Manifesto Project: The Power of Collective Wisdom

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

The response to the Parenting Manifesto Project has been absolutely wonderful -- getting the perspective of dozens of parents on the big-picture elements of parenting has been eye-opening. Though one commenting wag last week suggested "don't get your parenting advice from a blog," it turns out that the collective wisdom of all of you is as valuable as just about anything you'll get at Barnes & Noble. I'm still archiving manifestos as they come in -- check them all out at the manifesto page and feel free to send along yours to rebeldad+manifesto@gmail.com.

I've culled from what I've received so far to come up with an all-star manifesto, another stab at truth, in 500 words or less:

Kids understand more than they're often given credit for. Explanation doesn't mean argument, and it doesn't mean that you negotiate away authority. Again, it's validation of the child's personhood so that he'll validate his personhood, and include in it a right to legitimately question authority. (Terrance Heath)

Miscellaneous do's and do nots: Do not bring one of those sippy cups with a straw onto an airplane. Do not drink any kind of beverage on an airplane with an angelic, peacefully sleeping baby on your lap. Do not clip your newborn's fingernails. Do not let your toddler wrestle the urine-holding part of the cute little potty chair away from the sitting part of the cute little potty chair by herself. (Cathy White)

Pick which hills you're going to die on. Some of them won't win the war -- skip those but know ahead of time what you NEED to fight. Weird hair, baggy pants, black nail polish -- little bitty hills. Drugs, drinking -- anything that has long-term (as into adulthood) consequences -- REALLY BIG HILLS. (Mom of Seven)

Sometimes your best just isn't good enough, or what you thought was the best turns out, in hindsight, to look like a mistake. Be able to step back and laugh at the situation. All you can ever do is try something and see what happens. If it works, great. If not, you try something else. (Elizabeth at Half Changed World)

Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel good or right, there is probably another way, another answer, another method, another doctor or even just another time or day/week/year that is better. (Hedra and Will)

Read to your kids! Instill in them the power and joy of a good book! Added bonus: If/when your wife is pregnant with a second (or third, etc.) child, your reading aloud benefits both kids! (Slurry Feed)

Keep your word. If you promise to take your child to the movies, then only your death should prevent you from doing so. Make your promises very carefully. Never threaten a harsh punishment. If you say a particular consequence will take place due to misbehavior, make sure it does. (Sue Mort)

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

By Brian Reid |  December 21, 2006; 8:20 AM ET  | Category:  Tips
Previous: Milk Mania | Next: Best and Worst Holiday Memories

Name:

Comments: