The Boys are Alright

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

Former Postie David Von Drehle has the cover story in this week's Time, writing about the "Myth About Boys." It's well worth the read, even at 4,000+ words, for the way in which it cuts through all of the breathless warnings about how boys today are a bunch of video game-obsessed, super-medicated, borderline illiterate thugs-in-waiting.

As it turns out, the stats suggest that Von Drehle's generation was far more screwed up (and that I came of age during a golden age of teen delinquency).

But what was really interesting, from a balance point of view, was Von Drehle's attempt to explain why boys might be doing marginally better:

Maybe our boys are doing better because we're paying them more attention. We're providing for them better; the proportion of children living in poverty is down roughly 2% from a spike in 1993. And we're giving them more time. Parents--both fathers and mothers--are reordering their priorities to focus on caring for their kids. Several studies confirm this. Sociologists at the University of Michigan have tracked a sharp increase in the amount of time men spend with their children since the 1970s. Another long-range survey, reported by University of Maryland researchers, has asked parents since the 1960s to keep detailed diaries of their daily activities. In 1965 child-focused care occupied about 13 hours per week, the vast majority of it done by moms. By 1985 that had dropped to 11 hours per week as moms entered the workforce. The 2005 study found parents spending 20 hours a week focused on their kids--by far the highest number in the history of the survey. Both moms and dads had dramatically shifted their energies toward their kids.

It's worth noting that this increase in time spent with the kids hasn't come at the expense of hours in the paid workforce. This isn't an at-home parent versus go-to-work parent thing.

Von Drehle notes that you can certainly go too far when it comes to parenting, but his fundamental contention that more time equals better outcomes raises all kind of interesting possibilities for the future. I've always hoped that the boys of today -- who have probably seen more of their fathers than any post-industrial generation -- will grow up with more progressive notions of gender roles and play an even greater role in their families. Indeed, Gen Y seems to be headed that way.

Von Drehle suggests we have plenty of reasons to be optimistic about the next generation of boys. And if they turn out to be the most involved generation of fathers to boot, we'll have even more reason to celebrate.

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

By Brian Reid |  August 2, 2007; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  Dads , Raising Great Kids
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