We've Raised A 'Me' Generation

My friend, Ann, a full-time working mom from New York whose kids are a few years older than mine, once warned of the perils of showering my kids with Baby Mozart, 24/7 flash card drills, and "help" such as doing their homework, cooking separate meals like a short-order chef and excusing them from household chores. "The world doesn't cater to individuals like that, and kids raised with too much attention have a really hard time once they get out of the house on their own."

Turns out she's right. However, it's us moms -- working, stay-at-home and everything in between -- who pay the price, not our pampered kids (at least as long as we are alive to keep indulging them). The Wall Street Journal Weekend Edition (subscription required) ran an article I found horrifying on Saturday describing the "Me Mother's Day" where 20- and 30-something kids bought themselves presents to honor their moms on Mother's Day.

The article says that Jeffrey Levy, 26, of Washington, D.C., bought himself laser hair removal for Mother's Day, saying "She'll be glad I did it." Yelena Leshchinsky, 25 of Atlanta, bought herself a health-club membership and was giving mom a tour of the gym as her Mother's Day gift. Wow! So thoughtful. Evan Frankel, 27, joined an online dating service, explaining that it is his mom's dream to see him get married.

Meanwhile, the May 22 issue of Newsweek reports on "The Fine Art of Letting Go," about baby boomer helicopter parents who invested so much in their kids that releasing their children into adult life is a traumatic rite-of-passage -- for the parents. The kids boomerang right back home -- the "Boomer Files" reports that 48% of college students graduating in 2006 say they will move back into their parents' home after graduation. Today's kids mature later -- 27 is the median age of marriage for both sexes now; in 1950 it was 22 for men and 20 for women. In 1960, 77% of women had left home, married and had kids by age 30; in 2000, only 46% of women had done the same. What are we doing to our kids, and to ourselves?

At times it seems to me that there's a backlash coming from the supermom movement, where so many of us women became convinced we need to do it all -- work full-time, keep the house sparkly clean, tone and sculpt our bodies, raise uber kids. But I've always feared our kids would pay the price. Now I think a dose of selfishness and "slacker mom" attitude is probably a whole lot healthier for everyone.

The only "gift" reported in the Journal that showed a kid thinking of someone besides himself was Evan Jones, 22, who moved out of his mother's house in Guilford, Conn., on Mother's Day. "Moving out of the house is probably the best gift I could give her," he said.

washingtonpost.com Update: Leslie has posted in the comments.

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  May 16, 2006; 8:29 AM ET  | Category:  Raising Great Kids
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