My first figure skating experience
I know you all are very excited about the ladies' free skate, which began just a few minutes ago local time and will air in the United States on Tuesday. So I thought I'd explain why figure skating is the greatest sport in the world: because while you're watching Dick Button inside the NBC studio talking about Sasha Cohen's "little heart-shaped mouth" and how 16-year-olds enjoy "that burst of glorious physical time" and how Emily Hughes is "a bubbly bouncer on the ice," all of the sudden the arena will explode with the "Grand March" from Aida, and a bunch of local skaters carrying trumpets and flags and dressed like gladiators will skate out onto the Olympics' most hallowed playing surface to rehearse their tribute to Italian classical music. I'm telling you, that kind of stuff never happens at college basketball games.
Anyhow, let me go back to the beginning. Seeking to capitalize on the only thing typical American Olympics fans care about beside Shani vs. the Hottie, I figured I'd go to this morning's figure skating rehearsals for tomorrow's figure skating exhibition, and then try to remain in the figure skating arena until someone kicked me out. As I've mentioned, bloggers aren't offered media tickets to the Main Event of Skating; hence the chicanery.
I have never seen live figure skating in my life. Here were my observations from today's meaningless practice for a meaningless exhibition, which sounds like the kind of thing Daniel Snyder could exploit for some serious coin.
There were way more women than men. Way more. There were hundreds of children. Everyone was taking photos. When floppy-haired Italian Karel Zelenka appeared, there were lots of squeals and more flashes. When gold medalist Evgeni Plushenko took the ice, he was accompanied by a male violinist in a green sweater. When Johnny Weir took the ice, he skated around for a while in his CCCP sweatshirt and then went to the side to blow his nose. When Plushenko rehearsed with the violinist a second time, the violinist strolled way out onto the ice, where the blue line would be, then got down on one knee as he violently serenaded Plushenko, head shaking from side to side.
Will this really happen during the actual exhibition, as opposed to the rehearsal for the exhibition? Are the musicians really allowed onto the playing field? Do the skaters ever crash into their musical accompanists? Will the Stanford band be invited?
Also, Plushenko's favorite gesture was this searingly plaintive move wherein he held his arms out, palms open, then slowly and plaintively raised his arms to the air, looking quite plaintive. He needed something from us. He was demanding something from us. We had nothing to give him. That was my interpretation of the maneuver. Every time Plushenko whirled or jumped or breathed, the crowd gave him an ovation. He blew kisses and bowed. The fans stomped.
Seriously, why go to the real exhibition when you can just go to the rehearsal for the exhibition? And why in the world does this stuff get better ratings than curling? I know some of you are figure skating fans. So explain the appeal to me, on this grandest of nights. I'm willing to listen.
By Dan Steinberg |
February 23, 2006; 1:40 PM ET
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Posted by: I luv figure skating! | February 23, 2006 02:04 PM
The guys went last night while the girls went Tuesday night, and tonight we get to find out who America likes and who gets the ol' heave-ho! Can't wait!
Posted by: Meanwhile on Idol | February 23, 2006 02:32 PM
After the first 10 (out of 24) have skated, Yan Lie, Mira Leung, and Elena Sokolova have all turned really good performances - each scoring around 95. None will end up with medals, but they're setting a high standard indeed early on. Stay tuned for more spoilers, er, results...
Posted by: Early Results | February 23, 2006 02:36 PM
Survivor or American Idol tonight? WWDD? (What would Dan do?)
Posted by: What to do? | February 23, 2006 02:37 PM
If curling requires a "pebbled" surface, and if some Wiseguy was able to swap out the figure skating Zamboni with the curling Zamboni, would mayhem ensue?
Posted by: The Curling Zamboni | February 23, 2006 02:46 PM
If the male figure skaters were as cute as the Swiss male curling team, I would have cared more. If they were half as cute as Joel from Italy (mitt der mullet und das glasses), I'd be happy as well.
Scotty Hamilton and Elvis Stoyko were the last time I cared about male figure skaters.
The gals never fail to satisfy. They combine power and grace.
I think whether you like this or not depends on what your idea of fun is. Do you prefer strategy or beauty?
Note to the mischievous ice pebbler: pebbled ice is designed to make the ice less slippery. You'd ruin the skating competition. Both Sasha and Shani would be pissed at you and you wouldn't want that.
Posted by: sue | February 23, 2006 05:03 PM
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So anyway GW beat La Salle 77-65 after overcoming a knee injury to Pops Mensah-Bonsu in the 1st half, extending their win streak to 15. Good times! Pops will be examined today - stay tuned...