A Soldier's Wife

Terrible news out of North Carolina last week: The wife of a soldier serving overseas killed herself and her two young children by sitting in a car and running the engine inside their garage, according to a Cumberland County Sheriff's Department spokeswoman in Fayetteville, N.C.

Faye Johnson Vick, 39, 2-year-old Jason and 3-month-old Madison were found dead Tuesday afternoon in the car. Autopsies on Wednesday showed that the cause of death was carbon-monoxide poisoning. Vick's husband, Lt. Col. Jason Vick, had been deployed to Iraq since August, the same month his daughter Madison was born. Vick, commander of a supply battalion in the dangerous Anbar province, had already served tours of duty in Afghanistan and elsewhere in the Middle East, including in Qatar and Saudi Arabia, said Col. Billy Buckner, a Fort Bragg spokesman.

A local North Carolina station's Web site, WRAL.com, reported that Faye Johnson Vick had a history of postpartum depression. Experts estimate one in 10 new moms experience PPD, and that 70 percent go through some sort of emotional stress. In June, our Guest Blog Down Will Come Mama described one woman's experience with (and recovery from) postpartum depression.

I remember what it was like to be a temporarily-single parent caring for two kids under two years old. I spent 1998 pregnant, working full-time, caring for a toddler (and then a toddler and a newborn) while my husband lived and worked 1200 miles away. For four months after the baby was born, I was so tired that I'd lay my head on our kitchen table every morning and cry. I can only imagine the added pressures Faye Johnson Vick must have felt, knowing her husband was in danger every day -- and not knowing when or if he would be coming home. It must have been particularly hard during the holiday season, when everyone seems to be together with family.

According to two spokeswomen for National Military Family Association, a nonprofit group that supports military families, isolation is a particular threat for military spouses with very young children whose partners have been deployed. "Spouses face the regular pressures of juggling roles, but when their spouse is deployed, they become single parents worried about their spouse's safety, as well as the effects on their children. Military wives feel additional pressure to be resilient and take care of other wives who need help."

The military offers family service support, online chat groups, spouse support groups such as Hearts Apart, and 24/7 counseling through Military Onesource and (800) 342-9647. "But it's especially hard to stay connected to other adults, and to ask for support, when you have very young children, no adults coming to your house regularly and little or no childcare," say Patty Barron and Joyce Raezer from NMFA.

All moms, working and at-home, military and cilivian, can use support and help. Often that help can come from other moms, such as the Moms Supporting Moms support group. What do you do to help other moms, every day and during the holidays? Was there a time when you did -- or didn't -- get the help you needed? Do you find it easy -- or hard -- to ask for help yourself?

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  December 4, 2006; 7:55 AM ET  | Category:  Moms in the News
Previous: Holiday Newsletters: Pro or Con? | Next: Job Hunting Down Under

Name:

Comments: