Wynonna on Motherhood

I spent two days last week in Kentucky with 2,000 other women at the annual Toyota In The Interest of Women conference. One high point was our lunch speaker, country music star Wynonna Judd, who I (embarrassingly) kept referring to as Winona Ryder (a terrible gaffe in Kentucky, Judd's home state). While I'm not a lifelong country music fan, Judd's voice is angelic, and I was impressed by the fact that Wynonna has sold over 30 million records. And I was very impressed by Judd's wisdom about balancing work and kids (she has three).

Every mother's curse is being torn between work and family. Wow. Although the subject has been my primary focus for the last five years, I've yet to have someone describe the work/kids struggle so pessimistically. Good to know (I guess) that even the rich and famous are fighting inner mommy wars, too.

Striving for perfection is the highest form of self abuse you can inflict on yourself. Almost all of us try to be "perfect" parents at some point. Trying to be a perfect parent is pointless, I realized. Kids want to know they're loved and supported, sure -- but if you try to be perfect, you stress out, burn out, and send your kids the misguided message that they need to be perfect, too.

Better to fail on your terms than succeed on someone else's. This applies to work as well as parenthood, but it's hard to convince your boss of it!

Tell your kids the world is a better place because they're in it. Tell yourself, too. A simple, priceless message.

Wynonna closed the lunch by singing a new song, "Peace in This House," a lullaby about a mom promising her kids a happier home life. As she sang I remembered something I read recently about American moms' No. 1 desire: more peace in their lives. Not more money, not more time, not more liposuction. Peace.

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  October 23, 2006; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  You Go Girl!
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