickets to this weekend's much anticipated Michigan-Ohio State game in order to raise money to adopt a boy from Guatemala (Madonna must have been busy). The couple says eBay shut down their sale without so much as a call or an e-mail, because it violated the company's prohibition on charitable auctions. Although eBay has these rules "because charitable fundraising is a highly regulated area subject to numerous state and federal laws," were the Siglers actually doing charity fundraising? If they had said the proceeds would be spent...
By Emil Steiner | November 18, 2006; 01:30 AM ET | Comments (6)
This Week in OFF/beat Crime
What do $700,000 worth of avocados and shooting yourself in the groin have in common? They're both a part of "This Week In OFF/beat Crime".
By Emil Steiner | November 17, 2006; 11:24 AM ET | Comments (2)
Breakfast Bender
Welcome to Friday Eve! Here's the latest in OFF/beat news: Could global warming open new markets for bear-related sleep aids? (By James Peaco -- Yellowstone National Park via Associated Press) Ozone holes are one thing, but has climate change created insomniac bears? According to reports, this fall has been so unseasonably warm that sleepless Siberian bears are terrorizing locals instead of hibernating. Can you say Ambien, Yogi? How much could one little four-letter word cost you? Try $6,423. That's how much a Singapore court fined Australian Riccardo Paulin, for asking a flight attendant on board SilkAir "where do you keep the bomb?" He must have missed "Meet the Parents". A group of dirty, old men have been stripped of the exotic dancers they enjoy! Wisconsin police busted a gathering of the International Order of Old Bastards, Monday night, because the elderly organizers had no permit for the strippers performing...
By Emil Steiner | November 16, 2006; 08:26 AM ET | Comments (4)
Breakfast Bender
Here are your hump day headlines: Got Camel's Milk? (TONY KARUMBA/AFP/Getty Images) A teenage motorist in Australia allegedly threatened police with a live snake after he was pulled over and blew a 0.131 BAC. When officers ordered him to drop the "weapon," he abandoned his car and disappeared, serpent in hand, into the bush. I've already reported on the sexual benefits of drinking camel's milk, but now the Food and Agriculture Organization is launching a project to market the low-calorie, high-vitamin beverage to tourist hotels across India in an effort to boost the declining fortunes of camel breeders. It used to be that college professors had to pull down the shades if they wanted to get high. Now, two academics in Toronto have not only been granted the right to smoke marijuana on campus, they've actually been given their own specially ventilated rooms. That's one way to get your...
By Emil Steiner | November 15, 2006; 08:34 AM ET | Comments (5)
"Borat" Star Sues Over Embarrassing Performance
Frat boy sues "Borat" creator Sasha Baron Cohen after his drunken display causes him humiliation, mental anguish and distress!
By Emil Steiner | November 14, 2006; 02:36 PM ET | Comments (5)
Breakfast Bender
Welcome to Tuesday! If you haven't voted yet, it might be too late. Here's your morning dose of OFF/beat news: Panda porn, gets bears in the mood. Porn, it's not just for humans anymore. The project manager at Thailand's Chiang Mai Zoo is hoping a little video bestiality will get two celibate panda bears in the mood for love. Forget Cristal, this season it's all about the High Life... Miller High Life. With their customer base shrinking faster than the head in a freshly poured glass, Miller Brewing Company has launched a new ad campaign hyping the "Champagne of Beers" to upwardly mobile aficionados looking to savor lower-priced brew. How long can it be 'till Martha Stewart becomes the spokesperson for Johnsonville Brats? Looking for another reason to get your flu shot this year? According to the FDA, Tamilflu has been associated with more than 100 new cases of...
By Emil Steiner | November 14, 2006; 08:27 AM ET | Comments (3)
Breakfast Bender
Welcome to Monday, yet again... Here are your headlines. Could Seattle overtake Las Vegas as our nation's lap dance capital? (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson) Leading off, we have a shooting story that makes Tupac and 50's seem weak. Patricia Goncalves Pereira, of Brazil, was released from the hospital Saturday, a day after being shot in the head six times with a .32, following a fight with her ex-husband. Could this be the end of Vegas lap dances? Nevada's Supreme Court has ruled that local regulations preventing "raunchy physical contact" between exotic dancers and customers do not violate First Amendment rights. The ruling is similar to that of a 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals from 2005, which upheld a California regulation requiring at least two feet of separation. Conversely, Seattle voters rejected a measure Tuesday requiring strippers to stay at least four feet from patrons, though it remains unclear if...
By Emil Steiner | November 13, 2006; 08:27 AM ET | Comments (1)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
What do golf cart DUIs and ostrich assassins have in common? There both a part of "This Week In OFF/beat Crime"
By Emil Steiner | November 10, 2006; 11:37 PM ET | Comments (4)
Breakfast Bender
From an attack of giant ravenous snails to the cuddliest Ebola virus you've ever seen, here's your breakfast batch of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | November 9, 2006; 08:12 AM ET | Comments (2)
Breakfast Bender
These hips won't lie, under oath. (Luis Romero - AP) Congratulations, it's the second Wednesday after the first Tuesday in November, which means your TV airways will once again be filled with honest, high quality advertising! Here's what's happening outside of the election:Who says people should walk upright? A new PBS documentary called "The Family that Walks on All Fours" examines an impoverished and ostracized family of Kurdish "handwalkers" living in Turkey. You gotta love Public Television. A German woman's suicide attempt went terribly wrong, Tuesday, when spectators encouraging the 21-year-old to jump began brawling with a group of homeless people trying to protect her. Beyond the absurdity of the situation, what does this say about Germany's welfare state if transients are the ones discouraging suicide? Duct tape, what can't it do? Well, according to a new study, it can't cure Planter's warts. The age-old dermatologist trick was proved...
By Emil Steiner | November 8, 2006; 08:27 AM ET | Comments (2)
Breakfast Bender
From China's obesity to Imelda Marcos's new fashion line, here's your election day update of OFF/beat news!
By Emil Steiner | November 7, 2006; 10:15 AM ET | Comments (5)
Breakfast Bender
Welcome to Monday, again... from pot-laced meatballs to Waffle House brawls here's what's happening in OFF/beat news. According to a new survey this is the closest thing to intimate contact most people will have on election night. (2003 Photo Don Wright -- AP) Leading off we have John Sheehan of Pittsburg, California, who was arrested while naked and charged with possessing a concealed weapon (think about it). The 33-year-old who had been paroled last week, was found masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station. When asked whether he was carrying anything "police should know about," Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape from his rectum.And while we're on the subject of nudity, a naked feuding couple (possibly inspired by Borat) spilled out of their Tennessee motel room and into an adjacent Waffle House restaurant, Friday. (Wasn't this covered in "Ladykillers"?)Speaking...
By Emil Steiner | November 6, 2006; 08:31 AM ET | Comments (2)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
Tommy Vercetti they ain't. (Rockstar Games) Heading into Friday, we're looking back on another stellar week for OFF/beat crime. Here are the nominees thus far in our ever-popular Stupidest Criminal Award. First up is a careless German thief who didn't just leave his fingerprints at the scene of the crime, he actually left the end of his finger. Police in the central town of Hildesheim had little trouble matching the tip with prints from a 15-year-old Iraqi boy, who at first tried to deny breaking in, but later confessed when police showed him his digit. Does daddy really know best? Alfredo Martinez of Nevada was wise enough to realize he was too drunk to drive Monday night, but his designated driver choice left something to be desired. Reno police pulled over the 37-year-old's vehicle only to discover Martinez in the passenger seat, and his seven-year-old son behind the wheel....
By Emil Steiner | November 3, 2006; 02:03 PM ET | Comments (4)
Top 10 OFF/beat Gifts
He's making a list, and so am I... With Black Friday less than one month away, I've compiled a preliminary list of the 10 strangest products for this Holiday season. Please feel free to add your own or send samples to offbeat@washingtonpost.com. The best entries will appear on OFF/beat's Ultimate Wish List, released December 1st! 10) For equal opportunity fans of the Wonderbra, aussieBum proudly presents the Wonderjock -- perfect for the guy in your life who wants a boost of confidence without popping pills! 9) Got $1.764 million in your pocket? If so you and five friends can charter a ride on Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic -- if it ever manages to blast off. 8) Know someone who's always wanted their own bar but never quite pulled it off? In 10 minutes you can make their dreams come true with Airquee's 40x19x22 foot inflatable British pub. The...
By Emil Steiner | November 2, 2006; 05:02 PM ET | Comments (2)
Breakfast Bender
Welcome to Thursday -- think of it as Friday Eve. Here are your headlines: Forget the rabid dogs, Pennsylvania postal worker Barb Dougherty says she was attacked and bitten by a crazed squirrel while delivering her mail on Monday.Too lazy to make your pilgrimage? No problem, because now you can just "rent a pilgrim." For the low, low price of $3,169, Pilgrim Gil will make the journey for you, and not even God'll know the difference (results may vary)! Topping a long list of bad Halloween costume choices this year is ex-con Oscar Aponte of White Plains, New York. The former prisoner's decision to take his daughter trick-or-treating while wearing his old orange jumpsuit resulted in Westchester County Jail being locked down after an off-duty guard saw him and reported a prison break. If you think trusting your investments to Richard Linklater-looking cartoons repping a company that goes by Chuck...
By Emil Steiner | November 2, 2006; 08:32 AM ET | Comments (7)
Breakfast Bender
From modern day witch trials, to 3,300 pound rubber band balls, here's your Breakfast Bender of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 31, 2006; 09:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Fertility Phones
In the future, opportunity won't knock, it'll ring. Not available on these handsets (By Jae C. Hong -- Associated Press) Mating calls have gone high-tech with Japanese phone maker NTT DoCoMo offering a mobile that can ring when women reach the most fertile part of their monthly cycles. The 9437.T handsets come with a button on the side that sets off a "camouflage melody," allowing users to appear as if they are receiving a regular message and not a call to the bedroom. This innovative technology comes on the heels of a recent study, which suggests that women tend to dress more fashionably during ovulation -- possibly a subconscious gesture to would-be mates that the iron is hot. (Go Science!)Now, supposedly these new telephones are intended to help couples conceive in Japan, where fertility rates are at an all time low, but given the value of such "inside" information,...
By Emil Steiner | October 30, 2006; 12:31 PM ET | Comments (6)
Breakfast Bender
Here's a recap of recent oddities from across the globe: Forzie, the four-legged chicken that hatched in New Zealand last month, died Friday. But according to reports, an extra anus -- not the extra legs -- was to blame. As farmer Marlene Dickey put it, "he developed two bottoms and I think he got glugged up." You mean flammable is the same thing as inflammable? (Sergei Grits -- AP) In an early bid for this week's "Stupidest Criminal Award," an unidentified Wisconsinite attempted to rob a fireworks shop Friday and ended up destroying the whole store when he fired his shotgun, igniting the merchandise. Crooks on the links. Two juvenile burglary suspects in Palm Harbor, Florida led police on a chase through Copperhead golf course, interrupting second round play at the PGA's Chrysler Championship Friday. If you were thinking of adopting a black cat this Halloween, you'd better stay out...
By Emil Steiner | October 30, 2006; 09:02 AM ET | Comments (3)
Lunchtime Wrap
Congratulations, it's Friday. The weekend's so close you can almost taste that Halloween party punch. Here's a final dose of OFF/beat news to get you to the finish-line. It's not all doom and gloom on the Korean peninsula. Since Pyongyang's testing of a nuclear weapon, condom sales in South Korea are up around 28%, and one-hour "love motels" are doing brisk business. Nice to see that people are still taking the time to practice "safer" sex in the face of nuclear Armageddon. Put me in coach, I'm ready to play! Sure, there's a Tuna, but is there also a rat in the Big-D? Cowboys assistant coach Todd Haley thinks so. The passing game coordinator is claiming his wife and a family au pair found a dead one, mouth up, in their McDonald's salad. Now, just like his sideline chum Terrell Owens, Haley wants to get paid. On Thursday he filed...
By Emil Steiner | October 27, 2006; 12:20 PM ET | Comments (2)
Sexsomnia Baffles Doctors
Get out of my dreams and into my bed! If you thought restless leg syndrome, insomnia or crashing into Congress were all you had to worry about while sleeping, think again! The hottest new sleep disorder waking up the medical community is "sexsomnia" a rare condition in which sufferers unknowingly demand, or actually have, sex while asleep (it might not be just a really lame excuse after all). According to one expert, the sex usually happens in bed with people who are already partners. "Sometimes they hate it... Sometimes they tolerate it. On rare occasions you have stories of people liking it better than waking sex." (Read into that what you will.) To date, there is no cure for "sexsomniacs" (imagine what that commercials will look like when they find it though) and researchers have been hampered by sufferers who are too embarrassed to bring it up. In fact,...
By Emil Steiner | October 26, 2006; 03:31 PM ET | Comments (27)
"Psycho Dad" A Philadelphia Football Story
Has youth football gone gangsta? Snoop Dogg wasn't present at this throw-down. (By Robert E. Klein -- Associated Press) Looking for a good way to traumatize your kids? In what could be some of the worst childrearing since Mother Bates, Wayne Derkotch, of Philadelphia stands accused of aggravated assault after a sideline argument at his son's pee-wee football game, Sunday, degenerated into a gun fight. According to reports, it all started when the 40-year-old father approached coach Jermaine Wilson about getting his son more playing time. An argument ensued after Wilson told him he wanted to run up the score before putting in other players and Derkotch began cursing. Witness accounts vary somewhat but the 34-year-old coach either told him "to step aside" or "take it to the side" so they could "settle this like men." Regardless, fists started flying, 6 and 7-year-olds started screaming and parents scrambled to...
By Emil Steiner | October 25, 2006; 01:01 PM ET | Comments (20)
Breakfast Bender
Hey, hey it's hump-day! Make sure to start it off right with a well balanced feast of OFF/beat news Could eyelash transplants become the cosmetic surgery of the future? That all depends how far our society is willing to go in the pursuit of "beauty." Using the "plug and sew" procedures pioneered by the hair loss industry, surgeons can give you long, sweeping lashes. Be warned though, just like head hair, your "lash-plugs" need to be trimmed regularly (shampoo/conditioner?) while transplanting very curly hair can give your "lash-lines" too much kink (relaxer?). Need more proof China will be the next great super power? Five Chinese bureau officials have been dismissed or demoted after their super intense lobbying of a county auditor ended in death. 25-year-old Zhang Hongtao, just couldn't turn down hospitality and died, last April, of over-eating and alcohol poisoning following a series of banquet binges. Sponge Bob strikes...
By Emil Steiner | October 25, 2006; 09:06 AM ET | Comments (3)
Lunchtime Round-Up
Here's Tuesday's brown-bag of OFF/beat news Loretta Nall in a less revealing pose. (AP Photo/Rob Carr) Everyone's heard the catch phrase "sex sells," but can it win an election? We may know soon thanks to a "D"-lightful gubernatorial race in Alabama, where Libertarian Loretta Nall is actually campaigning on her cleavage. The 32-year-old write-in candidate is busting up political correctness by selling T-shirts and marijuana "stash boxes" emblazoned with a revealing photo of herself and the words: "More of these boobs," and then below the chest area there are pictures of her opponents and the words: "And less of these boobs." Win or lose it's definitely the race to watch this November. From the "I can't believe they said that" file, Scottish judge Margaret Gimblett, cleared study abroad student Hui Yu, of driving without insurance because "all Chinese people can look the same," thus rendering a police identification erroneous. The...
By Emil Steiner | October 24, 2006; 01:23 PM ET | Comments (2)
Automaton Defined, Part 2
For the second time in as many weeks, a German driver followed his GPS so obediently that he didn't bother to notice he was driving through a construction site until he had crashed.
By Emil Steiner | October 23, 2006; 01:23 PM ET | Comments (1)
Breakfast Bender
From bestiality to mannequin fetishists, here's your breakfast binge of OFF/beat news
By Emil Steiner | October 23, 2006; 08:41 AM ET | Comments (1)
Lunchtime Round-Up
From Spanish kings hunting drunk bears, to mouth-shaped urinals and hair stealing baggage handlers, here's your lunchtime binge of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 20, 2006; 12:10 PM ET | Comments (5)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
From vibrator thieves, to gun-toting grannies and mayoral carjackers, we proudly present this week in OFF/beat crime.
By Emil Steiner | October 20, 2006; 12:48 AM ET | Comments (21)
Breakfast Bender
From second amendment crazed immigrants to Kazakhstan's bank spelling blunder, here's your breakfast binge of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 19, 2006; 07:44 AM ET | Comments (15)
Iron Mike's "Girlie Comeback"
If you've been waiting for an opportunity to see Mike Tyson punch a girl, this could be your lucky day! The 40-year-old former heavyweight champ is giving up his day job training on the Vegas Strip to launch a comeback tour, which he says may include bouts with women.
By Emil Steiner | October 18, 2006; 10:53 PM ET | Comments (14)
Lunchtime Round-Up
From a drive-by crossbow shooting to an airline paying customers to fly, here's your lunchtime binge of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 18, 2006; 01:08 PM ET | Comments (1)
Reverse Jail Break
A drunk Norwegian guy got lost on his way home Friday night and ended up breaking into a jail six miles from his neighborhood. Can you say: Idiot of the Year nominee?
By Emil Steiner | October 17, 2006; 12:04 PM ET | Comments (1)
Breakfast Round-Up
From Croatian dentistry to the $45,000 toilet, here's your breakfast binge of OFF/beat news.
By Emil Steiner | October 17, 2006; 10:21 AM ET | Comments (2)
Soda Pisser Has Shy Bladder
22-year-old Anthony Mesa, who served 6 months for peeing in a customers Mountain Dew, is now claiming he can't take his court-ordered drug tests because he suffers from a "shy bladder."
By Emil Steiner | October 16, 2006; 08:41 AM ET | Comments (9)
Euro Disney Orgy Caught On Tape
In an attempt to perhaps stimulate business at Disneyland's Paris Resort, theme park employees shot and distributed a "home movie" of everyone's favorite costumed characters getting busy backstage.
By Emil Steiner | October 13, 2006; 10:39 AM ET | Comments (23)
Looking For Urine In All The Wrong Places
How far would you go to pass a drug test? In a potential last minute bid to win this week's Stupidest Criminal Award, OFF/beat proudly presents Nick and Teresa Kintigos of Greenup County, Kentucky. This desperately innovative couple stand accused of breaking into an elementary school bathroom and soliciting young boys to micturate into a cup so that Nick could have clean urine to pass his drug test.
By Emil Steiner | October 13, 2006; 09:02 AM ET | Comments (2)
I Learned From Watching You Dad
Brian Paul Biederman, son of Ballwin, Missouri's head cop James Biederman, was charged, Tuesday, with impersonating an officer after he and a friend were busted rocking police clothes and pulling over motorists in dad's unmarked cruiser.
By Emil Steiner | October 12, 2006; 08:49 AM ET | Comments (2)
"Stupidest Criminal" Race Tightens
From equine DUIs to pot laced Whoppers, here are this week's nominees for OFF/beat's Stupidest Criminal Award.
By Emil Steiner | October 11, 2006; 01:13 PM ET | Comments (2)
Team Loyalty
Bad news for women who think they have some shot of getting guys to pay attention to them this football season. According to a new study by University of Maryland physician David Jerrard, about 50% of men chose to wait until their football game had ended before seeking emergency medical care.
By Emil Steiner | October 11, 2006; 11:27 AM ET | Comments (2)
If The Crescent's A'Rockin' Don't...
There may be "no sex in the champagne room," but what about in a Mosque during Ramadan? Peter Kimani and Jennifer Wairimu pleaded guilty, Monday, to getting busy in a place of worship after being caught on October 3 at the Abubakar mosque, about 60 miles north of Nairobi, Kenya.
By Emil Steiner | October 10, 2006; 11:10 AM ET | Comments (1)
Automaton Defined
Maybe "Terminator" was onto something with its grim prognostications of a future where humans are ruled by machines. Take for example Volker Heinmann of Germany, who followed his car's GPS so obediently, over the weekend, that he ignored highway detour signs and drove his Benz half a mile through a construction zone, before crashing into a pile of sand
By Emil Steiner | October 10, 2006; 08:59 AM ET | Comments (1)
Holy Cow!
On Sunday, a crazed bull went on a seven hour rampage across downtown New Delhi, smashing its way through markets, temples and even a YWCA
By Emil Steiner | October 9, 2006; 11:52 PM ET | Comments (7)
Probing Compensation
German lawyer Jens Lorek has an out of this world strategy to pack his office with weirdos. The 41-year-old advocate is pursuing state compensation for people who claim they've been abducted by aliens.
By Emil Steiner | October 6, 2006; 09:16 AM ET | Comments (6)
Have You Seen These Boobs?
In what has to be the most sought after wanted poster in the history of wanted posters, a German plastic surgeon has given police photos of the breasts of several women who skipped out on paying for their enlargements
By Emil Steiner | October 5, 2006; 10:41 AM ET | Comments (3)
Fining Poor Speech
Next time your in Malaysia you better choose your words wisely. According to the Minister of Culture, Arts and Heritage, Rais Yatim, fines as high as 1,000 ringgit ($271) may be levied against folks who use any incorrect forms of Malay.
By Emil Steiner | October 5, 2006; 09:34 AM ET | Comments (2)
If Books Could Kill
Perhaps inspired by "Footloose" or maybe the Salem Witch Trials, Laura Mallory, of Loganville, Georgia wants local schools to expunge their libraries of Harry Potter. Though neither a literary critic nor religious scholar, the impassioned mother of four informed the Gwinnett County Board of Education Tuesday that the best selling children's books are in fact an "evil" attempt to indoctrinate children in Wicca religion.
By Emil Steiner | October 4, 2006; 04:09 PM ET | Comments (49)
Here's To Another DWI
Susan Marshall, of Little Rock, Arkansas, arrived at traffic court drunk, Tuesday morning, for her fifth drunk driving charge in a year and third in less than a month.
By Emil Steiner | October 4, 2006; 08:28 AM ET | Comments (1)
Breast Implants Save Another Life
Who needs airbags when you've got fake breasts? On Saturday, a 24-year-old Bulgarian woman ran a red light at a busy intersection in the town of Ruse, smashing head-on into another car and survived thanks to her 40 DD enhancements.
By Emil Steiner | October 3, 2006; 11:45 AM ET | Comments (5)
Hamster On A Plane
On Friday, a flight from Innsbruck, Austria to Majorca, Spain made an unscheduled landing in Graz, after a passenger's smuggled hamster got loose
By Emil Steiner | September 29, 2006; 11:24 AM ET | Comments (3)
OFF/beat Prisons
The purpose and efficacy of prison systems have long been debated, but two recent cases illustrate just how "interesting" that debate can be.
By Emil Steiner | September 29, 2006; 10:41 AM ET | Comments (1)
Lionesses Prefer A Trimmed Look
Simba may wanna pick up some Nair. It turns out hirsute males are about as attractive in the lion world as they are in the human one.
By Emil Steiner | September 28, 2006; 10:59 AM ET | Comments (3)
Thong Burglar
A northern Kentucky man wearing only a thong and carrying a knife allegedly videotaped himself attempting a burglary, then left the tape behind
By Emil Steiner | September 27, 2006; 08:46 AM ET | Comments (2)
Chop Shop
Robert Parker, an East Texas used car dealer, allegedly ended an argument with a customer, on Monday, by pulling out a machete and chopping his arm.
By Emil Steiner | September 26, 2006; 09:35 PM ET | Comments (1)
Tow-Jacking
Four Detroit carjackers, demonstrated bombastic perseverance, Monday, when they stole an inoperable vehicle from a woman who was waiting for a tow truck. Sure, they got caught, but on the plus side OFF/beat has honored them with this week's first nomination for the Stupidest Criminal Award.
By Emil Steiner | September 26, 2006; 03:53 PM ET | Comments (1)
Can't Get No Satisfaction
When a faulty penile implant results in a 10-year erection, you'd expect to at least be compensated. That's why Monday's decision by Providence Superior Court to strip Charles "Chick" Lennon of his $400,000 payday seems like a doubly low blow.
By Emil Steiner | September 26, 2006; 12:21 PM ET | Comments (5)
Toddler eBays Car
In what might be eBay's greatest endorsement for usability, a 3-year-old English lad managed to get online and purchase a vintage, Barbie pink, 1 liter, turbo-charged Nissan Figaro, for $17,000.
By Emil Steiner | September 26, 2006; 11:56 AM ET | Comments (3)
Of Lizards, Placentas, & Birth
Wil Kemp, an Australian zoo keeper, announced Tuesday that he plans to feed the placenta from his newborn son to his pet goannas
By Emil Steiner | September 26, 2006; 08:45 AM ET | Comments (2)
Teddy Bear Massacre
A New Hampsire teddy bear has been blamed for the massacre of 2,500 rainbow trout at a government fish hatchery.
By Emil Steiner | September 25, 2006; 03:09 PM ET | Comments (2)
Six Flags Bugs PETA
Six Flags' eat a roach jump the line promotion is not just turning stomachs, it's upsetting the sensibilities of PETA. A spokeswoman for the animal rights organization characterized next month's bug buffet, complete with cooked insect eating contest, as "gratuitously cruel."
By Emil Steiner | September 25, 2006; 01:43 PM ET | Comments (1)
Role Playing Gone Wild
Johns beware, hookers in upstate New York are putting a new twist on the undercover sting.
By Emil Steiner | September 25, 2006; 10:14 AM ET | Email a Comment
Over-Priced Groping
A Finnish couple have been sentenced to more than 1 year in jail for bilking a demented 74-year-old out of cash to fondle the woman's breasts
By Emil Steiner | September 22, 2006; 02:25 PM ET | Comments (3)
This Week In OFF/beat Crime
From blueberry thieves to statue castrators here are this week's nominees for OFF/beat's Stupidest Criminal Award.
By Emil Steiner | September 22, 2006; 10:39 AM ET | Comments (6)
Roach Eating At Six Flags
Six Flags Great America, in Illinois, is offering unlimited line-jumping privileges to customers who eat a live Madagascar hissing cockroach
By Emil Steiner | September 21, 2006; 12:35 PM ET | Comments (2)
Stimulating Paranoia
On Wednesday, Swiss researchers announced that stimulating a certain area of the brain can produce a creepy feeling that someone is watching you when no one is.
By Emil Steiner | September 21, 2006; 10:52 AM ET | Comments (2)
Moose Invades Dorm Room
On Tuesday, a wayward moose went Robert Downey Jr. wandering uninvited onto the Northern Michigan University campus and crashing a dorm room window while students slept. According to one wildlife expert it may have just been looking for love in all the wrong places. Apparently "young bull moose," much like lonely freshmen on a Friday night, often go out of their way traveling "long distances" for an opportunity to mate.Source: Moose Wanders Onto N. Michigan U. Campus...
By Emil Steiner | September 21, 2006; 08:11 AM ET | Comments (1)
Man Bites Zoo Panda
This is a different panda whose biting record was not available. (James A. Parcell -- The Washington Post) Next time you're drunk at the zoo, remember Zhang Xinyan. The boozed up migrant worker from central China, jumped into a panda enclosure at the Beijing Zoo on September 19, and attempted to pet a 6-year-old male named Gu Gu. As the 35-year-old went in for a hug, the panda took a bite out of his right leg. Zhang, who had been drinking beer all day, retaliated by chomping Gu Gu back -- but, as he recalled later "its fur was too thick." A 15 minute scuffle ensued before zoo keepers could pull him to safety. "No one ever said they would bite people," Zhang, a father of two, lamented from his hospital bed. "I just wanted to touch it. I was so dizzy from the beer. I don't remember much."Source: Panda Bites Man, Man Bites Him Back...
By Emil Steiner | September 20, 2006; 09:07 AM ET | Comments (2)
Postal Brew
On Tuesday, an Ohio state postal worker who poured urine into his co-workers' coffee was sentenced to six months in a jail work-release program.
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 05:52 PM ET | Comments (7)
How NOT To Smuggle Wildlife
On Monday, Chris Edward Mulloy of Palm Springs, California was arrested for allegedly sneaking two Asian leopards through LAX and lying for a friend who was smuggling two pygmy monkeys down his pants.
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 03:14 PM ET | Comments (3)
Czechs Going Sober??
A new set of stricter drunk driving laws threatens to water down the Czech Republics record for largest beer consumption.
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 02:56 PM ET | Comments (2)
To Have and To Have Not
Surgeons at Guangzhou General Hospital, in China had spent 15 hours attaching a 4 inch penis donated by brain-dead 22-year-old man onto a 44-year-old recipient who had lost his in a traumatic accident. But less than two weeks after performing the world's first penile transplant, doctors were forced to remove the organ because of complaints of severe psychological distress from the recipient's wife. Even though his body did not reject the new penis, apparently its grotesque, swollen appearance caused his wife to....
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 11:55 AM ET | Comments (9)
Neither Rain, Nor Sleet, But Sloth?
A Kentucky postal employee admitted to dumping over 500 pieces of mail because he was to lazy to deliver it. Sure, he's now facing jail time, but on the plus side OFF/beat has honored him with this week's Laziest Public Servant Award.
By Emil Steiner | September 19, 2006; 08:48 AM ET | Comments (3)
Some Pig!
A Wisconsin pig escapes slaughter by dodging traffic and police Tasers for 13 hours on Green Bay's busiest highway.
By Emil Steiner | September 15, 2006; 11:15 AM ET | Comments (2)
Nuked "Penis"
On Wednesday, Leslye Creighton, of Wilkinsburg PA, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct for trying to microwave a prosthetic penis, in February. The 41-year-old and a companion had filled the phony phallus with urine in order to pass a drug test (where'd they get that idea?). Thinking testers might be suspicious if the urine wasn't at body temperature, Creighton stopped by a convenience store, wrapped the "organ" in paper towels and asked a clerk to microwave it. But the clerk mistook it to be a real severed penis and called police. If convicted Creighton faces up to 90 days in jail....
By Emil Steiner | September 15, 2006; 10:43 AM ET | Comments (2)
Cult Remains Vigilant Despite Uneventful Doomsday
Even though the world would end on September 12th Kenyan members of the "House of Yahweh" seem undeterred by the apocalyptic tardiness, insisting international time zones were to blame.
By Emil Steiner | September 14, 2006; 01:03 PM ET | Comments (11)
Sleepy Judge Releases Suspects
A lazy South African judge, was so exhausted when 4pm rolled around that she released 13 suspects rather than work overtime. Sure, she's now held in near universal contempt, but on the plus side OFF/beat has honored her with this week's Laziest Public Servant Award.
By Emil Steiner | September 14, 2006; 09:46 AM ET | Comments (4)
When Punters Attack
Perhaps inspired by Tonya Harding or maybe Günter Parche, Mitch Cozad, the back-up punter at Northern Colorado was arrested, Tuesday, on suspicion of stabbing first string punter Rafael Mendoza in his kicking leg. The stabbing took place in a parking lot Monday night, and according to police was motivated by competition for the starting spot. Now, with Mendoza injured and Cozad suspended the only really beneficiary from the attack appears to be the Bears' third string punter, if only they had one listed on their roster....
By Emil Steiner | September 13, 2006; 07:06 PM ET | Comments (16)
Phony Eunuchs Busted
Two Indian men are under arrest after a 15 day spree in which they impersonated eunuchs to in a black magic exorcism scam.
By Emil Steiner | September 13, 2006; 08:29 AM ET | Comments (3)
Ugly Fish Gets Surgery
A Scottish goldfish underwent cosmetic surgery after museum visitors complained about its appearance.
By Emil Steiner | September 12, 2006; 01:55 PM ET | Comments (3)
Electric Man Electrocuted
Huynh Van Hung, of Vietnam, made a name for himself sticking his fingers in electric sockets and licking live wires has died of electrocution near the Cambodian boarder.
By Emil Steiner | September 12, 2006; 11:09 AM ET | Comments (6)
Triple Grande Extra Frivolous Lawsuit
On Friday, Peter Sullivan filed a $144 million lawsuit against Starbucks, after the Seattle java giant prematurely canceled their over-circulated free drink coupon, much to the anguish of coffee addicts nationwide.
By Emil Steiner | September 11, 2006; 02:58 PM ET | Comments (10)
Gunpoint Prayer Session
An Alabama trio have been arrested for allegedly holding a man hostage and praying for his soul.
By Emil Steiner | September 11, 2006; 01:55 PM ET | Comments (2)
Granny Robs Bank With Toy Gun
Melvena Cooke may be the oldest person in Chicago history ever charged with attempted bank robbery. On Tuesday, the 79-year-old South Sider allegedly walked into a downtown bank wearing a visor that read "Princess," pulled out a toy gun, and demanded $30,000 from the teller. If convicted she faces up to 20 years in prison. ...
By Emil Steiner | September 8, 2006; 12:30 PM ET | Comments (2)
Slow Learner
A Cambodian man has been arrested for beating his wife only hours after attending a domestic violence seminar.
By Emil Steiner | September 8, 2006; 11:41 AM ET | Comments (1)
Cracking Nuts
Alabama police used ground up macadamia nuts to nab crack addicts in a downtown drug sting.
By Emil Steiner | September 7, 2006; 03:16 PM ET | Comments (1)
Puppy Pounder Convicted
On Wednesday, Lisa Hopfer of St. Louis was convicted of misdemeanor assault and trespassing for browbeating dog breeder Linda Hulsey with a dead Chihuahua.
By Emil Steiner | September 7, 2006; 02:51 PM ET | Comments (1)
Is That A Phone in Your Colon Or...
On Wednesday, authorities in El Salvador's notorious Zacatecoluca prison announced they had caught four gang members who hid cell phones, a charger and spare SIM cards in their bowels and used them to coordinate crime behind bars.
By Emil Steiner | September 7, 2006; 01:50 PM ET | Comments (2)
Traffic Cams Beware
A British motorist caught speeding by traffic camera, choose to blow up the recording device rather than pay the fine. Sure, he got caught and is heading to jail, but on the plus side OFF/beat has honored him with this week's Stupidest Criminal Award.
By Emil Steiner | September 6, 2006; 04:47 PM ET | Comments (4)
Total Eclipse of the Lawsuit
A group of Belgian travelers were so traumatized by Bonnie Tyler's midair rendition of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" that they're suing Air France.
By Emil Steiner | September 6, 2006; 02:29 PM ET | Comments (13)
America's Drunkest City
Congratulations Milwaukee! You've been named America's drunkest city by Forbes.com beating out such inebriated municipalities as Columbus, Ohio and Las Vegas, Nevada. The study, based in part on data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, found that more than 70% of adult Milwaukeeans threw back at least one alcoholic drink in the past 30 days, with 7.5% classifying as heavy drinkers. Of course, the CDC defines "heavy drinking" as more than one drink per day for women, (2 for men), meaning any female who has more than a glass of red wine to maintain heart health, gets counted as a heavy drinker....
By Emil Steiner | August 25, 2006; 01:58 PM ET | Comments (9)
Le Pornographic Divorce
On Wednesday, Alfred Seals of Cape Girardeau, Missouri, pleaded guilty to breaking into his ex-wife's e-mail and sending her family pornographic pictures of her. The 47-year-old was sentenced to 20 days in jail for misdemeanor tampering with a computer. Seals admitted accessing his ex-wife's Yahoo! account without consent (yes, that is illegal now) and forwarding her family a link titled "something nice to see" which clicked through to a site containing several nude photos taken while the couple was still married....
By Emil Steiner | August 25, 2006; 08:05 AM ET | Comments (4)
Broadcast Malfunction
Few people pay close attention to those little TV screens behind news anchors' heads, but those who did in Sweden, Saturday night were treated to a snippet of hardcore Czech porn. State broadcaster SVT apologized Monday for the " highly embarrassing" incident, though not one viewer complaint has been lodged. Perhaps ABC could capitalize on a similar "mishap" to give a boost to World News Tonight's limp ratings.Source: Swedish Broadcaster Has Porn Mishap...
By Emil Steiner | August 23, 2006; 12:30 PM ET | Comments (1)
Pope Wants Us To Take It Easy
Could laziness be close to Godliness? Certainly no one would expect a Pope to espouse a Protestant work ethic but recent comments from His Holiness could be misconstrued as an endorsement of sloth. Speaking from his vacation home, on Sunday, Pope Benedict XVI warned the faithful, gathered for their Sunday blessing, that hard work can cause "suffering of the spirit" and the "loss of intelligence." It would seem the 79-year-old Pontiff, who is vacationing from July through September, practices what he preaches, but where should the lay draw a line between excessive labor and indolence?Source: Pope: Working Too Hard Harms the Spirit...
By Emil Steiner | August 23, 2006; 09:31 AM ET | Comments (5)
Rampaging Raccoons Ransack Olympia
A vicious gang of killer raccoons is terrorizing pets and residents in Olympia, Washington. Thus far the Procyon posse has been implicated in at least ten cat murders, a coordinated dog attack, and one reported human biting. Residents within a three-block radius of Garfield Nature Trail, have taken to arming themselves with pepper spray and iron pipes, while local officials consider calling upon Federal trappers to quell the nocturnal insurgency. Besides their rapacious nature, what makes these raccoons so unique is that they have somehow taught each other to avoid traps. According to one wildlife expert close to the scene "they are in command up there," not us. Source: Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Olympia...
By Emil Steiner | August 22, 2006; 01:55 PM ET | Comments (6)
"Paris" Makes Hilton Cry
Just in case your life was feeling incomplete, Paris Hilton's self-titled, debut album came out today. Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly reports that the 25-year-old socialite/diva "like, cr[ies]" when she listens to it. No doubt many of us will have a similar reaction.Source: Morning Mix: Paris Hilton's Music Makes Her Cry, Too...
By Emil Steiner | August 22, 2006; 09:35 AM ET | Comments (9)
Texas Top In Partying
Good news Longhorn fans, on Monday Princeton Review named your school America's number 1 party college. The University of Texas in Austin beat out such notable party institutions as Penn State University, West Virginia University and Wisconsin-Madison, taking second place in the use of hard liquor, third in beer drinking and 13th in marijuana smoking. No word yet whether SI will be putting out an individually numbered, gold embossed, commemorative issue to celebrate UT's accomplishment.Source: U of Texas-Austin Tops Party School List...
By Emil Steiner | August 22, 2006; 09:13 AM ET | Comments (7)
Real Life Augustus Gloop
On Friday, a Kenosha man got trapped in a waist-deep vat of liquid chocolate. The 21-year-old employee of Wisconsin based supplier Debelis Corp., claims he crawled into the tank to unplug it and only realized he was stuck when he tried to get out. It took co-workers, police and firefighters two hours to complete the rescue, eventually using coco-butter to thin down the chocolate and pry him free.Source: Man Trapped Waist-Deep in Chocolate...
By Emil Steiner | August 18, 2006; 12:35 PM ET | Comments (32)
Dryer British Humor
On Wednesday, four firefighters from Manchester, England got suspended for a stunt worthy of Beavis and Butthead, or at least bored undergrads. The prank, which they were kind enough to film and put online, involved one of them getting inside an industrial sized dryer and going for a spin. After tumbling around for a few cycles he emerges somewhat dazed as his colleagues look on laughing. Their boss, Assistant County Fire Officer Steven Beckley had a slightly different reaction to the footage, one which he described as "horrified."Sources: Fireman In A Spin Video & Dryer film firefighters suspended...
By Emil Steiner | August 17, 2006; 02:56 PM ET | Comments (3)
Monks Tussle At Peace Rally
An anti-violence demonstration in Colombo, Sri Lanka went Jerry Springer, Thursday, when hard-line monks stormed the stage of their pro-peace brethren. First the speaker and a hardliner went at it, punches were exchanged, and then it was on, with robes, fists, and monks flying across stage. The "peace protest" had been organized to find non-violent solutions to the 20 year civil war between Buddhists and Tamil Tiger rebels; and since today's brawl consisted mostly of Buddhist on Buddhist violence it sounds like they're moving in the right direction.Sources: Sri Lanka Appears to Be Back at War & Monks brawl at Sri Lanka peace protest...
By Emil Steiner | August 17, 2006; 12:26 PM ET | Comments (31)
Land Lord Help Us!
Annoying neighbors are as common in apartment buildings as predators on Myspace, but a seven-member family in Berlin has elevated late night disturbances to a higher power. The uber-pious bunch is facing eviction after 10 months of decibel shattering, Christian prayer sessions some which started at 2:30 in the morning. Despite numerous complaints from other tenants, family patriarch Pierre D. insists "the high volume is needed in the battle against the devil." Source: Family faces eviction for noisy night prayers...
By Emil Steiner | August 17, 2006; 11:37 AM ET | Comments (1)
Fishy Record Set In Portugal
Kobayashi may have some stiff, albeit anonymous, competition for his title as world's biggest eater after an unknown showed up at this year's Sardine Festival in Faro, Portugal and set a new record. The nameless gastronome consumed 50 grilled sardines in 15 minutes.Source: Sardine muncher sets eating record...
By Emil Steiner | August 16, 2006; 09:44 AM ET | Comments (1)
The Fecal Con
Word of what might the nastiest con ever pulled, has been trickling out of Germany all morning. According to reports, three thieves in Berlin stole over $8,000 from their mark by first throwing human feces at him, and then cleaning his pockets while they pretended to clean off his clothes. The scam--a putrid escalation of classic pickpocket diversion--was executed so smoothly, that the victim did not notice he'd been robbed until he took his pants to the cleaners.Source: Thieves rob German man after feces attack...
By Emil Steiner | August 15, 2006; 12:08 PM ET | Comments (6)
Euro-Jackass
This week's award for dumbest criminal goes to four French men who took turns jumping in front of cars on a Spanish highway to film driver reactions. The masterminds intended to post their footage of swerving, breaking carnage on the internet, proving once again that stupidity knows no boarders. Experts say their behavior is an offshoot of last year's British youth craze "happy slapping" where teenagers filmed themselves assaulting strangers. Besides prosecution, the 4 "happy breakers" also earn an automatic nomination for OFF/beat's Idiot of the Year Awards, held in December.Source: French pranksters held for traffic stunts in Spain...
By Emil Steiner | August 9, 2006; 09:37 AM ET | Comments (2)
Member of the Bar
Clark County District Judge, Michelle Leavitt became suspicious, Tuesday, after defense attorney, Joseph Caramango showed up to trial 90 minutes late and slurred his speech. When she asked him if he was ok, the 41-year-old Vegas lawyer claimed he had suffered head trauma in a car crash while driving to court. His story began falling apart though after the woman he testified was his old girlfriend told the judge they had met 20 minutes ago in a bar. Leavitt ordered an immediate Breathalyzer, and finding him too drunk to advocate, declared a mistrial. Caramango, who's client was facing life in prison for kidnapping, admitted later to having several shots of tequila the night before, but maintained he hadn't "committed any ethical violation." Sources: Judge Declares Lawyer Drunk in Court & Video Footage...
By Emil Steiner | August 9, 2006; 07:43 AM ET | Comments (1)
Camel's Milk The Key To Virility?
Virmaram Jat, of India, has a libido that could put Hef's to shame. The 88-year-old farmer, who just fathered twins, has never heard of Viagra but has intercourse every day, and plans to do so until death. He attributes his virility to long walks, vegetarianism, and drinking 2-3 liters of camel milk a day. Jat lives with his two wives in a mud hut and scoffs at the notion of slowing down. Sex is natural, he contends, "there should be an urge within you to enjoy a full life... I do it daily and the best time for intercourse is between 2 am and 4 am."Source: Dad at 88, still raring to go...
By Emil Steiner | August 8, 2006; 02:52 PM ET | Comments (3)
Bible Coke Smuggler Sentenced
In Shawshank Redemption, Andy Dufresne broke out of prison with a rock hammer he hid in his bible. On Monday, Amy Duckworth was sentenced to 180 days in prison for using the Good Book to smuggle cocaine to her jailed husband. The 28-year-old, mother of three, confessed to planting 2 grams worth in the spines of Bibles and having them delivered to Huntington County Jail, in March. On the plus side though, this will probably shorten her commute to conjugal visits.Source: Woman Sentenced for Bible Coke Smuggling...
By Emil Steiner | August 8, 2006; 01:01 PM ET | Comments (1)
From Shot Putter To Shot Drinker
Swedish shot putter, Jimmy Nordin, (not pictured above) was so disappointed by his 27th place finish in Monday's European Championship, that he went on an Olympic size bender and got kicked off the team. According to his Coach Thomas Engdahl, the 26-year-old drank such a huge quanity that team officials feared he would hurt himself. Police took him into custody that evening after he allegedly became violent with hotel security. Nordin has filed a counter-compliant claiming that the guards abused him, however his case may be hindered by this statement he gave Swedish tabloid Aftonbladet: "I tried to forget the qualifying event with alcohol. I started right after the competition by going to a pub and taking two shots of vodka. After that, I don't know if what has been said is true or not." Source: Swedish shot putter kicked off team for drinking spree...
By Emil Steiner | August 8, 2006; 10:03 AM ET | Comments (2)
Gangs Of The Poconos
Snow white and pine green are colors typically associated with the Pocono mountains, but Crip blue? According to local police, though, in the past year gang members from New York City have tacitly taken up residence in non-patrolled, gated communities across Monroe County, PA. Once there, they stake out drug turf and conduct business with little interference from authorities. Longtime residents seem stunned to the point of denial at the possibility of gang activity in their quiet enclave. But with stabbings, mêlées and 61 arrests so far this year, Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings and MS13 are rapidly transforming the bucolic Poconos into San Andreas.Source: Gangs Quietly Infiltrate Pocono Region...
By Emil Steiner | August 8, 2006; 07:00 AM ET | Comments (4)
Bed Bugs Bite Back
Bed bugs, the longtime scourge of nursery rhymes, have made a real world comeback, leaving experts scratching their heads to find a solution. Before World War II, infestations were as common as polio, but improvements in hygiene and the widespread use of DDT (not available at Whole Foods) helped relegate the little brown bloodsuckers to bedtime myth. Now entomologists and pest control professionals are reporting a dramatic increase in infestations throughout America. A combination of factors such as less aggressive spraying, environmentally friendly poison, and increased travel may be to blame for the current outbreak.Source: Bedbug Infestations on Rise Across U.S....
By Emil Steiner | August 7, 2006; 12:08 PM ET | Comments (5)
One Pill Makes You Wiser?
Feeling a little dumb today? It might not be a hangover, you might actually be stupid (reading this blog is a symptom). But fear not, for even as you squint at these words, intrepid German scientists are hard at work engineering a solution. Hans-Hilger Ropers, director of the Max-Planck-Institute for Molecular Genetics in Berlin, is testing the world's first "anti-stupid" pill. It works by thwarting hyperactivity in certain brain cells helping to stabilize short-term memory and improve attentiveness. Still with me? So far results have been encouraging in fruit flies and mice though it remains to be seen whether human brains can benefit.Source: Germans test 'anti-stupid' pill on mice...
By Emil Steiner | August 7, 2006; 11:38 AM ET | Comments (3)
Chinese Anger Management
Forget about kicking your cat, a new bar in Nanjing city, China, offers patrons a more legal and innovative way to relieve stress after a hard day of work. Customers at the "Rising Sun Anger Release Bar" can, for a price, punch their servers, smash glasses, shout and scream. At a cost of $6.35 to $37.50, depending on your needs, the friendly staff of 20 will dress up as your boss, your spouse, even your mother-in-law and allow you to wail away your anger. If violence isn't your bag, Rising Sun also offers counseling from psychology students, though one could argue that trying to take advice from an undergrad might instigate patron attacks.Source: Bar lets stressed out customers beat staff...
By Emil Steiner | August 7, 2006; 07:46 AM ET | Comments (6)
Masturbating For Charity
On Saturday, more than 250 people from all over England flocked to a photo studio in central London, for what was billed as Europe's first "Masturbate-a-thon". The event, hosted by sexual health agency Marie Stopes International, attempted to raise awareness of safe sex, and money for health care charity Terrence Higgins. Donations were determined by how many minutes, (or hours) participants masturbated and/or how many orgasms they achieved. Organizers hope the "Masturbate-a-thon" will stamp out the "Tabooness" (I guess making up words is a turn on?) of masturbation and encourage young people to use it as an alternative to unprotected sex.Source: Charity wants Britons to come to Masturbate-a-thon...
By Emil Steiner | August 5, 2006; 06:04 PM ET | Comments (17)
Designated Driver 86ed for Not Drinking
Typically bartenders respect designated drivers or at least don't make staying sober any harder by offering drinks. At Carlie's Lounge in Pinellas Park, Florida, though they have a more aggressive approach. In June, designated driver Gary Maujean Jr. got tossed for allegedly not ordering enough booze. The 37-year-old epileptic, who takes drugs that don't mix with alcohol, received 18 stitches, along with some bumps and bruises after a bouncer tackled him from behind. On Wednesday, he filed suit against bar owner, Vincent Romano, and asked the judge to prohibit Carlie's from "forcing patrons to drink alcoholic beverages."Source: Man Says He Was Kicked Out Of Bar For Not Drinking...
By Emil Steiner | August 4, 2006; 02:58 PM ET | Comments (2)
Gambling On Castro
Looking for an OFF/beat bet this summer? Online gaming site BetUs.com is offering action on the fate of Cuban President Fidel Castro. Gamblers can pick the month, or day of the week when they think the 79-year-old communist leader will die. Other sites such as BetCRIS.com and bodog.com are offering similar, if not less direct, betting options such as: "Will [he] reassume control of Cuba by October 31st, 2006?" or will he "make a public appearance by August 13, his 80th birthday?" Since making the announcement, Monday, BetUS has attracted nearly 3,000 wagers.Source: Castro becomes life-or-death bet on Internet...
By Emil Steiner | August 4, 2006; 11:18 AM ET | Comments (13)
Desperate Measures
Despite it's reputation as a free loving nation, not everyone in Germany is getting some. For instance, on Wednesday night in Aachen, a particularly hard-up wife, who had gone several months without intimate contact woke her husband and demanded he satisfy her needs. When he refused, the 44-year-old woman called the police and asked them to intervene. Since no crime had been committed law enforcement was powerless to resolve the conflict, leaving open the possibility that she will have to take matters into her own hands.Source: Sex-starved wife asks police to intervene...
By Emil Steiner | August 3, 2006; 02:26 PM ET | Comments (1)
Naked Farmer Leads Police To Pot Den
On Monday, police in Woodbury, New York, found Robert Ferranti rolling around naked on the pavement and babbling incoherently. Not even pepper-spray could subdue him, but when the ranting 35-year-old began taking swings, police tackled him. Later that evening investigators stopped by his house and uncovered a massive marijuana growing operation along with five pounds of pot packaged for sale, $10,000 in cash, a 3-foot-tall hookah, and a cache of martial arts weapons, including nunchaku sticks, knives, daggers and swords. According to officers, Ferranti and his cohorts "were growing so much and storing so much, the odor was overwhelming." Full Story: Nude Man Leads Police to Marijuana Farm...
By Emil Steiner | August 2, 2006; 04:20 PM ET | Comments (2)
Beer From The Top Of The World
Coors Light just got some chilly competition for it's nonsensical title of World's Coldest Tasting Beer. On Monday, Greenland Brewhouse, run by Inuits just south of the arctic circle, began distributing two ales made out of pure, polar, ice cap water. The "Brown Ale Greenland" and "Pale Ale Greenland" both contain 5.5% alcohol which puts Coors to shame, but at 6 bucks a pint, it may be more cost effective to stick with the Silver Bullet. Still, with climate change we may see future price cuts, as rising temperatures turn ice caps into delicious liquid gold.Source: Greenland ice cap beer launched...
By Emil Steiner | August 2, 2006; 02:49 PM ET | Comments (1)
5-Year-Old Finds More Than Chocolate In Hotel Bed
Some things that happen in Vegas shouldn't stay in Vegas, especially when it comes to used condoms. The Smoking Gun website is reporting that the Kilcoyne family, of Bellshill, Scotland has filed suit against Caesar's Palace after their 5-year-old daughter allegedly found a used condom in her freshly made bed. Believing it to be a balloon, young Caitlin Kilcoyne, put the spent prophylactic in her mouth and tried to inflate it. Caesar's originally attempted to compensate them with a high roller suite, but now the Scots are seeking over $10,000 in damages (when in Rome, right?). Sources: Hotel Guests Sue Over Vegas Condom Shocker & VEGAS CASINO CONDOM HORROR OF CAITLIN, 5...
By Emil Steiner | August 2, 2006; 08:13 AM ET | Comments (1)
The Great Kosovo Bris-athon
On Saturday, in Gornje Lubinje, Kosovo, Muslim boys under 11-years-old participated in the age-old tradition of mass Sunet (circumcision). Armed his scalpel, village barber, Zulfikar Shishko, went from house to house like a surgical Santa, slicing his way through 87 foreskins in under 13 hours (someone one call Guinness). Lubinje, one of only two villages in Zupa Valley still practicing the custom, rang from dawn 'til dusk with a cacophony of young screams and pulsating music, as relatives lined up to give money to the newly snipped members of their community.Source: Bosnian Muslim rites for Kosovo boys...
By Emil Steiner | August 1, 2006; 11:07 AM ET | Comments (7)
Simpson Thumbs Nose at Hypocrisy
When Ashlee Simpson says read my lips, fans are getting used to checking the fine print, but her latest battle with reality would make Pinocchio jealous. The 21-year-old diva, who recently underwent rhinoplasty, appears on the cover of July's Marie Claire magazine touting the virtues of appreciating one’s body. Of course any celebrity hawking such trite catch phrases will face cries of hypocrisy, but seldom is the evidence as plain as the nose on their face. In response, Marie Claire (which bills itself as, hold your nose: "More than a Pretty Face") received 1,000 letters of protest prompting editor Joanna Coles to speak out against her cover girl.Sources: Ashlee Simpson and That Lip-Syncing Feeling & Ashlee’s Nose Job Is Last Straw for New Editor of Marie Claire...
By Emil Steiner | July 31, 2006; 09:56 AM ET | Comments (1)
Geekin'
On Friday, police arrested Manhattanite, Humberto Rodriguez, for allegedly biting the head of his pet rooster. The 52-year-old told animal protection agents that he decapitated the bird after it injured a pet pigeon he also keeps in his apartment (looking for a cheap 1bdr in NYC?). If convicted, Rodriguez faces up to a year in prison and if not he faces some tough questions from his neighbors....
By Emil Steiner | July 31, 2006; 08:10 AM ET | Comments (1)
Eel-Bashing Day Banned
Since 1974, fishermen in Lyme Regis on England's southern coast have spent one day every summer battering each other with five-foot-long, dead eels to raise money for charity. The annual tradition known as "conger cuddling" draws over 3,000 guests to the village, but thanks to a single complaint by an animal rights activist, this year's festivities were canceled raising the ire of local anglers. Although an alternative (non-eel) event was offered Friday, attendance paled in comparison. Fans of off beat British sports though need not fear. They can still get their kicks at either the The World Worm Charming Championships or The Grand International Flounder Trampling Championship.Source: Eel-bashing game slapped down in UK...
By Emil Steiner | July 30, 2006; 04:28 PM ET | Comments (2)
Builders Battle Belligerent Baboons
Maybe they had been taunted one time too many, because last week a close knit community of 120 baboons from Knowsley Safari Park outside, Liverpool, England turned the tables on their human masters. It all started when a demolition crew arrived to knock down their old home in order to build a brand new primate enclosure. The monkeys must not have gotten the memo, because they immediately took up an around-the-clock protest, screeching and heckling the workers mercilessly. As a result zoo officials were forced to erect an electric fence to protect them from attacks by irate monkeys. So for the duration of construction, the builders are toiling away in a cage, surrounded on all sides by unhappy members of the baboon community, who stare, point and yell at them.Source: Baboons Make Trouble for Construction Team...
By Emil Steiner | July 29, 2006; 04:34 PM ET | Comments (2)
Sweet Toothed Cops With Sticky Fingers
As if stereotypes of British sugar addiction weren't bad enough, two bobbies were arrested, Friday, on suspicion of pilfering sweets from their own police candy shop. The confectionery at Hailsham Police Station in southern England, had worked on the honor system until authorities began noticing "significant stock loss" and launched an investigation. So far two officers have been suspended and "a number" of others have been taken off field duty pending the outcome of the candy-theft probe.Source: Like taking candy from a bobby...
By Emil Steiner | July 29, 2006; 12:51 PM ET | Email a Comment
The Penile Picasso
The line between art and pornography blurred further, Thursday, when Sydney's 10th Annual Sexpo kicked off with what might be the first on-the-spot portrait by a "penile artist" of a "genital origamist". Tim Patch, aka Pricasso, used his "brush" to paint an acrylic portrait of Justin Morley, known professionally as Alan Length for his work as a penile puppeteer. You might remember the 33-year-old Length's "Puppetry of the Penis" act which toured America in 2001. The phallic art took 10 minutes to complete and was the main attraction at the Sexpo, which is expected to draw a record crowd of 55,000 eager visitors.Source: 'Pricasso's' penile paint brush a masterstroke at Sydney Sexpo ...
By Emil Steiner | July 28, 2006; 09:08 AM ET | Comments (1)
Library Foot Sucker Blames Sociology
Calling your fetish a sociology experiment is about as old as calling pornography art, or calling your shoplifting an excersise in method acting, but that didn't stop Joseph Colella from taking it out for a spin. The 28-year-old stands accused of sucking on a woman's toe at a public library in Boardman, Ohio. Allegedly Colella asked if he could kiss her feet to record her reaction for a sociology project, to which she consented after his repeated badgering. However, when he moved from pecks to full-on sucking, (is that second base?) she pulled her foot away. Colella asked her reaction and she said she was pretty freaked out. The woman, 27, then went to the bathroom, washed her toes and called the cops.Source: Alleged Library Foot Kisser Indicted...
By Emil Steiner | July 27, 2006; 09:04 AM ET | Comments (2)
Brazilan Actor Takes Soap Hostage
On Tuesday, out-of-work actor, Ricardo Dualibi, wearing only a bathing suit, crashed a taping of Brazilian soap opera "Snakes and Lizards", fired off two rounds, and took one person hostage. The gun toting thespian, had been an extra on the show (though it's unclear whether he played a snake or a lizard), and later told police he wanted to draw the studio's attention to his art. Globo television, unaffiliated with either The Globex Corporation or Globo Gym, must not have gotten the message because their security tackled Dualibi who was later charged with attempted murder. Perhaps they should have paid more attention, since the studio audience watched the incident spellbound, thinking, at first, it was Globo's newest soap opera.Source: Jobless actor seizes soap opera stage in Brazil...
By Emil Steiner | July 27, 2006; 08:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Jockey Appologizes For Butting Horse
British jump jockey and Zinedine Zidane imitator, Paul O'Neill apologized, Tuesday, for head butting his horse City Affair. The rather vicious attack took place on July 23rd, prior to the 1510 race in Stratford, England and has been broadcast extensively in Britain. After nearly being tossed, footage shows O'Neill dismount and plant his helmet into the gelding's snout. Though City Affair has made a complete recovery O'Neill still faces a disciplinary hearing on August 3rd. And since Zidane got a 3 game suspension for butting a human being, compulsive gamblers may be scrambling to handicap the over/under on O'Neill's punishment.Source: O'Neill sorry for butting horse...
By Emil Steiner | July 26, 2006; 03:26 PM ET | Email a Comment
Totally Tasteless Wagers
Indian bookmakers from Srinagar to Bangalore were flooded this past weekend with over $33 million in wagers (remember in India the per capita annual income is only $3,400) about whether a trapped 11-year-old boy would make it of an irrigation pit alive. With that in mind, I've put together my list of the Top 5 Most Tasteless Bets Ever Made:5) In 1983 it was reported that five Filipino children died from spider bites in an area where using kids to bet on spider fights was a lucrative trade. It's unclear if they died during 1 single bet or over the course of an evening.4) According to William Hill Sports Book, The Sunday Times of London reported that a hermit had wagered with villagers near Caracas, Venezuela that he could hypnotize and tame a marauding jaguar. The jaguar savaged the hermit to death.3) In 1998, reports surfaced that 59-year-old stunt man Evel Knievel bet the 37-year-old doctor who treated him for...
By Emil Steiner | July 26, 2006; 10:38 AM ET | Email a Comment
Letter Bomber Leaves Return Address
In a possible bid for this year's dumbest criminal, Donald Ray Bilby pleaded guilty, Tuesday, to mailing bomb and anthrax threats to the FBI and Secret Service which included his name and prison ID number. The 30-year-old, New Jersey inmate sent five letters demanding $20,000 be deposited in his jail account so he could make bail. According to U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie: "I think it's fair to say we were not dealing with a great criminal mind here." Source: Inmate includes own name in bomb, anthrax threats...
By Emil Steiner | July 26, 2006; 09:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
French Po-Po Burn Near Record Joint
On Tuesday, cops in eastern France caught three pot heads attempting to break the world record for longest joint. The oddly motivated trio had rolled up 31.5 inches before investigators snagged their spliff-in-progress. According to a police officer "these young people had wanted to craft a joint of 1.12 meters (44.1 inches) to beat the world record in the discipline and get it officially registered." Who knew twisting spliffs was an official discipline?Full Story: FRENCH POLICE THWART JOINT-ROLLING WORLD RECORD ATTEMPT...
By Emil Steiner | July 25, 2006; 02:13 PM ET | Comments (1)
PBS Fires "Technical Virgin"
PBS has fired Melanie Martinez, host of "The Good Night Show" after discovering she starred in a video called "The Technical Virgin" which spoofs abstinence only ads by promoting anal sex as a safe alternative to premarital intercourse (unaffiliated with Bert & Ernie). The producers of "Good Night", which airs soothing stories aimed at getting 2-to-5-year-olds ready for bed, felt "dialog in [the] video [was] inappropriate for her role as a preschool program host." Though they may be correct, is Martinez's departure really worth it to the parents who now face months of potential bedtime tantrums?Source: PBS Kids' Show Host Fired for Video...
By Emil Steiner | July 25, 2006; 12:43 PM ET | Comments (48)
Spoon Players of the World Unite
For some it was a lifelong dream, for most it wasn't, but nevertheless on Tuesday, 435 spoon players gathered in London's Trowbridge area to set a new world record for largest such ensemble of flatware musicians. Technicians of tea, table, and soup sized dippers banged out a rousing rendition of the pub classic "Knees Up Mother Brown" before a rapt audience. Beyond the record, this performance stands out as the most publicity for spoon playing since Soundgarden's innovative 1994 hit "Spoonman" and it's frenetic video.Sources: Spoonman & You, Too, Can Play The Spoons & Spoon players scoop world record...
By Emil Steiner | July 25, 2006; 11:42 AM ET | Email a Comment
Vigilante Nuns On Bikes
When you think of nuns you don't often think of high speed chases (aside from "Nuns On The Run") but all that may change today, thanks to two adventurous anchorites from Amsterdam who pursued a robber on bicycle through a residential neighborhood. It all started when one of the sisters realized the guy snooping outside their chapel was the person who had robbed them earlier, and so using what Shaolin monks might call the Venus Fly Trap Style, she invited him in for a drink while getting her sister to call the police. Realizing he was being set up, the man bike-jacked a passerby and pedaled off. Not missing a beat, the nuns, habits and all, hopped on their bikes and gave chase through the winding streets of South Amsterdam. Though he eventually got away, he'll probably think twice before he robs another convent.Full Story: Nuns Give Chase to Suspected Thief...
By Emil Steiner | July 24, 2006; 02:23 PM ET | Email a Comment
Barry Manilow: Optimistic or Delusional?
Barry Manilow has responded to Rockdale, Australia's use of his music to drive teens from partying in public parks with a brand of deluded spin usually reserved for politicians. According to a statement, he raises the possibility that blasting songs like "Copacabana" from 9:00pm-12:00am on weekends won't scare away kids, (or cause permanent psychosis), but might actually encourage them to "dance around." Despite Mr. Manilow's optimism, the deterrent has been an extremely effective weapon against not just youth related fun, but also the slumber of older, local residents who have filed numerous noise complaints. As a result it may be replaced soon with a motion operated sprinkler system that would hose nighttime party animals without disturbing Mr. Manilow's core audience. This tactic may work too provided there are no R Kelly fans in the park.Sources: Taking Back The Night With Barry Manilow & Council wrong, says Manilow...
By Emil Steiner | July 24, 2006; 10:37 AM ET | Comments (6)
If You Believe, They Used A Pen On The Moon
It turns out Buzz Aldrin's/Homer Simpson's use of an inanimate carbon rod to save the Covair in "Deep Space Homer" was not such a far fetched concept after all. The Daily Mirror of London is reporting that Apollo 11 astronauts accidentally snapped off the switch of a circuit breaker while landing on the moon in 1969. Neil Armstrong and crew would have been trapped there had Buzz not improvised by jamming a ball point pen into the switch's hole to activate liftoff. This means such catch-phrases as "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," and "the eagle has landed" would've been forgotten had a pen not been mightier than a switch.Source: BUZZ HAD TO FIX MOON LANDER WITH BIRO...
By Emil Steiner | July 24, 2006; 09:40 AM ET | Comments (33)
Assault By Handshake
After being convicted, in December, of driving without insurance, Michigan native John Curtis Ridgeway insisted on shaking hands with the assistant prosecutor, the police officer who testified against him, and the courtroom bailiff. Within an hour all 3 got sick and 2 were rushed to hospital suffering from nausea, headaches, numbness, and tingling. Assistant Prosecutor Amanda Swanson claimed she saw the 42-year-old rubbing his palms with a noxious liquid before forcing their hands, and charged him with 3 counts of assault. According to Ridgeway, the liquid was just olive oil, which he uses to anoint "corrupt buildings" and rid them of demons (duh!). His extra virgin alibi must have held water, at least with the jury who acquitted him of all charges.Source: Jury Acquits Man of 'Handshake' Assaults...
By Emil Steiner | July 23, 2006; 05:32 PM ET | Comments (1)
225K Tequila
If dropping 50 bucks on a fifth of Patron seems excessive, this latest indulgence will make you pass out. On Saturday, Tequila Ley .925 (not affiliated with either Frito Lay or Kenneth Ley) announced it had sold a bottle of Aztec Passion Limited Edition for $225,000. The bottle, which is encased in 4.4 pounds of gold and platinum, was purchased by an unnamed collector and is purported to be the most expensive bottle of booze ever sold. Though Guinness has yet to confirm the world record, at $13,235 a shot, it's certainly the most pricey hangover I've ever heard of.Source: Bottle of Tequila Sold for $225,000...
By Emil Steiner | July 22, 2006; 05:50 PM ET | Comments (1)
Drunk Pelican Stumbles Back
Crash, the inebriated pelican who sustained life threatening injuries after slamming into a car's windshield on Pacific Coast Highway, last month, has made a full recovery. On Thursday, Wild Life Care workers released the clumsy seabird back onto Big Corona Beach where it promptly fell beak-first into a pile of rocks. But like it's movie namesake after the Golden Globes, Crash rallied, shaking it's tail before soaring to the heavens.Sources: Accident-Prone Pelican Fumbles Take-Off & Drunk Pelican Hits Car...
By Emil Steiner | July 21, 2006; 02:44 PM ET | Email a Comment
The Tree Selling, Dog Cooking Headmaster
In what could be the most diabolical machination since Mr. Burns blocked out the sun, a Chinese headmaster from in the northeastern province of Heilongjiang, secretly sold off his schools arboretum and then attempted to bribe the other teacher's silence by cooking them a sumptuous feast of dog meat. But the scheme backfired, literally, when the roasting dog burst into flames, incinerating the school's main office and then 10 classrooms containing televisions, computers, printers and textbooks. To date he has been fined $1,252 but a stern letter from PETA may still be forthcoming.Source: Flaming dog meat sets Chinese school afire...
By Emil Steiner | July 21, 2006; 09:39 AM ET | Comments (1)
Police Nab Naked Bird Beater
After a short chase Virginia Beach Police, arrested Juan Lopez, Friday, in one of the more bizarre incidents to date. The 30-year-old was found naked, clutching a pigeon which he had allegedly used to bludgeon a car earlier that evening. According to police, Lopez had broken onto the car owners property and destroyed 2 bird cages, freeing 19 pigeons and chickens and killing 4. It is not clear whether he was "mentally disturbed or under the influence of narcotics," but fans of the movie Friday have good reason to suspect the latter.Source: Police arrest naked man after he flails car with a stolen pigeon...
By Emil Steiner | July 20, 2006; 11:24 AM ET | Comments (1)
Biker Breaks Moving Violation Record
Perhaps he was inspired by Bode Miller (or his national soccer team), because Tuesday night, an Italian scooterist in Turin, shattered the previous record for moving violations with a whopping 144 points in less than 15 minutes. The laundry list of crime includes: not wearing a helmet, riding without rear-view mirrors, speeding, running a red light, not stopping when police ordered, riding the wrong way down city-center streets, riding without lights, riding on pedestrian footpaths, riding without insurance, and worst of all, incorrectly attached license plates. The previous Italian record had stood since April at 116 points in a single night.Source: Italian rider loses 144 license points in 15 reckless minutes...
By Emil Steiner | July 20, 2006; 10:31 AM ET | Email a Comment
Bell Tolls For Screech
If you had your heart set on making a charitable donation to an out-of-work actor who's being evicted, today is your lucky day. Dustin Diamond, better known as Samuel "Screech" Powers from Saved by the Bell, was caught up in an apparent real estate scam, and now is facing foreclosure. Rather than lose his home with dignity, the 29-year-old "comedian" has gone on Howard Stern to bad mouth his broker, (who, according to Diamond, swindled him), and started up a web site in mid-June, hawking tee-shirts in the hopes of raising $250,000 in 30 days. With the deadline fast approaching one can't help but feel he could have raised more money as a showgirl in Vegas.Source: His Story...
By Emil Steiner | July 20, 2006; 09:30 AM ET | Comments (4)
Robber Gets Sauced
First there was Adam, then Newton, and now Thomas Santana of Philadelphia, PA has become the latest hero to harness the awesome power of apples. On Sunday, the 66-year-old, who stands only 5 feet 4 inches tall, foiled a robbery in the East Germantown section of the city, by tackling the 6'1" gunman and beating him over the head with a can of Mott's applesauce. As they struggled two shots were fired but Santana kept cracking away until at last the robber passed out.Source: Customer Subdues Robber With Applesauce...
By Emil Steiner | July 19, 2006; 02:09 PM ET | Email a Comment
Nauseous Advertising
For those of us who want to puke at the amount of commercials invading our culture, US Airways has come up with the perfect cross-promotional remedy. The Arizona based carrier announced plans to sell ad space on their in-flight barf-bags starting in September. After all, what better way to settle your stomach at 40,000 feet than to stare through turbulence at the pasty, white grill of Ronald McDonald?Source: US Airways to Place Ads on Sickness Bags...
By Emil Steiner | July 19, 2006; 11:29 AM ET | Email a Comment
Blinding By Carrot
For years doctors have recommended carrots to promote good vision, but a bizarre assault on Saturday may have resulted in the first ever blinding by carrot. Roderick Vecsey, of Connecticut, stands accused of second degree assault and disorderly conduct for allegedly throwing a carrot at his wife Pamela during a dinnertime argument. The root vegetable struck her left eye which remained blind even after 6 hours of surgery.Full Story: Man Accused of Blinding Wife With Carrot...
By Emil Steiner | July 19, 2006; 10:32 AM ET | Email a Comment
Fire on the Operating Table
Most people accept that surgery involves certain inherent risks: too much anesthetic, forgotten sponges, Junior Mints, but not spontaneous combustion? And yet every year as many as 100 people literally catch fire while under the knife in O.R.s across America. The fires are usually a result of oxygen rich environments and high temperatures but can easily be prevented. Despites this according to the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations, at least 20% result in serious harm to patients.Full Story: Frederick Mother's Burning Inspires Daughter's Activism & SurgicalFire.org...
By Emil Steiner | July 18, 2006; 05:55 PM ET | Email a Comment
Bringing Down The House, Literally
On July 12th, The Mint Chicks, a New Zealand punk band, tore the roof off of historic St. James Theater in Auckland. According to reports, they played such an "exceptionally loud concert" that the vibrations dislodged chunks of the ceiling and plaster moldings which fell and injured two concert goers. The venue, which was built in 1936 (before bong-rattling bass was cool), is being examined to determine whether it is safe to host future rock concerts. In 2001 the St. James' floor collapsed during an Incubus show.Source: Volume of Band Brings Down House At St. James...
By Emil Steiner | July 18, 2006; 11:44 AM ET | Comments (1)
Taking Back The Night With Barry Manilow
City councilors in Rockdale, a suburb of Sydney, Australia have come up with a "halfway over the hill" solution to dissuade teens from partying in Cook Park at night. With the mayor's blessing, they've begun a 6 month trial of blasting Barry Manolo and Doris Day songs at high volume, from 9 p.m. to midnight every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The technique, (similar to what Tony did in episode 52 of The Sopranos), has been hugely successful, although local residents are starting to complain about having "hits" like "Mandy" forced repeatedly onto their weekends.Source: Australians Upset Over Loud Manilow Music...
By Emil Steiner | July 17, 2006; 03:23 PM ET | Comments (2)
DUI Costs Coors His License
On Friday, Pete Coors, president of Molson Coors Brewing Company, had his drivers license revoked for driving under the influence. The 59-year-old, ex-senatorial candidate got nabbed May 29th after failing to stop at a stop sign, and blew a BAC of 0.088 (approximately 2 beers or 4 Coors Lights). This is a far cry from the unofficial record of .727, set by Vidmantas Sungaila of Lithuania, still you'd think Coors'd hire a designated driver, since any cop who reads that last name on a license is probably going to break out the Breathalyzer.Full Story: Beer Baron Coors Loses License for DUI...
By Emil Steiner | July 17, 2006; 10:13 AM ET | Email a Comment
Tripping Trolls
Trolls, the longtime menace of Billy Goats and MySpace teens, have expanded their lurking to the bridges of Boulder, Colorado. On July 7th Robert Hibbs, (who along with Bradley Boville had successfully extorted a $1.00 toll from joggers attempting to cross the intersection of Foothills Highway and Colorado Avenue) accosted an off duty sheriff's deputy who refused to pay. The 19-year-old attacked the sergeant with a broken golf club and was taken into custody where he allegedly insisted he was a troll and claimed the bridge as his own. According to Boville though the dynamic due had just taken too much acid. In an attempt to perhaps take the edge off, they rolled a "big joint" but soon discovered they didn't have a lighter and began asking people for a buck to buy one. A police search later turned up 11 marijuana pipes and bongs, more golf clubs, and the tell tale "joint" rolled out of two one-dollar-bills, meaning if they had rolled a...
By Emil Steiner | July 16, 2006; 10:53 AM ET | Comments (1)
British Cops Stand By Underpants Comment
On Thursday, British police defended their statement in "Safe!" magazine that binge drinking girls should wear nice panties. According to the Suffolk Constable's office, in eastern England, it was an attempt to make a serious point by talking "to women in a language they might understand." The periodical also advices female boozers to stay up-to-date on their waxing because "your skirt or dress may ride up. You could show off more than you intended."Full Story: British police tell boozy women to wear nice knickers & Wear Nice Undies!...
By Emil Steiner | July 14, 2006; 08:13 AM ET | Email a Comment
Teen Sneezes To Death
Next time someone wants to bet it's impossible to sneeze yourself to death, take the bet. According a BBC report, Anthony Dean Rice, of Wales, had been camping with his family last month, in Scarborough, when just such an incident occurred. His father recounted how the 18-year-old "sneezed twice, then there was one tremendous sneeze and he said something had popped in his ear. With that he just collapsed on the floor." Full Story: Teenager died after sneezing fit...
By Emil Steiner | July 14, 2006; 08:00 AM ET | Comments (2)
Police Dog Runs Down Pedestrian
On Thursday, Ranger, a police dog from Ogden, Utah drove a pick-up truck over 41-year-old Mary Stone as she walked to her mail box, fracturing her pelvis and tail bone. The German shepherd had been left behind the wheel with the engine running when it knocked the transmission into drive. Whether this collision was an accident or an escalation of the longstanding canine/postal animosities is yet to be determined.Full Story: Dog Blamed for Hitting Woman With Truck...
By Emil Steiner | July 13, 2006; 02:37 PM ET | Email a Comment
Lehigh Class Pres. Pleads Guilty
Greg Hogan of Huntington Valley, OH was the son of a preacher, second cello in the Lehigh University orchestra, and President of the Class of 2008, when on December 6th he held up a Wachovia bank, nabbing $2,871 before being arrested later that evening during orchestra practice. The 20-year-old pleaded guilty, Wednesday, to felony robbery but blamed online gaming for his crime. Hogan had over $5,000 in poker debt and has since sought treatment for gambling addiction. If convicted he faces up to 3 years in prison.Full Story: Ex-Student Pleads Guilty to Bank Robbery...
By Emil Steiner | July 13, 2006; 11:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
"Idol" Contestant Indicted For Kiddie Porn
Remember Daniel "DJ" Boyd, the sweet-singing heartthrob who made the finals of American Idol 2? Well, now it appears the 27-year-old Utah singer, has followed in the footsteps of R&B legend R-Kelly, allegedly video-taping sexual encounters with 2 teenage girls. Though he won't be facing Simon's wrath, if convicted of child pornography, Boyd will face up to 40-years in prison, where his soft, boyish looks are sure to win him many new fans.Full Story: Former 'American Idol' Contestant Indicted...
By Emil Steiner | July 13, 2006; 09:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
80-Year-Old Crack Dealer
At an age when most folks are trading memory for early bird specials, Felix Cocco of Pittsburgh, PA, traded crack cocaine for hooker sex. The 80-year-old pleaded guilty, Wednesday, to charges of possession of a controlled substance, possession with intent to deliver, and possession of drug paraphernalia. When asked why Cocco claimed "I was trying to stay alive, your honor - pay my bills." His lawyer had more likely excuse: "He decided it's cheaper to pay for sex with crack than cash."Full Story: Pa. Man, 80, Admits Dealing Crack for Sex...
By Emil Steiner | July 13, 2006; 08:00 AM ET | Email a Comment
Aussie Rules Parking
On Wednesday, Robert Kenyon of Brisbane, Australia appeared in court for allegedly beating up a 79-year-old great-grandmother over a parking spot. Police claim the 54-year-old suspect, shoved Patricia White in the back, breaking her nose and 2 ribs, after she refused to give up her space. Kenyon was charged with "serious assault of a person over 60", (not to be confused with "light hearted assault of a person under 20" which involves helping your grandparents set up their DVR over the phone), and released on bail.Full Story: Australian Charged in Parking Rage Case...
By Emil Steiner | July 13, 2006; 07:15 AM ET | Email a Comment
Malaysian Bigamist Fined Livestock
The stigma of plural marriage is no longer just for HBO as Wednesday, an indigenous Borneo tribesman was fined a buffalo and a pig for secretly marrying a second wife. The 39-year-old islander, whose name was withheld for some reason, agreed to dissolve the second marriage and return to his first wife and family. Since his livestock fine is going to wife number 1 anyway, is it fair to say a pig in the hand is worth a wife in the bush? Full Story: Man Is Fined Buffalo and Pig for Bigamy...
By Emil Steiner | July 12, 2006; 08:23 AM ET | Email a Comment
Inmates Sue For Porno
Life in the big house is hard enough, but when the warden takes away your best porno mag, you gotta fight, for your right, to... And that's exactly what 2 inmates did in response to a July 1st ban by Indiana's Department of Correction on all printed material that depicts nudity or sexual content, (including love letters and National Geographic). The lawsuit, filed Tuesday, in U.S. District Court, seeks class-action status on behalf of more than 20,000 state prisoners who, to be frank, are just trying to get a grip on their lives.Full Story: Inmates Sue to Overturn Nude Magazine Ban...
By Emil Steiner | July 12, 2006; 08:01 AM ET | Comments (2)
Painful Predicament
On Friday, Charles "Chick" Lennon, of Providence Rhode Island, won $400,000 for a faulty penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection. The 68-year-old handy-man received a steel and plastic cure for his impotence 2 years before Viagra, but when he tried to put it in the down position the mechanism malfunctioned. Since then he has lived a life of pained seclusion unable to ride a bike, swim or even hug his loved ones.Full Story: Man With Faulty Penile Implant Gets $400K...
By Emil Steiner | June 27, 2006; 01:33 PM ET | Email a Comment
Drunk Pelican Hits Car
On Thursday, a California brown pelican, most likely intoxicated by a naturally occurring toxin from algae, crashed into a car's windshield on Pacific Coast Highway in Orange County. The driver was unhurt but the pelican underwent surgery for a broken foot, and a gash to its pouch. Wildlife experts suspect domoic acid poisoning, which was to blame for the 1961 attack of 1000s of crazed seabirds in Northern California and inspired Hitchcock's movie "The Birds".Full Story: Possibly Drunk Pelican Hits Windshield...
By Emil Steiner | June 27, 2006; 01:24 PM ET | Email a Comment
Drunk Trucker Breaks Record
On Tuesday night in Lithuania, truck driver Vidmantas Sungaila blew a Breathalyzer scoring 18 times the legal alcohol limit. According to police, the 41-year-old who's BAC was .727 "should have been lying dead, but he was still driving." Doctors agree, saying anything above .5 is lethal.Source: Driver Has 18 Times Legal Alcohol Limit...
By Emil Steiner | May 24, 2006; 10:25 AM ET | Comments (1)
