How Much Truth To Tell Kids?

In Wednesday's discussion about the tradeoffs of having and not having children, Can Freedom and Kids Co-Exist?, posters talked about the importance of being honest (with ourselves, at least) about our moments of regretting having children.

However, one poster chided me by saying she (or he) hoped my children would never read what I had written about the moments when I wish I did not have kids. This struck me because my children already know that I'm not always thrilled about being a parent, just as they know I'm not always thrilled with them. Throughout my childhood, I knew about my mom's regrets as well. This knowledge was good for my understanding of motherhood. It was also paradoxically good for my self-esteem. I knew I was worth all the freedom and career options Mom gave up.

So I wanted to ask: Do you tell your children about the mixed blessings of becoming a parent? Do you share with them the challenges of juggling work and family? What are the tradeoffs of telling your children the truth?

And speaking of candor, a reminder that the On Balance Virtual Book Club discussion of John Dickerson's honest reckoning with his high powered working mother, On Her Trail, is currently underway. Please join the discussion if you've read the book and have something to say about it.

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  January 12, 2007; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  Free-for-All
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