In Praise of the At-Home Dad Convention

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

Humorist Dave Barry once warned that giving men responsibility for housework was a recipe for disaster. "The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now," he wrote. "They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything."

When I heard of the National At-Home Dad Convention, I felt a certain inescapable curiosity -- could this be the farce Barry warned about? The idea that my peers absolutely required a weekend of keynote speakers and breakout sessions to keep current with the latest fathering trends struck me as inherently silly. I had to see it for myself.

So about four years ago, I attended my first convention, arriving at the conference site -- a sprawling community college in the Chicago suburbs, rather than Bermuda -- prepared for the absurd. I wasn't disappointed. Amid the trappings of professional life, the PowerPoint presentations and the notepads and pencils, the meeting was notable for its general zaniness. One dad grabbed a guitar and sang a number about his impending vasectomy, another warned of the perils of playing James Brown for his toddler.

But for the next three years, I was pulled to the convention again and again. It wasn't that the program ever sounded stellar. Instead, I realized that the event offered a solution to the isolation of the at-home father.
Isolation takes many forms. It's hard to explain it to the guys on my old softball team, and even the wonderful, accepting, forward-thinking mothers in my neighborhood can't quite relate to it. But other at-home fathers understand isolation perfectly, and that's what makes the convention powerful. It's a vaccination against isolation, a reminder that there are lots of guys in the same position, however rare at-home dads seem to be when we saunter into the coffeeshop or the playground.

I won't be making the trip this year. With a new job and a new kid and obligations piling up quicker than I can write 'em down, it's not in the cards, and I'll miss it. After a decade, the convention has lost its sponsor and its traditional meeting space. But rather than fading away, a dedicated group of guys has worked for the last 10 months to get new space, new sponsors and pull together the most robust program I've seen. It's in Kansas City on Nov. 11.

If you are an at-home dad, it's well worth the trip -- Southwest flies to KC from BWI. Tell 'em Rebel Dad sent you.

The convention site is www.athomedadconvention.com and discounted registration is still available.

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

By Brian Reid |  October 5, 2006; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  Dads
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