Who You Callin' a Fathead?
Whatever happened to Fathead? Can't say I've seen Big Ben or Torry Holt or crazy Chad Johnson or anybody else shilling for them these days. Of course, the product stunk - even as a little kid with no taste, before I rounded into the salmon-colored tie-wearing metrosexual headbanger that I am now, I could not see myself clamoring for a massive sticker of, say, Chuck Muncie's head to put on my wall. But man, a year ago you could not escape those ads on ESPN. I kind of dug them for their overt cheesiness. Anyone know if they just folded? Have I just missed them this season?
(Brief quasi-related aside: Back in the day, how tight were those Sports Illustrated posters everyone had? Remember with the white border and just the dude's name at the bottom?)
Thinking about weak sports products/commercials got my mind churning about Bill Parcells's "Backyard Football Drills" ads that are in heavy rotation on The Ocho lately. Had to ask The Tuna if he was catching any grief from his players about them during the conference call, but he wasn't in the mood to joke around (guess T.O., kickergate, and the Tony Romo/Bledsoe QB feud can get to a guy).
All Bill could muster in defense of himself was: "They were done several years ago and just went into production this year. I don't know why." Not sure if was trying to imply that production values on TV commercials as a whole were down in 2004 or something - like this was part of some prevalent trend - but I let it go nonetheless.
By Jason La Canfora |
September 14, 2006; 12:00 PM ET
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Posted by: Doug | September 14, 2006 12:25 PM
You think Parcells is nuts? How about Herm Edwards (and Carl Peterson), who are taking shots at none other than Al Saunders this week. See below from ProFootballtalk.com:
"A league source tells us that the reputation of Chiefs coach Herman Edwards is taking some hits in response to his recent comments that, in the opinion of some league insiders, constitute an implicit slap at former K.C. coach Dick Vermeil.
Deflecting the suggestion that he's too conservative, Edwards on Tuesday placed blame for the team's low scoring output in the season opening loss to Cincinnati on the offense that was in place prior to his arrival.
"If the people went to watch the Kansas City Chiefs play, that's the same offense they've watched for the last five years -- shifts, motions," Edwards said. "Maybe I should change, because if we're only going to score 10 points and we'll get the quarterback killed, then maybe I should change the offense."
Edwards' comments remind us of the fatherly advice offered up by Homer Simpson after he'd possibly consumed the venom of a poison blowfish. According to Homer, three simple statements are all you need to get by at work: (1) "Cover for me"; (2) "Good idea, boss!"; and (3) "It was like that when I got here."
So it's not the fault of Edwards or his coaching staff in teaching the offense or of the players assembled by King Carl Peterson in executing it. The problem, Edwards suggests, is the offense itself.
It was like that when I got here.
Hey, if the Chiefs really wanted continuity on offense, they should have given the job to offensive coordinator Al Saunders. Then again, King Carl was quick to point out on Tuesday that Saunders didn't fare much better in Week One: "[Edwards] hasn't [changed the offense]," Peterson said. "We're running our offense, the Kansas City Chiefs offense that has been run the last five years, OK? The Kansas City offense didn't score many points in Washington, D.C. [on Monday night] either, did it?"
The point here is that the offense that was put in place by Dick Vermeil and Al Saunders is an effective attack, if the team has compiled the right players to run it, the right coaches to teach it, and the right offensive coordinator to pick the plays that will be used against a given defense -- and to call the right plays at the right time (e.g., something other than a run into the middle of the line on third-and-five from the opponents' 11.
Posted by: Tom Johnson | September 14, 2006 12:33 PM
Those Fathead commercials were all over MNF this past week. Seemed like every commercial break had one...
Posted by: Gibs | September 14, 2006 12:50 PM
Fathead must be growing. In addition to NFL their now showing NBA, NASCAR, and NCAA. I didn't think that it was a particularly bad product. I wouldn't want one, but if my 12 year old wants one in his room, I wouldn't care. Whatever.
Posted by: John in Bluemont | September 14, 2006 12:53 PM
As a person with a 7 3/4 hat size, I take offense to Fatheads not letting me in on the profits from their product. I have been around as a Fathead far far longer than this product, and was conceptualized nine months prior to my actual production, twenty some odd years ago. I think I'm entitled to some compensation here.
That being said, the Backyard Drills commercials are awful. Though I have wondered if demoralizing and emotionally breaking down your child is one of the lessons on that DVD. Maybe he can cast Antonio Bryant as a drill subject for that lesson.
Or maybe that's just a natural talent.
Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | September 14, 2006 1:22 PM
Could you imagine waking up as a child and having a life size LT (old school LT on cocaine) staring you down from across the room? God, I'd be afraid to get up to take a piss at night. Maybe Danny boy could put a Fat Head of Sean Taylor in the visiting team's locker room before the games. Apparently, there's already a Fat Head of him in the ref's dressing room.
Posted by: Dorf | September 14, 2006 1:53 PM
Those Tuna commercials still aren't even as close to being as funny and/or bad as the old Fredy McGriff/Tom Lemanski baseball tapes.
Posted by: Chief Clancy Wiggum | September 14, 2006 2:21 PM
My favorite SI-style poster from back in the day was "The Posse" with Monk, Clark, and Sanders.
I had a Marino one as well...how many Super Bowls would Marino and Gibbs have won if Miami had passed on Marino at #27 back in '83? The 'Skins got Darrell Green (the "Greatest Redskin of All-Time", according to the Post), so it's not like we got a schlub. But still...the possiblities would have been interesting...
Posted by: P Diddy | September 14, 2006 8:50 PM
I've been seeing the fathead commercials a lot lately, looks like they're baaaaack.
Posted by: CY | September 15, 2006 8:56 PM
Those SI posters were so great. I pooled money from all my 4th grade friends and we bought about a dozen of them to save on shipping.
Posted by: RH | September 18, 2006 12:14 AM
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I understand why you found Parcells so funny. He's a joke.