Supplement with formula. End of problem.

People might think this is disgusting but I had enough milk to feed 10 babies. I could have had my own UN program and been dispatched to third world countries.

Needless to say I never had any mania - and I introduced a bottle rather early and there was no confusion. I also never had the travel issues of today with liquids on the plane. I pumped and dumped on the 2 or 3 trips I had to take when I was breastfeeding, I had plenty stored.

Alisa - it sounds like you also had anxiety about leaving your husband alone, which everyone does. I guess my only advise is that it gets easier with each kid. I don't think it is a sin to introduce formula early on either - I know plenty of babies that took both.

I once forgot to bring my pump on a trip. My excuse is that I hadn't traveled before and I was only doing so at that time to attend the funeral of a friend who'd died unexpectedly. I didn't discover my dilemma until about 10:00 at night. Thank God the Super Walmart was open.

Few things are more impressive than a woman who works AND breastfeeds exclusively! Hats off to those who do this!

I can sympathize. I never traveled when my child was nursing. But I remember the day to day stress of having to pump enough breast milk. When she finally weaned 2 years later, I had to throw away a weeks worth of breast milk. I felt like crying too. Best of luck to you and bravo for nursing.

foamgnome,

When I was pumping, I had built up a fairly large store. The lactation consultant had suggested that I could donate it to the human milk bank. I ended up using all the stored milk, but I remember thinking that the idea was really good.

To anotherrockvillemom: That is cool. I never had more then a two week supply in the freezer. I just didn't pump much when DD was home with me full time. It seemed like she nursed every 1 1/2 for 6 months. But I did only need to formula supplement a few times. So I felt good about it. I also nursed her and pumped for 2 full years. I felt successful in the end. But I remember the daily stress and sense of failure when I needed to bottle supplement a few times.

I was only able to breastfeed for six weeks, so I didn't have to worry about traveling and having enough milk. I was in the hospital for a week and my husband fed my daughter formula and she survived. I came out of the hospital on a lot of drugs, so I just gave up the breastfeeding, to be honest I was having a hard time anyway. I wish I could've been like you cmac!

Do they test the breast milk that is donated for disease? Can AIDs and other diseases be transferred through breast milk.

The best (only) way I know how to balance this is to stop expecting yourself to be able to do everything perfectly. Life has a way of humbling you.

I went through this myself -- not the travel issue, but the stress of feeling like it was So Important that my baby had nothing but my breast milk. Problem is I had complications that led to four days in the hospital, and when I tried to breastfeed, nothing came out. I remember sobbing in the hospital bed because I couldn't do something so elementary -- I mean, Every Other Mother in creation could do it naturally, so how horrible a mom was I? And of course the fact that I had just been through physical hell didn't count for anything in my mind. (the nurse kept trying to talk some sense into me, but I wouldn't hear it)

I spent most of my daughter's first 6 months fighting to produce enough milk. I beat myself up about her colic, which I attributed to the formula we had to supplement with, so we spent months trying formula after formula, each more expensive than the last (we magically hit the "right" one at about 12 weeks -- imagine that). I finally gave up breastfeeding entirely at 5 1/2 mos., when I was pumping so much to make a few ounces that I had bleeding blisters.

Point is, all of this was stupid and completely unnecessary -- I wish I could go back in time and slap some sense into myself. I had this image in my head of what a mom is supposed to do and be, and I was determined to live up to that standard regardless of the cost to myself -- or my husband, who had to put up with this crazy woman for months. The saddest part is that I missed my daughter, too; when I think back now, I remember the feeling of failure as much as I remember the joy in this wonderful new life.

It makes me sad, because it was all so unnecessary, but I was too wrapped up in unrealistic expectations to realize that at the time. Now, despite being mostly formula-fed, my daughter is happy and thriving and healthy as a horse -- whereas her little brother, who I breastfed with much less struggle, is constantly sick. Go figure!

scarry - it was recommended that I donate to a milk bank since I was such a prolific producer and I can't remember what the specific testing was, but I know the milk went through some type of process. I do remember that there was a time restriction from the time you pumped to the time you dropped it off and I could never meet the deadline.

8 years ago it was only the level 4 trauma hospitals that had the milk banks - these hospitals treat premies - and most of the milk was used for those babies.

Someone else probably has better information. Oh - I also remember that all the milk was combined, so it wasn't like my milk went to just one baby.

Nothing like talking about donated breast milk at 8 am.

Scarry,

Yes, donated breast milk is tested for diseases. Also, an extensive history is taken of the donor to determine the suitability of the milk. You can find outmore at http://www.hmbana.org/

Also there is an organization for donation to countries around the world. You can view this at http://breastmilkproject.org/

Info courtesy of Fredia

Some information from the Human Milk Bank Association of North America:

"How does a donor milk bank operate?

Donor milk banks receive milk from lactating mothers who have been carefully screened for health behaviors and communicable diseases, similarly to the way blood banks screen donors. Additionally, milk bank donors must:

be non-smokers
not regularly consume any medication (including mega-vitamins)
not consume excluded medications or alcohol within the specified exclusion period

Milk is transported to the milk bank frozen. The milk from several donors is pooled after thawing, and then heat-treated to kill any bacteria or viruses. The milk is processed and then refrozen. It is only dispensed after a sample is cultured and shows no bacteria growth. Milk is shipped frozen by overnight express to hospitals and to individual recipients at home.

The milk is dispensed by physician prescription or by hospital purchase order only. There is a processing fee charged to cover the expense of collecting, pasteurizing and dispensing the milk."

I have to agree with some of the other moms. Supplementing with formula would not have been the end of the world.

While I applaud your effort to do what you thought was right, I wonder if you expected too much of yourself in the pursuit of being the perfect mom. That is how it appears, to me at least. And, that is why I see your "mania" as something that was over the top.

Once we all accept that we will never be the "perfect" parent, and our kids will still survive and be happy, the better off we will all be.

I have heard that purchased breast milk is wickedly expensive. A supply and demand thing as well as the extensive testing done to insure the milk is safe. I think if I had to do it all over again, I would not have beaten myself up over occassionally supplementing. But I applaud the great lengths that women go to breast feed their baby. I do believe if I was a SAHM, I would never had a problem with having enough breast milk. It was just that a few times, I did not pump out enough.

Scarry,

On a related note, many drugs, both prescription and non-prescription can be passed thru the milk to the infant. One of the major issues for lactation consultants is insuring that the mother is aware of this. The woman's doctor takes the lead in identifying what drugs may be passed along with lactation. LC's provide support to the patient and doctors on this issue.

So, for all of you new mother and expectant ones, please inform your doctor of ANY prescription and non prescription drugs, vitamins and supplements that you are taking!

I had easily a couple hundred ounces (two plastic grocery bags full) of milk stored in our freezer. But when I went back to work, my son would not take the bottle. He eventually did after a few months of complete stress for everyone but I knew we'd never use all that milk. I tried contacting several places about donating the milk and even asked my doctor but no one could ever tell me how to donate. I ended up throwing it all out because it got too old. Now I only have one day's supply in the freezer. What a waste!

Honestly, ladies, stop beating yourselves up, and accept that some choices comes with trade offs. I an passionately in favor of breastfeeding, (18 months for each of my children) but I can't see that it is worth having to hook yourselves up to milking machines like a prized heifer in order to avoid either the occasional or regular bottle of formula. Nursing your child is a blessing, not a chore or a compulsion - do it if you can, as much as you can, but stop the stressing and spend whatever time you have with your child concentrating on the miracle of his/her existence, not the technical details of how she/he is being nourished.

To Maija: When I was home on maternity leave, my pediatrician recommended expressing one bottle to give to baby a day to get them used to the bottle. It was fairly easy because they were not drinking a lot at a single feeding. We started at 6 weeks old. So she was used to the bottle by the time she went to day care. She never went to more then 2 bottles a day while I was on maternity leave. But she was fine in day care. They got her right on a feeding schedule and eating a full 5 ounce bottle in a week or two. Then it was really easy. I hated sending in a 5 ozs bottle of breast milk and have her only drink 2 or 3 ounces. The day care had to throw away the rest. They need a new bottle at each day care feeding. Never an issue with breast feeding.

While I'm a big fan of breastfeeding (I nursed both of my kids until they were about 1 1/2 years old), I do think mothers need to relax about this topic a little bit. It is not the end of the world to supplement with formula here and there, if circumstances require it. It's not a perfect world. Consider how well off our children are in many ways, compared to most in many other parts of the world. It seems silly to get so worked up about such a comparatively small thing. And a stressed, "manic" mother is not a good thing for the family, breast milk or not.

Thank you Laura for some of the best words of wisdom I have seen in a long time. No kids yet, but I think your words will ring in my head when they do come along.

I have donated breastmilk. Kind of a process, but a worthwhile one!!

My understanding is that some milk banks sell milk (at a high price) and others donate it to preemies and other needy babies. it's worth checking which is which. but either way -- it's wonderful to donate breastmilk if you have extra. and i think some of them will come to your home to get the milk.

The best breastfeeding advice i got came from another mom at my office whose infant went to the same daycare center as my third baby. she clued me in that i didn't have to breast feed continously to keep up a milk supply. I could breast feed once in the morning and once at night for months if not years. So that's what I did. Baby took formula during the day and me in the am/pm. And I never had to pump at work, which was great, since all the rooms on my floor had glass walls!

But Ajax, if you don't breastfeed them that's a whole 3 IQ points you're costing them down the line!!!! What if they never learn to do geometry? It'll be all your fault!

LOL! I was so paranoid about BF'ing (and with three kids in four years I DID feel like a prize heifer most of the time anyway) and my kids still ended up with learning disabilities and a bunch of weird immune system stuff. I kinda enjoyed it so I'm not too bummed about not getting all the supposed benefits -- but that statistic about the IQ points always just cracks me up! How the heck would they measure something like that anyway?

At the suggestion of our pediatrician's lactation consultant, I pumped each night when I went to bed. We started this when the baby was about 6 weeks old and wasn't eating at that time any more. I also pumped after his early morning feed (4 or 5 am). This way, when I went back to work after 4 months, I had a whole freezer full of milk for the little dude. I mixed fresh and frozen milk once I started back at work, but when I had to travel, he got frozen milk. This liquids ban on planes has been a pain in the neck, though. Instead of flying to NY, I've taken the train several times and on the occassions that I've gone elsewhere, I've had to fedex my milk back on dry ice. Good news is that the little guy turned one last week and we're starting whole milk now!!

I'm interested in the PP who said she nursed until 18 months. How did that go? I've read that if you don't wean at 12-14 months, you're pretty much stuck until the child naturally weans himself -- and that's not likely to happen until 3 years. While 3 years is just too long for me, I could honestly continue morning and night nursings for another 6 months or so.

My momma bottle fed me so that I guess is why I went to a "crappy" state school.

Armchair mom, now you got me worried :-)

Amy: My DD naturally weaned a week shy of her 2 birthday. The statistic I read is 95% of children will naturally wean by 3 years of age. Meaning, a good number wean long before 3. If your baby is drinking breast milk from a bottle, weaning is not that difficult after 2 years of age. Most toddlers do not want to nurse exclusively or use nursing as their sole milk source after age 2. 2 year olds prefer to spend their time running around making messes. The few 3 + year olds that still nurse generally do it out of comfort. So it is not continually.

I am currently stressing about milk production myself.

I have a 7-month old that is taking solids and breastmilk. As she takes more solids and drinks less milk, my production is decreasing. I don't mind this so much when she is home with me and I can just nurse her for longer, but she goes to day care 3 days a week, and I stress about not sending her in with enough milk. I pump 3 times a day at work (to send her to daycare with 3 bottles) and worry that she will be hungry because my supply has dropped off so dramatically (from 16 ounces a day to 10).

Until I had the baby, I never realized how much an ounce was!

there is a technique for expressing milk using one's hand, rather than electrical equipment.

Please excuse the off-topic post . . .

When you are not successful in balancing work and family, and you and hubby are clearly in need of counseling, and hubby has finally consented to doing so, where do you find a good counselor? Location is an issue; Old Town Alexandria. Any suggestions?

TIA

To Amybow: can you pump a little at home or an extra session at work? I know it may be hard to get more then 3 sessions at work. I pumped three times a day at work and sometimes right before leaving for work. It was rough.
As far as IQ and breast milk, the theory is it is not the milk itself that increases intelligence scores. As much as more educated women breast feed then non educated. So the child coming from the educated family, who may or may not have a high IQ, is also being exposed to a richer learning enviroment. So there is two factors at play, IQ of the parents and the home enviroment. Not breast milk in itself. If the researchers that want to know if breast milk in itself is the key to higher intelligence, they would need to look at different cohorts of people. Like educated who breast feed and educated who did not breast feed. Similarly, uneducated who breast feed versus uneducated who did not breast feed. You get the idea. As far as I know, the studies did not separate the groups that way.

As I posted before, on the day we discussed traveling while pumping stories, on the few occasions I traveled while bf, I fedex overnighted home each day's worth of pumped milk. It requires a good 1 - 1.5 day lead time in banked milk, though. Also good to take all the styrofoam coolers and blue ice with you, as they can be hard to find in a strange city outside of what the retailers deem 'picnic season'.

I also warned to ship every chance you get, even the last day when you think you'll be home before the shipment, as I once had the airport close due to weather when I was supposed to return, and so ended up with an unanticipated 18 hour delay. That was very stressful all around and would not have been, had I just gone ahead and shipped the last day's pumping when I had the chance.

My babies were both older by the time I traveled overnight, at least 9 months, as I had enough control of my travel schedule to put off travel til then. Pumping while traveling is time-consuming and draining, especially if you have to arrange access to a fridge and private spot during, say, conference breaks.

Pumping was integral to my everyday nursing, too, though. I credit an alert lactation consultant and my pump for enabling me to establish bf in the first place. The lc on a routine phone followup when my oldest was 3 or 4 days old asked me many questions and was unhappy; she felt my daughter had a sleepy suck and wasn't bringing my supply in. So she started me pumping after nursings. It took maybe 2 days of that for my supply to come in . . . by then the baby had had a ped followup and was put on an every-2-hour cycle of wake the baby, make her stay awake, nurse then supplement her and pump. I was happy to be able to convert her supplements to pumped breastmilk, not formula, within the first day. With my second, when she was very ill at 6 months old due to food allergies and suspected secondary lactose intolerance, we were very happy we were able to break the cycle by pumping all feedings except night-time ones, and treating them overnight with lactaid enzyme drops. (As a severely allergic baby only prescription formulas might have been safe for her, and we didn't want to start a long experiment to find one she would accept and tolerate) That week-long experiment, and elimination of the remaining top-8 allergens from my diet, was the turning point for her health.

So I view breastpumps as a lifeline that got us through the rough points . . . both daughters nursed til they were 2 years and some months old; both had breastmilk as their only non-solid food til 12 or 14 months old, after their first week . . .

Some suggestions that helped me maintain enough supply for workday and get-ahead pumping: we coslept, and my babies did most of their nursing at night, latching on and leaving us both to sleep. More than half my production was in the night hours (as I could tell when pumping on trips). The presence of that baby there all night, with extended nursing sessions, was a real hormonal stimulant to production. Also adding one pumping in the morning after baby's first nursing, as early as you can, lets you capture and maintain that supply.

Good luck! Once you're past the rough spots, nursing is such a wonderful enforced downtime with your baby, bonding and resting time . . . mine always wanted to reclaim me the instant I came back in the door from work with a long nursing/gazing session.

"I remember sobbing in the hospital bed because I couldn't do something so elementary -- I mean, Every Other Mother in creation could do it naturally, so how horrible a mom was I?"

Why don't we just stop trying to be EOM?

EOM = Every Other Mom

EOM is just a fictional character we use to create guilt for ourselves and others. She's perfect and she doesn't exist although people pretend to be her. This would end the whole bottle or not debate!

I nursed and pumped. We started the bottle at six weeks and started filling the freezer with an extra pumping session. Still our little guy didn't much like the bottle. So we ended up reverse cycling, meaning he nursed alot a night to make up for not taking the bottle during the day. I continued to pump three times a day at work. And that is how this cosleeping family was created. After he turned one he took whole milk from a cup during the day and nursed in the morning and evening at home. We stopped nursing at 18 months and when he wanted to nurse he was offered a cup of whole milk. After a week he stopped asking to nurse daily and after a month he stopped asking to nurse at all. For me the effort was worth it but is was never really stressful. I agree that if it is stressful then you should make peace with an arrangement that is not stressful to you.

Fred,

Tell fredia I said thanks. I was on morphine and very strong antibiotics. Without going through the whole story, after I had my daughter I had a gall stone stuck in my duct and almost died of pancreatitis. (SP) I was in there for a week and my milk dried up because I didn't make all that much before I went into the hospital. I ask the doctor if I could try to pump at home to bring my milk back, but he told me that the drugs would pass to my daughter, so I just gave up.

I am trying to get pregnant now and want to breastfeed the next baby as long as possible. Is there anything I can do to increase my chance of being successful this time!

foagnome is right adding a pumping session will increase your supply, but is the baby asking for more? It could be that baby is getting enough during daycare hours with the solids and the pumped bm. The body has an amazing way of regulating what your producing based on what the baby is demanding. Unless baby is unhappy try not to stress about it.

I did as Leslie describes - avoided having to pump at work by using formula (or stored breastmilk until that ran out) for the two mid-day feeds, and breastfed twice before work and twice in the evening. This made returning to work SO much easier! I felt like I had discovered a secret code to happiness and balance. My baby got some of my oh-so-beneficial milk and I got to avoid lugging a pump to work and pumping in my office while my colleagues giggled on the other side of the door.

I also echo others' sentiments that breastfeeding is a blessing rather than a mark of mothering worth. And the advice to start introducing a bottle EVERY day to your baby (with formula or pumped milk) after a few weeks of life so that he/she will take a bottle with no problem later on.

One more thought...Alisa's worries included Husband Competence. "Would he be able to wake up in the middle of the night? Would he warm the milk correctly?" This is a catch-22. I think we moms need to believe in our husband's utter and total competence more than question it, and they will be much more likely to rise to our expectations. Yes, of course a full grown man can wake up in the middle of the night and warm the milk correctly. Okay, off my soapbox now...

Get support - This was key for me in being successful. There are a few discussion boards out there that are manned by passionate BF mama's who have good deal of experience. Check out the WebMD sight also, it may seem odd, the Bargain Babies (like the book) website has a feeding discussion board that I found very supportive to the BFmama needing some advice during difficult times. You know low supply, cracking, bleeding, pain.

I also had to deal with the issues of business travel and young babies. With my first child, I took my husband and my baby with me on my first business trip. I pumped extra milk for the times I would be stuck in meetings and had my husband meet me at the convention center where my conference was being held so I could nurse my daughter. Although it worked out, both my husband and I decided it wasn't feasible to do for future business trips given his job etc.
I have pumped in many different places on business trips, empty meeting rooms, hotel administrative offices (offered by hotel staff), hotel spa facilities, airport bathrooms, airport lounges, department store lounges, hospital empty patient rooms, colleagues hotel room, etc, etc.

It was very important to me continue feeding my child breast milk and to not supplement with formula. In fact with my second child at around 6 months I listened to all the folks who said "supplement with formula end of problem" because I was having difficulty keeping my supply high enough to cover my trips. And do you know what happened my child had an allergic reaction to the formula, and to every subsequent formula I tried, with the exception of an extremely high priced brand. And in the end that hassle and the harm to my child was not worth the convenience to me.

Tips for breastfeeding and business travel can be found on the web. But here are some of my personal tips.
-Call the hotel where you will be staying in advance to arrange for a refrigerator for your room. Don't let them charge you for it. Tell them what its for. Ask about using the hotel freezer (which is much colder than any cooler) to store your iec packs until you are ready to go.
-Bring a soft sided cooler that expands and multiple ice packs.
-Bring more breast milk storage bags or bottles than you think you might need. I found my production increased when I was missing by baby dreadfully on a trip.
-Bring a photo of the baby to help focus while pumping.
- Store as much in advance as possible.
- Do the best you can and try not to worry.
--When you return from the business trip nurse as much as you can so that your baby adapts back to nursing with you.
Best of luck--it can be done!

You guys are scaring me! OK, so I need to get the baby happily on the bottle between 4-6 weeks, or I'll be up all night feeding once I go back to work, plus pumping 3 times a day! ACK! We can't do the co-sleeping thing unless I want to sleep in a different bed from my husband, which I REALLY don't want to do. (He has major sleeping issues, so a baby in the bed would = no sleep for him.)

Wow Alisa - you really need to CHILL OUT! I hope your child is not as high-strung or uptight as you apparently are. Formula is not poison - as I know from my personal experience. Not only was I formula-fed (and turned out pretty well despite the fact that I am an attorney - LOL), but I have two healthy boys that are sick less then most of their breast-fed friends! Calm down and your daughter will flourish no matter what feeding option you choose.

I forgot to mention that I breastfed my first child for 14 months. My second child I breastfed for 10 months.

I forgot to mention I breastfed my first child for 14 months. My second child I breastfed for 10 months.

Scarry,

Morphine and most antibiotics are drugs that will pass thru milk and effect your baby. A definite No-no to nurse with these drugs.

Fredia cannot advise you about particulars over the internet. Even LC's carry malpractice insurance!

My advice as a lay man in this area would be to speak to your pediatrician to put you in contact with a LC.

We had Milk Mania. My wife pumped and stored a lot -- and when the power went out one night, she was furious that the frozen milk would go bad. Fortunately the power was off for "only" 12 or so hours. When we opened the freezer, the ice cream was soft, the meat was defrosted, the ice was cold water, but the breast milk was still frozen solid! It was a Milk Miracle.

Thanks fred, I hope to God next time I don't have to worry about it.

I was struck by Laura's post, as well as how many women on this and other lists have noted that they were obsessed with breastfeeding, driving themselves crazy, even while it wasn't working for them.

I had the same experience. Before I had the baby, I was committed to breastfeeding, but I know the research and didn't think it was necessarily a huge deal if my child got formula. But then when breastfeeding wasn't working for us, I found myself obsessed with my milk supply -- I was suddenly horrified by the idea of giving my daughter formula.

I've seen it with other friends, too. One of my friends told me while she was pregnant that she was going to breastfeed but thought that the movement had gone to far, and that she'd probably supplement with formula. But now that she's breastfeeding, she's absolutely anti-formula. She would never even consider giving her child a drop of it, and she's appalled when anyone asks whether the bottle she's giving might be formula.

What happens to us from the time when we are pregnant to when we have these babies that makes us so passionate about our breastmilk that we kill ourselves to ensure our children are exclusively breastfed? The existing research suggests exactly what's been pointed out -- this is a small small small factor in children's development, and it's probably mostly driven by WHO breastfeeds rather than the milk itself. I am a developmental psychologist and I knew that -- yet I was still obsessed with breastfeeding . . .

Hooray for Milk Miracles!!!

I know formula is not bad for babies, but when I didn't have a good milk supply and had to supplement, I cried. I don't know if that is because of the way the doctor pushed breastfeeding on me or the fact that as a new mom I was so hard on myself.

I am sure many new moms can relate.

Scarry -- I cried to. For days and days over it. In fact, I've come to wonder how often postpartum depression is related to breastfeeding problems . . . It wasn't until I finally accepted that my daughter was formula fed and stopped worrying about it that I started enjoying my daughter's infancy.

I am still strongly pro-breastfeeding and plan to do so with my next child. But I don't think the world understands how difficult it is for women who try and cannot (or must supplement). It makes me vehemently against any efforts that might inadvertently make non-breasfeeding moms feel guilty, since so many already do. It's one thing to share the research and another thing to overstate it.

A mother's mental health has a much greater influence on children's long-term well-being than breastfeeding.

About "would he warm the milk correctly" - my babies both liked it just fine cold at daycare! Makes it real easy.

DC MOM, you raise an interesting point. (Disclaimer: I am heavily pregnant with my first, and for various reasons planning on exclusive formula feeding, which I am at peace with). I've noticed myself starting to stress out about all sorts of -- in the greater scheme of things -- dumb things since I got pregnant. I want to do things that are beneficial for my baby, but who knows - maybe the hormones make us cross the line from vigilance into ridiculousness at times lol!! If you have ever seen the Christopher Guest movie "Best In Show," remember that scene where Parker Posey is freaking out because she can't find the Busy Bee toy? Lol I remind myself of that sometimes :) For some parents, it's breastfeeding I guess ("NO FORMULA EVER!!"), for me, it would have to be private schools ("PUBLIC SCHOOLS OVER MY DEAD BODY!!") - pick your poison lol, I suppose we all have something we need to get unduly worked up about!!

DC mom,

I agree so much, I changed doctors over the formula/breastfeeding issue. At one point, he even ask me if I was breastfed, I told him no and he went on to tell me I would have been healthier and smarter if my mom would have breastfed me.

I left there thinking, geez my mom should have known better, but in truth, he should know better than to say those things. I think the pressure is unnecessary.

Scarry,

I'm not an lc nor do I play one on the net --- I just wanted to encourage you that if your body's established a milk supply once - as you had for 6 weeks - the second time it seems to just remember and spring back to life. After such a slow start with my first, I was so worried about establishing supply for my 2nd that I brought my breast pump to the hospital with me while in labor. And despite a much harsher start, that left me much weaker and unable to even try nursing for 24 hours, my supply boomed in within 2 days. The *only* thing I did right in those first few days was drink loads of fluids. So, be prepared for the worst, but but don't feel sure it will happen --- some problems just solve themselves while we're busy worrying about them:-) I hope that's the case with you.

StudentMom2Be:

First off, congratulations. While I obviously had a rough transition to parenting, I can honestly say it is the most incredible thing I've ever done. My daughter is turning a year in two weeks! Yay! And she is just such an incredible joy.

I think you're right that there's something heavily hormonal here. I had a really funny experience when I was pregnant where I cried hysterically to the Jury Duty people because they had summoned me to serve a few weeks after starting a new job (and a few months before I was going on maternity leave, making it a weird time for me to be away from work). There's was something SO off-balance in my response. I sobbed for fifteen minutes even after they told me they would fix it for me. That was my first trimester, and I found I got more reasonable as I got more pregnant. But for me, those first few weeks after having the baby are a lot like what that first trimester was like emotionally (only add no sleep into the mix).

I always wonder how much of it is the very strong societal messages and pressures nowadays about breastfeeding and how much is hormonal (and I don't mean that in a condescending way -- just that hormones influence our reactions, for good and for bad). It's so fascinating!

Best of luck to you! And you are heading in the right direction by making a choice that is right for you and feeling at peace with it.

Yup scarry, that was one of the very first questions on my pediatrician interview list lol!!!! Luckily I found a supportive one up-front, but support for my feeding decision was one of the biggest up-front factors in choosing a doctor for me.

Thanks DCMom :)

For both my kids, I had an ample supply. I coulda fed the whole neighborhood! Not to get too graphic, but when my other friends were nursing and getting pregnant, I was completely shocked, because there was no way that I coulda gotten pregnant until the last drop of milk was drunk by my babies (they were both down to once a day by 13/14 months). My cousin even joked with me once she really enjoyed nursing her kids so much she would even have considered becoming a wet nurse...

For the first, I was with him all the time, but the most freeing part of it all was in the hospital (he was early and a little small) when the pediatrician ordered the nurses to give him formula - then I thought: ya know, there's no poison in formula, he can have some now and then (I do know people who think formula is evil - which it is not). I did go on a trip while I was nursing to see my grandmother (there was ample supply in the freezer), and I just pumped and dumped for those few days because I couldn't figure out a way to store it, etc, and that was many years before any of this no liquids on planes. You people are awesome. It pained me to throw it away, but I didn't know what else to do.

With the second, I went back to work when he was just under 6 mos, and I pumped at work, the whole nine yards, they had a nursing room (thank goodness) and another person in my dept was pumping too (it was a little awkward the first day when I had to ask my new boss where to go, since it's not like I coulda waited a week or two). When the VP, or someone else with an office was out of town, I used their office to pump, and the whole dept knew it! When my boss was talking with me re: traveling, I told him I couldn't travel until the date my son was a year (but just told him the month) and he was a little confused (like, is that when your patrol ends?) - and then I told him it was cause my son was not yet a year
and I wouldn't leave him until I wasn't nursing any longer.

My coworker at that job was telling me about a 3 week trip she had taken to asia and australia where she pumped the milk and took it with her and back - I was amazed.

Interestingly, my second baby probably got less formula than the first. Really.

To Off topic and need help:

When both of you recognize there's a need and are ready, time is of the essence. If having your insurance cover the cost, you might want to start with the list provided by your insurance carrier. Otherwise, the following is a starting point. Referrals are best, but if you don't have any, start with credentials and your gut instinct when you call to schedule the appointment. Ask about the counselor's interest and expertise in counseling on balance issues so you don't waste a session with someone who works primarily, or best, with couples on communication issues or teens with eating disorders.

The National Board for Certified Counselors offers a referral
service here: http://www.nbcc.org/.

Also - based on a Google search:
Marjorie Bauman, MS LPC
228 S Washington St # 220
Alexandria, VA 22314
(703) 739-6746

and Debra Henry MD
228 S Washington St
Alexandria, VA 22314
(703) 739-6746

http://www.robynbrickel.com/ (office on N. Pitt Street)

I don't know any of these folks and can't personally recommend them. It's a starting point to get you off the dime. Good luck!

Arlington Dad - The milk miracle happened at our house as well! We had a huge full size freezer, it was filled with 4 oz bottles and bags of milk - literally hundreds of them. I also had about 50 4 oz bags stored at my brother's house down the street in his freezer - we literally ran out of space. We had a huge power outage - all night - woke up the next morning and all the milk was still frozen - even in my brother's freezer.

As I worried about possibly loosing all the milk I remember my husband saying - "don't worry, if you put your mind to it you could replace it all in a week."

experienced mom--I second that.

Scarry,

I met a woman who couldn't no matter what she did nurse the first. She had no problem with the second.

And don't be hard on yourself...really. I definitely advocate nursing, but understand (usually) when people can't (I say usually because my sis and sis in laws both just didn't think it was important to worry about - formula was good enough for them, it's good enough for the baby - of course, I don't advocating doing something that will stress out your life or anything, but the benefits are definitely known, so it's just odd to me when people don't even try).

Wow re: dr. saying you would be better if you were nursed - I mean - my mom was like: oh, I didn't nurse cause it would make me tied to the baby - drs in the 50s/60s were telling moms the benefits of formula and how much better it was for the baby - no one ever questioned drs - so it isn't unusual (I have a friend who thinks that is the most horrible thing ever - but she is applying her 2000s ideas to the 1950s mentality).

"What happens to us from the time when we are pregnant to when we have these babies that makes us so passionate about our breastmilk that we kill ourselves to ensure our children are exclusively breastfed?"

DC Mom, you're SO right -- I never had a hangup about formula before I had my daughter at all!

My theory: out of the blue, you're presented with this amazing, perfect little creature that you love more than anything in the world. And you are suddenly overwhelmed with the uncontrollable desire to protect and nurture this precious little being against all evils. But you also realize for the first time how many Big Bad Uglies are out there that could hurt that most precious of all things (I was one of those kids who used to hurl myself down banisters or jump down a flight of steps at a bound, but suddenly found myself terrified even to carry my daughter down the stairs, in case I dropped her!).

Of course, you can't control the Big Bad Uglies -- most times, you don't even know they're coming. I mean, it's not as if there are wild animals roaming around that I need to beat back with sticks. The risks nowadays are things like microscopic bugs, drunk drivers, predators who look like normal people -- all things you likely won't see coming and can't control. So you direct that protectiveness to anything else you can control (or think you can). So with me, the sudden fixation on breastfeeding. I suspect for others, it's daycare -- I suspect that's where some of the stories of "I always presumed I'd go back to work but once I had my child couldn't bear the thought of leaving him/her with someone else" come from. Like StudentMom2Be said, you pick your poison, because you need to feel like you're in control and protecting your baby.

You can explain our hangups with two words: hormones and inexperience. One of the best pieces of new mother advice I got was: I have found that no single decision I made for my child seemed to dominate my child's life. A veteran mom gave me this advice when I was agonizing whether I should put my 2 year old in preschool. Well, you know what, she was right. Unless your making insane decisions like should I beat or starve my kid or not, then most likely the kid will do more then survive. They will flourish. The underlining message kids get is that we love them with all our hearts and mind. That will overcome any silly little issues like should I breastfeed, preschool at 2, summer camp at age 10 etc... Women need to band together and relax. I seriously think all this motherhood angst is because women have less access to other veteran moms. We move away from our childhood homes. We are not in daily contact with older moms, our moms, women we knew growing up, church communities etc... If you talk to more veteran moms, you learn that we just need to relax and enjoy our kids while they are still young.

All things being equal, isn't IQ determined by DNA?

For scarry, it is too bad that the doctor didn't suggest you pump and dump. Even if you are on medication that shouldn't be passed on to baby, you can still pump to help supply/production, just dump the milk. The more you empty the breasts the more milk you will produce. Good luck, and listen to your gut.

My first wouldn't latch so I exclusively pumped for 6 months and had enough in the freezer for another 2 months.

With my second, I had supply issues.
I also had to start traveling sooner with my second, so after much angst I gave up and started formula feeding at 6 months.

My most valuable lifeline during it all was www.lalecheleague.org. There is a mother's board where you can ask questions and communicate with certified lactation consultants and other mothers. It was great. (For those worried about getting hit over the head by the lactivists on the board, the entire philosophy seemed geared towards helping every woman, regardless of whether she pumped, breastfed for 3 years, only did it for 6 weeks, or didn't choose to do it at all. The one instance of snark that I saw was immediately clamped down on by the moderator.)

NO, IQ is not just determined by DNA. If it was you would always score the same score each time you took an IQ test. The truth is people have raised and lowered their scores taking the test multiple times. All an IQ test says is that you preformed at a certain level on some defined test. The tests are highly subjective and also assume certain cultural knowledge. It is also not even an indicator of academic or professional success. I don't put a lot of stock in IQ tests. Unless you are in one of the tails (genius or mentally challenged), it really doesn't say much about one's ability to survive in the world as we live in it.

Foamgnome, you hit it right on the head! Or, for some of us, we would never go to our parents for advice, or we can't (dad is insane, mom isn't around, sisters in abusive relationships). I am so lucky to live in an area with a VERY active parent's association, so that I could send an email and in 10 minutes have access to much of the help I need, when I do.
I carpool with a neighbor, and our kids are becoming very friendly - and we end up helping each other out - if she can't pick them up, even though she's *supposed* to, I'll do it, no skin off my teeth, and they'll help out when we need. I try not to agonize over who is doing what (same in my marriage) so that hopefully, we as a neighborhood, can help each other out and be there for each other - as many of us, as you mentioned, don't have family nearby.
That may be one of the biggest reasons I wouldn't move from where we are(except, maybe around the corner). It can be lonely when you don't have people around.

Does anybody ever consider that all this motherhood-angst here in the U.S. is "cultural"? I'm not from here and certainly have noticed that Americans tend to be a bit extreme in what they do, not just as regards parenthood. Why is the middle-ground not as acceptable as a pure "either-or-approach"? A little bit of formula, a little bit of trans-fat, a few germs here and there, etc.?

If you have the ability, please donate to milk banks.

For healthy, full-term babies, breast milk or formula is something you can argue about.

For tiny premature babies, breastmilk is absolutely the best. One of the problems with a tiny premie is that they can get holes in their gut. Studies have shown that this is MUCH less likely to happen if the preemie is getting breastmilk. Because they are preemies, very often the mom's milk hasn't come in. Add some stress and milk production can stop or never start.

So please, if you can, you should donate.

Isn't it time to get over this topic? There is nothing wrong with formula.

"One of the best pieces of new mother advice I got was: I have found that no single decision I made for my child seemed to dominate my child's life."

I love that. And it's so obvious, right? There's certainly not any one decision my parents made that had such a dramatic influence on my life.

The other great advice I heard for new parents was this one: "Relax. You are not going to have the only child who is still (FILL IN DEVELOPMENTAL CONCERN HERE) when he/she is forty." It was stated to a friend of a friend who was worried that her preemie would never get over five pounds -- as in you will not have a five-pound four year old. But it's applied endlessly as I find myself obsessing over the things I think I can/should control (e.g., transition to solids, sippy cups, pacifiers, sleeping routines, etc)

Ah, the inexperience. I REALLY REALLY hope I can take these lessons to heart when I have another newborn. I sometimes find myself grieving over the months that I lost with my baby because things were just so outrageously difficult (both because of my own obsessions and the health problems she had).

Ajax,
You are correct. There is not as much stress elsewhere - who knows why. We spend WAY too much time here contemplating everything, rather than doing and enjoying. I try to do and enjoy, as much as I can - rather than stress about how I'm not doing things correctly. We're doing things correctly *for us*. Yes, it would be nice some days to not go to work and spend the day at the park, like my nanny does, with my baby. But the reality is, I was SO stressed out being home, me going to work is SO much better for the family (and it relieves stress on my husband as well, he may be laid off by his co. and he *doesn't care*). I didn't spend the day at the park with the baby, there was *so much* else to get done. And I am SO much more organized now, I have to be.
In any event, what you describe is just not in the vocabulary of many people - and I think it should be.

Alisa, I am impressed. I breastfed for longer than I ever thought I would (2 years) while working fulltime. My husband stayed home. He and my daughter met me for lunch for 3 months (until she started solid foods) for a nursing session as my daughter refused the bottle when I went back to work after 12 weeks. BUT I never had to travel. Nursing was a wonderful way for me to bond with my daughter, especially when I got home from work. I had a really hard time weaning her obviously and finally had to go cold-turkey on her. No regrets.

True on most accounts. But my mom's decision to 'stay together for the kids' was one of the worst things she ever did. And that was just one single decision.

Ajax,

The average Washingtonian isn't interested in whether his or her children will merely survive Choice X or Choice Y, we want to determine which of Choice X or Choice Y is the best so that our children have the optimum experience, are able to thrive and perform to their maximum potential.

From day to day I can't decide whether I think this board is a fairly good cross-section of America, or is skewed toward East Coast perfectionists. You be the judge. The middle ground, on most issues, generally is acceptable to the average American, and even to most of us as we age and have our second or third child.

There's something to be said, though, for assimilating information from a variety of sources, evaluating it and determining that Choice X is the best choice, then concluding that, in this instance, for this child, for a variety of other reasons that make sense to our family, Choice Y makes more sense. Each and every choice about how to raise our child doesn't have to be The Best Choice.

Arlington Dad -- LOVE your Milk Miracle story. I was obsessed with our power going out while I was breastfeeding for the same reason. Glad the milk made it!!!

I think you are so right in that point. And I think it's especially true in the DC area, where everyone is constantly thinking about giving their child "the best" of everything.

I wonder if we've taken our affinity toward "perfect information" (needed for a functioning free market economy) to the extreme. So you think about it, we have consumer reports to tell us which is the best car seat. We must buy the absolute best. Yet, we don't give much attention to the fact that the difference between the best and the 10th best is probably so miniscule as to not be noticeable. It's rare to find good advice that says things like, "Yes, maybe that's a little bit better, but given the other factors, it may not be worth it." One thing is the best and the rest are not.

Of course, this is probably more relevant to those who can navigate all the information out there (or at least find it) and who have the luxury to obssess about these types of things. . . those with more constraints in their lives probably don't have the time or resources to do this much obssessing.

My first post-baby business trip was when my daughter was 7 months old. We had introduced one formula bottle a day -- just to make she would take it in an emergency -- but I still stressed about every lost drop of breast milk.

While on my trip, I pumped in the airport bathrooms, in between meetings, in the car, you name it. Sadly, I had to pump & dump, but it was worth it to make sure my supply stayed up.

I wasn't able to nurse my son for as long as I did my daughter, but the stash of breast milk I'd built up in the freezer really came in handy when he came down with rotovirus and couldn't keep anything else down. Now if only they would make those milk bags a little easier to pour out of.

Woops -- that 10:43 comment was TO Ajax, FROM me . . . sorry for the mix-up.

Yes, it can be difficult to fully breastfeed and work full time. I do it, and I have to say I find it fulfilling.
But it is false to think that a little formula is no big deal. It IS a big deal. It changes the baby's gut flora for weeks. It has no immunities, it exposes them to allergens, it is highly processed and often contains corn syrup, and there are many other differences we don't yet understand. Formula is simply deficient. It is not normal. It is not natural. It is the fourth best option for feeding.

There are very few mothers who cannot make enough milk-- only 3% or so. These mothers should not feel guilty for using formula.

I think it is honorable what the blogger has done. Were I to travel, I would make sure I did the same thing. I wish more mothers would take breastfeeding so seriously, because it really is one of the best things you can possibly do for your child.

I am struck by the number of mothers on this blog who feel compelled to get some mention of how long they nursed -- or how much milk they produced -- into their posts.

It seems like there is a specific script.

First, you sympathize with mothers having trouble producing enough milk. Then you give some advice. And somewhere along the way, you slip in the fact that you breastfed for 18 months, 12 months, 2 years, etc. Some of you even mention the vast quantities of milk you were able to produce.

So, while you're telling these sad women who feel like failures that milk production and length of nursing aren't measures of successful motherhood, you're belying your words by simultaneously boasting about what superior mothers you are.

Kind of unfair, I think.

I absolutely hated pumping - hated it. I sprung for the most expensive type and it still felt that I was being tortured everytime I pumped. And I knew that supplementing with formula couldn't be that bad given that my mom did not breastfeed any of her 4 kids and we all turned out to be bright and successful. So when I went back to work at 4 months I went with Leslie's method - formula during the day and breastmilk at night. My son is 3 and his preschool teacher is amazed by how far ahead of his classmates he is[I'll resist the urge boast ;-)].
Moral of the story - take it easy. Supplementing with formula is not the end of the world. And women need to have more faith in their husbands - it's not like a first time mother is an expert at childcare anyway. Why not let it be a time when you learn the ropes together?

To 10:47: I don't think anyone is bragging. They are simply stating a fact. It is also lets women know it can be done. In some instances people ask specific time frames. Someone asked if you don't wean before 18 months, will the kid nurse till 3 years. The time frame was necessary for the context of that situation. I think when women are saying how long they breastfed, they are simply stating in some cases it can be done. Not every thing that happens to someone is a slam on someone elses situation. Also the poster who talked about excess milk led to milk donation discussion.

I'd be interested to hear how the dads feel about breast-feeding and travel, whether it's a non-issue, whether it's more or less difficult for them than single-parenting generally for the travel period. Comments? Thoughts? Jokes?

to 10:47: part of it is that people with lots of milk just can't empathize - but we can sympathize. And as *I* said: I definitely understand how people are completely different, and have different bodies - there was NO WAY I could get pregnant while I was nursing, even once a day, while I know plenty of women who have. Even my gyn didn't believe me, but it was true!

to 2yrs and beyond: you must be the best mother ever. I'm glad you can be so judgemental about other people. That will suit your children well. I'm sure they will be just like you and you can tell them how wonderful it is to have you as their mother because if they had had the bad luck to have someone else, their life wouldn't be nearly as perfect. Is one of the other three options for feeding a child to not feed them anything at all as opposed to formula?

Do people really think that breastfeeding is one of the "best" things you can do for a child? Give me a break - are you kidding me? I definitely agreee that breast is best but there are so many other things we do as parents that are of much greater importance. I don't mean to incite the breastfeeding police but honestly when you think back on your childhood does the thought - "boy am I glad my mother breastfed me" ever come to mind?

"A little bit of formula, a little bit of trans-fat, a few germs here and there, etc.?"

LOL!

I read somewhere a long time ago that, across the course of a human's life, s/he will consume the equivalent of a bushel of dirt.

So, go to it!

"I don't think anyone is bragging"

"My son is 3 and his preschool teacher is amazed by how far ahead of his classmates he is[I'll resist the urge boast ;-)]."

What do you expect the preschool teacher to say?

Ajax/atlmom: good question re: all the angst about the little things. Why? Because we don't have to worry about the big things. Many people here on this board (including me) don't have to worry about having enough food or being able to go to an emergency room -- all tremendous luxuries compared to what many other people (and societies) face. But getting rid of that kind of hardship in your own life doesn't mean that your need for control and urge to protect go away. So the more we get rid of the big things, the more energy we have to fixate on the little things.

Plus even when you're comfortable, I think you're still aware of how tenuous that is. I'm never going to be able to earn enough money to ensure that my children will always have enough food and a roof over their heads -- they are going to have to earn it. So while urge no. 1 is to protect them from harm, urge no. 2 is to give them as much of a leg up as you can -- which is why the breast milk/IQ link resonates so strongly, why you have the public/private schools debate, why Baby Einstein is now worth a gazillion bucks, etc. etc. etc. You want to do everything you can to set your kids up to be ok when you can't be there for them any more.

2yrs and beyond --

Do you even hear what the women on this board are saying? Or are you just hearing that they are not breastfeeding and that they don't think formula is horrible for children (which it's not).

What I am hearing -- and what I was saying -- is that we took it SOO seriously that we jeapordized our own mental and physical health.

Perhaps you don't believe that we tried hard enough. You may not have had the experiences others have had in trying to breastfeed but failing.

I told this story on this board before, but I think it's telling. I went to a LC for weeks trying to work out our breastfeeding. In the end, she revealed to me that she used to believe that EVERY mother-child team could nurse if they just tried hard enough. But then her LC colleague couldn't do it with her sixth child after successfully nursing five children before him. Now she gets it.

LIz:
My son is 3 and his preschool teacher is amazed by how far ahead of his classmates he is[I'll resist the urge boast ;-)]."

I thought the that was a joke. I don't think she really meant it? I meant no one is bragging about how long they breast fed versus women who did not or breast fed a shorter period of time.

BTW, I breast fed and DD has a speech delay. So no bragging about children with superior intelligence from me. :)

So - my daughter was a 'breast refuser' and I pumped and feed her breast milk for 9 months (6 months exclusively, starting to supplement with formula only after then). I was great - I would pump three times a day and could fill the fridge and freezer! I stopped when I started to resent the whole process...

I was also obcessed with the potential additional IQ points (we tried sign language for the same reason - did not work either). I then read a report that said breast feeding and high IQ were not exactly a direct link because parents that were higher educated and of a better socio-economic background were more likely to breastfeed and since IQ is 50% linked to DNA it explained the higher IQ of breastfeed children.

I flew with breast milk in my check in luggage and lost about half of it (only the milk in the Dr Brown's bottles) - though it did not spill because the bag was not wet. So it either evaporated or was drunk - still a mystery to me!

to Liz:

I have found that those who brag are typically looking to others to fulfill some need - they want you to know how good they are - they want others to validate them in some way. I typically feel sorry for those people who don't seem to have much inner peace.

2yrs and beyond,

I'm glad you participated today so that you could restore the guilt of the remaining 97% and provide us with living proof of the obnoxious misinformation spread by the Lactation Police. Your comments are misplaced on a blog about balance. Achieving balance means that one gets to a point of equilibrium where no one obligation, responsibility, issue or concern entirely dominates one's perspective, obligations, responsiblities, issues or concerns -- certainly not the almight 11th Commandment -- Thou Shalt Exclusively BreastFeed Thine Children For Two Years or More.

Personally, I'm kindof getting a kick out of the posts today - how often do women get to carry on and on about their boobs? :) I am very pro-breastfeeding, but didn't realize how intense people could be about it - my son had both formula and breastmilk - I pumped once a day, in the locker room at lunch, and carried the bottles home in a little cooler for my mom to use the next day - never had extra for freezing - he took formula and breastmilk equally well and I really didn't worry. I guess I was very aware of the benefits of breastmilk, but never saw them as a requirement for breastmilk EXCLUSIVELY.

I could not breastfeed my daughter directly...I could never get her to latch on properly. But I pumped with a hospital grade breast pump for nearly 6 months.

We lived in New Orleans at the time. When the first hurricane of 2005 came in July, I had forgotten my portable pump at work. I drove just as the eye of the hurricane was hitting at 1030PM that night to pick it up, just in case the power went out. That was stupid and scary. I didn't know how to watch the weather reports closely or which roads tend to flood when those things blow by. The power went out for three days and it was hotter than hell, but my milk that I had pumped in the freezer had kept well.

I had one three day work trip in TX in late July. I pumped in the car, I pumped on the Galveston Ferry, I pumped in my hotel room before dinner. It was just something I had to do or else I would have to deal with engorgement, so it was pretty much at the forefront of my mind all the time to think 3-4 hours ahead about where I was going to be and where was I going to pump and how was I going to store the milk. I just made certain when I made my hotel reservations that they had refridgerator rentals. I also purchased an electric cooler while I was there from Walmart.

I had a conference to attend at a large local hotel. I planned ahead and asked a friend who had a hotel room if I could use her room to pump in and stored the milk in my portable cooler which was left undisturbed in the back of the room. From time to time, I would get up in the middle of meetings and go to pump. I would try to plan the start of my pumping session during a break or during lunch to minimize my absences and disruptions.

When Hurricane Katrina hit, that was the ultimate challenge. I sent my husband ahead of me to Memphis with four days worth of breastmilk. I had at least a one month supply in the freezer at home (I made enough milk to feed three children and had assumed the hurricane would only be a temporary diversion like all of the others...who knew the levys would break ???). Never the less, I lost all of that milk.

I had to stand 12 hour shifts, and I pumped faithfully every four hours by sneaking off to a nearby bathroom. I am in the US Coast Guard and we were one of the last people to leave. I pumped off an on during the entire 12 hour drive about 150 miles away to Alexandria, LA in the back seat of a van with four very weirded out guys sitting in the front benches listening to the whish-whish of my breast pump.

When we got to the hotel we were staying at, they had run out of portable refridgerators. The hotel staff allowed me to put my milk in the hotel freezer until one became availiable. My husband met me in Alexandria after the four day supply ran out and I was able to continue feeding my dd from there (if I knew how or had the time to overnight ship frozen milk to Memphis, I would have done it, but sleep was already at a premium and the rescue operations and long shifts were already starting to take their toll....

A week later, we relocated together to Saint Louis, MO. I didn't want to be separated from my daughter b/c I didn't know how long I would be gone and didn't want to miss out on the first months of her life. I flew with my daughter and my husband drove with the milk I had pumped. Unfortunatly, my husband is an idiot and thought the electric cooler we had was an electric FREEZER (it's not). So all of the milk I had (about a week and a half worth) was destroyed. Anyway, we were very lucky. We only had about $25K in hurricane damages and my job put us in a nice efficiency apartment overlooking the arch in downtown STL. The local daycare took in my daughter with no notice and no problem.....and I continued to pump faithfully and feed my daughter. My milk supply dwindled and stopped around the 6 month mark (Thanksgiving) when I cut calories to try and diet/lose weight and I was glad that it was over so that I could finally get a full nights sleep. We returned to New Orleans a year ago today, but have since relocated to the Northern Virginia Area.

I look back and think that my daughter was worth it. As soon as I stopped giving her breastmilk, she had non stop ear infections. I could only imagine trying to deal with THAT problem during hurricane Katrina instead......I think the pumping was a better deal.....

I am now breastfeeding my second daughter exclusively and am already building up my supply for any potential road trips I may encounter.

Okay Liz - I'll take you up on your comment and boast a bit (forgive me folks) - my son is only 3 and his reading and counting skills are way beyond his classmates. My husband took him to get some bloodwork the other day and he read the sign "Lab corp". His teacher has to give him a separate curriculum from the other kids in his class because he is more advanced than they are. She's not just trying to make me happy by saying that.
Again - I apologise for this post but I was just trying to make the point that exclusive breastfeeding does not have that much of an impact on intelligence. I also have evidence of myself and my siblings who were not breastfed at all due to the fact that my mother couldn't breastfeed and we all turned out more than fine - one of my sisters is currently working on a Phd in Electrical engineering.
It just annoys me when people get holier than thou on this breastfeeding thing!

in re: 2yrs and beyond

I would say formula has become infinitely better in the past 20 years, yet there is an entire generation of adults who were exclusively fed sub-par formula who are doing great! You're anti-formula-ism is is border-line apocalyptic!

Also, I have tried and tried to find peer-reviewed science on how horrible formula is, and there is NOTHING out there. I'm speculating, but I'm guessing there's nothing out there because the work was done and the data were non-conclusive and thus unpublishable.

Is is time for someone to say, "Unclench."?

I could not breastfeed my daughter directly...I could never get her to latch on properly. But I pumped with a hospital grade breast pump for nearly 6 months.

We lived in New Orleans at the time. When the first hurricane of 2005 came in July, I had forgotten my portable pump at work. I drove just as the eye of the hurricane was hitting at 1030PM that night to pick it up, just in case the power went out. That was stupid and scary. I didn't know how to watch the weather reports closely or which roads tend to flood when those things blow by. The power went out for three days and it was hotter than hell, but my milk that I had pumped in the freezer had kept well.

I had one three day work trip in TX in late July. I pumped in the car, I pumped on the Galveston Ferry, I pumped in my hotel room before dinner. It was just something I had to do or else I would have to deal with engorgement, so it was pretty much at the forefront of my mind all the time to think 3-4 hours ahead about where I was going to be and where was I going to pump and how was I going to store the milk. I just made certain when I made my hotel reservations that they had refridgerator rentals. I also purchased an electric cooler while I was there from Walmart.

I had a conference to attend at a large local hotel in early August 2005. I planned ahead and asked a friend who had a hotel room if I could use her room to pump in and stored the milk in my portable cooler which was left undisturbed in the back of the room. From time to time, I would get up in the middle of meetings and go to pump. I would try to plan the start of my pumping session during a break or during lunch to minimize my absences and disruptions.

When Hurricane Katrina hit, that was the ultimate challenge. I sent my husband ahead of me to Memphis with four days worth of breastmilk. I had at least a one month supply in the freezer at home (I made enough milk to feed three children and had assumed the hurricane would only be a temporary diversion like all of the others...who knew the levys would break ???). Never the less, I lost all of that milk.

I had to stand 12 hour shifts, and I pumped faithfully every four hours by sneaking off to a nearby bathroom. I am in the US Coast Guard and we were one of the last people to leave. I pumped off an on during the entire 12 hour drive about 150 miles away to Alexandria, LA in the back seat of a van with four very weirded out guys sitting in the front benches listening to the whish-whish of my breast pump.

When we got to the hotel we were staying at, they had run out of portable refridgerators. The hotel staff allowed me to put my milk in the hotel freezer until one became availiable. My husband met me in Alexandria after the four day supply ran out and I was able to continue feeding my dd from there (if I knew how or had the time to overnight ship frozen milk to Memphis, I would have done it, but sleep was already at a premium and the rescue operations and long shifts were already starting to take their toll....

A week later, we relocated together to Saint Louis, MO. I didn't want to be separated from my daughter b/c I didn't know how long I would be gone and didn't want to miss out on the first months of her life. I flew with my daughter and my husband drove with the milk I had pumped. Unfortunatly, my husband is an idiot and thought the electric cooler we had was an electric FREEZER (it's not). So all of the milk I had (about a week and a half worth) was destroyed. Anyway, we were very lucky. We only had about $25K in hurricane damages and my job put us in a nice efficiency apartment overlooking the arch in downtown STL. The local daycare took in my daughter with no notice and no problem.....and I continued to pump faithfully and feed my daughter. My milk supply dwindled and stopped around the 6 month mark (Thanksgiving) when I cut calories to try and diet/lose weight and I was glad that it was over so that I could finally get a full nights sleep. We returned to New Orleans a year ago today, but have since relocated to the Northern Virginia Area.

I look back and think that my daughter was worth it. As soon as I stopped giving her breastmilk, she had non stop ear infections. I could only imagine trying to deal with THAT problem during hurricane Katrina instead......I think the pumping was a better deal.....

I am now breastfeeding my second daughter exclusively and am already building up my supply for any potential road trips I may encounter.

I meant to say that "it was great" not "I was great"... a little bit of a slip

"There are very few mothers who cannot make enough milk-- only 3% or so. These mothers should not feel guilty for using formula."

To "2yrs and beyond" --

Wow. Let's REALLY make these moms feel like crap.

After your diatribe about the evils of formula, you think that your little disclaimer about those few mothers who can't nurse is going to make them feel better?

You are an insensitive clod.

single mom:

I hear that breast milk theft is a common problem among thirsty luggage handlers!!! :-)

My husband took him to get some bloodwork the other day and he read the sign "Lab corp"

Wow and I thought my little angel was smart when she recognized the Golden Arches and started clapping and saying french fries. She did that amazing feat (sp?) at age 2. LOL :)

Again - I apologise for the boasting. Unfortunately I wasn't joking but I also wasn't trying to compensate for anything. In fact I'm typically the last person to boast about anything (but for the grace of God I go) However, it really gets my goat when mothers unduly stress themselves about the breastfeeding thing and think their kids are going to be retarded if they can't breastfeed exclusively.
IT IS NOT TRUE!

I attended a conference locally and had to ask the organizer: where do I pump? it was at a local univ. so they actually had a pumping room AND a fridge. I was so happy - I had brought some cold paks to store the milk but I stored it in the fridge. That actually made my day! Something so small...

Tofaberworkingmom: Unlike our 100% feel good society, I do recognize that some people are naturally brighter then others. My DD is a happy healthy normal intelligent child. Doesn't bother me that your kid can read and mine is still in diapers! And I agree with you about the breast feeding thing. I even kick myself for playing mozart to my baby in the womb. My kid is totally not musical! What a dang waste of time.

Hear, hear, fabworkingmom. your tone was clear, and clearly positive, in each posting. We are fortunate to be able to identify extremist nonsense when we hear it, whether from 2yrs and beyond or other insensitive clods, to borrow the perfect description.

and congrats on your wonderful son. I'm sure you love him very much.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, this blog is like Lake Wobegon: all the children are above average.

Being 9 months pregnant, I have resisted and resisted the urge to be a competitive parent, or in this case, pregnant person, but it's HARD. I'm insanely proud of the fact that I haven't over-gained weight and people tell me how great/not huge I look. But the truth is, it was all genetic. I didn't no anything special. But boy do I want to strut. This is not a normal thing for me. I'm not insanely humble, but I'm not a GLOATER, for crying out loud. Someone tell me it's the hormones. What kind of annoying momzilla am I going to be? Bleck.

Breastmilk is not the cure-all. By the time children are ready for solid foods, we are introducing tons of potential allergens to them every day. Every time they put their fingers in their mouths, in go potential allergens. Every time their skin contacts something, it could be an allergen. And there could be plenty of allergens in breastmilk too. Children begin to produce adequate amounts of their own antibodies at some point (does anyone know when?), so they no longer rely on getting them only from our milk. And breastmilk can contain things we don't want our children to ingest, such as medications - studies on the percent of specific medications that end up in breastmilk and the significance of these amounts are often conflicting (I'm a clinical pharmacist).

So, as a baby gets older, it becomes less and less important that he/she receives breastmilk. Only the convenience, cost, and possibly IQ arguments remain (and I frankly believe the IQ thing is based on confounded data). Finally, women often breastfeed for a long time for THEM much more than for their children (which is not a bad thing). It is captive bonding time with your child.

Breastfeeding is a lovely natural choice. Formula is a great synthetic choice. Just remember 'natural' doesn't automatically equal 'good' as a generalization...arsenic is natural.

Thanks to everyone for the adivce.

Kathy,

Kathy,

The nurse in the hospital ask me if I wanted to pump and dumb, but to be honest, I was just to weak to do much of anything.

Obviously 2yrs and beyond thinks that I should have pumped between my last rights, allergic reactions, and drug induced delusions. But hey, there is always baby number 2, and I am sure that number 2 will be smarter, healthier, prettier, and nicer than baby number one just because she got a little more breast milk. (snark)

"You want to do everything you can to set your kids up to be ok when you can't be there for them any more."

Buy insurance!

Hi -- I'm usually a reader, not a submitter, but this one grabbed me -- probably bec I too was a "breastmilk all the way" mother BEFORE my first was born.

I believe wholeheartedly in the benefits of bf'ing, but after my son arrived I soon realized the benefits of the bottle -- whether breastmilk or formula -- for my own sanity. Husband/helpers can do it -- and bond with that baby :-) -- and then when the baby can hold the bottle, your hands are free! There's still plenty of time when you can snuggle and/or bf -- let's face it, the kid is not going to forget you are his mother just bec someone else is helping out!

And I love my breastpump -- although it isn't as easy as it sounds to do at work. Somehow those meetings always got scheduled right during the time I needed to pump...

But the other thing I realized was that even if my son was getting formula and breastmilk, he's STILL getting the benefits of breastmilk. Supplementing with formula does not diminish the good things about breastfeeding -- it's not like formula cuts the benefits in half.

I also had to get over my certainty that my son NEEDED my breastmilk after about 9 months. It just became too hard to do the things we wanted/needed to do -- and don't give me grief for putting other family interests over my son's breastmilk needs, bec I gave myself enough grief at the time. But I was going crazy from the scheduling, and he was okay -- did fine on all formula, and then whole milk. So I learned that he could handle flexibility, and I could use a little myself. The 9 months of bf'ing was a success -- he's a genius! (ha ha) But formula didn't kill him.

Later I read in the Post about a study that said benefits taper off after 9 months anyway, then more recently that bf'ing til 6 months is good enough. I did a quick search and couldn't find those, but ran across this link, which says bf'ing after 9 months may increase allergies. So now I can feel even better! :-)
http://www.physorg.com/news73842810.html

I think my big message is that bf'ing is not all it's cracked up to be in terms of convenience, etc... so if you have to make accomodations, do it. You don't get brownie points in life for bf'ing til 2 years old. Bottles, formula, short term bf'ing as long as you can stand it -- your child will survive, thrive and be happy no matter what, as long as the love is there. We should take it a little easier on ourselves, not succumb to the peer pressure, and aim for that elusive balance in life. :-)

To "2 years and beyond" - you are a judgmental idiot who instead of being on this blog should really be bf'ing your kid before someone gives him or her some milk out of sippy cup - which is what a 2 year old should be drinking out of now!

I'm nursing exclusively and pumping at work. I've done a few business trips, each longer than the last, including overnights and trips to Europe. I always bring the milk back with me. I've pumped in some bizarre places, and whilst pumping sometimes toy with the idea of writing a book entitled "Restrooms I have known"..

I'm pretty up-front with everyone that I meet with that I need a time and place to pump and preferably a place to store it. I give them a schedule ahead of time so we can work the agenda around it. It's always worked just fine. One thing - I've found that hotels in Europe can't provide you with fridges generally, and the mini-bar fridges are useless. Sometimes hotels have ice machines, and I just keep the milk in the trashcan covered in ice. I've also used soda cans which have been in the minibar for weeks, to keep the milk cold.

The new no-liquids rules are a real pain though. Airlines all have different rules about using ice, dry ice etc, and every airport and security screener interprets the rules differently. I really wish the airlines/TSA would get themselves sorted out.

P.S. I think my husband quite enjoys the Daddy-time, and he's always woken up at night. It was nice to come home and forget the pump for a few days though.

Bonjour everybody!

I love fresh milk, especially when I obtain it myself. Hee Hee! Human milk is not as heavy as cow's milk.

Hey, did you see Miss USA Tara Conner on cnn yesterday? She was given a second chance by Trump after being caught underage drinking, hard partying and rumors of snorting cocaine. (She inhaled).
She must have been on her knees in front of Trump "begging" for forgiveness, seeing that she almost "blew away" her golden opportunity.
Now she promises to be "the best Miss USA ever!" Maybe I will see her perform at the nudie club next week! ooh la la!

scarry - I'm not sure how many know how serious pancreatitis is and how many think you may be exaggerating. My mother died from it. It took 3 days, and had she lived, the doctors informed us the recovery would have involved months in the hospital.

This is a very tired and repetitive topic. Is it because it is the holidays and no one wants to think of something more creative?

Breast feeding is not the end all and be all that the media and everyone else wants us to think. Anything beyond 6-9 months i