The Playdate Paradox

By Rebeldad Brian Reid

Ahhh, January. It's that wonderful time of year when, freed of holiday obligations, everyone is returning to the usual social patterns. For the kids, that means that return of playdates. For me, that means the return of sweaty palms from thinking about playdates.

I'm sure you know the problem: There is a certain assumption about reciprocity when you schedule a playdate. No one wants to be that parent that can never be bothered to allow other children in their home. But as someone working full-time for pay, my ability to host kids after school is a bit more limited than I would like it to be. I certainly don't want to say no when my daughter is invited over elsewhere, but I do feel a bit of trepidation about figuring out how to return the favor.

Clearly, I'm not without options:

• The weekend playdate is always a possibility, though Saturday and Sunday tend to be action packed with high-quality family time and various other obligations.
• We've finally hit the age where sleepovers can work, too, though we're still at the age where losing a couple of hours of sleep has some not-so-pleasant consequences in the days that follow.
• And there's the weeknight over-for-dinner gambit, but that makes the 5 to 7 p.m. chaos that much greater (even with the support of the kind people from Monterey's Pizza).

I'm curious about your experiences. For starters, what's the etiquette around where you live? Is there an expectation that an afternoon hosting the kid from down the block gets you an unspoken IOU? Is there a timeline for following up? And how do those of you with more restrictive schedules live up to those expectations -- is there a perfect playdate strategy that I'm missing?

Brian Reid writes about parenting and work-family balance. You can read his blog at rebeldad.com.

By Brian Reid |  January 10, 2008; 7:00 AM ET  | Category:  Childcare , Conflicts , Free-for-All
Previous: Playroom Pitfalls | Next: Can You Teach Work/Life Balance?

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