Virginia Woolf made famous women's need for A Room of One's Own. We've come a long way since 1929 when the book came out. Now we're all getting a room of our own -- to pump breastmilk at work. And it's about time; reading comments on Mommy Track'd about bosses barging in or co-workers wondering what you're doing in the bathroom for an hour is enough to show you why.

According to yesterday's Washington Post Health section, a new D.C. law joins Maryland, Virginia and federal laws that protect a woman's right to breastfeed and pump at work. The Child's Right to Nurse Act requires employers to provide a private, clean space, presumably with an electrical outlet, for pumping breastmilk. The room must be located outside a restroom; anyone who has pumped on a toilet seat understands why this clause is critical.

If your company doesn't comply, tell them what Wiley Rein law partner Todd Bromberg told the Post: "Ninety-nine percent of all employers can do this without any hardship at all." Many companies apparently agree. Many offices and project sites at consulting firm Accenture offer lactation rooms and/or health suites. The firm, which has more than 170,000 employees in 150 cities worldwide, also makes available advice from lactation consultants and offers discounts through its LifeWorks program to purchase or rent lactation supplies.

Roughly 50 percent of employees at PriceWaterhouseCoopers are women, and the firm has "Mother's Rooms" in every employee location -- a private space with a refrigerator, comfortable couches, and, of course, electrical outlets, according to Jennifer Allyn, Managing Director, Office of Diversity. PWC also subsidizes a top-of-the-line breast pump for female employees and the spouses of male employees. Law firm Hogan & Hartson provides a company lactation suite; other solutions have included converting an office, a basement room, and even one creative woman who pumped in a phone booth (before the D.C. law was passed).

I was lucky at Johnson & Johnson in New Jersey, where I could close my door and have my own lactation suite (although a male co-worker busted in once -- and boy did he regret it). There was a shared employee fridge to keep the milk fresh until I could take it home. J&J now has a program called NurtureSpace that supports breastfeeding moms; as part of the program, some sites have established private lactation rooms where breastfeeding moms can express milk. These rooms include a locked door, electrical outlets for equipment and a comfy chair. Moms also have access to a support network of peer support counselors to help them with breastfeeding issues -- and to get the advice and encouragement they need to continue breastfeeding.

By the time I got to The Post, I didn't pump at work. By baby #3 I'd figured out I didn't need to pump so often to keep up my milk supply -- my body adjusted to breastfeeding in the morning and night, plus an occasional quick trip a few blocks over to the daycare center at noon. The rub came when I traveled. I've pumped in airport bathrooms, hotel rooms, and at one sales conference in a golf course clubhouse manager's office. Nutty -- but worth it.

What about you? Where have you breastfed? What's been your biggest challenge? What are your solutions to juggling work, babies and breastfeeding? Have you ever had to fight the good fight to get your employer to provide a clean, safe place for women to pump?

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

Last week, oil prices hit another record high, topping $126 a barrel and leading to a new rash of stories about gasoline spurting over $4 a gallon. Coincidently, my company opened a DC office last week, meaning that I'll be commuting (by car, rail and bike) at least part-time from now on. And that gave me plenty of time to think - while I sat in my car - about the green side of telecommuting.

I've spent time in this space talking about the selfish reasons why telecommuting works from a business point of view and enables better work-life balance, but the time has come to talk the trend seriously from an environmental perspective.

The folks at undress4success.com, a site focused on working from home, estimated that getting the 40 percent of Americans who could work from home off of the roads and into a home office would save 625 million barrels of oil a year, spare the atmosphere from 100 million tons of carbon dioxide and save us all $43 billion in gas costs.

You can take the analysis even further. Get people to teleconference and you have an impact on airplane emissions, and enough people working virtually means fewer buildings to power, heat and cool. But you don't even have to go that far. Teleworking even one day every two weeks should theoretically cut gas usage by 10 percent, which is hardly marginal.

Yet despite the frenzied coverage of the steady rise in gas prices (and the growing coverage of environmentally friendly lifestyle changes), there has been little chatter about employers looking at telecommuting as a way of taking the burden off their employers and the planet. The exceptions -- like the Virginia Department of Taxation -- seem thrilled with the arrangement.

Since all of you tend to be great about looking for ways to both help the planet and promote work-life balance, I'm curious if anyone has used the green line of argument to push for more common-sense telecommuting options at work. Have you seen any employers become more open on this or -- even better -- moved to encourage working from home on environmental grounds?

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

Note to Readers: Guest blogs are on a short hiatus. Look for them to return in a few weeks.

Ahhh ... those blissful early days of motherhood. My boobs looked large enough to feed half of Detroit. Flaps of fat swung around my belly like leftover gefilte fish. I was afraid to look down below; a simple trip to the potty required an inflatable donut, a sitz bottle of warm water, and endless courage. I cried like a wild animal when dusk fell. I screamed at my husband when he brought me a fax from work. A glance at the baby's umbilical cord brought me to tears.

And then there was the Village, who days before had treated me like the Pregnancy Goddess of the Planet. My mother-in-law admonished us, after three days, that she didn't feel "involved" in her grandson's life. My excited younger sister drove six hours to meet her nephew -- but she had Strep throat so I wouldn't let her into the house. Hordes of eager visitors stormed our house with advice on every decision I made. They wanted to hold the baby (oh, the germs!) and take endless pictures, the flash startling (and I feared, permanently blinding) our newborn.

And I had an easy baby who slept 20 hours a day and nursed the other four.

I sure could have used your advice back then. So here, for all you new moms, is the collective wisdom from On Balance readers.

Top 10 Tips for Surviving Early Motherhood With Your Sanity Intact

1. Be as organized as possible before the baby comes home. Don't wait until you are nine months pregnant to buy diapers and wipes, install the car seat, put together the bassinet/crib, have some clothes washed and ready, etc. The last thing you want to do when you arrive home from the hospital is have to go shopping or assemble furniture. Ditto for child care: visit places or interview caregivers as far in advance as possible. You don't want the stress of doing this with a newborn, and many places have long wait lists.

2. Go easy on yourself, and expect the first few weeks after giving birth to be exhausting. The baby may need to feed every two hours. You won't be sleeping much. You will be tired all the time. Plan for this. It takes at least six weeks to master any aspect of parenting. You would never expect to walk into a new job and instantly know how to work the equipment, navigate the politics and know exactly who to go to for all the answers. Parenting is about learning on the job, making mistakes, forgiving yourself, and moving on to the next phase.

3. Nothing is more important than developing a relationship with and understanding of your new baby. Not visitors, not housework, not the drive to breastfeed, nothing. All of these may be things you planned to do, but follow your instincts as you get to know who this new little person really is.

4. Accept help in any form! One of the most important things is to encourage your husband to be as involved as possible, including taking paternity leave. You will need the support, and he will need the time to bond with your baby. If relatives or friends want to come stay with you to help out, arrange for them to come help you after your spouse goes back to work, not right when the baby arrives. When family or friends ask what they can do, take them up on it in ways that you find helpful (which is sometimes different than what they want to do). Have mother or MIL bring over precooked meals, do laundry, or watch the baby for a couple of hours while you nap. And if have any inkling that you need professional help, due to postpartum depression, a clogged milk duct, bleeding, insomnia or any other medical reason, ask for help -- immediately.

5. Don't worry if the house is a mess. You'll get back to normal eventually (in 20 years).

6. Figure out how many people you want around during the first few weeks, and under what circumstances. Your family and friends will want to be there, but they should be willing to give you space as well. Make your rules clear: no one arrives before breakfast, or everyone leaves before dinner, etc. Provide a list of convenient hotels, if you would rather have the house (and the baby) to yourself. It's OK to tell people you don't want visitors.

7. Fill the freezer with easy-to-make meals. You will forget to eat, so when you do remember, make eating nutritiously easy on yourself. Fill-the-freezer is a great shower theme, too.

8. Every day: Take a shower, brush your teeth, put on clean clothes, and go outside for a few minutes. Sounds simple, but these steps may save your sanity. At the same time, forget about your body for a while. Make sure you have some clothes to wear at first. Maternity clothes will be too big but your regular clothes will be too small. Yoga pants and big, button-down shirts are your friend. You have bigger priorities than the size of your butt.

9. Divide and conquer. It is silly for you, your spouse, your sister and your mom to do everything for the baby together. If the baby is sleeping, try to sleep; let someone else take the next shift. If you are nursing, have your spouse sleep while you feed the baby, so he can be rested when you need a break. If you are formula or bottle feeding, take turns.

10. Surrender to your lack of control, and try to enjoy the first weeks, which seem grueling and terrifying, but can be sweet (and brief). You have no idea how you will recover from labor, the problems facing your baby, etc. You can read all you want and still not be prepared for every possibility, for the postpartum hormones raging through your body, or for your mixed emotions upon becoming a mother. Maybe for the first time in your life, you just have to go where life takes you. When you are up in the wee hours of the morning with a tiny baby, let yourself feel the sweetness and wonder of that little person who depends on you for everything. Listen to her breathe and enjoy the beauty of your new life together.

Next week: Is it better to return to work when your kids are infants, teenagers, out of the house, or never? Send me your pros and cons for going back to work at different stages of parenthood so I can include them in next Monday's Top 10 Tips.

I recently had the pleasure of joining the Mocha Moms on National Public Radio's Tell Me More program to discuss how our moms shape us as mothers and what gifts we'd like to pass on to our children, in honor of the upcoming 100th Mother's Day on Sunday.

I talked about an epiphany I had when I started my anthology Mommy Wars, which explores the challenges women face in juggling work and family, I didn't ask any of the 26 contributors to write about their own mothers. But all 26 did anyway. I learned a good lesson: Our stories of motherhood start with our own moms. Sometimes we replicate what our moms did right; at times we rebel against their mistakes. But our mothers imprint upon us a template of motherhood that sticks with most women for our entire lives.

I was lucky that my mom took to motherhood easily, giving birth naturally and breastfeeding in the 1960s when both were rarities. She openly enjoyed being around her four young children. She took us for long hikes, read to us for hours, and let us adopt any pets we wanted (including a skunk, a raccoon, snakes, mice, cats, fish, turtles, and a monkey). She found us fascinating and relished our company. Her easy, confident approach to motherhood helped me immeasurably 32 years later when I first became a mother.

I also learned from her mistakes. Despite how much she liked raising young children, after ten years her frustrations as a stay-at-home mom were plain to see. She eventually went back to school and became a full-time teacher specializing in the demanding field of educating children with autism. As a teenage witness to her joy of teaching, I learned early on that many women need to juggle work and time with their children in order to be truly happy.

I couldn't appreciate one of my mom's later gifts -- at the time. After three decades of marriage, she and my father called it quits. Although my mother had made years of sacrifices for his career as a successful attorney, my father was less than generous with proposals for financial settlement. Instead of quietly accepting divorcee poverty, my mother fought for herself, arguing that she deserved to be taken care of financially, given her long-term support dating back to my father's days in law school. At only 22 myself, I was bewildered and, at times, embarrassed by her insistence. Their fights, over the phone, in person and in court, were far from genteel. But now I am grateful to Mom for standing up for herself and proving that her years of child care and stay-at-home motherhood merited respect, financially and otherwise.

What about you? This Mother's Day, tell us what your mother taught you about balancing life and parenthood. What gifts do you hope to impart to your children? Happy Mother's Day, everyone.

Note: On Balance is taking Friday off.

According to The Wall Street Journal in How Stay-at-Home Moms Are Filling an Executive Niche:

"Lots of employers would like to be able to hire cheap, temporary teams of seasoned pros with experience managing $2 billion investment portfolios, running ad campaigns or earning Ph.D.s in neuroscience,"

I agree -- although I'm stupified that corporate America has been so slow to locate these ideal teams of temp employees, since all of us know where to find them: the local playground. Welcome to a new acronym, the mommy "SWAT team": Smart Women With Available Time. This moniker describes just about every stay-at-home mom I know, high voltage, seasoned employees who are taking time off to raise our kids.

"What's different about these teams is that they're available on short notice because the women are usually at home; they tend to work cheap because their main motive is to keep their skills fresh; and they're often extraordinarily well-qualified, having left the work force voluntarily when their careers were on the ascent."

The new trend among highly-educated women to stay home with kids marks a new kind of empowerment, says Mary Naylor, a mom herself and CEO of VIPDesk, an Alexandria, Va., company with several hundred "team members" who primarily work full time and part time from home, providing virtual call center and concierge services to the customer service industry.

"High-powered career women have decided they would rather have the flexibility of working from home, when they want, around their children's schedule, instead of working 50+ hours per week on someone else's schedule," explains Naylor. "The work-at-home industry, fueled by well-educated, hard-working stay-at-home moms, is poised to boom given the current economic trends, where companies need flexible, cost-effective employee solutions."

Usually, a lousy economy has not favored women balancing paid employment and raising children, since companies have greater negotiating leverage during times of economic slowdown. Most advances for working women came during World War II and the mid-1980s and 1990s when unemployment was low and demand for skilled workers, of either gender, was high. But now, perhaps for the first time, we're seeing a soft economy coupled with women's flexibility turn into a potential advantage for SWAT moms.

What's your take? Do you see evidence of the rise of SWAT moms? Have you hired a SWAT team? Would you like to join one?

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

The usually spot-on "Brazen Careerist" Penelope Trunk dropped a bomb on my little corner of the blogosphere last week, putting up an anonymous guest post from an at-home dad who she said was "more honest with me about his life than any other stay-at-home dad I know." The honesty in the guest post that followed was mostly in the form of a confession of sorts about the time he cheated (or almost cheated ... it's not entirely clear).

Trunk ends the piece by asking "Why do women hit on stay-at-home dads?"

That question alone is more intriguing than the answer, which is that at-home dads -- in the experience of the many, many fathers I know -- don't get propositioned at all. They don't even end up in uncomfortable situations. But a quick glance at pop culture suggests the opposite: At-home dads must either be on the make or be targets for women who are, from the almost-affair in "Mr. Mom" to the core plot element of "Little Children." In real life, full-time fathers ain't kissing Kate Winslett by the swings.

Everyone wants to build strong, cheat-proof marriages, but assuming that family roles is linked to adultery is a stretch. Playdates are not a refuge for those looking for a cheap thrill. And on the flip side, I've bounced around to my fair share of business conferences and haven't seen much evidence that frequent business trips make for a wandering eye, either. It seems to be that relationship problems are independent of where you are from 9 to 5.

Still, I can't claim any direct -- or even indirect -- experience with adultery, so I'll give you all the last word: Have any of you seen any evidence that the job -- be it at-home parenting or a position in the paid workforce -- can raise the risk of cheating?

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

Note to Readers: Guest blogs are on a short hiatus. Look for them to return in a few weeks.

In 12 years raising three kids, I've sent my children to four different day-care centers in three states and hired at least 25 babysitters. I used full-time day care when my children were infants, as well as a patchwork of relatives, friends and paid in-home care. Our primary babysitter moved from Minnesota to D.C. with us, staying for seven years total. Finding -- and keeping -- good child care is one of the hardest, most critical, least understood components to working parenthood. You simply cannot go to work, or do a good job once you get there, without it.

Here are my (and On Balance readers') top 10 tips for finding -- and maintaining -- high quality child care.

1. Spend the time to figure out what kind of care you need. The costs, advantages and disadvantages vary: day care, home-based center, live-in nanny, live-out nanny, nanny share, au pair, your mother, you. Take time to prioritize your wishes and your family's needs. Make a chart of costs and the pros and cons, to figure out which options are best for your family. Ask parents you respect for recommendations and visit several options. Finding good care is a process that's rarely accomplished within a few days or weeks. Accept that there is no "right" answer, and that your needs may change over time as your family grows and your work/kids juggling act evolves.

2. Trust your instincts. I once walked out of an acclaimed, accredited day-care center after five minutes, knowing from the looks on the children's faces that I couldn't leave my kids there. Don't overlook the obvious: Make sure the care facility is clean, well-organized, and safe, and look for signs that the staffers actually like children. Spend time there without your child(ren) to see how parents, employees and kids interact. When you've done your research, make your own decision. Don't rely too heavily on anyone else's opinion, experience or an agency's rating. Everybody has biases, and your situation is unique -- no other family will have the same combination of baby's temperament, your work situation, your partner's work situation, where you live, where you work, your expectations of child care, etc. At the end of each day you need to be comfortable that your choice is the right one for your family -- not the right one for someone else.

3. Trust your children's instincts. If your child doesn't bond with a caregiver, the arrangement won't work. Ask your child about their caregiver(s) -- as soon as they can talk! If your child likes a caregiver, weigh that heavily. I once hired a babysitter my son loved at first sight, even though I knew she wasn't terribly industrious or punctual. But she was sweet, responsible and loving, and since my son was only two years old, that mattered much more than whether she folded laundry while he napped or showed up 10 minutes late each morning.

4. Pay as much as you can. Child-care workers, whether they are day-care employees, private nannies, or the teen-aged babysitter next door, are rarely paid well. They deserve fair wages for providing such important care. Plus, your call will be the one they return first if you make a habit of paying and tipping generously.

5. In addition to financial respect, treat good caregivers with other kinds of respect -- and look for a center with low turnover, a clear sign of a respectful workplace. Pick up your kids or come home when you say you will. Thank caregivers often and with sincerity. Work out a generous vacation plan and sick day policy if you have private care. Pay on time. Treat them as a partner in raising your children. You will save yourself -- and your children -- the tumult of turnover. And you send a signal that caring for children is a job worthy of respect.

6. Convenience matters, especially in a place you will be going to and from twice a day. Find a place that is as close as possible to your house and both spouses' work places. When evaluating options, think about your child's temperament, schedule and habits, any plans you have for more children, and your workplace requirements. Don't assume that all places can adjust to your schedule. You have to be flexible to a certain degree, too; but you should find a place that is willing to work with you on the most critical issues, such as a need for early or late pick up, a sibling preference policy, or any slightly unusual needs, like allowing a favorite grandparent or aunt to visit. Some places are fine with flexibility, others thrive on a tight organization.

7. Have a back-up childcare plan. Stuff happens: Nannies quit, your child gets sick, centers close, day cares have teacher training days. Figure out in advance what you're going to do when your child-care arrangement implodes, for a day, a week, or longer-term basis. Keep a list of phone numbers and e-mail addresses at home and at work. A good backup plan will minimize trauma for your child and your balancing act.

8. Get to know all caregivers, parents and kids. You learn a lot about parenting from talking to them about what's going on at day care. Also, if you need backup care on days the center is closed or at night, or when your caregiver is ill or on vacation, other parents, nannies or employees make a good network to tap into.

9. Get organized. Take a few minutes each night to make sure your child's bag is packed, bottles are made, snacks are set, etc. There are few more disruptive annoyances than getting a call on your way to work after drop-off telling you that your child doesn't have formula, a change of clothes, or field trip permission slip that he needs that day.

10. Excise your guilt. If you feel badly about using child care, your child will internalize your guilt and possibly presume it's his or her fault. Studies show that quality care helps children bond with other caring adults and children in productive, healthy ways that strengthen a child's self-esteem and self-reliance. Teaching your child to trust others (and himself) is part of good parenting. Watch out for surprise guilt -- it's OK if your child is the last one in his room to get picked up sometimes; one-on-one time with the teacher can sometimes be a special treat. Remember to make drop off -- and pick up -- a joyous transition in your and your child's daily routine.

Next week: Send me your Tips for Not Losing Your Sanity The First Few Weeks of Motherhood so I can include them in next Monday's Top 10 Tips.

Oh, the joys of Friday. No serious teeth-gnashing topics today. Let's talk about...bumper stickers and balance.

Driving my kids around D.C., to and from doctors' appointments, school and play dates, I've been reading the bumper stickers on cars, imagining the drivers inside.

"Soccer mom," one sticker said in deadpan black and white type.

"Soccer dad -- and proud of it!" a truck cheerfully declared in fire engine red.

My favorite, sure to slow my blood pressure: a cool blue and white Co-Exist, with each letter depicting a different religious symbol.

My car doesn't say anything. The closest I've gotten to a bumper sticker were two McDonald's Happy Meal Brats with pink and orange hair that I superglued onto my old Ford Expedition in the spot where luxury cars show off their elegant metal symbols. The Brats made a lot of bystanders laugh before they fell off in a snowstorm last winter. I like to think they declared: "Motherhood is a comedy, and the mom inside this car is laughing at small things to stave off insanity."

So today's topic: If you could create a bumper sticker that captured your approach to balancing work, family and life, what would yours be?

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

This is apparently the season for at-home dads to consider returning to work. First, M.P. Dunleavey penned a piece for the New York Times about her at-home husband's impending move to go back to work full time. Then, The Washington Post Health Section, Mark Trainer raised the question of when his stint at home would end.

Both Dunleavey and Trainer make similar points by the end of their respective pieces: At-home dads rarely see their gig as open-ended. There is a point at which almost every at-home dad decides that re-entry back into the workforce is inevitable. Dunleavey even goes one step further, suggesting that perhaps the eventual return to the workforce is taken more seriously if you're an at-home dad than an at-home mom:

In all my musings about the difference between the lives of male and female breadwinners, this is one I hadn't considered. There are many women who are willing to run their homes, open-ended. I have not been able to find any research on this topic, but I suspect most men view the position as a stopover.

That most at-home dads have an exit strategy is not particularly surprising. The Wall Street Journal just ran a Q-and-A about a dad's transition, and each year at the At-Home Dad Convention, the most-packed session is inevitably the one on transitioning back to paid work.

All of this is anecdotal support for the idea that dads see the at-home thing as more temporary than moms in the same position. But I'm not so sure that's a safe assumption. Yes, today's at-home dads may see their gig as limited in duration, but it seems like most moms I know expect to transition at some point, too. This seems to be a generational thing: I remember plenty of moms from my childhood who never really re-entered the workforce.

So I'll throw it out to you: Do you current at-home parents -- moms and dads -- expect to re-join the paid workforce at a specific point in time? And if you've already made that move, what precipitated it?

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

My Southern Baptist father and WASP mom raised us kids with exposure to many religions -- I went to Catholic, Presbyterian and Jewish services with relatives and family friends -- but they invoked little religious influence. I'm technically Presbyterian and I married someone Jewish; our kids are "half and half," which so far has worked out fine in our non-denominational urban universe.

So I guess I am naturally baffled by parents who feel it is their right to "force" children to abide by their religious choices, such as an Oregon case earlier this year that attracted national attention when the Oregon Supreme Court blocked a divorced former Southern Oregon man from circumcising his 12-year-old son against the wishes of the boy's mother.

According to the Oregonian, the court ruled that the trial judge failed to determine whether the boy wanted to have the procedure -- a voice of reason here since it's obvious to me that a 12-year-old is old enough to weigh in on decisions affecting his body. The custodial parent, James Boldt, who converted to Judaism several years ago, argued that he, as the boy's father, has wide latitude to make decisions for his son. The child's mother, Lia Boldt, says that circumcision is dangerous and that her son is afraid to say he doesn't want the procedure. The court ordered the case back to the lower court trial judge to determine the boy's wishes, with a decision expected later this year.

So I wonder: Does religious freedom apply within the nuclear family? Other than tradition passed down within male-dominated cultures where wives and children were considered chattel of men, why do modern parents believe we hold the right to force our children to practice certain religious beliefs? Why don't we expose our children to multiple religions without picking one, and them let them decide for themselves as adults -- as we do with most important decisions, such as careers, spouses and where to live?

Most Western civilizations no longer force women or children to marry against their will or follow orders from the patriarchal forces in the family. Why does religion, at times, seem to be an exception? Or is sharing your religious beliefs with your children simply part of being a loving, supportive parent?

Maybe my parents, through their lack of religious beliefs, did technically "force" their near-atheism on me as a child. How could they not? Parental rights aside, do parents invariably influence their children's religion? Where does the line between influence and coercion lie? Do you have religious beliefs different from your parents's? Has your religion ever been questioned or rejected by your parents? Do you believe one of your parental rights is to choose a religion for your children?