Singled Out

In response to On Balance's Single Purpose? entry, writer and Ph.D. holder Bella DePaulo sent me her hilarious, superbly researched diatribe in favor of living well single, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After.

Go Bella! She is living "happily ever after" in the fabulously-named Summerland, Calif., which I dream of as a new singles paradise in stark contrast to my endless rounds of laundry, wet bathing suits found 10 hours later on now-wet carpets and restless nights searching for a bed where neither my kids nor my husband will find me.

Bella is onto something big. As all of you single and/or childless posters have let us know in absolutely uncertain terms, the work/balance movement is heavily biased towards heterosexual married families with children. In homage to and mockery of The Feminine Mystique and Perfect Madness, her first chapter is titled "Singlism: The 21st Century Problem That Has No Name."

Subsequent chapters attack the top ten myths of singlehood:

Myth #1 Marrieds Know Best

Myth #2 You Are Interested in Just One Thing -- Getting Coupled

Myth #3 You Are Miserable and Lonely and Your Life Is Tragic

Myth #4 You Are Self-Centered and Immature and Your Time Isn't Worth Anything Since You Have Nothing To Do But Play

Myth #5 Attention, Single Women: Your Work Won't Love You Back and Your Eggs Will Dry Up. Also, You Don't Get Any And You're Promiscuous

Myth #6 Attention, Single Men: You Are Horny, Slovenly, and Irresponsible, And You Are the Scary Criminals. Or, You Are Sexy, Fastidious, Frivolous, and Gay

Myth #7 Attention, Single Parents: Your Kids Are Doomed

Myth #8 Too Bad You're Incomplete. You Don't Have Anyone and You Don't Have A Life

Myth #9 You Will Grow Old Alone and You Will Die in a Room by Yourself Where No One Will Find You For Weeks

Myth #10 Let's Give All the Perks, Benefits, Gifts, and Cash to Couples and Call It Family Values

Bella ends with "The Way We Could Be," a chapter on a utopian society in which we all acknowledge and accept the reality that more than 40 percent of our nation's adults are divorced, widowed or purposefully single.

Why should all of us blissfully marrieds care? Because, face it, we're probably going to be single again at some point -- one way or another.

Unite, singles!

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  July 9, 2007; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  The Single Life
Previous: Fourth of July Tales | Next: Teenagers, Romance and Balance

Name:

Comments: