The Money Date
By Rebeldad Brian Reid
Economically, things are looking bad. The Post has put the unraveling of the stock markets on the front page nearly every day this week, George Bush is huddling with congressional leaders on a stimulus package, and the Federal Reserve just made the biggest one-day cut in short-term interest rates since "I Just Called to Say I Love You" was the number one song in America.
So it's probably a good time to start talking about finances. Or -- since you probably don't want to take any financial advice from me -- it's time to start talking about talking about finances. After all, money is the number two reason for divorce, and it's not hard to imagine why: it's easy for the embarrassment of financial troubles to lead to a breakdown in communications, which sets a whole relationship into a downward spiral.
I was speaking to a colleague of mine over the weekend, and introduced me to the idea of the "money date." The concept is straightforward: one of them cooks a nice dinner, the other runs to the computer to download the most recent bank statements and budget. Then, over a relaxed dinner and a bottle of wine, they go line-by-line through the past month and the month to come.
It's not old-fashioned romance, but my colleague credits the "money date" as a part of the reason her relationship has been as smooth as it is, surviving school, numerous moves and job changes. She claims the honesty keeps bigger problems from emerging, but money is still a white-knuckle subject for me. The advent of online banking means that there's complete transparency in our family's financial life, but every month, there are at least a few purchases that I regret. I'm sure having all that out in the open is best for the marriage, but it ain't always fun.
While I am enamored by my coworker's linguini-and-merlot approach to family finance, I'm curious how the rest of you make sure that you and your partner are on the same page?
Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.
By Brian Reid |
January 24, 2008; 7:00 AM ET
| Category:
Conflicts
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