Double double post post move move

I'm gonna go get da papers, get the papers.

Today is McNabb's press conference, right? I heard he's going to address the media for the first time since his injury. Should be interesting.

Keep the Sabol stuff coming. You're right, this guy is golden. So what if he's an ass.

A career working in NFL Films, basically having an all-access pass to the entire modern era of the NFL, that's the stuff of legend. Lucky jerk.

So... are we going to have to deal with double posts on a regular basis from now on? It throws off my rhythm when I scan the 'recent posts' list. But I'll manage.

What if there's a parallel universe in which we're all posting on the FIRST of the double threads, instead of the second? Man, that is heavy.

Can't resist sharing the pain on this one... on the flight east the other day I was subjected to a cinebingus extraordinaire, a piece of garbage called "The Guardian."

Let me just say two words: Kevin Costner. Let me just say another couple of words: Ashton Kutcher.

Absolutely awful from start to finish. Maverick Coast Guard lifesaving legend has a breakdown and gets sent to train new recruits. Hotshot recruit challenges him and breaks all his records but has a dark secret of his own. They eventually find themselves together in a difficult situation which tests their mettle, and [spoiler alert!] they both rise to the occasion.

Stop me if you've seen this before. Oh right, you have, in about fifty different movies, none of them worse than this hackneyed drivel. Terrible script, wasted supporting cast, indifferent directing, lame visual effects... it was so bad I couldn't avert my eyes. This one should be on TNT every night for the next decade.

Anyway...

Heavy? Weight has nothing to do with it...

false alarm... I pulled a double move on the school filter. There was nothing it could do. Dorf is now celebrating in the endzone.

Cue Steve Spurrier lip flapping slo-mo.

Back to work!

Nice work, El Dorfo! Welcome back to the regularly scheduled daytime programming.

Here's a link to yesterday's Chicago Tribune column which features the marketing-team-planted 'story' about Urlacher's regimen, which J-La noted with such disdain a few posts back. (Hope this doesn't require registration to read)

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/cs-070129mitchell,1,1836401.column?coll=chi-sportscolumnist-hed

With all the news-ish material to sift through this week, especially for slavering Bears fans, how would any journalist pass this non-story along as 'word on the street'? Laaaaaaame.

Nate, Urlacher story sounds like what Stephen Colbert refers to as "truthiness."

Exactly, the whole Vitamin Water thing.

So bizarre to be up here reading about Jason getting that stupid marketing mail -- his point basically being that he would never consider that press-worthy -- and then to see it show up as a nugget in a real newspaper. Oh well.

There are, of course, some significant differences in the everyday reality of the parallel existence:

1) Jack Kent Cooke is alive and well, skillfully managing his communications and sports empire while procreating with his eighth wife, Britney Spears;

2) The Washington Red Lancers are preparing for their annual exhibition against the NFL All-Stars. (The Super Bowl was permanently cancelled in 2002, after the team formerly known as the Redskins had won for the tenth consecutive time under the direction of Joe "The Master" Gibbs.)

3) In other football news, Vinny Cerrato has recently been named as "Chief Scout - Asia" for the Detroit Lions, so that he can coordinate the team's efforts to find their next great quarterback prospect in the South Asian Cricket League.

4) Daniel Snyder has been named "National Salesperson of the Year" by Yellow Pages, Inc. for the eighth consecutive year.

5) Famed Washington Post columnist and raconteur Jason LaCanfora once again hosted the very exclusive Red Lancer Regalia at his penthouse suite in the Fountainebleu. The red carpet event was broadcast live around the world by TV Azteca.

6) Cindy Boren, highly-regarded sports editor for the Washington Post, has been recently named as "Blog Insider of the Year" by the International Internet Foundation. Ms Boren was cited for her extraodinary efforts in blog journalism, including her recent success in signing the Dalai Lama as a weekly "Red Lancer Insider" Guest Blogger.

1) Jack Kent Cooke is alive and well, skillfully managing his communications and sports empire while procreating with his eighth wife, Britney Spears

LMAO, CK you know that is just wrong!

Nice Anecdote.

Sorry about being late to the comment board. I was basking in the glow of my "Daily Ines."

Damn she's hot.

Once agin J LA C has proven his worth in gold.

Clark Kent, BRILLIANT.

Nate, does Mrs. Nate know that your 'business trip' to the East was just so you could be online during peak blogging hours?

wow. The threads keep coming and coming...Diddy get out the Veuve Clicquot...the red carpet era of the insider is upon us.

Clark, you forgot to mention that Tupac, Biggie and Big Punisher join forces to buy the New Orleans Saints, renaming the team the Big Easy Ballerz and appointing John Candy as the GM. Jean-Benet Ramsey is on the Jr. Cheerleading squad.

Great job CK. Must also mention that President Gore continues to usher in a new wave of peace and prosperity for the entire planet while a little known ranch in Crawford, Texas succumbs to 7 years of wildfires and locusts induced by global warming caused droughts.

Muscle damage caused during vaginal childbirth is associated with a serious gynecological condition called pelvic organ prolapse later in life, U.S. researchers report.

Pelvic organ prolapse -- a fallen bladder, uterus, vagina or lower bowel -- causes more than 200,000 American women each year to undergo corrective surgery.

Researchers at the University of Michigan Health System also found that particularly high rates of pelvic organ prolapse were associated with the use of forceps during vaginal delivery.

The findings are published in the February issue of the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology.

...while a little known ranch in Crawford, Texas succumbs to 7 years of wildfires and locusts induced by global warming caused droughts.

Posted by: skinswest | January 31, 2007 12:37 PM

LMAO! Sign me up for that parallel existence

"Pelvic organ prolapse"

So my Enzyte wasn't to blame after all.

I know a guy who did a lot of legal work for inmates and the prolapsed lower bowel apparently was a common by-product of the extra curricular activity that takes place behind prison walls.

OK,OK

Isn't John Candy dead?

*hugs*

OK,OK

Oops - Dorf - I get it *blushing*

Hey Jason,
Great blog, keep things coming.
In terms of Steve Sabol, the guy may get a bad rap, but about three years ago I wrote a letter asking if they had film on my father during his playing days with the Redskins. I got a return call immediately from someone saying, "Steve says to get you whatever it is you want". I was amazed and touched. His comments was "Steve always says that without the players, we wouldn't have jobs"

Just a little tidbit of information and wanted to show that the guy isn't all bad.

He's NOT dead SallieMae. I've even heard rumors that the rapping tri-fecta is considering moving the Big Easy Ballerz to Havana, Cuba and naming Fidel Castro head coach.

Did you see him in his warm-up suit haning out with Chavez? Man looked like he just got off the elliptical machine. That's where he's been these past few months.

I'm gay and just got back from doing lunch with a new guy (first date and all) but really, dude? I like you...well maybe a little too much, but that is okay because no one really knows that, now do they? My attraction for you is beside the point. You have a great personality set off by the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen.

but ...

I couldn't figure out why you were giving me these "looks". Be still my beating heart! Was it the "LOOK" I have been waiting for? Yes I know I became flustered and, hell, I even stammered a few times...but god those eyes were looking at me! We finished up our conversation, I punched out and made a quick pit stop at the bathroom. While washing my hands...tragedy hit ... it wasn't just a regular chunk of dried up mucus hanging on a stray nose hair. It was an enormous, phlegmy looking hunk of booger clinging to the side of my nostril. In shock I just stood and stared into the mirror and that is when I noticed movement from my nasal area. Hell yes movement! It wasn't only an epic booger, it was a booger that MOVED! It was actually moving in time to my breathing. Breathe in - booger quivered IN. Breathe out - booger dripped its slimey head back OUT and now, since my imagination had gone wild...waved.

Difficult to follow the anonymous gay lunch post with this, but I'm forging ahead... the nickname "Red Lancers" is really growing on me. I'm going to try to remember to use it hereafter both up here (uphereafter?) on the blog and in conversations. Damn, the Lancers are looking good!

My travel day yesterday screwed up my blog attention and I missed some great stuff. So as usual I'm overcompensating for that with plenty of babble today. And yes, it's weird being on the east coast with most of y'all instead of being on the late shift.

John Belushi, John Candy and Chris Farley are dead, but Dom DeLuise and Louie Anderson continue to walk the earth?

God bless those untalented, un-funny fat dudes for making it this long, but where's the freakin' justice in that?

OK,OK

Dorf - welp, I stand corrected. I thought I heard he passed away, like, 5 years or so ago.

Doesn't he own a sports franchise in Canada?

and *hugs* sweetie for responding and clearing things up.

*hugs*

OK,OK

nate - well, now I'm more confused. I'll search Google after posting this and find out myself.

*hugs*

Sabol rules. I like the dude a lot. Seemed like good people to me.

and John Candy did indeed join the choir eternal...

Poor SallieMae... Nate in the (east Coast) speaks the truth.

OK,OK
Not confused anymore.

Here are the facts:

Real Name: John Franklin Candy
Date of birth: October 31, 1950
Location of birth: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Date of death: March 4, 1994
Location of death: Durango, Mexico
Spouse: Rosemary Margaret Hobor

My favorite John Candy movie - Uncle Buck.

In my parrallel universe, Al Gore would still not have been president. He is floating down love Canal, surfing his internet, and noticing how warm it's getting. That disaster at the Crawford ranch still happens though.

Danny, unfortunately, doesn't have the sales or people skills to be top sales person at Mcdonald's, much less yellow book. Let's make him Mellwood's Employee of the Month.

Sorry SallieMae... he did die, i think right after the movie Canadian Bacon came out. Since you discovered your fat man factoidal error, I decided to beat a dead horse and continue on in my farse. Sorry to confuse you, i was having fun.

Actually, Candy died DURING the filming of Head East. Never saw the movie but I think they used earlier filming to finish off the movie.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles. So good!

Those aren't pillows!!!!!!