Playroom Pitfalls

It's a mundane aspect of parenting that few parents-to-be deem important enough to discuss in advance: what kind of playroom to have in your home? Saturday's Washington Post explored different options in Room to Romp. Now that the days of fenced-in "playpens" have largely disappeared, many parents find their homes deluged with kids' toys and the question quickly becomes: Do we want a playroom, or do we let the entire house become the playroom?

Part of my "balance" is that I never wanted our home to be overtaken by kids' paraphernalia , no matter how brightly colored or well-designed. During 10 years of motherhood spanning two apartments and two townhouses, I've found myriad solutions that worked at the time: keeping toys out of sight in storage boxes and coffee table drawers, limiting toys to the kids' rooms, and giving each child a large cubby in our kitchen. At one point, sick of cleaning up and nagging young children, I turned a large room in the basement over to my three kids. The results were frightening -- toys, puzzle pieces, poster board, crayons and construction paper everywhere. But having one room I never stressed over saved my sanity while the kids were young. (In case you're wondering about rodents and bugs amidst the clutter, my strict no-food-outside-the-kitchen prevented a visit from DC Health and Human Services).

Here are some key issues to consider:

Safety. Especially when kids are young, the playroom needs to be in sight of a parent or caregiver at all times to prevent choking, falling or other toy-related accidents.

Space. Often there isn't enough room to designate "playspace exclusive." Creative solutions include having kids share a bedroom and turning a second bedroom into a shared playroom, or using a den or home office as a daytime play space with toys kept in a large plastic bin.

Guilt, Nagging and Judgment. It may seem ridiculous to adults without children, but lots of parents, unfortunately especially moms, feel like bad moms if we have a messy house. And we feel just as guilty about yelling at our kids to clean up their junk. Don't judge yourself or others about having a less-than-perfect home, particularly when children are too young to clean up for themselves. You can't keep a spotless home, be there for your kids and get enough sleep all in the same lifetime. Pick your priorities, and then be at peace with 'em.

Family Balance. Some families, especially those with kids spread out in age, feel the need to "contain" toys to a smaller space so everyone's not living in LegoLand. Others might embrace toys everywhere. Determine which kind of family balance you need.

Kids' Responsibilities. Over time, keeping play space relatively neat is a good way to teach children responsibility and respect for other family members.

As with most of parenting, playroom policies fall on a wide spectrum. I know one mom with twins who used a playpen until her children were nearly three. She also went through the children's toys every month and gave most away to charity. Her house is really clean, I've got to admit. I see parents on the other end of the scale who live happily in houses nearly as messy as my children's basement playroom. (My line in the sand is no bath toys strewn in the bathtub -- I always needed at least one small sanctuary from kid clutter.) I've seen a lot of creative ideas, especially for families living in apartments, such as turning an old fireplace or closet into a small play space.

Like children, playrooms morph over time. Everyone finds a solution that works for their family. What have you done? Do you have any creative solutions to balance your home between your kids' stuff and yours?

By Leslie Morgan Steiner |  January 9, 2008; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  Conflicts
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