How Much Scheduling is Overscheduling?

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

About a month or so ago, I was given an especially good thrashing in the comments for suggesting that overscheduling might not be all bad. A number of astute readers pointed out that "overscheduling" was -- by definition -- a negative. And while I can't argue with the correction of my language, I'm still flummoxed by the question of how much is too much when it comes to extracurricular activities.

All of this is colored, in some ways, by my own upbringing. As an adult, I can skate, swim, ski, golf and read music, tremendously useful skills (golf excepted) that I began acquiring by the time I was six. I don't remember being dragged on daily marches from swimming to gymnastics to hockey to piano lessons, but -- somehow -- all of that happened for me, one way or another.

So, I have a bias toward exposing my kids to new things and giving them a chance to gain confidence and familiarity in a broad array of activities. I'm not trying to ensure that they'll have Harvard-caliber resumes by 16; I just want to give them the chance to try new things while they're still young and fearless.

But I also remember having oodles of free time -- riding my bike around my small town, swimming in the river, hiking in the woods, so I'm sympathetic to the just-let-em-play argument, too. I still have clipped this two-year-old piece on "slacker moms," which suggests that just saying no to everything is a courageous and noble way to go.

There has got to be a balance, but darned if I have it figured out. Switching among activities -- flute practice this season, soccer next, tumbling after that -- isn't really condusive to getting comfortable in any one area. Stacking obligation onto obligation is no good. We are now at the age when my eldest can make some of the decisions and weed out the activities that she's not into, but that only helps a bit (and asking a grade-schooler to self-regulate isn't a real solution anyway).

So how do you all deal? Are you content to be slacker parents or have you all just bought really big family calendars?

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

By Brian Reid |  May 10, 2007; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  Raising Great Kids
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