Newsmagazines Discover Dads!

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

Time and Newsweek have both discovered fathers this month. To be more specific, they have discovered that 21st century fathers may have some traits make them different from the pops of past generations: They're diaper-changing guys who aren't afraid to sit down to a tea party with a doll and a couple of stuffed rabbits.

Time's take was the more comprehensive of the two and nails all of the biological research and demographic stats that confirms the trend, though the story would have been far better if they gave up on their obsession with the pointless question of whether being a dad means being less of a man.

But even after reading through the stories, no one they really defined what the "new father" really looks like.

That omission of the standards for fatherhood in 2007 left me a little cold about the recent mini-boom in stories about the new father (which have cropped up everywhere from Donald Trump's blog to Details magazine, which also used the "Fatherhood 2.0" tag). The lack of a good definition was brought into crisp focus by a sidebar to the Newsweek's first-person dad story. That piece, "The 'New Dad'? Give Me a Break," is a study in contradictions.

The author announces that her husband doesn't shop, doesn't cook, doesn't do drop-offs, doesn't do speech-therapy appointments and leaves her to juggle "most things kid-related." Then she notes that he is "definitely a modern, 'hands-on' dad," who is "more dedicated than any father I know."

While that piece lays out some family dynamics that surely contribute to the uneven parenting roles, it makes abundantly clear the there's no good standard for "good father." Changing more diapers than our dads did doesn't constitute a revolution. At the very least, dads should be having a significant and positive effect on everyone in the family. Particularly in a dual-earner family, if mom is juggling almost all things kid-related, you shouldn't be able to claim the 'modern dad' mantle.

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

By Brian Reid |  October 11, 2007; 7:30 AM ET  | Category:  Dads
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