First, but anonymous!

I am not so sure it is the workplace where people are concerned about remaining anonymous. Many are protecting their private lives and family.

Well, I've never written a guest blog, but I would choose to be anonymous also.

"To refuse the opportunity to attach a name to those efforts seem a little weird."

I think it seems weird to Brian because he is a writer who, naturally, stives to have his name in print.

I am basically shy, and don't like to be the center of attention. When I have to give a presentation at work to more than 5 people, I get sick and actually think I may have to trhow up. My biggest audience has been 20 people who were co-workers, and I still get nauseous.

I would never submit anything to a newspaper, including a letter to the editor, if I have to use my name.

Or maybe the anonymity allows us to be more open with what we write. Sometimes, as you have seem with this blog, our ideas and feelings don't go over well with the crowd.

Being able to express our ideas and opinions without fear of reprisals is part of what free writing is about and what draws millions of people to comment.

I think most people are reluctant to disclose their public identity on the Internet, not knowing who can (or will) look up something they may have said weeks or even years later.

Then there's the capability of finding out even more information about someone just from knowing their name and the city they live in. Someone with a good search engine and knowing what questions to ask can find out a -lot- about someone if they know their name and home city.

Anonymity is good if the guest blog sucks. If it's good, add a name.

I think people remain anonymous so that he or she can speak freely even if the comments "go against the grain" and also not have to deal with people perhaps recognizing him or her in "real" life.

I find a number of people on this blog to be intolerant of other's views so why would anyone want to reveal themselves?

we're told to teach our children what a dangerous place cyberspace is. So why shouldn't we follow our own advice and take basic prophylactic measures to protect our own identities?

it may also be an issue of not being nailed using company time and resources to blog. take, for example, foamgnome (for whom i have a great deal of respect BTW.) attaching her nom-de-plume to her guest blog gave it both credibility and depth because we've heard so much from her about her life and views. linking her "real" name to the blog adds nothing, yet increases the chance that someone at her office will notice how much she participates in the blog. no matter how enlightened a particular workplace is, that's not something *I* would want. Would you, Brian Reid?

finally, i suspect rebeldad is coming at this from a slightly skewed prospective - that of a professional writer. you are right - Fred's piece was beautiful, and i suspect anyone would be proud to have written it. but i think many of us coming here, consciously or not, treat this blog as an ongoing conversation, not as a static written text (and yes, I know - no written text is really static!). i know i think of it as a cyber-version of the coconut telegraph... what do you think?

"Fred's piece was beautiful, and i suspect anyone would be proud to have written it."

Interesting. I had such great expectations from Fred, that I was somewhat disappointed in his piece.

Considering the enormous raw material he has to work with, his piece was surprisingly ordinary and not in an everyman way. It was plain mediocre.

Every fool has a name, but only some people have ideas worth expressing.

Ideas with merit stand on their own whether the person uses a "real" name, pen name, or no name at all.

Hey Brian,

I am only 54. Will not be 55 until later this year!

"Or maybe the anonymity allows us to be more open with what we write."

Survey says: ding ding ding ding!!

Writing a guest blog would be a one-shot deal, and I'd be happy to attach my name to that. BUT then people would know who "Laura" was. And all of the other stuff that I've written here over time is way, way, way more info than I would be comfortable knowing that the people I deal with every day might know about the real me. I mean, if I had some opposing counsel who I'd never met before come up to me and say, hey, hope baby boy has gotten through that rough patch from last winter, that would completely weird me out.

Has nothing to do with being intimidated to talk about balance issues at work -- we actually tend to talk about that a fair bit here. It's just the realization that I have zero control over who sees the info once I post it here, and what they do with it. "Plausible deniability," anyone? :-)

Off-topic to KLB SS MD from last night: nope, that wasn't me -- sorry!

I loved Fred's guest blog!

"Considering the enormous raw material he has to work with, his piece was surprisingly ordinary and not in an everyman way. It was plain mediocre"

This is why being anonymous is good. But then again who really care what this person this about Fred's piece.

I'm with Laura on the 'plausible deniability.' :-)

I think it relates to balance in one way: I think those of us who live in big urban centres, in particular, compartmentalize our lives a lot (this may not be as easy in a small town where everyone seems to know everyone).

At work I share only specific things; I don't often talk a lot about work with my friends and family; I have friends that I share some things with others that I share other things with. With work in particular I do feel that my work culture encourages a certain brand of professionalism where a lot of things are checked at the door.

Those divisions in my life have the potential to be wiped away by the Internet, because my family, friends, and coworkers all have access to Google. Hence pseudonyms. It's a control issue really - I am not /ashamed/ of anything I've written on the web, although there are a few usenet posts from my college days... ahem. Anyway.

I prefer to have some say over which parts of my life overlap. That is kind of the cultural expectation. Sometimes I wonder if the 'net will actually wipe that away.

This is the best topic you could come up with Brian? Really? zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Many are protecting their private lives and family." KLB

This is precisely why I use my nom de blog.

There is no google hit for me, my first cousin is the one that comes up with my given name and I would rather not there be one.

I will tell you that Fred has been my nickname since I was in the army many, many years ago.

Thank you for your kind words and to 8:12, I don't mind honest critiques.

I keep writing with my pen name as the anonymity (sp?) helps me organize my own thoughts and when these issues come up on the home front I have a clue on conventional wisdom especially from the F point of view on this blog. Has been really helpful. I am on a trading desk so I can watch markets, trade, reconcile, price - whatever - with the browser window open. I rarely see the outside world during daylight - so this blog and others help me attain balance.

Mustang II took a huge beating a few days ago. Her keeping herself anonymous was a good thing for her because it allowed to to be open and honest.

I sought advice here on dealing with DS's school yesterday. I KNOW that other parents at DS's school read this blog. Having my actual identity attached to this screen name at any point could create real problems.

I use this nickname for privacy reasons, as others have also stated. I'm also pretty sensitive, so it's better for me to have people insult me with a fake name versus my real name (pretty silly, I know).

I did write a guest blog (yet to be published) and used my blog name. As someone else wrote, I thought it was best for the other readers who may have gotten to know me. My real name would have meant nothing to them.

Off topic,

I just got Peeps and Pez from a co-worker for Easter. It's going to be a great day!

(Is 8:45 too early for a couple peeps?)

Meesh,
It is never to early for Peeps (pink or yellow?)

8:12,

This is why I work as a contracts administrator rather than a writer. Good writing is tough, the talent for excellent writing is rare. Even Fitzgerald had his critics (no, not even comparing myself to him.)

Did you like my verse of last Monday?

Meesh - Go for the Pez. Peeps are for amateurs ;-)

Note to self - Must replenish kids' Easter baskets before Sunday...

KLB, they're pink! And their herd has now thinned to three.

I didn't have great luck in the pez department, though. Two of the three packs are lemon. :(

To Fred: Apologies. I always thought you seemed spritely.

To Just About Everyone Else: Thanks for the thoughts. While I keep details about my kids and wife (names, etc.) out for those reasons, I had no idea that concerns about internet privacy ran so deep. And I do appreciate folks like foamgnome and Fred who have kept their posting names out there and consistent, allowing us to build a rapport with them.

what is a pez.?

The multi flavored packs are the best Pez (IMHO).

You've reached adulthood without knowing what Pez are???? Child abuse.

http://www.pez.com/

Check out The New PEZ Chopper Created by the Orange County Choppers of TV Fame on the USA part of the site.

Frieda gave me the OCC Pez for Christmas. She just loves Mikey!

Fred,
OCC?

Privacy issues are definitely the biggest.

You just never know who will google you years from now. At least the internet was small and all when I ( and I suppose many of us) were in high school/college). Apparently, many youngsters out there are learning that mistakes they've made as teens will come back to haunt them when they are applying for jobs in their twenties.

KLB,

Hello! Did you have your coffee this am?

OCC= Orange County Choppers

:pparently, many youngsters out there are learning that mistakes they've made as teens will come back to haunt them when they are applying for jobs in their twenties."

Posted by: atlmom | April 5, 2007 09:10 AM

Boy, I am glad that the internet was not around when I was a teen! Not that I did anything wrong, just saying!

Fred,
Yes I did so no excuse so a big DUFUS award for KLB today.

atlmom,
Things are coming back to haunt them now. I have read about companies that check out the myspace accounts before hiring. Those drunken pics or nudes aren't going to help you get accepted to law school or the police academy.

KLB, that bike is a trip! How on earth did you find it? I guess you must be really into either bikes or pez. Both are completely acceptable hobbies, IMO.

On topic, now that I think about it, my stage name does have something to do with work. I don't share anything here that I wouldn't share with my co-workers, so that's not a problem. But I wouldn't want all of them reading the blog and talking to me. I think the fact that it's anonymous is what makes it fun. The same goes for friends and family. I talk about the blog sometimes, but I wouldn't tell them my handle. Of course, they'd eventually figure it out after reading for a while.

I am probably pretty naive/paranoid but I stick with my pen name here because I am worried that a Google search might peg me as someone who's hoping to someday get pregnant. I don't want to give my present or any potential future employers that clue. I know that pregnancy discrimination is illegal but I can't help fearing that it happens pretty frequently. So I use a pseudonym for my own peace of mind.

(That, and I have a harmless stalker from my past who every now and then bugs me. So I'd rather keep my name offline as much as possible, even though it means I can't have a website to promote myself professionally, which kind of sucks)

All that being said, I love the colorful nom de plumes that some of us have adopted -- foamgnome, care to share the story behind yours?

And Meesh -- I could totally trip on some Peeps right about now!! I hope my mom/mom-in-law come through with the creme eggs on Sunday, too. ;) (though my favorite is robins' eggs . . . I hoard those at the after-Easter sales just like I do candy corns in November)

Meesh,
I missed my calling. Instead of being a nurse I should have been a researcher. I can find almost anything on the internet given enough time. Pez.com wasn't too hard :-)

Again privacy and work issues rank highest with keeping my identity hidden. This blog started right around the time I found out I was pregnant. Before that I never posted anything online but found an audience here that has been amazingly helpful with certain issues, especially with being a novice parent. Being able to ask personal/sensitive questions without people knowing who I am has been very nice as I am generally a very private person with only a few close friends. Honestly, most people on the planet get on my nerves:) so this blog has afforded me the ability to tune out and in when needed.

Well, I'm anonymous because my in-laws still think I "made him mentally ill", and the last thing I need is for them to recognize me in print or online.

But in the distant past, I did get a letter to the editor published in the Post, with my name. I was rather excited about it!

I'm actually interested in this topic -- because I've wondered about a lot of the same issues that Brian raises. Personally, I think it may be that people don't give a lot of information because the topic is so sensitive and there's a tendency for people to look for reasons to discredit the speaker when they make a particularly compelling argument. (I.E. All those people who felt that LInda Hirschman was a "liar" when they found out she actually had kids.) If you argue that you "have to work" and give your name, someone here will surely google it and post the stats about how big your house is (using tax assessment records)and how much you paid for it. Nowadays, people can find out your salary, where you went to college, etc. etc. etc. and all that information CAN be used against you, unfortunately.

BTW, speaking of errors that young people make on the internet, I used to work for a nonprofit that mentored minority kids applying to college, and if you haven't done this already, please make sure your child gets ANOTHER e-mail account for all college-related correspondence, which is somewhat professional. (Somehow when "2bunniesonthebeach@aol.com" sends an e-mail inquiring about scholarships, it just doesn't get taken as seriously).
BAck to your regularly scheduled programs . .

The things people say are personal. I don't think it's unreasonable to want to remain un-named.

It makes the forum better because real experiences, good and bad, get aired.

In the end, this is the World Wide Web. I once tracked down someone I met on another parenting site. I googled her screen name, and was able to find her real name, where she works, where she went to college, and where she lives. Luckily, this isn't information I was going to use for evil purposes (or any purpose, really). All I wanted was her book review site, where she critiques novels, and I was able to find that. And this isn't even for someone who used her "real" name on a blog...

"But in the distant past, I did get a letter to the editor published in the Post, with my name. I was rather excited about it!"

It is a bit of a rush to see your name in print! I have been published before in professional journals and letters to the editor.

I have also been interviewed on TV in Hawaii, Pittsburg and N.O. (all under my given name)

I remember the first time I had a phone in my name I looked it up in the phone book. Does that count?

Exactly what I'm talking about klb. I know that there have been pix of me when I was younger out there, but I don't think they are still there and I know they are not googlable (is that a word?).

I'm a big geek, and hung out with big geeks, so this was at least a decade before myspace. And google for that matter.

If you google my name you will find my very respectable volunteer effortrs, as well as some letters to the editor written many many moons ago(when they were written, no newspapers were on line at the time, even).

1) for work and personal reasons. Why would you want your employer reading something you wrote pro or con about the work enviroment. Personally, I don't want to be identified or my family.
2) I think you can be more honest if you remain anonymous.
3) I often wondered if you wrote another guest blog with another pen name, how it might be perceived.
Part of the beauty of blogs in anonymous forum and the other part is on going dialogue using pen names.
4) short story on foam gnomes: I know I have posted this a couple of times but one more time. When I was in college one of my friends liked to steal gnomes off of people's property. He called it liberating the gnomes. I felt so bad one time, that I went the next morning and left a foam gnome at the house that he had just swiped from. Just a funny reminder of that care free time of life.

People choose to be anonymous on this blog for several reasons.

1) They should actually be working instead of surfing the net or participating in an online discussion.
2) They don't want people to know their true identity based on what they say.
3) For safety reasons---they don't want complete strangers being able to tag them and find them, visit their home, workplace, etc.
4) Some people don't feel the need to disclose every piece of information about themselves.
5) They simply don't care.

The internet in general is an anonymous "ring" where some people feel more comfortable giving details about their lives by not fully releasing who they are. Check out any chat room, blog, etc. and you will see anonymity at work.

Brian - It's all been said already, but people use this forum as a release - anonymity gives them more freedom with their expressions and opinions. Most Blogs are anonymous - it is not something new and unique so I am not sure whay the question is being asked now after 7-8 years (9-10, maybe more) of blogging.

Now, if Fred (or any guest writer)wanted to start thier own Blog I am sure the question would be more relevant. To provide a daily dose of anonymous writing on your own blog, then to expect a loyal following is a very different story.

Fred - if you ever start your own blog - will you reveal your secret identity??

Exactly what I'm talking about klb. I know that there have been pix of me when I was younger out there, but I don't think they are still there and I know they are not googlable (is that a word?).

I'm a big geek, and hung out with big geeks, so this was at least a decade before myspace. And google for that matter.

If you google my name you will find my very respectable volunteer effortrs, as well as some letters to the editor written many many moons ago(when they were written, no newspapers were on line at the time, even).

Posted by: atlmom | April 5, 2007 09:32 AM

But...if you google your screen name, which I just did, it comes up on other sites. Of course, someone else can have the same "nick" as you.

Now you guys have me craving Easter candy, and my family doesn't do baskets anymore. My MIL does, but last year I got earrings and towels.

Can't eat those!

If I wrote a guest blog, I would certainly put my name on it. For one thing, an anonymous poster's opinions can only be given so much weight. If one truly stands behind what one writes, that person will put their name behind it.

Further, most reputable newspapers and organizations require a full name before printing similar content, such as a letter to the editor. It is just good journalistic practice.

Allowing anonymous guest blogs just allows whiners to vent with no accountability. I tend to think some of the lesser-quality guest blogs would have been more insightful if their authors were required to lend their name to their work product.

Using one's real name is about accountability and quality control. If I cared enough about an issue to submit a guest blog, there's no way I would use my somewhat corny moniker. I would proudly attach my name because I take pride in my work. And as a former journalist, the fact the Post even allows this makes me cringe.

Anyone can pick a screen name and go off on a rant. I don't care much to hear from those people. I care to hear from those who take ownership of their work and of their thoughts. In fact, I've never read an anon guest blog worth reading.

Klb: yes, that counts. Raise your hand if you also looked up your name in the phone book.

(Raises hand)

visit www.foamgnome.com

Approximately 60,000 posts have been made to the comment section on the Onbalance blog.
There are 8848 different names.
Over 10,000 posts contain blank names.

Although there exists 553 regulars who have contributed over 10 posts, 61 individual have posted over 100 times and account for 28,137 submissions or slightly shy of 50%.

But...if you google your screen name, which I just did, it comes up on other sites. Of course, someone else can have the same "nick" as you.
TO Atlmom | April 5, 2007 09:37 AM

Never really thought about that. Just googled "2terrificboys" and discovered that apparently i'm an ebay pro. Of course, i've never had any luck buying anything from ebay, but hey - if it's the same screen name, it must be me, right? Right?

Oh no, i think i'm having a existential crisis of cyber-being...

The paradox is what Brian stated. When we write we want to be known. When we comment we would rather be unknown. As a screenwriter, my name is all over my scripts, but commenting on blogs and other things like that I am John Q. I hide because I have the freedom to say what I like. When the world knows what I am saying I would rather have the world know who I am.

foamgnome, I never get tired of that story. Save the Gnomes!!

Fred, this place would be a less funny place without you. Fred is always good for a chuckle. I credit him with the lawyer jokes that brought Mona back to us.

visit www.foamgnome.com

Posted by: yahoo'd | April 5, 2007 09:41 AM

That is hysterical. And no that is not my website.

To to atlmom: well, it is not me- it is a pretty generic nick. In any event an employer can't find it anyway...

Catmommy: I understand your unhappiness with the practice- but I think sometimes people put more personal information in the blog than they would if they were to reveal their name.

Well, I used my real name on my guest blog and did so for some of the reasons outlined by catmommy. I think it is perfectly reasonable to stick with an anonymous name, but for me it felt right to go out on a limb. Marc and I have made the championing of work/life balance issues of central importance in our lives, and at some point it just made sense to put our names behind our activism. Just as someone trying to build a reputation in any career field, we're trying to do so as spokespeople for a particular type of work/life balance. It is a risk, surely, but one that we felt was worth the increased ability to make a difference. Being an anonymous activist is possible, but it is limiting. If prospective employers Google us and find our comments and work, that is okay with us. At this point, if employers don't want to consider us for jobs because we believe in balanced lives, we probably wouldn't be happy working for them.

I definitely want to protect my children's identity in a global way, and so draw the line there. And when I post on topics other than parenting/work (here or on other websites), I'm happy to remain anonymous for all the reasons listed by others above.

Shandra and Laura expressed most of what I would have said, but far more eloquently. I have 2 additional points.

First, I am part of a business in which my poor judgment could reflect poorly on my colleagues. They have a right to expect me to keep my web presence limited to professional info, for the good of the business. Clients and potential clients google me on a weekly basis (they tell me, comment on my photo, educational background, whatever) and I can ill afford to have them bump into personal details, political opinions, etc. in the process of conducting what for all intents and purposes is an online background check.

Second, my husband, kids, and friends have no control over my comments, and I have posted much personal information about them in the context of discussing various topics. It would be a betrayal of their trust for me to post information that would permit someone to identify them.

I see a tremendous benefit, though, for readers when submissions are consistently posted using a single moniker because past posts provide context for the positions various people take. That is enough, without names or other personally identifiable info, to make the content of value to readers.

Catmommy you are full of catpoopy. Since you are former journalist and your standards are so high, I wonder why you even visit this blog. Maybe to make yourself feel superior. We is just regular folks here, yup-yup........

"I'd be curious to know more about why folks choose to scrub their name from their posts. "

Because many of the posters here are cruel, snarky, sarcastic, threatening, and condescending. Like I want them to know what my real name is.

(G'head, say it, because I know it's coming - "like we want to know what your real name is.")

"Second, my husband, kids, and friends have no control over my comments, and I have posted much personal information about them in the context of discussing various topics. It would be a betrayal of their trust for me to post information that would permit someone to identify them."

MN, that's another really good point. My family doesn't have a voice here, so full identifiers would be unfair to them.

A couple of friends of mine pulled photos of their children and deleted their names from the family blogs (both myspace and stand alone) after I mentioned to them that they were providing anonymous viewers way too much information on their families.

That may be paranoia, or it may just be simple caution. After all, no one has any idea who is looking at a website via the Internet, or to what purpose they intend to do with whatever info they can get off of it.

I've got no problem with people wanting to remain anonymous online, especially if they are disclosing personal information that could be used against them by an employer or someone else. It's why I avoid using my actual name; I doubt I'd be as forthcoming about my life and my friends' lives if people knew who I really was.

What is the difference between catlady and catmommy?

I thought catlady was an engineer professor person and catmommy was obviously some sort of journalist at one time.

Catlady and catmommy two completely different people - do not confuse them.

Because many of the posters here are cruel, snarky, sarcastic, threatening, and condescending. Like I want them to know what my real name is.

(G'head, say it, because I know it's coming - "like we want to know what your real name is.")

Posted by: | April 5, 2007 10:12 AM

It's not coming from me. I like to speak in complete sentences.

What is the difference between catlady and catmommy?

Posted by: | April 5, 2007 10:16 AM

This question cries out for the Logan airport test, e.g., if you were stuck at Logan for 4 hours awaiting boarding, with which poster would you rather spend that 4 hours? It's not a close call.

One thing about secrecy is that many of you have disclosed more than enough information for a person to figure out who you are and where you live. When you starting naming towns, schools/homeschooling, occupations, cars you drive, etc., you really narrow the field. Some of you who think you are anon may not be, especially to those who read this blog regularly. Such is life on the information superhighway.

I haven't read the comments, so maybe this has already been said, but I would NEVER send anything to this blog, except anonymously b/c the commenters tear people to shreds. I will never forget one of the guest bloggers getting totally ripped to shreds (and her husband too) last summer. I thought it was absolutely awful, and frankly I wouldn't want to put myself through it. You never know how the commenters are going to take something (or misconstrue or whatever.) Not worth it to me.

Spurred by foamgnome: "I think you can be more honest if you remain anonymous. "

I think this i san interested and sometimes true point-- but as another poster said earlier, anonylity allows people to also be less than honest-- i.e. say "I have to work in order to live" and no one can dispute that-- but if they did provide an actual name, then they would have have to tell the truth "I work because I think that is the best thing for my family/ society."

I think both points are valid, even though they are opposing. I would prefer that the posters who takes offense at those who say mothers should stay at home be honest about their situtation rather than get defensive and say "But I HAVE to work!" but on the other hand, forcing people to use their real names woudl certainly stifle personal revelations. So in the end, we all just have to take everything we read hear with a grain of salt.

(Watch how this post is going to spur hundreds of anonymous people to say-- "no, when I wrote that I really need to work to live, I really meant it!" Listen, if that's the case, then this isn't directed to you. It's directed at people who get defensive rather than honest about working mothers, and sadly thereby set back the women's movement by accepting the argument that mothers should only work if it is necessary for food and shelter. I wish more mothers were strong and proud of their working circumstances rather than defensive about it.

Of course the Blog would be named "Fred's Fabulous Forum of Feeding." (breast that is) But I would not want to embarrass Frieda that way!

No blog for me as I am not a creative writer. Also, I really do not want my entire life under a microscope as many public people's are.

Fred and only Fred

I will specifically address Catmommy's point to say that all papers allow "name withheld by request" Blogs are conversation not hard news.

I think the difference in the anon or pseudonym vs. given name issue is dependent on what is written. If a person is writing non-fiction, news accounts, professional papers, scholarly research, etc, of course the given name is used. If a person is writing fiction, a strong desire for anonymity is sometimes desired. Consider that Mark Twain and many other writers of fiction write under an assumed name.

As to the internet, blogs with noms de net are quite common, probably for any and all reasons posted above.

Fred

"Consider that Mark Twain and many other writers of fiction write under an assumed name. "

As do writers of non-fiction sometimes wrie under assumed names.

Some of you who think you are anon may not be, especially to those who read this blog regularly.

Posted by: | April 5, 2007 10:22 AM

You or someone who agrees with you posted a comment akin to this in the last several weeks. For most of us, its poppycock. Certainly it's possible that someone could reveal too much, particularly if she or he disclosed a job title shared by few, e.g., "I'm CEO of the number 1 laptop manufacturer in the U.S.". Most of us are cogs in one or more employer machines.

On the other hand, you and many of us have an exaggerated sense of our "uniqueness," for lack of a better word. To synthesize the key details of my virtual disclosures into a neat laundry list, if you or anyone else had access to all perfect information and made a list of the IP transactional lawyers residing in Cary NC and working in Raleigh NC who drive a Maxima, are Episcopalian ACC fans, married and have 2 kids (a boy and a girl), one of whom is ADD, you'd have a list of about 50+ female attorneys and for someone who doesn't read carefully, 150 male attorneys. Because of the unusual level of candor to posts on this blog, frankly, I'm not even sure my husband could identify me if he read every one of my posts for a couple of months.

My personal and professional details are not unique. My story is shared by many. In real life, my feelings are known only to me. In light of the plausible deniability Laura mentioned, few of us have any realistic fear of exposure.

"One thing about secrecy is that many of you have disclosed more than enough information for a person to figure out who you are and where you live. When you starting naming towns, schools/homeschooling, occupations, cars you drive, etc., you really narrow the field. Some of you who think you are anon may not be, especially to those who read this blog regularly. Such is life on the information superhighway."

To clarify my earlier point: I don't have any illusions about others' ability to identify me and track me down based on what I've said so far. I just don't think anyone would care enough.

I'm more concerned with things going the other way -- for ex., as MN noted above, someone googling me under my real name and coming across the blog.

I like being anonymous on this blog because it's a sounding board for decisions I haven't made yet, and issues I haven't formed a position on. I don't really want my employer to know I'm thinking about adopting yet--there will be plenty of time to share that information when I've made up my mind. Heck, I don't even want Mr Bee to know how often I think about it--we talk about it reasonably often but we have a pretty different decision-making style and I am pretty sure he'd take my level of interest as an indication that I want to go for it, which isn't totally the case.
Also, as Shandra said above, it's a natural thing especially for a city dweller to have a pretty compartmentalized life.

Wake me up when there's a real topic.

worker bee said, "I'm thinking about adopting"
Best wishes. I hope you go for it. Adoption is a beautiful way to build to a family.

tick tock. tick tock.

Like in "Primary Colors, A Novel of Politics" by anonymous.

I just wonder how Joe Klein cashed the royalty check made out to anonymous?

"Wake me up when there's a real topic.

Don't count on a real topic today, Sleeping Beauty. Soon the discussions will center on cocktails and breastfeeding!

Who has time to give flying f**k why someone is anonymous????? Get a vacuum cleaner for your navel lint!

If Brian had the slightest inkling that his kids/wife could be in any danger from pyschos using Internet info, he would instantly become anonymous.

"Although there exists 553 regulars who have contributed over 10 posts, 61 individual have posted over 100 times and account for 28,137 submissions or slightly shy of 50%."

Posted by: Blog Stats | April 5, 2007 09:43 AM

OK, I will bite, who are they other 60?

another Brian column completely exhausted after 2 hours.

all the problems and dilemmas relating to balance and encountered by millions must have been solved overnight.

A lawyer and a blonde woman happen to be sitting next to each other on a
flight from LA to New York. The lawyer leans over to the blonde and asks if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and turns over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains how the game works. "I ask you a question; and, if you don't know the answer, you pay me and vice-versa."

Again, the blonde politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer.
"Okay, how about this. If you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; but, if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention and figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the
Earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a 5-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs, and comes down with 4?"

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress.
Frustrated he sends e-mails to all his coworkers and all of his friends;
all to no avail. After over an hour of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to go back to sleep.
The lawyer, who cannot imagine what the answer is, is going nuts trying to figure it out. He is more than a little frustrated. He wakes the blonde and asks, "So? What does go up a hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4?" !

The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

and the moral of the story is: don't carry cash and you won't be tempted to wager it on a really stupid bet.

MN-but to me, you are unique!

I've definitely spent way too much time teaching kids not to give specific information over the internet.

Then there was the time I found a picture of #1 son (now 26) semi-naked with a guitar strategically placed on the internet...and another picture, evidently from the same night, where he was downing a beer bong...I advised him to remove the photos, but even now, 4 years later, I can still find them...everything lives forever on the internet...which is my reason for being dotted.

"Wake me up when there's a real topic.

Don't count on a real topic today, Sleeping Beauty. Soon the discussions will center on cocktails and breastfeeding!

Who has time to give flying f**k why someone is anonymous????? Get a vacuum cleaner for your navel lint!

If Brian had the slightest inkling that his kids/wife could be in any danger from pyschos using Internet info, he would instantly become anonymous.

Posted by: | April 5, 2007 10:50 AM

pATRICK? Is it you, honey?

I just ate two rows of purple peeps and feel sick to my stomach... good thing that I am anon

"Fred's piece may well have been the best single post I've read on this blog"

Huh?? I don't remember there being any big revelations about how to achieve balance that day. Fred loved his dad. If we're lucky, most of us love or loved our dads. Okay....what's to talk about?

Then there was the time I found a picture of #1 son (now 26) semi-naked with a guitar strategically placed on the internet...and another picture, evidently from the same night, where he was downing a beer bong...I advised him to remove the photos, but even now, 4 years later, I can still find them...everything lives forever on the internet...which is my reason for being dotted.

Posted by: dotted | April 5, 2007 10:57 AM

dear God, dotted, and this is how well they listened? I fear the future as my children strategically ignore all of my carefully transferred wisdom, LOL.

and thank you - to me, you are unique as well.

"Catmommy you are full of catpoopy."

Very clever, oh secretive one. I stand corrected.

Well, I will leave the name what it is, not out of fear of anything in particular (I share Fred's age) but because I consider these sorts of internet discussions as casual and not formal.

Anyway, I could not work for a firm that sought out information about me from the Internet search engines. If they are so stupid as to take anything known to be out of context, perhaps incorrect and certainly outdated, as worthwhile, I do not think I will be able to do anything constructive in their company.

Secondly, every once in a while I will google my name and very little comes of it, mostly information on technical papers written by another fellow in another part of the country also so named.

About the only thing worthwhile to be considered is that, from reading the comments of the intelligent people here, I often don't know much about the subjects at hand. So, I might retain my elusive identity in an effort to hide my lack of knowledge. I'm not sure I want my wife to know just how clueless I am. Though I think she might already.

Actually, I have thought about this, as I contemplated writing a guest blog and in that context, my inclination is to use my "real" name - but I agree with everyone who has pointed out that it would have less context if regular readers didn't also know my handle ... but I haven't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing! It might be interesting to see if I was responded to differently if people didn't make the connection :)
Like most here, I don't particularly want the casual acquaintenances in my life to be able to read everything I've written on this blog (yeah, yeah, for the slacking at work aspect too!). I have an unusual name, and when I am googled, the results are pretty much all me, so I try to be extra careful in monitoring what can be printed by and about me - there isn't the shred of doubt there might be if my name was something common and thousands of results came back.

You should re-read Fred's column with the viewpoint that he was speaking of balance of a entire life not just a particular day, month or even year.

Foamy, I googled your posting name and got 246 hits and your guest blog came up 2nd on the index followed by other Onbalance blogs.

Then I googled Father of 4 knowing the words were so common that anything I had to do with this blog would be buried way, way deep. I'll be darned if the guest blog I submitted back in September didn't get indexed 4th out of 126,000.

Leslie, I have a sneeky suspicion that your column generates a significant amount of advertising revenue.

As far as keeping anonymous, I'm sure there are people that read this blog and know me personally. But, so what? If anybody tried to hold what I've written or shared against me, it would be laughable. But hey, everyone could use a good laugh now and then I suppose.

"You should re-read Fred's column with the viewpoint that he was speaking of balance of a entire life not just a particular day, month or even year"

That's why it is so disappointing. Think of what it could have been!!!!!!

TakomaMom, Whether anonymously or with your name, I hope you follow through and submit a guest blog.

I've tried Googling myself, to no avail. I have the plainest, most ordinary name in the world. There are thousands of Google pages that come up, and anyone who feels like paging through all that to find me is welcome to my information (assuming that they guess correctly which one is me). My friends can't even find me on MySpace, even when they change the parameters for city and school. I might as well be John Smith.

Now, if I'd ended up marrying the BF-ish, I'd have a MUCH more unique name and that would be a lot easier to find. But I didn't, so I feel relatively safe.

To Foamgnome, who wrote: "I thought catlady was an engineer professor person..."

Dear Foamy (if I may be so personal), I only wish I had such an awesome profession. However, if you're ever job-hunting, I'd like to hire you as my agent, because considering how good you made me look good the blog board today, I can only imagine the benefits to my actual career (especially on my website!).

(Hearts), catlady.

"I thought catlady was an engineer professor person."

that's dotted, among others.

My children are now 10 and 7. Five years ago I basically demoted (sp?) because I was perceived to be too concerned about my children! It was done in such a way that I could never sue. I was allowed to keep my salary and my supervisory duties, but I was put on a low-profile project with one day notice. Every time I complained, I was told that I should be happy! I've spent five years working to change my reputation. I don't dare link my name to this blog!!!

I've actually gotten into trouble at work for something I said on my own time, on a public discussion group, months after I said it.

A particular legislator got mentioned in a news article about how he wanted a particular alternative considered on a particular bridge project, and all I did was provide the link and some quotes from the news article to the discussion group.

However, this particular legislator apparently has some of his staff do nothing but search for his name on the internet, found my comment on the discussion group, and before I knew it, I had my branch manager telling me to not do that again, months after I actually did it.

Even though he agreed with me that I didn't do anything wrong, when legislators have thin skins that isn't always enough (especially when I work for the agency responsible for handling that project).

Apparently, because I work for that agency, anything I say in a public forum about any project can be construed to be an "official statement", which I said was 100% bovine fecal matter.

"You should re-read Fred's column with the viewpoint that he was speaking of balance of a entire life not just a particular day, month or even year."

Is that supposed to be a big, shocking, unique point of view? Maybe that's why so many of you are not balanced, if you're trying to balance individual days instead of your entire life.

#1 son didn't listen to well....actually he did, but heck, he was 21 and an adult at the time of the errrr...photo op. He was also p*ssed from too much beer. Never mix beer with cameras with internet. Wise words that.

And a special "Thank you" to KLB SS MD, too!

Since I believe I came to this blog board after catmommy, perhaps it behooves me to change my nom-de-blog. Several other regulars already have, so it wouldn't be unprecedented, and might avoid future confusion (although the cat will be insulted).

FWIW, I agree with SOME of catmommy's points, but disagree with others. Even in the MSM, occasional commentaries are published anonymously when the writer has compelling reasons -- although the publisher knows the identity of the work's author, which I believe also to be the case for Leslie WRT this board's anonymously-published guest bloggers. But I'd have to write a veritable essay (oh, no!) in order to discuss my views in the necessary depth, for which I lack the time today -- so you all get at least a one-day reprieve (whew!).

"Never mix beer with cameras with internet."

I aspire to your reason and rationality over the next several years, and will keep the above quoted phrase in my shorthand of guiding statements to my kids.

Aren't we all anonymous? I don't know any of you. You don't know me. Nom de plumes aren't any better than "Anonymous" or leaving the name space blank. It always kills me how people get all up in arms because someone makes a posting and leaves the name space blank. As if "Dilbert's Mom" or "Dad of 6" gives you any more information. We're here to share ideas and stories, not identities.

Each member of an interview team at my company googles each applicant. It's not a policy, but it's become a habit for professionals in our industry. Last week, we declined to make an offer to an otherwise (on paper) stellar applicant, because he runs a blog and has posted many, many comments on legal and political topics. Some jobs require judgment. This is one of them. You never know when you will be seeking a new job and your personal comments and activities on the Internet will turn off a potential employer.

Aren't we all anonymous? I don't know any of you. You don't know me. Nom de plumes aren't any better than "Anonymous" or leaving the name space blank. It always kills me how people get all up in arms because someone makes a posting and leaves the name space blank. As if "Dilbert's Mom" or "Dad of 6" gives you any more information.

Posted by: No nom de plume | April 5, 2007 11:33 AM

Apparantly, it hasn't killed you yet.

I don't want to know you. I want to consider alternative viewpoints, along with whatever context and qualifiers help me to fairly assess the value of those viewpoints.

Comments "Dilbert's Mom" posts today are understood in the context of comments "Dilbert's Mom" posted last week. If Dilbert's Mom says something that only makes sense because of information or comments she's made in the past, I get more substance out of knowing that context than if she, he or it throws an unsubstantiated, context-less opinion onto the blog. Her, his, or its comment may have value, but since there's no point in following up with the spineless and snarky, I'll have no efficient way in which to assess that value.

In short, if you post with a moniker, readers may give your comment more attention. If you consider that your posts have value, you may want to consider whether they are reaching as large an audience as they do when you post them with no moniker. It's your call, of course.

catlady: I knew I wasn't crazy. You wrote a lot about Dr. Susan Burns (guest blogger -engineering professor). So I assumed you must be a prof of engineering because you seemed to know a lot about the tenure track position.
I know John L and dotted are engineers. I think there was a lot of engineering jokes going around some time ago.

If you don't regularly use the same name for your posts, or leave the name blank, then it is hard for anyone to keep the comments in the context of what has come before.

Plus, since there appear to be multiple posters not putting any name at all to their comments, confusion results when they post to the same thread.

smurf

"In short, if you post with a moniker, readers may give your comment more attention."

Or less.

Yes, engineers, attorneys and those in the financial industry appear to be well represented here. Of course, engineering covers a lot of territory.

BTW, are sensitivity to certain smells and extreme fatigue symptoms of very early pregnancy?

Why do I always seem to have spare time at the office on Thursdays when the Boring Brian Blog is on???

Ajax - save us and start a new topic.

I say yes to extreme fatigue as a symptom of early pregnancy. I was part of a carpool and someone got a new car. I thought it was the most comfortable car ever because I couldn't stay awake in the morning or the afternoon. When I had the same problem the next week with a different driver, I knew it had to be something more than the new car.

John L - Yes, but they're also symptoms of early stomach flu!

JohnL: I know that extreme fatigue is definitely a sign. Has your wife taken a home pregnancy test yet? They are effective up to two weeks from conception. It that reads confirmed, go to the doctor (internist or gp) and you can get a blood test. I know I had my pregnancy confirmed in less then 8 hours with blood work from my doctor. It sounds like you guys hit a home run with this one! Best of luck.

"BTW, are sensitivity to certain smells and extreme fatigue symptoms of very early pregnancy?"

YES!! My first pregnancy I knew I was pregnant when the smell of peanuts on a plane made me throw up -- on day 28 of my cycle, before a test would even show anything.

Ditto for the "hit by a bus" feeling -- early pregnancy you could count on me to fall asleep in my office chair every morning and afternoon, and in my chair at home by 9 PM.

So back to the guarded congrats (I hope I hope!!).

Well, that's what I figured, too. I love baking chocolate cookies for my friends, and the smell last weekend was filling the house. My wife shut the door to the library because she said it was making her sick and giving her a headache. She's been a lot more tired lately too; she's been sleeping more and waking her up in the morning requires dynamite and a prybar now.

We'll probably do the ept this weekend and see what it tells us, but so far everything sounds promising...

New topic... would love some advice... I'm on my one billionth cold since my "dd" was born just over a year ago. She's had a few colds and seems to fight them pretty well; she eats/sleeps well, acts normal, etc. Me, on the other hand... whenever she gets a sniffle, I get full blown boogers! Did this happen to anyone else the first year of parenting? I know I'm not sleeping as well as I used to, but I'm not sleep deprived. I eat well enough and am moderately active. Not fun. Anything help any of you with this in the early years?

I stay "anonymous" to keep the angry psychos from hunting me down and killing me for my awful sense of humor and pointed remarks. :-)

DH happens to have the same name as a couple of other people, one of whom runs a very weird blog, with strange pictures posted. So now DH is worried that potential employers will google him and think he is this other person (which would be a decidedly bad thing). Is there anything he can do? His name is not that common, so people might expect to find only him.

John L - knew i was pregnant with DS#2 when just about everything started smelling nasty. i had a terrible time with smell during both pregnancies, but it's definitely an individual thing.

suggest you get your wife something with a nice citrus odor that she can pull out at a moment's notice. badger balm tins work great because you can smear a little right under your nose and cover up the offending odor. best of luck!

"If you don't regularly use the same name for your posts, or leave the name blank, then it is hard for anyone to keep the comments in the context of what has come before."

Perhaps this is exactly why some people post anonymously - they don't want the context of what they've said before to come into play. There are people here with long memories, and they never pass the chance to slam something based on what they said 6 months ago.

"Plus, since there appear to be multiple posters not putting any name at all to their comments, confusion results when they post to the same thread."

And then there's what happened yesterday - I was bashed for being anonymous because someone confused something that a named poster said with something I said. It wasn't a case of mixing up anonymous posters, it was a case of making assumptions instead of looking back to see exactly who said what.

Kathrina,
When he writes a resume or applies he can write:
John Brown (and not the one at www.johnbrownpopszits.com)
:-)

BTW, are sensitivity to certain smells and extreme fatigue symptoms of very early pregnancy?

Posted by: John L | April 5, 2007 11:50 AM

Yes. But they aren't the only ones. A home pregnancy test could tell you more...

Is there a reason your wife won't just take a pg test?

John L et al, the pregnancy tests from the dollar store are cheaper (at, get this- $1!), and actually more accurate. This is especially helpful if you are trying and need lots of tests and kits.

John L, please let her sleep. Good luck!

To John L.: I'll be sure to put ice cream on this weekend's shopping list, in anticipation of good news to celebrate. Or to drown my sorrows, if there's disappointment.

catlady,
Don't forget the pickles!

"I'm on my one billionth cold since my "dd" was born just over a year ago. She's had a few colds and seems to fight them pretty well; she eats/sleeps well, acts normal, etc. Me, on the other hand... whenever she gets a sniffle, I get full blown boogers! Did this happen to anyone else the first year of parenting?"

Hahahahahaha!!!!! Let's just say my son is nicknamed "Typhoid Jakey." Last time he got a sniffle and a one-day fever; the entire rest of the family (including uncle and grandparents) was laid up for the next 2 weeks. Except, of course, his sister.

Feel free to try zinc, ecinachea, OJ, whatever your preferred prevention method is. But in my experience, the only thing that helps is time.

Oh my, yes! I could smell that the milk was going to go bad two days in advance and I couldn't stay awake past 8 p.m. for MONEY.

I thought that I would avoid the morning sickness...until week 8. I remember thinking, "This child has to be a boy, a girl wouldn't poison her mother this way!"

Ha-ha-ha. Nature has a sense of humour.

Clean joke:

What's the definition of a son-in-law?

The man who isn't good enough for your little girl, but the father of the world's BEST grandchildren!

Psst....JohnL....Mother Nature's revenge on fathers...is daughters. It is amazing to watch this happen, first-hand. (Boys are pretty special too, of course.)

bad mom: I never seemed to contract my child's illnesses. Best of luck.

No, no, I'M not pregnant. Now, Mrs. L. may need some with HER ice cream...

No, there's no reason why my wife wouldn't want to take an ept. We thought she may have been pregnant last year, and she waited until she was over a week late before testing then.

It's not like there's any hurry; if she is pregnant we'll know soon enough, and if she isn't, we'll know that too. I don't want to be hovering over her shoving ept packages in her hands, after all!

To john l:

Why yes, extreme fatigue is a huge symptom.
I would go to work, get home, eat my dinner and whatever I could get off my husband's plate, then tell dh that I was tired and going to bed. At 7:00. I was completely exhausted.

"Psst....JohnL....Mother Nature's revenge on fathers...is daughters. It is amazing to watch this happen, first-hand. (Boys are pretty special too, of course.)"

What's wierd is I am convinced that, when we do get pregnant, that we'll have a daughter. If we have a son I'll be thrilled as well, but for some reason I 100% believe we'll have a daughter. Maybe I'm just being stubborn; my family and my father's family was almost exclusively made up of sons, so it's not like there's a big history of girls being produced.

Everyone have a great weekend; mine just started!!

If you mean the list where some people talk to each other in even more detail about blog subjects, you can write me at

Fred_and_Frieda@hotmail.com

Thank you Fred!

JohnL: You and your wife are very patient. I would be dying to know. But I guess infertility teaches you the depths of waiting. How early can a home pregnancy test be accurate? I thought it was a week of being late. But I am not sure. I was two weeks late when I took mine.

"the only thing that helps is time."

Or not exposing your baby to the crud that every other child in town has.

"JohnL: You and your wife are very patient. "

Actually, they're not. If they were patient he wouldn't have said anything here and he wouldn't be asking questions like "are sensitivity to smells and fatigue symptoms of early pregnancy?" Perhaps he could quit monopolizing the blog with the discussion (read a pregnancy book or look it up at a website - it would take 30 seconds of your time) or just take the test already.

"the only thing that helps is time."

Or not exposing your baby to the crud that every other child in town has.

Posted by: | April 5, 2007 12:33 PM

Children build up immunity through exposure. So unless you plan to keep your children hermits all their lives, they will benefit from a reasonable (note use of word reasonable) amount of exposure to childhood illnesses.

foamgnome, some of the tests advertise that they can detect even as of the first day you miss your period. But it all depends on how much of the pregnancy hormone you make -- some people have very little, so would need to wait longer for the levels to increase enough to register. I made a lot, and invariably got a positive response no later than one day after my period was due (by which time I would have been having some minor symptoms for 3-4 days). I suspect that, if you are to the point of having some noticeable symptoms, you're likely far enough along to register on a home test.

"I would go to work, get home, eat my dinner and whatever I could get off my husband's plate, then tell dh that I was tired and going to bed."

Atlmom, that is exactly how I was, your description really made me smile.

On early pregnancy tests, I was convinced I was pregnant pretty much the day after we did in fact conceive, but I did not get a positive test until more than 2 weeks later. I kept trying the early ones and was so disappointed because I was just sure I was pregnant, my husband thought I was nuts. After two weeks I had one test leftover from a three pack and I thought, well, I'll just try it one more time since I've got it, and that was the one! So just remember you can definitely get false negatives with those ;)

the only thing that helps is time."

Or not exposing your baby to the crud that every other child in town has.

Baby in a bubble.

Whoops, reading Laura's post made me realize I wrote that wrong - I didn't get a positive until more than two weeks after I missed my period, not after conception. Derrr...more coffee please!

Okay, this may be weird, but I dated and hung onto the home pregnancy test I took that confirmed I was pregnant. It's in the kid's memento box, along with the baby album. Yes, I cleaned it up first!

Emily, John L, (have I overlooked anyone--sorry),

I don't know what you have planned, but I wrote a note to my child, the day I delivered, and have stuck those in the baby books too. They don't know this, nor do they know that every birthday since then, I have written them another letter. Maybe someday they will want to read them.

"BTW, are sensitivity to certain smells and extreme fatigue symptoms of very early pregnancy?"

I have both of those right now. I slept 10 hours last night (I'm used to six) and it's not enough. Smells make me gag, and I have a cast-iron stomach. I have about half the symptoms on the "early pregnancy checklists" I've looked up. But my symptoms could also be explained by flu, right? Especially since I'm on the Pill and had what seemed like a normal period last week.

Help!

Note: these are the same symptoms I experienced the first time around, and I was on the Pill then too, and using prophylactics.

:-(

anon for this post, I think your second post just answered your own question -- if you got pregnant once while using two forms of birth control. . . .

Seriously, yes, your symptoms could be either. If you're worried, try a home pregnancy test (yes, you can be pregnant and have a normal-seeming period).

I stay "anonymous" to keep the angry psychos from hunting me down and killing me for my awful sense of humor and pointed remarks. :-)

Posted by: Chris | April 5, 2007 12:08 PM

And your crappy rap!

"So unless you plan to keep your children hermits all their lives, they will benefit from a reasonable (note use of word reasonable) amount of exposure to childhood illnesses."

A BABY who has had a cold for the majority of her one-year-long life is not being reasonably exposed to childhood illnesses. And if immunity is built up from exposure, how does that explain the 4 year old who still has constant colds and other illnesses or the baby's 35 year old mother who has had 35 years to build up immunity but is still constantly sick?

Blog Alert!!

Could there be please be some kind of boredom early warning system/alert before each of the the pregnancy discussions ?

A BABY who has had a cold for the majority of her one-year-long life is not being reasonably exposed to childhood illnesses. And if immunity is built up from exposure, how does that explain the 4 year old who still has constant colds and other illnesses or the baby's 35 year old mother who has had 35 years to build up immunity but is still constantly sick?

Posted by: | April 5, 2007 12:49 PM

Well, either you can go see your doctor or you can whine endlessly on this blog.

One aspect of today's society continually amuses me.

Noone can ever be bored. Boredom is the enemy. Continual excitement/stimulation means you are alive and okay mentally and physically. Boredom is to be avoided at all costs.

To Anon at 12:50, just because a particular topic doesn't interest you, doesn't mean the topic is boring/shouldn't occur/whatever. In other words, get over it and enjoy life a bit, even the parts you deem boring at the time.

Blog Alert!!

Could there be please be some kind of boredom early warning system/alert before each of the the pregnancy discussions ?

Posted by: | April 5, 2007 12:50 PM
Just check the time stamp. Usually this blog goes down hill by noon. Definitely by 2 and it is just a free for all after 5.

False alarm. She was just late, probably from the stress of dealing with her mom's estate a week or so ago.

Man, this is going to be one downer of a weekend for me.

As for using a pen name on this blog, I should say that it doesn't mean you won't be recognized by those who know you and your life... my sister-in-law caught one of my postings a few weeks back and emailed to ask if that was me.

I used my real name when I wrote a guest blog in January, and it is the first thing that comes up on google -- for better or worse, I guess. Now the entry seems kind of whiney. But for a long time that first story up on google was one I wrote about breast implants several years ago...

I can remember falling asleep on a visit to a relative's house, all the female relatives in attendence apparently nodded knowingly to my DH while I slept. Lucky John L. and spouse!

On topic, I would never use my real name on a blog. It just seems too risky. I keep telling my kids about all the younger people trying to get jobs who are railroaded by unfortunate texts and pictures that they posted in their college/high school days or that someone else (a friend?) posted without their permission.

Ah, crap, really sorry, John L.

John L,
Bright yellow tulips (or some other colorful flower) are in order. Along with a bottle of wine that she can now indulge in. Sorry.

JohnL: I am so sorry for you. I will continue to hold up hope that the next one will be the good one. Relax and pamper yourselves this weekend. You deserve it.

Actually, they're not. If they were patient he wouldn't have said anything here and he wouldn't be asking questions like "are sensitivity to smells and fatigue symptoms of early pregnancy?" Perhaps he could quit monopolizing the blog with the discussion (read a pregnancy book or look it up at a website - it would take 30 seconds of your time) or just take the test already.

Posted by: | April 5, 2007 12:35 PM

Ri - ight. Because who'd want to read about a poster's potential happy announcement, real-life relationship and spouse, and re-live the happiness of confirming a first pregnancy when she could have an opportunity to read 50 more posts saying, using more words, I don't post my name on the internet because to do so is foolhardy?

Help us out here, anon at 12:35 and anon at 12:50 and identity your anonymous posts with a "BORING, WHINING POST AHEAD" alert. It would be ever so helpful.

I'm so sorry (((John L & wife))).

And I do remember-*very * early on, putting on some pants, and thinking-hmmm-these are getting snug. Wonder what is going on.

We'd been trying, and I didn't even think about it. Just thought I needed to lose some weight or something. I think about it and laugh now.

To John L.: Just hold her close, be kind to one another, and let yourselves grieve.

I'm sorry to hear that, John. I understand it's going to be about 40 degrees around here this weekend -- a good weekend to stay in, drink some wine, do the Sunday Times puzzle together and enjoy the company of your spouse. I'd add, pop Monty Python and Three Stooges DVDs in to lighten the mood, but that's my perverse reaction to most of what sucks in life, and your mileage may vary.

There seem to be one or two women around here for whom an Easter basket assembled by the sort of awesome guy who bakes cookies would be a special treat. Or perhaps just the peeps.

John L., condolences..... :( A gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure....perfect for a stressed out person.

Does anyone else look forward to those black jelly beans in the Easter jelly bean bag?

Pink Plate - I use all jelly beans as trade bait for chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate. The best starting point is the ears of any hollow chocolate bunny.

ahem. What would you trade me for all my black jelly beans? Yum.

Just to update my data for accuracy:

Emily used to be "Rockville"?
Neighbor used to be "MS L"?
Meagans Neighbor used to be "NC Lawyer"?
Nutty Mama used to be "formerly soon to be mommy"?

Meesh, are you the porn star?

Catlady, please don't change your name to prevent confusion between you and CatMommy. CatMommy has 139 submissions and you have 376. You are always nice, but CatMommy rides a high horse and always submits a post that is condescending to somebody. It is very easy to tell you and CatMommy apart.

Fred, if anything changes in the next few months, I will update the top 40 list and post it on a slow day.

WARNING, WARNING!!!!
BORING, WHINNG POST AHEAD!!!!!

Some people find some subjects to have endless triviality that drains their minds & souls.

Pink Plate,

Hi, how are you?

John L,

You might want to ask if she wants to watch anything special as per MN suggestion. For some reason, most women do not see the humor in Gilligan's Island.

Like in what is funny about seeing Gilligan hit in the head with a coconut?

Seeing him hit with two coconuts!

Although I think that MN would like GI

Some people find some subjects to have endless triviality that drains their minds & souls.

Posted by: | April 5, 2007 01:10 PM

Such person might find that if, instead of whining and labeling other posts as "boring", she posts an interesting comment, she might start an entirely new and interesting thread.

As a general proposition, taking action is more satisfying than *itching and moaning, particularly if one's soul is almost drained dry.

Megan's Neighbor....hmmm...that is a question, I would definately give up some chocolate (milk but not the dark) and certainly all of the malted eggs that periodically end up in my basket! Lucky for me, no one else in my household likes the black jelly beans!

"Meesh, are you the porn star?"

Dude or Dudette, do you really think anyone would admit to being porn star, puppet master or Chrissy?

To Blog Stats: Hey, I'm not always nice; in fact, I got flamed so badly at first for some strongly-held views that I nearly went away permanently (and we're not just talkin' protracted solitary confinement in that infamous sage-green cave here, either!). While there's much to be said in favor of expressing oneself civilly, I reserve the right to be as assertive as I deem any occasion to require ;-)

John L, too bad. Good luck in the future.

Has anyone tried the Starburst jelly beans? They are the bomb.
You can have all my malted milk balls - free - they suck. Give me your black jelly beans and I will consider sharing chocolate as long as it isn't Dove dark chocolate.

Blog Stats,

No, I wanted to see the top 61!

Brian did change my age to 54 in the opening article! Not necessary but I find it a bit amusing.