Do Older Dads Make Better Dads?

"This may surprise you," said David Popenoe, a director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. "But in many cases, older fathers' testosterone levels have dropped, so they to be more nurturing."

That quote's taken from last Thursday's New York Times article He's Not My Grandpa. He's My Dad about late-life fatherhood. Turns out there's a tiny minority of dads who are older than 60 when their children are born. According to the piece, there are only about 2,000 or so births a year to fathers this age. But the reports from the dads are fascinating.

"It's so pleasant," said 73-year-old dad Dr. J. Allan Hobson, a retired Harvard Medical School professor and the father of twin 10-year-olds. "My success as a scientist depended upon my neglecting my first set of children. Now that I'm retired we have a lot more time together."

"I must say the feeling is good," said Saul Cohen, the 69-year-old chairman of Maxim Securities Group in Manhattan, and dad to Lily, also 10. "I don't think I react like I used to. I'm not as quick off the trigger. I'm more laid back."

Here we have it: The solution to absent, workaholic, stressball dads who are too busy to take kids to pediatrician appointments or the playground is simply to delay fatherhood a few decades! We discussed the pros and cons of women delaying childbirth in Ladies, Freeze Your Eggs!, but what if men and women postponed childbearing until our careers were over and we could devote our retirements to raising kids? Okay, death might be looming a bit closer on the horizon if you become a parent at 70. (Although technology is clearly making inroads on death, too.)

So consider a modification: Don't wait until you're 60 or 70 to have kids. Just until you're 40 or 50. Perhaps achieving the degree of economic security and/or career success that often comes by middle age will be sufficient to avoid the often excruciating "I can't be at work and with my kids at the same time" tradeoffs that plague everyone who is trying to raise children during their peak earning years.

Have you delayed having kids, to some degree, to achieve better balance? Do you know others who have? What do you see as the pros and cons?

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  April 16, 2007; 7:15 AM ET  | Category:  Dads
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