30 Going On 13

Welcome to the Tuesday guest blog. Every Tuesday "On Balance" features the views of a guest writer. It could be your neighbor, your boss, your most loved or hated poster from the blog, or you! Send me your entry (300 words or fewer) for consideration. Obviously, the topic should be something related to balancing your life.

By Sara Fisher

Being a new mom is a little like being in middle school. You have bad hair days all the time, you hate your body and are nervous that you won't "fit in."

This is exacerbated for me because I work part time, approximately 25-30 hours per week spread over three days. I can't just meander the streets with my baby and meet new mom friends randomly. If I want to make the most of my "mom" role, I need to structure my days off to stay in the loop with my non-working new mom friends (NMFs) so I can spend my days off doing fun stay-at-home mom activities! I have to be proactive about my new mom life. I need a plan.

This reminds me of what I was like as a young teen: insecure and worried I wasn't going to get asked to the 8th grade dance. I try to shake off the middle school ghosts and I call two of my NMFs. I ask if they want to meet my son and me in the park. We all agree 4ish works.

I whisk my son out of his crib as soon as he makes a peep, feed him and we're out the door at 3:50. Things are great. The sun is out, my kid's fed, I have two NMFs to meet. Couldn't ask for more.

I put my son in the swing. It's 4:15. Then 4:25. I meet another mom in the park. More swinging. 4:30. My son has clearly had enough swing time. Where are my NMFs!??

Rule #1: Don't stalk your NMFs. You don't want to scare them.

Rule #2: Kids are unpredictable; NMFs even more so.

4:40. I put my son back in his stroller. I'm ready to leave. Just then, NMF #1 shows up. I pretend that I'm not ready to leave. I lie so that I can hang out with my NMF. Five minutes later, NMF #2 shows up. Her daughter didn't want to nap, so they were late. Of course it wasn't personal!!

At 5:00, I have to leave; the hour my son has spent in the swing is getting to him. I've crossed the line of being a good, "proactive" mom. Then I realize being a new mom is nothing like being in middle school. Because now it doesn't matter how bad my hair looks or how ugly I feel in my body. Now I have something bigger and so much better to be concerned about. Whenever I'm with my son, wherever we are, I'm already at the dance.

Sara Fisher is a senior manager for a public relations firm and lives with her husband and son in Chicago. In an exception to the On Balance policy of running only original material, this entry is adapted from a post on Sarah's blog.

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  October 31, 2006; 9:30 AM ET  | Category:  Guest Blogs
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