In Defense of the Dual-Earner Household

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

One of the great myths of the work-life balancing discussion is that (as neotraditionalist rabblerouser Caitlin Flanagan once put it) "when a mother [or father] works, something is lost." The idea that kids with two working parents are somehow getting shafted is plausible enough to fuel an avalanche of books of the glories of at-home parenthood, but the actual data on this point is always pretty meager.

That's why I was excited to read through this essay from the American Prospect's incredibly exhaustive series of essays on work-family balance (titled "Mother Load," but thankfully cognizant of fathers). In it, author Kathleen Gerson talks to a number of young adults about their perceptions of family, starting with their impressions of their own upbringings. And here, she drops a bombshell of sorts:

Those who grew up in dual-earner homes were least ambivalent about their parents' arrangements. More than three-fourths thought their parents had chosen the best option. Having two work-committed parents not only provided increased economic resources for the family but also promoted marriages that seemed more egalitarian and satisfying.

And while Gerson notes that "working long hours or coping with blocked opportunities and family-unfriendly workplaces took their toll," it seems pretty clear the kids from households with two working parents were more impressed with that arrangement than those who grew up in a more traditional setting.

There are always snide commenters who like to trot out the old saw that if you have kids you should forgot about balance, quit your job, and be an at-home parent. Gerson's research serves as a welcome rejoinder to those views.

On the flip side, the essay shouldn't be taken as "proof" that all at-home parents should immediately get their suits dry-cleaned and their resumes updated. Every family has a different dynamic, and there is no one-size-fits-all family arrangement. Indeed, that should be the point: You can predict very little about the future happiness of a kid who goes to daycare or stays home with dad (or mom) or gets taken care of by grammy or a nanny.

Gerson's ultimate conclusions are also great food for thought -- and I'm sure I'll get back to them in a few weeks.

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

By Brian Reid |  March 15, 2007; 7:30 AM ET  | Category:  Childcare , Conflicts , Division of Labor , Research
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