Patti LaBelle Is Unintelligible (Even When She Isn't)

Are you psyched for NBC's "Clash of the Choirs"?! What's that? You'd rather drive spikes in your eyes than watch the sure-to-be-hokey reality show that pits five choirs, led by luminaries such as Michael Bolton and Nick Lachey, against each other in the ultimate holiday musical cage match, or something along those lines? Can't say we blame you. In order to drum up some interest for the show (debuting tonight on NBC!) there was a conference call last week featuring Bolton, Patti LaBelle and producer Jason Raff. Who cares, right? You care. Because Ms. LaBelle was in rare form. Below are some of her highlights from the call. All are taken out of context, but really, how much context do you need?

Patti LaBelle: I didn't understand the question.

Patti LaBelle: (Unintelligible).

Patti LaBelle: What did she say?

Patti LaBelle: (Unintelligible).

Patti LaBelle: Pardon me?

Patti LaBelle: Did someone say something?

Patti LaBelle: Oh my gosh, can you hear me?

Patti LaBelle: Okay. My problem was I'm in a store buying lamps. I'm in a lamp store and everybody is talking so I messed up. I didn't hear - Michael, did you hear the question?

Patti LaBelle: Let me go in the - can I use your bathroom, Miss? I'm going in here. Oh, somebody's in there. Oh gosh. Go ahead, Michael. You do it.

Patti LaBelle: (Unintelligible).

Patti LaBelle: Okay, Michael. Some - see I left the store and I'm inside her car (unintelligible). And now something happened to the cell phone. I don't know what happened.

Patti LaBelle: Yeah, I tell them to scream like a white woman (unintelligible) act like that black boy is getting ready to take your pocketbook.

Patti LaBelle: If for any reason I get cut off, you know how to answer my questions because we're like (unintelligible). I mean, just in case because you know where I am.

Patti LaBelle: (Unintelligible).

Patti LaBelle: I think (unintelligible)...

Patti LaBelle: You know what? I have two lampshades in the trunk. So yes, I did find (unintelligible)...

By David Malitz |  December 17, 2007; 8:30 AM ET Flackery , Ridiculousness
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