Prima!

deuxieme!

trei

quatre

Everything I needed to know I learned in kindergarten.

Perhaps what we are really seeking is the concept of 'moderation' as described long ago by Socrates. In each sphere of activity, there is a danger of excess and a danger of deficiency. It's the 'middle ground' that leads to virtue. [e.g., an excess of confidence leads on to be rash, while a deficiency leads to cowardice -- but the middle ground yields courage.]

There is value in one's career, one's family, one's spouse, one's self -- but an excess or deficiency in focus moves one away from the desired middle ground. It's not that we try to balance these items [any more than one tries to balance rashness and cowardice with the hope of obtaining courage], it's that we try to discover our middle ground on each.

I would LOVE some sanity, especially this week. Son #2 graduates tomorrow, and I have spent every spare moment this week shopping, cleaning and preparing for the small family party planned for tonight. Of course, grades closed and the summer class started this week too, but right now he comes first.

He goes to college August 11th, so I only have 10 more weeks with him. I keep wondering if he really learned all the life lessons I taught him -- will he eat well (OK, he learned that one), is he really so sexist that he will find a girl to do his laundry (or is he just pulling my chain), will he be smart enough not to get drunk and do something stupid, or to be around when someone else is? Is he going to have too much fun, end up with a 1.9 GPA and lose his scholarship, like his brother did? Am I going to get a phone call from some girl's father? Did I actually do a good job over the past 18 years? Am I worrying over nothing?!?

Sending a child off to college is like taking a final exam for an especially hard class; you may have been working diligently all along, but you cram for the exam anyway and you do go a little nuts.

OT:
Maryland Mom, I read your recipe for banana split cake...and it is missing chocolate! Do you not put chocolate syrup on it? Everything's better with chocolate, right?

Educomom - thanks for reminding me to relish the relative ease of my 4 and 6 year olds. It must be terrifying! Good luck.

Now that I moved away from the city I really don't think about balance much. My life is pretty quite and balanced.

What else would make me happy: world peace and securing my third oldest nephews's dorm room for the fall.

educmom good luck with your party.

educmom |

I sent my last kid off to college and was adjusting to being a single empty nester, then boom - 3 weeks later - 9/11!!!

i love the little bit of the Juska essay. Although I think non-parents will also feel like that sometimes too!

I don't think the "balance" idea has outlived its usefulness-- but I don't see it's construct as a "See-saw" with one side representing work and the other side children. It is not a binary thing-- it's all encompassing of several pressures that the individual takes on his or herself-- family, community, work, hobbies, etc.-- so more like balancing while standing atop on a ball.

I think I WOULD be terrified if I had time to think!

What I want more of is TIME. Time to spend with my husband, my kids, myself. Unstructured. Unscheduled. And as the great JT says "Time may be money but your money won't buy time." I have learned this since returning to work.

Gotta get back to it!

Was your child attending college in NYC?

To Ninotchka

"Was your child attending college in NYC?"

No, but most of her dorm mates were from NYC and some lost family members. It was pretty heavy for 17 & 18 year olds to handle. It's amazing how some of the young can bounce back from tragedy. Good life lesson.

I'm so sorry to hear of your daughter's friends' terrible losses. People don't bounce back totally, but sometimes enough to return to keeping going.

I just wonder if it gets any easier when they're both out of the house. Will I worry because I don't know, or will what I don't know not hurt me? When #1 left, at least I had #2 around to distract me.

On the plus side, my grocery bill will be next to nothing, and my washer should last another 20 years.

Thanks for the good luck wishes -- I think the party will turn out fine (I tend to stress a bit when I get ready for company).

I just want a little more time to blog!

"Was your child attending college in NYC?"

Posted by: To Ninotchka | June 1, 2007 08:21 AM

Our child was attending college in NYC at the time of the Arab terrorist massacre at the World Trade Center. In fact, his college was not only in New York City, but in New York County, too -- Manhattan. He looked down the avenue and he could see the smoke from the burning buildings.

As far as we can tell, there were no ill effects: no inhaled debris dust as far north as he was living, no psychological "trauma" or post-traumatic stress. In fact, our son's grades were better in the years after the Arab terrorist massacre than they were in the years before it.

Ninotchka,

I feel for your daughter and her friends. It's so hard to watch people you know and care about suffer through a tragedy. Did the campus counselors help at all?

On a lighter note, what was the best part of having a really empty nest?

You couldn't just write 9/11 instead of injecting inflammatory language, could you? The events of 9/11 were bad enough without you rubbing salt in everyone's wounds.

For me, it is about both balance and sanity. I am passionately drawn to a number of things -- my world would have a huge hole in it without my children in it, but it would also be incomplete without my job. But then again, as I mentioned yesterday, I also need down time to disconnect and curl up into a mental fetal position.

"Balance" is big-picture -- I need to be doing several different things to feel like a whole human being. "Sanity" is little-picture -- I need downtime every day to keep my head from exploding. So how do you find time to do the things you need to stay in balance, without ruining your sanity? Well, it's like Brian's blog yesterday: you set priorities so that you focus your time on the things that matter the most long-term, and give yourself permission to say no to everything else.

In my own experience, the kind of thing that makes you feel like you're losing your sanity isn't the really satisfying stuff -- I've never once heard my husband complain that he's spending too much time in the woodshop and it's driving him nuts. It's the logistics of getting the kids to that 4th practice of the week, or the need to run the bake sale at the school, or whatever other stuff you're doing because you "should."

So I just deal with that stuff by avoiding as much of the "shoulds" as possible. I see this as part of the whole "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality (which is NOT just about material things!). When the whole rest of the neighborhood has these fabulous Christmas decorations up and we don't even have a tree yet, I start to feel like I "should" be better at prettifying stuff. When everyone else is sending their kids to multiple camps or lessons, I start to wonder if I "should" be as well, if I'm doing my kids a disservice by not signing them up for more.

But I can't live up to other people's expecations, and I can't expect to be "perfect" in anything, much less everything. So I've just had to learn to tell that little voice to shut up. We do as much of that "optional" stuff as we can comfortably fit in with our family life and career goals. So sure, we'll go get a tree and decorate it, because we can do that as a fun family activity. I'll bake cookies with my daughter, because I enjoy baking, and we can do it together. But I'm just not going to spend hours standing on a ladder hanging Christmas lights, because I'd rather spend that time on other things that are more important to me. So instead, I just admire the skill and effort of the other people in the neighborhood who are really good at that sort of things.

to to matt:

I think he was just trying to stress what many people have forgotten. And that we don't want people flying planes into buildings ever again.

No, Matt's always got an agenda.

As for balance, I think I am much less stressed about things after going back to work. Believe it or not. I have let go of having the best meals on the table for dinner (we still don't eat much processed food, tho - it's in the freezer for just in case).

No one's life is ever balanced. Usually things come in waves. I lost my mom, my job, my apartment, the guy I was dating didn't want to date me anymore, in a short time. Got the best job ever, several months later, found my now DH then got married, etc.
So whenever things are horrible, it seems they will eventually get better...And, they will eventually get worse.

educmom

"On a lighter note, what was the best part of having a really empty nest?"

Don't know if these are the "best parts", but some good parts are:

Money - for the first time in 36 years of working, all of my salary is mine to do with as I please (kid's college, etc. is fully funded) utility bills drop, grocery bills drop

My financial contributions to charities & causes have increased greatly

Time - again, all of my free time is mine to do with as I please

My volunteer work for charities & cause has increased greatly

I'm poised for a new beginning to my life.

"rubbing salt in everyone's wounds."

No salt here, the truth is the truth.

Let's see... Tonight I am finally having a real date with the husband in almost 11 years. First, it was school and no money, then it was kids, a lot of traveling and trying to built a career. Now the kids are a bit older - almost 5 and almost 8. We realized a couple weeks ago after spending a couple of hours togheter running errands without the kids that we actually really like each others company. We've probably gone on date a total of 10 times during the past 11 years. I don't see how we survived this. Tonight however, we and another couple are planning a "fanncy" night out. We are not planning on coming back to pick up the kids until after midnight - we have finally found a great baby sitter, or is it we are just more comfortable living them for this long now, or is it after focusing on career building, child rearing during the past 10 years we suddenly realized there's an us, hey look! we like each other, wooooooo.

I meant to say: i've let go of a lot of things, one of them being meals on the table.

I am much more organized - we make trips to target once every few weeks, rather than almost daily. And the supermarket, not as often either. Especially with the veggies and fruits direct from the farmer.

But I've let go of the kids doing the 'perfect' stuff. Before, we probably couldn't afford what I wanted them to do, and now we're slightly less flexible on camps and such, but that's okay - he doesn't have to do them all, etc.

"On a lighter note, what was the best part of having a really empty nest?"

1. You can actually find food in the refrig.

2. A lot less laundry to do.

3. House does not get near as dirty,

4. Items are where you put them.

5. The house is QUIET!

6. You can watch what you want on TV or not watch.

7. You can mostly take satisfaction in the transition of your child from a child into adulthood.

8. No mystery dents on the cars.

A lot of other good stuff. Look at it this way, for 18 years we groom our children to be adults, now is the time to enjoy the fruits of our labors.

Geeze, Matt - maybe your son wasn't traumatized by the attacks, but you seem to be. I like to think of people like you as the ignorant american...yeah, that's it - whenever I use the word ignorant, I'll modify it with the word american - that will really hit home, huh?

"I think he was just trying to stress what many people have forgotten."

Sometimes we forget the real meaning and power behind words and phrases [like 9/11, genocide, and holocaust] -- at times it's useful to speak plainly when we refer to them. Kudos to Matt.

"to to matt:

"I think he was just trying to stress what many people have forgotten. And that we don't want people flying planes into buildings ever again."

Posted by: atlmom | June 1, 2007 08:59 AM

What part of "Arab terrorist massacre" does the anonymous "to matt" take issue with? Fifteen out of the nineteen men who flew the planes were from Saudi Arabia. They were Arabs. They attacked a country -- the USA -- with which Saudi Arabia has always been at peace. They purposely killed civilian people in peacetime with the aim of terrorizing other people -- the American government -- into changing its policies. That makes them terrorists. They killed nearly three thousand people in Manhattan. That makes it a massacre.

As for "inflammatory language" -- atlmom has my intentions dead right. I think the American people are right to be inflamed against the Arab terrorists who burned 3,000 Americans to death. If my language makes Arab terrorists feel bad, then maybe they'll learn not to fly planes into buildings ever again, as atlmom writes. That's my agenda.

A Dad, Your post was spot on. Moderation in all things is the key to a happy life.

Matt's agenda is that those Arabs needed to be converted to Christianity, because devout Christians would never attack anyone, or at least not anyone in the US, except maybe abortion clinics, right?

Wow, that's pretty obnoxious, 9:17. You attack, and you don't even sign a name.
How nice of you.
So what if he was affected? It doesn't seem enough people were affected by what happened. We all go on our merry way, unwilling to think that more attacks like this are being planned daily.

They want to kill us and no one wants to believe it.

Newsflash: I doubt that Arab terrorists read this blog. So you're just wasting your breath here.

"I think he was just trying to stress what many people have forgotten. And that we don't want people flying planes into buildings ever again."

Sure, but I thought Matt's post was obnoxious. Why include the word "Arab"? Nobody has forgotten what the terrorists did on 9/11 and who they were, but to mention specifically that they were Arab is only to incite people. The vast majority of individuals in Arab nations are peaceful and disgusted by what happened on 9/11.

I highly doubt Matt would have charecterized Timothy McVeigh as a "caucasian" or "North American" terrorist.

I don't believe he said anything about converting anyone. I've never felt he was like that. And I'm certainly not a christian (something that most people around here are well aware of, possibly).

It would be nice if other muslims would say that what the terrorists are doing is wrong, but at least 25% of them think suicide bombers are OKAY. Just released poll, last week. I am not surprised, but am flabbergasted at that.

I thought I'd share this:

http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/caregiving.html#pregnancy

Seems to be very pertinent to today (and really every day's) topic. (I had jumped to the Pregnancy Discrimination bookmark, but the whole notice is there).

Matt don't worry about it. I don't think anything you said was bad. You just stated what happened. I saw nothing about converting them to Christianity. Where did that come from

It would be nice if other muslims would say that what the terrorists are doing is wrong

What about the Moslem Arab Americans serving in our military in Iraq, Afghanistan and other nations in the Middle East?

So, after you become a parent you stop being an adult? Who are the parents here? It amazes me that infants, toddlers, kids and teenagers are running the show. In reality, the parent should be in charge until the kid turns 18. Until that time the parent is legally and financially responsible for the kid. After that, kick them out of the house and let them be on their own. If you did a good job, you don't have to worry. If you screwed up, it's on your head.

The vast majority of individuals in Arab nations are peaceful and disgusted by what happened on 9/11.

Really, I swore I saw a bunch of them jumping up and down and smiling on tv on 9/11.

I completely agree that balance is not an accurate term for what I'm seeking. Personally, I think its something intangible, where nobody is drawing a thick, black line between my work and my personal life. Somedays it is natural that either work or family will take precedent. I would just like to have the pressure valve loosened on feeling that they are "competing" priorities, and more that they are complementary parts of my life.

Okay, let us move on

Before you spread hate, see the debunking of a whole bunch of rumors like yours at http://www.snopes.com/rumors/dunkin.asp

Really, as long as I'm supporting them, I'm in charge. If I'm paying for college, or housing them til they get on their feet, even if it's after they're 18, then they're mine.
I make the rules, since I pay the bills. If I'm happy, maybe I wouldn't charge them so much in rent - if I'm unhappy, the rent goes up. Yeah, it sucks, but that's the real world.
So what if they'd 'hate' me for being 'mean.' No one else is going to love them as much or look out for them as much as me.

to 9:33 - ummm...yeah, but that doesn't mean the majority of Arabs are terrorists or support terrorism. I somehow doubt that the "bunch of them" that you saw on tv are the norm. Though I'm sure there are many of you out there who seem to think the entire Arab population is against the US. But that is just sad and ignorant.

And thus Leslie has assured the longevity of this blog. By beating the dead horse of "balance" until it became so much dust, and finally declaring it dead and useless, and substituting "sanity" as the worthwhile endeavor in its place, she has introduced the next product we need in our lives, and we will spend subsequent blogs discussing "sanity" (rehashing and associating "sanity" with breastfeeding, daycare, daycare, and daycare) until it too, much like balance, becomes overrated, outdated, and we all become a bunch of babbling psychotics riding on jumping sharks, spurred on by nazis, of course...

The long range conspiracy at work here is of course to undermine our views by labeling anyone who disagrees with the media as insane, and not just out of balance. Once society embraces this new model of sanity, a new class of outcasts will be created and subsequently rounded up and persecuted for not being conformist sheep. ;-P
New slogan:
If you don't agree, you're crazy!

LOL

How can something be a rumor when you saw it with your own eyes? How can it be hateful when it is the truth?

I know because liberals like you say so.

Balance for me would mean that I don't feel like I am letting everyone down constantly. I work part-time, but there is constant, neverending pressure by my boss to work more hours. My work assignments and deadlines are the same as the fulltimers. If I had balance, I wouldn't have my boss showing up in my office to have an "important meeting" just as it is time for me to rush off to get my son to his physical therapy appointment. I wouldn't have to put my kids in the crappy town-run afterschool program - the only one our school will transport to - because I would be able to get out of work in time to meet the bus. My kids would be able to play on the afterschool sports teams or do science club. If I had balance, I would be dealing with a school system that respected working parents and didn't have half-days every time we turn around, or only schedule conferences in the middle of the day. If I had balance, I would have time to mow the lawn and prune my rose bushes, tasks I love, instead of paying people to do it for me. Right now, I feel like my whole life consists of disappointing people, including myself.

Has anyone here gotten that email forward making the rounds claiming that Islam is incompatible with being a good American? It's supposedly written by a professor somewhere. What a load of bigoted garbage.

You are a moron. That is not what I was talking about. I also didn't say all Arabs; I said the ones I saw on TV. To think that people in other countries love us is really naïve especially after we stick our noses in everything.

Fifteen out of the nineteen men who flew the planes were from Saudi Arabia.

So the US attacked Iraq.

Well, Chris, I am always up for a discussion of breastfeeding!

Last night, Frieda and I were researching adiposity in infants, in particular the difference in adiposity between breast and bottle fed infants from 0-3 months of age.

If Leslie really thinks it's a matter of sanity, then she's prejudiced against people suffering with genuine mental illnesses.

if my baby is born on Sept 11, will that do terrible harm? I REALLY don't want that to happen, but I suppose one way of looking at it is that if I make a big deal out of it it's just letting the terrorists win. My due date is Sept 12-- maybe I should just really try to keep my legs crossed on the 11th? (Trying to bring some levity here . . .)

Show of hands, everyone who really believes Dan Bartlett is leaving the Bush White House to spend more time with his family.

ratgirlny, don't beat yourself up. See Laura's fabulous post from yesterday morning. We're all doing the best we can. The people who look like they're doing it all are furiously treading water under the surface. . .

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming . . .

if my baby is born on Sept 11, will that do terrible harm?

If you invite Matt to your child's birthday parties, it sure could.

I think a lot depends on how easy it is for you to shift focus.

If you can go from one thing to another easily, remembering all the little details along the way and preforming at a level you're comfortable with then you can have balance.

If you can't, then you've got to work harder.

I'm not sure if it's psychologically healthy to be able to drop one thing completely and move onto another all the span of 24 hours. You get all chopped up inside.

So a lot of this "balance" is living with all these loose ends.

if my baby is born on Sept 11, will that do terrible harm?

I wouldn't worry about it. Lots of people have birthdays on Sept 11.

I did see a video of Osama bin Laden chuckling and laughing over the huge kill when the WTC collapsed. The terrorists didn't plan on the buildings collapsing from the fires. They really got more than they planned. They were very happy about that.

Chris, you are brilliant!

I did see a video of Osama bin Laden chuckling and laughing over the huge kill when the WTC collapsed.

Regardless of whether Osama chuckled, he was pleased. So why hasn't Bush gotten him after nearly 6 years?

what WorkingMomX said.

You can only do so much before you can't do any more. Think of all the things you *are* doing. How much your kids love you and don't care about the stuff you're *not* doing.
How luck and will have gotten you to where you are - how you provide food and shelter and love for everyone and are doing your best.

How you should enjoy this time rather than wondering what *else* you could be doing.

How great a job you *are* doing, not how much more you *could* or *should* be doing. How you really couldn't do more, and you shouldn't beat yourself up for that.

Fred- Is your wife a researcher or an LC? I'm curious about the adiposity. I'm having some problems with my milk supply, so I've had to supplement with formula, which I HATE. I've been looking at the ingredients in all the formulas, trying to pick the best one, but I can't help but think of all of them as chemically modified milk for cows. I'd be curious if she has a preferred formula.

"Time may be money but your money won't buy time."

I have to disagree with this on some level. Money allows us to take time off. We could live on my salary alone, but then we couldn't afford vacations or dinners out or movies. Money allows us to take breaks from the endless chores and responsibilities.

That's how we acheive balance. We take time off to visit family and friends. Without money, we couldn't afford to see them.

BTW, I much prefer the term "balance" over "sanity." We are sane people. No matter how hectic our lives got, we would still be able to think rationally and logically. We are lucky to have escaped the history of metal illness in our families.

Wife is an LC. I have never asked her about a preferred formula. I don't think that I will.

I maybe should have written that we were looking for a research paper on adiposity since one of her co workers had a question on it (Frieda wanted a scholarly article on it) and she, being a Luddite, does not know how to use the internet. We did find a study comparing adiposity in breastfed vs. formula feed infant. Yet another bit of knowledge that will do me no good other than to answer general question on a blog!

"Time may be money but your money won't buy time."

Money buys the time for people to be SAMPs.

ATB,

I will also ask the obvious question, have you talked to your pediatrician and or a LC about your supply problem? This is yet another question (like bleeding nipples) that a Dr. or LC can help you with.

I know a person born on April 1, one born on Halloween, and two born on Christmas Day. They all seem to be perfectly normal, except one Christmas woman flaunts her money, diamonds and Vegas winnings. She's certainly not Christ-like ;-) Now unless you're totally obsessive/compulsive about horoscopes, I don't think a child's birthdate makes a bit of difference.

So the bloG would be renamed "ON SANITY"? ;)

"Matt don't worry about it. I don't think anything you said was bad. You just stated what happened. I saw nothing about converting them to Christianity. Where did that come from"

Posted by: scarry | June 1, 2007 09:31 AM

It came from a column by Ann Coulter (Cornell '84):

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity."
[Town Hall, September 14, 2001]

It sure didn't come from me. Miss Coulter wants to convert them to Christianity? So they can do what the Orthodox Christian Serbs did at Srebernica, namely, massacre eight thousand Bosnian Muslims? That's unworthy of a Cornell graduate.

As a believer in First Amendment freedom of religion, I don't wanna convert anyone to anything. Miss Coulter is wrong to want to force Muslim nations to live according to Christianity, just as many a neocon do-gooder is wrong to want to force Muslim nations to live according to Secular Feminism.

Believe what you want. Just don't kill civilians in peacetime in order to scare their government into changing its policies. That's terrorism.

"I highly doubt Matt would have charecterized Timothy McVeigh as a "caucasian" or "North American" terrorist."

Isn't Timothy McVeigh generally characterized as a "home-grown" terrorist?

Matt has his opinion and he is entitled to it. He is stating how he sees the situation. I don't see where he is inciting anything.

"BTW, I much prefer the term "balance" over "sanity." We are sane people."

MEESH, we all think so but how do we really know? That is my big problem with growing old, if you become insane or out of it with alzheimer's do you really know you are slipping?

pATRICK,

I hope that you saw the great honor bestowed upon you yesterday by Frieda. Look at the closing entires to yesterday's blog. We await your acceptance speech!

"It came from a column by Ann Coulter (Cornell '84):

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.""

Anything ANN says should be taken with a grain of salt. Pure soundbite shockvalue. Yawn

Fred, I've asked 2 LCs about my supply (use a hospital grade pump and fenugreek, sleep well and relax). I'm still making my rounds of the peds in the office, so I'm still deciding which one I should ask about formula. The last I saw was not particularly attached to breastfeeding, and suggested nestle good start. At the time, I wasn't using formula, so I didn't come prepared to talk about it. Doh. I'm going to call the LC today for other reason, so I'll ask her. I was just trying to get as many opinions as possible.

pATRICK,

I know (by painful family experience) that some people who are afflicted by Alzheimer's are aware of what is happening somedays.

I do not write this with any humor intended.

altmom

"Really, as long as I'm supporting them, I'm in charge. If I'm paying for college, or housing them til they get on their feet, even if it's after they're 18, then they're mine."

Weird attitude - I feel the same way about my cats (as much as any one can be in charge of cats).

My kids - very few strings are attached with my financial assistance. Maybe because I don't need to be "In Charge" 24/7.

Good luck with calling all the shots for your kids "then they're mine." Don't expect to see them much when you're in the Old Folks Home!

pATRICK,

I hope that you saw the great honor bestowed upon you yesterday by Frieda. Look at the closing entires to yesterday's blog. We await your acceptance speech!

I wonder how many "save the hymen" shirts I could sell outside one of those "purity balls". ( Which I think sounds a little weird too if you catch my drift)

atb,

Frieda has seen cases where milk production is not adequate and the mother does need to supplement. Please don't feel alone about this! It happens.

"Time may be money but your money won't buy time."

I have to disagree with this on some level. Money allows us to take time off. We could live on my salary alone, but then we couldn't afford vacations or dinners out or movies. Money allows us to take breaks from the endless chores and responsibilities.

That's how we acheive balance. We take time off to visit family and friends. Without money, we couldn't afford to see them.

BTW, I much prefer the term "balance" over "sanity." We are sane people. No matter how hectic our lives got, we would still be able to think rationally and logically. We are lucky to have escaped the history of metal illness in our families.

Posted by: Meesh | June 1, 2007 10:23 AM

Meesh, I don't think you can understand that money can't buy time until/unless you are not working like SAHMs don't work. Then you'll get it.

pATRICK,

It depends if the tee shirts are pink or some other color!

"I know a person born on April 1, one born on Halloween, and two born on Christmas Day. They all seem to be perfectly normal, except one Christmas woman flaunts her money, diamonds and Vegas winnings. She's certainly not Christ-like ;-) Now unless you're totally obsessive/compulsive about horoscopes, I don't think a child's birthdate makes a bit of difference"

I would agree that being born on a significant date won't make a difference to a child. But,if you are alive and something significant happens on your birthday, your future birthdays will forever be entwined with those memories. I know someone with a 9/11 birthday who no longer has a birthday that is "just a birthday". She remembers everything about 9/11/2001 every anniversary.

Bravo, Leslie!

You hit the nail on the head when you suggested that this blog is totally unbalanced. I have just about given up wading through the nonsense to find the jewels of wisdom some posters share.

Today's piece is the best I've read in a while. Just because the term "balance" has been overused doesn't mean its outlived it's usefulness. As I'm teeter-tottering along, in those moments of balance I find glimpses sanity. What I want is more moments, more glimpses. I'm going to keep pursuing balance, believing it is possible. Keep writing and providing encouragement.

Maybe the issue is not whether we have managed to achieve balance in our lives, but whether we are pursuing "the good life" (however we choose to define it). Speaking of which, Peter Gomes's book, The Good Life, might be interesting reading for some folks who puruse this blog.

educmom:
"I keep wondering if he really learned all the life lessons I taught him -- will he eat well (OK, he learned that one), is he really so sexist that he will find a girl to do his laundry (or is he just pulling my chain), will he be smart enough not to get drunk and do something stupid, or to be around when someone else is? Is he going to have too much fun, end up with a 1.9 GPA and lose his scholarship, like his brother did? Am I going to get a phone call from some girl's father? Did I actually do a good job over the past 18 years? Am I worrying over nothing?!?"

Have you told him your worries? If you are in the car with him sometime, even on the way to school, this would be a good time to at least let him know your concerns. Preface it by saying he doesn't have to respond or reassure you. He can't do anything about your worries, but he can at least know how parents really feel and react rather than you having to be mom all the time. The time for your lessons is almost done, unless he asks for advice.

I was the last to go, like your son. I know I would have appreciated that from my mom. All I got was crying when she dropped me off at school, which just turned me off. Because of that, all I wanted her to do was leave. Tell him you will still worry, but tell him not to.

Meesh does have a point - if you have the money you can hire a housekeeper, buy in the close in neighborhood to ease your commute, find better day care, (you stress less about the work emergency if you are comfortable where your child is), etc.

Also, for the married couples it can allow one spouse to cut back.

And if the money is a windfall, a lottery or inheritence, it can buy you the ability to quit work,

What it can't buy you is more than 24 hours a day - so if the craziness comes from having the kids in to many activities, (or lots of kids in different activies) and your inability to say no when someone asks you to help with the bakesale, and the school play, and the church beautification committee, etc. then no money can't help.

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity."

Yawn. It's been done before. Remember the Inquisition? And the treatment of Amerindians upon settlement of the "New World"?

OT to catlady: any idea why, upon moving, my two cats would completely switch personalities? I moved yesterday, and the small, sweet, meek one is now hissing at the former b*tch-cat, who is burrowing under a blanket and appears frightened. Little cat has even taken to "guarding" the food bowls and my bed (previously b*tch-cat domain), and b*tch-cat is afraid to approach.

Pigs must have flown somewhere.

Matt's initial post was neutral and his rejoinders have been rational since the troll-mortar attack.

trolls, stop high-jacking the board to flog your personal beliefs.

atb,

A bit more on inadequate milk production. Good that you are using a hospital grade pump, there are pumps which are more effective than others. The frequency of pump use will make a difference in supply and there are some other techniques to stimulate supply. There is a specific prescription drug which is used to start and stimulate supply, obviously, you would need your dr. to give you this. So ask the pediatrician if it is suitable to your case. Good Luck!

Hey, That's my line.

Fifteen out of the nineteen men who flew the planes were from Saudi Arabia.

So the US attacked Iraq.

. . . and even more on inadequate milk production. atb, you could try "Mother's Milk" tea, which has fenugreek in it and is widely believed to stimulate milk production. I drank at least 3 cups a day when I was trying to build up my supply with my first. Because of my c-section and lack of relevant knowledge about breastfeeding, I didn't realize how to do it and my son was almost exclusively on formula but I forced myself to keep at it, and he was on 100% breastmilk by 8 weeks.

My brother commited suicide on my birthday. Do you think that I really feel like celebrating it anymore?

Can we get off the viciousness with the 9/11 thing already! Whenever we start talking politics all the naive egocentric-types start coming out of the woodwork with their axes to grind. We don't all share the same DNA, we don't have the same life experiences, and we therefore react differently to things. That's life. If you want your opinion to be seriously considered then try building a little trust with your fellow bloggers, rather than attacking their perspective with your verbal hatchetsaw.
I thought Leslies blog today was nice. Personally, I can't even imagine having any sense of balance with three kids to care for. Maybe balance is an issue with kid #1, survival the challenge with kid#2, and sanity at issue with kid #3. I'd like to hear how that plays out for those with more than one child.

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity."

Yawn. It's been done before. Remember the Inquisition? And the treatment of Amerindians upon settlement of the "New World"?

MONA your take on history never ceases to make me laugh. Indians were never converted to christianity despite some well meaning efforts. You ought to watch "Bury my heart at wounded knee" Very interesting. The idea that indians were just peaceful victims is near and dear to many liberals but the truth is much murkier than that. The truth is that islam has been hijacked by vicious killers and no amount of PC whitewash will change that. The sad part is that the vast majority of peaceful muslims are being irreparably harmed by the actions of their "brothers".

Matt I think Ann is crazy and you said nothing that should have people calling you ignorant. I saw her talk about global warming one time and she sounded like a complete idiot. I can't believe she makes all the money she does.

Rumicat
"Maybe balance is an issue with kid #1, survival the challenge with kid#2, and sanity at issue with kid #3. I'd like to hear how that plays out for those with more than one child."

And just plain zombie (ism) with #4!
It is just a good thing for Frieda and me that #4 is sweet natured even though he is 15.

Atb:

What I did was to pump or feed the kid every three to four hours. If the kid was hungry in between, then I would give him formula or pumped milk.
Only let the kid go for 10-15 mins each side.

This lets you get your supply up and so you can recover in between.

Good luck

pATRICK, I have no idea if older people losing their sanity are aware of it. In my family, the people who needed medical help were aware that they will "mess up" if they don't take their medication.

Anon at 10:46, if you say so. I was unemployed for 6 months, so I know exactly what it's like to not have money to travel. I also know what it's like to feel the need to keep the house spotless, gourmet dinners on the table, and everything in its place because that was my job. It was stressful and I never got a break. Comparing the two situations, I have more time now because I can afford to take a break and, more importantly, let myself take a break.

My grandfather's birthday was December 7 but they were too poor to celebrate with anything more than a homemade birthday cake anyway. No hired clowns, no rented moon bounce, no trips to Disneyworld. The conspicuous consumption of this blog turns my stomach.

rumicat - I hace 3 kids. I don't find the number of kids to be the issue. I would feel just as unbalanced with 1 child. My problems stem from the conflict between an inflexible workplace on the one hand, and a school system that thinks every family has a stay-at-home parent on the other.

"pATRICK, I have no idea if older people losing their sanity are aware of it. In my family, the people who needed medical help were aware that they will "mess up" if they don't take their medication."

MEESH,I spent this weekend with my parents and my dad (79)seems more and more like a picture slowly fading away. He talks very low and grasps for words and tails away his sentences. This from a man who his whole life had a very commanding voice and presence. It is very sad and alarming.

Before I forget. offtopic to catlady. I think it was you who was watching the black donnellys. If so, you can watch the rest of the season online. If not, then sorry because I can't remember who was watching it. :)

Fred, I used to think (before my daughter) that people with four kids were crazy. Now I see them for the heros they truly are, I'm particularly impressed by the ones who do a good job raising their kids. You guys must feel like you're coming to the end of a long marathon. I think all the zombie years will pay off though, with the big holiday celebrations to look forward to and all the future grandkids to admire.

pATRICK, I'm so sorry. I absolutely dread experiencing that with my parents.

It's easy to say "aging is a natural part of life," but that doesn't make it any easier to watch.

On a lighter note, my husband comes home from a business trip today. I will be looking forward to some more balance now that he's back to help with chores. There are a few things that take two people that had to wait until he got back. We can finally wash the stinking dogs!

pATRICK, hang in there, and I would suggest looking for a support group. My aunt, who is in her late 60s, has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. No surprise to the rest of the family, but still extremely sad. We are all coping the best way we can.

To the general blog population, another book recommendation: "Aging With Grace" by David Snowdon, a pupil of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. It discusses the findings of the nun study and why in the nun population there are many more centarians and many less who suffer from Alzheimer's. I found it to be fascinating.

rumicat - my parents have six, even though I'm one of them, I still think they are crazy. Though, all of us are self-supporting, no issues, still talk to each other (although it is sometimes with raised voices) and the fist granchild is due on Sept. 1st. I guess they did a pretty good job, they're crazy, but did a good job.

"if my baby is born on Sept 11, will that do terrible harm?"

Ok, to quote Dave Barry, I am not making this up. My youngest brother's birthday is on Pearl Harbor Day. I always felt sorry for him, because it was such a somber day -- the only foreign attack on American soil since, well, before it was America.

That all changed in 2001: my other brother's birthday is September 11.

Makes me a little edgy when my own birthday rolls around every year. . . .

A long marathon is a good comparison to raising children. Some make it to the finish line, others drop out.

As I said in my guest blog, you never stop being a parent but your role does shift. Frieda and I are taking satisfaction in seeing the early adult years of our children. (Of course, it helps that none of them live at home anymore!)

I suppose we will have grandchildren one day but this is not in the near future. This is not an issue that we have ever raised with our adult children. I remember that my parents never once asked, "
Where is my grandchild?"

We do look at the 15 yr old and say, we have to go through the teenager years again!!! Such is life.

Laura, Laura, Laura

"the only foreign attack on American soil since, well, before it was America."

What about the War of 1812?

Please note: "Arab" and "Muslim" are NOT interchangable terms. For example, there are significant numbers of Christian Arabs and South-Asian Muslims

ratgirlny, I'm with you on the school system thing. But whenever anyone suggests that summer break schedule or school hours change to accomodate the lives of people today (most of whom with shool age kids are working) the traditionalists throw a fit. We don't use children for farm labor anymore, and the days when kids could roam all over the neighborhood exploring their world in the summer and after school are over. Most kids watch 20-30 hours a week of TV, probably more than that in the summer. Of course this probably won't change until the current generation of video-game addicts, who will undoubtedly have less nostalgia for their own electronic childhoods, have kids of their own. Of course, I could be wrong...

Please note: "Arab" and "Muslim" are NOT interchangable terms. For example, there are significant numbers of Christian Arabs and South-Asian Muslims

Did someone say it was?

Top Cat -- ummm, errr, oops. My bad. This is why I was an English major, not a history major. How about "in a really really really long time"?

"Top Cat -- ummm, errr, oops. My bad. This is why I was an English major, not a history major. How about "in a really really really long time"?"

That reminds me of my sister, I was in gifted History and Poliical science and she kept getting the nazis and communists mixed up, to my eternal frustration.

Fred, the fact that you don't have grandkids yet is probably a sign that you did a good job with your kids, emotionally settled ones usually take their time. I thank you on your children's behalf for not asking for them!
Fed worker, wait till you have kids, I know it's trite, but you will see your crazy parents in a whole new light. They will seem like crazy superheroes, rather than just plain crazy. Congrats on your soon-to-be niece or nephew.

"I think he was just trying to stress what many people have forgotten."

Sometimes we forget the real meaning and power behind words and phrases [like 9/11, genocide, and holocaust] -- at times it's useful to speak plainly when we refer to them. Kudos to Matt."

While I'll agree with you that at times it's useful to speak plainly, we need to choose the right words. Words like "Arab terrorists" are the type that contribute to fear and ignorance....and what you get are incidents like what happened after 9/11 when a Sikh was killed...or the war in Iraq.

pATRICK

"That reminds me of my sister, I was in gifted History and Poliical science and she kept getting the nazis and communists mixed up, to my eternal frustration"

I'd rather know your mixed up sister than an arrogant jerk like you who doesn't know how to spell Political, however gifted you claim to be. I've yet to see any evidence on this blog.

I have to ask - does anyone bother to stay on-topic here? The blog post was interesting, but it seems like 75% of the responses have nothing to do with it.

Ever watch the dog whisperer? Ignore and/or redirect, works with people too...

rumicat: I meant crazy for having the six and saying the would have had more if they thought they would have been able to afford it.

And thank you. My sister is having a girl, who will most assuredly be spoiled, and get my dad wrapped around her little finger by the time she's 6 months.

I know a man who today continually refers to Germans -- all Germans -- as Nazis. That is highly insulting to me since half of my ancestry is German and those ancestors came to America in the early 1800's. That's comparable to saying all Americans belong to the Ku Klux Klan.

Thanks rumicat - my sister is having a little girl.

Some of the people on this blog need to give the dog whisperer a good 30-minutes of their time (National Geographic channel, Friday night I think). When bad behavior occurs the thing to do is ignore and redirect, rather than feeding into the nonsense. Works on people too.
Now what about that sanity-balance thing. Anybody got anything to say about that while I'm waiting for the plumber to show up.

Not sure why it posted twice, but there you go.

ratgirlny,

No.

"MEESH, we all think so but how do we really know? That is my big problem with growing old, if you become insane or out of it with alzheimer's do you really know you are slipping?"

pATRICK, from my own experience dealing with a relative that had Alzheimer's, at the onset of the disease, she did know that her mind was slipping. And that was sad.

rumicat

"When bad behavior occurs the thing to do is ignore and redirect, rather than feeding into the nonsense."

You've just disregarded your own advice!

Good luck on the afternoon sex with the plumber thing!

"I know a man who today continually refers to Germans -- all Germans -- as Nazis. That is highly insulting to me since half of my ancestry is German and those ancestors came to America in the early 1800's"

Tell the guy! Not me!

I was going to write about Zelda today (I still think I will rename Frieda to Zelda) but someone brought up the War of 1812. So without further nonsense

The Cultural Tidbit of the Day
(Historical Division)

The last battle of the War of 1812 was the Battle of New Orleans. This battle (Jan 1815) was fought after the Treaty of Ghent (Dec 1814) was signed ending the war. They just did not have the internet back then. The battle was fought on the Chalmette Plantation located about 5 miles from Bourbon Street.

A gasoline refinery stands on some of the grounds today and Katrina flooded this whole area.

rumicat

Does your name have any connections with felines?

ratgirlny

Do I want to know what's up with your name?

atb:

Have you tried to increase YOUR water consumption? I was never a great producer, but I did see an increase in my milk production when I increased the amount of water I drank each day. This is especially important now that we're heading into summer weather.

pATRICK:

My sympathies regarding your Father. The last years of my Father's life were spent battling alzheimer's and parkinson's. I recommend the book "Final Gifts" by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley. "Final Gifts" was a tremendous resource for me. The book discusses how older folks approaching their final journey tend to start thinking in pictures instead of in discreet thoughts, and that this is why they have so much trouble communicating verbally. After I read this book, I was able to have short, but meaningful, conversations with my Father more often than not. Our visits the last year or so ended up being very positive interactions instead of both of us frustrated and in tears.

top cat. I have three cats, but no time for them anymore, also have a few dogs, which you probably inferred from my previous post. I adopted one of my cats and was reading a book of poetry by Rumi on 9/11, so something good happened that day as well. I like to remember that. I think remembering the good stuff is what makes us strong.

Hey Top Cat,

I hear that you have a substantial amount of adiposity between your ears!

Well, time again to post some links to some interesting blogs that track the spread of terrorism and terrorist links to rampant PC intolerance.

http://gatesofvienna.blogspot.com/

http://www.vigilantfreedom.org/910blog/

www.worldnetdaily.com

Alabama Preacher..........

"Someone in this Congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.
Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and
this Christian Family."
No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?
Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory.
Now stand and confess your transgression." Again all was quiet.
Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew.
Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding.
I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared!

"...In 1814 we took a little trip..."

Thanks for the breastmilk advice, all! I think the major hurdle is that I'm pumping during the day, and it's just not as efficient as the baby. I've tried 3 pumps, and the one I now use is the LC's favorite and really does work the best. The funugreek works surprisingly well, but you have to take so much that you end up smelling like cheap maple syrup and sweating profusely. (Breast ducts are modified sweat glands. Can that be the Scientific TOTD?) I probably don't get enough sleep or enough to eat, but I do try. I'm actually waiting on a call from the LC now. I didn't realize how attached I'd be to breastfeeding. I'm EXTREMELY relieved that DD will take formula, but it just doesn't sit well with me to give it to her.

atb, no one cares but you. really.

ratgirlny

Are you still around?

I have almost always felt off balance ever since my son was born, even though friends have complimented me on how I seem to be able to keep things "balanced". What IS balance? I think the definition is unique to each person. I try to create balance in my life each day by asking myself...

If I were to suddenly end up on my deathbed with my mind intact, would whatever I'm stewing about show up as a regret in my life if I did/didn't do it? If the answer is yes, then I pursue the matter. If the answer is no, I really try to just let it go. Most times I'm successful, sometimes I'm not.

along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip

"Right now, I feel like my whole life consists of disappointing people, including myself."

Aint that the truth. ratgirlny, you described my sentiments to a t.

I found this:

His prename, Francis Scott Key, was given to him to honor his distant ancestor who wrote the National Anthem. Fitzgerald's father, Edward Fitzgerald, was from Maryland

I know his wife died in Maryland after him, maybe they simply wanted their bodies to be together? So they buried him within the state? Was there simply not enough money, or a fear that there wouldn't be enough money to eventually bury them together, out of Maryland?

Posted by: | June 1, 2007 12:42 PM

Hey, don't be ugly!

to Kudzu, if I recall correctly, it was a family plot, i.e. already paid for and all the relatives were buried there. Their daughter later agreed with a non-profit org to reinter the bodies in their current graves.

ratgirlny

One poster named Legal Eagle posted what seems to happen on this blog everyday. Look at about the 11th entry.

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/onbalance/2007/04/emergency_childcare.html

Fred

ignore and redirect.

ignore and redirect.

ignore and redirect.

to 12:43- Can you hear me sobbing at my desk because you hurt my widdle feelings? Let me be the first to tell you how seriously lame your trolling is. Why do people who aren't clever even try to troll? I'm all for a good burn. Just because your mom told you were smart and funny doesn't make it so.

May, I feel less balanced since having a child, but also more optimistic. I realized I have to be to keep it together, plus I want to set that example for my daughter. Somebody said something about that Nun's longevity study. I haven't read the book but I know that the optimistic nuns lived longer. I don't know how to integrate that way of thinking into the deathbed priority setting, which is undoubtedly useful. Can you still be optimistic and still spend time thinking about your deathbed from time to time?

Now that you guys have started it, how does the rest of that 1814 song go?

I thought it was exercise, discipline then affection (Dog Whisperer).

Atb:

Have you tried the avent hand pump? I know it's not electric, but it works REALLY WELL. As well or better than some of the electric ones (they actually also came out with an electric one, but I don't know anything about that one since it came out as my second was being weaned).

Really - read the reviews on amazon/babies r us website. It's great and may help. I bought a used one on ebay for a good price.

"I thought it was exercise, discipline then affection (Dog Whisperer)."

KLB you're right! I love that show! I love the South Park episode where he was one of the characters.

KLB SS MD

"I thought it was exercise, discipline then affection"

Followed by Purity Ball, Virginity Pledge.

Working dad:
Thanks for your post. I have told him about my concerns, and he tells me I don't have anything to worry about. When I'm feeling more sane, I'm pretty confident I got it right with #2, but I know I'm going to worry anyway.
Besides, I might cry all summer, but I won't cry when I'm dropping him off.

*That is my big problem with growing old, if you become insane or out of it with alzheimer's do you really know you are slipping?*
I hope not!
Seriously, my grandmother went through it, and my mother is going through it (Mom started very young, with a series of seizures/mini-strokes). I don't think my grandmother ever realized her faculties were slipping, but my mother DOES know, and I know it scares her to death. It scares me too...

Ninotchka,
Actaully spending your money on yourself...
Fred,
Food in the fridge, things where you left them...

Wow, it DOES sound like the good life!

Thanks for the feed-back on FSF. I didn't know we were related until a cousin did a genealogy study about 10-15 years ago. We do share a common relative with a lot of Maryland history. No family stories or gossip to tell since none of us ever met him or Zelda, and most of it has been written about anyway. Their daughter, Scotty, used to write for the WaPo.

Can't have affection before Purity Ball :-)

I know many people in the NY area who agree with the position below regarding the events of September 11. I refer to it as September 11th when speaking, though I may have made the slip myself. I was struck by the prevalence of "9/11" as I read through this morning's comments. I'm reminded to be more conscious of terminology going forward.

From the website respecttheday.com

Mission Statement:

We are a group of Americans who believe it is inappropriate for politicians, the news media, and our friends and family members to refer to the events of September 11, 2001 as "9-11" or "9-1-1." We believe that abbreviating the date is disrespectful to those who lost their lives and trivializes the magnitude of the events of the day.

How do you refer to today? Do you say "6/1" or "June 1"?

We don't refer to Christmas as "12-25," Valentine's Day as "2-14" or Pearl Harbor Day as "12-7." Have we become so lazy, so busy, or so used to shorthand that we cannot take the time to say September 11? Why would we shorten and simplify a date so powerful in American history as September 11?

Certainly we understand that "9-11" became popular shorthand for the day because our national emergency phone number is 911. Although it may be convenient, and catchy, now is the time to give the event, the victims and everything associated with September 11 the gravity it so deeply deserves.

We respectfully ask that the media, the politicians, every American and the world Respect The Day of September 11, 2001 and refer to it with the dignity and respect that comes not from shortening or abbreviating it, but by saying "September 11."

rumicat:

I don't dwell on the idea of my deathbed every waking moment. I just do that when I'm stewing about something and I'm trying to make up my mind as to whether or not that something is worth pursuing. So, for me, I think this actually helps me to be more optimistic in the long run because I end up spending a lot less of my time and energy spinning my wheels over what someone else might think/say about me. To be honest, the term "dwell" doesn't really apply to me any more. I've used this "tool" for so long now that I just stop and think, "regret or not?", I decide and then I usually just move on. For example, I know I'm NOT going to think on my deathbed, "Shoot, I really regret not throwing a full-blown 1st birthday party for my son with a moonbounce, a clown, and everything else my neighbors did for theirs..."

atb, no one cares but you. really.

I care atb and I had the same problem.

educmom

When I entered the "real" empty nester phase - last kid moves out of house on permanent basis- and I knew I would probably spend the rest of my life living alone - I went through a weird kind of almost teenage phase.

Everything was all about me. All the money was for me, all the time was for me, all the rooms in the house were for me, etc. Me, me, me. It felt very strange to be #1 on the list after 36 years.

Mona asked: "OT to catlady: any idea why, upon moving, my two cats would completely switch personalities? I moved yesterday, and the small, sweet, meek one is now hissing at the former b*tch-cat, who is burrowing under a blanket and appears frightened. Little cat has even taken to "guarding" the food bowls and my bed (previously b*tch-cat domain), and b*tch-cat is afraid to approach."

We've never moved since getting our original cat, so I have no first-hand experience. Advice books re what to do about cat-sitting if one is going to be away agree that cats tend to do better if allowed to stay in their home with a cat-sitter coming in to take care of them than if they're packed off to a kennel (which evidently many dogs don't mind). Then again, at one extreme, I've occasionally encountered folks at airports with their cats in tiny underseat-sized cat-carriers, who contend that their cats are so emotionally adaptable that they'd rather go away with their people than stay home (though I doubt mine would).

And Scarry wrote: "Before I forget. offtopic to catlady. I think it was you who was watching the black donnellys. If so, you can watch the rest of the season online. If not, then sorry because I can't remember who was watching it. :)"

Your memory is excellent! Will check it out -- thanks for thinking of me -- you brightened my day :-)

May, thanks for the repsonse. I'll have to try the "regret or no regret thing". Who remembers what happened on their first birthday anyway?
Of course now the question, will I regret on my deathbed not hearing the rest of that 1814 song...
Question, how do exercise, affection, and discipline apply to this blog?

"atb, no one cares but you. really.

I care atb and I had the same problem"

And I don't care. Now, are we all going to post our opinion on whether or not we care?

How's this for balance, or sanity? Hamas Kindergarten Graduation in Israel. "What is your path?" "Jihad!"

"What is your most lofty aspiration? Death for the sake of Allah."

I bet they get participation awards too...

http://the-american-israeli-patriot.blogspot.com/2007/06/kindergarten-graduation-gaza-style.html

http://www.jihadwatch.org/archives/016713.php
comments at this site are great!

scarry

"I care atb and I had the same problem"

Of course you do. You have something to say on every subject under the sun! It is truly amazing!

I think it's safe to say that claiming "no one" cares was wrong.

Nona, etc- Believe me, I couldn't care less about you, either. Sweet, huh?

So does eveybody else Adolf. I was just being nice which is more than I can say for other people on this blog. If you don't like a post just skip it, you don't have to be rude.

Ninotchka: mom went thru that too - after the separation with dad. It was all about her. I was fine with it, as I was in college (and eventually moved in with her). But it was definitely different/strange to see her like that when my whole life it had been, for her, about everyone else.

pATRICK asked: "That is my big problem with growing old, if you become insane or out of it with alzheimer's do you really know you are slipping?"

Oh my yes, pATRICK, people with Alzheimer's can be aware of their slippage for quite a long time. They get very frustrated at not being able to recall words, or to remember to do things correctly as they once did (and took for granted). Sometimes they'll lash out at others merely from their own frustration. It's simply heart-breaking all around.

atb,

a little snippy, are we? i never said I don't care about you - I don't even know you. I don't care about the subject. I've seen more than I ever care to about BF on this blog.

Fred, One of the interesting details the docent mentioned during our tour of the Chalmette Battlefield was that the sugar cane fields were cut so that their sharp points pointed toward the direction from which the British were coming, so they suffered brutal razor-like cuts while traversing the fields. I like to think of it as better warfare through Agriculture ;-)

'We don't refer to Christmas as "12-25," Valentine's Day as "2-14" or Pearl Harbor Day as "12-7."

'We respectfully ask that the media, the politicians, every American and the world Respect The Day of September 11, 2001 and refer to it with the dignity and respect that comes not from shortening or abbreviating it, but by saying "September 11."'

Posted by: Marian | June 1, 2007 01:09 PM

I refer to Pearl Harbor Day as "Pearl Harbor Day," so that no one will forget. And I refer to the events of September 11, 2001, not as "9/11" or "9-1-1" or as "September 11," but as "the Arab terrorist massacres" -- also, so no one will forget. I intend to evince respect for the terrorists' victims, and contempt for the terrorists and for the feelings of anyone who might sympathize with the terrorists.

'We all go on our merry way, unwilling to think that more attacks like this are being planned daily.

'They want to kill us and no one wants to believe it.'

Posted by: atlmom | June 1, 2007 09:26 AM

Thanks, atlmom! I believe it, and I won't forget. We'll remind Americans to fight against the name of terror, till the last white line is passed.

"The Battle of New Orleans," by Johnny Horton

In 1814 we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip.
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans.

[Chorus:]
We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin.
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin' on
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

We looked down the river and we see'd the British come.
And there must have been a hundred of'em beatin' on the drum.
They stepped so high and they made the bugles ring.
We stood by our cotton bales and didn't say a thing.

[Chorus]

Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise
If we didn't fire our muskets 'til we looked 'em in the eye
We held our fire 'til we see'd their faces well.
Then we opened up with squirrel guns and really gave 'em ... well

[Chorus]

Yeah, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go.
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down.
So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round.
We filled his head with cannon balls, and powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind.

[Chorus]

Yeah, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go.
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

Actually, I was wondering if everyone was now going to chime in with their opinion since scarry chose to reply rather than ignore the original comment. That happens quite a bit on this blog. someone relates a personal experience, then, instead of discussing the blog topic, many other posters just relate their own personal experience. Or, an unpopular comment is made and then there is extensive time agreeing/disagreeing rather than staying on topic. Going off topic is fine too. But the back and forth over stupid remarks is just a waste of time.

Oh my yes, pATRICK, people with Alzheimer's can be aware of their slippage for quite a long time. They get very frustrated at not being able to recall words, or to remember to do things correctly as they once did (and took for granted). Sometimes they'll lash out at others merely from their own frustration. It's simply heart-breaking all around.

Watch for the angry mask to become a permanent fixture. Very few Alzheimer's patients become more pleasant.

We had neighbours who both ended up developing Alzheimer's. Mrs. had it first, and her personality got more and more and more angry & combative. After she was diagnosed and it became apparent she needed 24/7/365 care, she went to an Alzheimer's ward. Mr. visited her daily; meanwhile he was starting down the same path. It was very sad. She died first, by that time he was barely able to function but refusing to leave his home. He attacked his daughter when she visited a few times, finally she was able to get him into a nursing home.

Now might be an excellent time to ask many questions regarding the family lore.

Good luck, it's not easy on anyone.

catlady

"sugar cane fields were cut so that their sharp points pointed toward the direction from which the British were coming, so they suffered brutal razor-like cuts while traversing the fields. "

Ouch!!

. . . we took a little bacon and we took a little beans
and we fought the bloody British in the town of New Orleans.

Yes, the rude poster always tries to turn it around on the person they attacked. It's this blogs way of life. Nona perhaps if you don't want to read about breast feeding, maybe you should find another blog or just skip the posts you find offensive. Replying to scarry who was just trying to defend atb is a little low.

Ah, the irony...

To ratgirlny:

I also sometimes feel like I am failing to live up to expectations at work and home as well- such as when I need to rush out of work on time to pick up my son, and there is still work to be done and co-workers have to fill in for me; or I have a sick kid who needs me and I am at work..many times I feel like I really need to be in more than one place at a time.

But I try not to beat myself up and try to feel good that I am actually managing to maintain some kind of balance and that I have my priorities straight. I strive for the moderation that was mentioned earlier. I know there has to be some give and take on all fronts and determining what is really important to me. For example, I made a decision to change jobs to lessen my long commute and be closer to home. I am hoping this eases some of the pressure I feel.

All in all, I feel good that I am taking care of my family and can also enjoy working. Its not easy and some days I just want to hide, but I know I just have to keep going and remember the good things I have in life.

atb = all time b*****.

Look, scarry said she cared, and I said I didn't. What's low about that?

Sorry nona,

I like ATB and just wanted to let her know that she was cared about and that she wasn't alone with her problem. I usually try to ignore rude posts, but sometimes I give in when I find them particularly distasteful. I don't know why it annoyed you so much because we are always off topic anyway

Yes, the rude poster always tries to turn it around on the person they attacked. It's this blogs way of life. Nona perhaps if you don't want to read about breast feeding, maybe you should find another blog or just skip the posts