Daddy's Home

Listening to National Public Radio last week I heard seven precious words: Scott Simon is away on paternity leave.

Don't get me wrong: I like Scott Simon. But I was thrilled to hear he's taking NPR's paternity leave. Only a few years ago, the bravest expectant dads would slink into my office to whisper that they were considering taking time off when their babies arrived. Would they get fired? Not get a promotion ever again? Be ridiculed while they were out? (I'm happy to report none of their fears came true. What actually happened was that people barely noticed they were gone.) A male public figure like Scott Simon taking leave to be a dad first and foremost is a small, important step to expand child-care policies as a mainstream workplace concern, instead of being relegated to "oh that's a woman's issue" domain.

More good news for moms and dads: Yesterday's Washington Post ran a front page Father's Day story about stay-at-home dads. The headlines and subheads were as follows:

Stay-at-Home Dads Forge New Identities, Roles

More Fathers Than Ever Are Primary Caregivers

Dads do Child Care Without the Frills

The article chronicled the increasing prevalence of men's restrooms with changing tables, a stroller model named "the Bob", gender-neutral diaper bags, and support groups for stay-at-home dads. The photographs and individuals featured included Caucasian, African-American and Asian men. And instead of painting a rosy picture, the piece included some struggles, including exclusion, loneliness and very messy houses, that plague some dads who stay home.

"Those fathers are changing the way many children are growing up and the calculations families make as they try to balance busy and often conflicting lives," Katherine Shaver wrote in the article. "Like their female counterparts, most stay-at-home fathers say they plan to return to work, many when their youngest child reaches kindergarten. But many said they will look for limited hours and flexible schedules...They don't want to lose the intimacy, the way they have come to know their children's daily rhythms like no one else...Some call it their mother's intuition."

According to U.S. Census figures, there are 159,000 "official" stay-at-home dads in this country, or roughly 2.7 percent of all at-home parents. The numbers are actually far larger, because of underreporting and the fact that the Census figures do not include single fathers, those who work part-time or flexible hours, or dads with children older than 15. Nonetheless, the percent of at-home parents who are dads has tripled in the last decade.

Let's hear from stay-at-home dads (and wannabes) out there. Why did you stay home? What do you like most and hate most about being home? What are the tradeoffs? Working dads or pre-dads: If you could stay home, would you? And women, what appeals to you (or turns you off) about dads who stay home?

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  June 18, 2007; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  Dads
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