this is worse than waterboarding:)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

aggh... that's like taunting!

aaaahhhhh!

That is so unfair...

LA BRUJITA!!!!!!!!!!

This doesn't even count as a teaser... better be good...

My guess: We signed Veron.

Buffon to D.C.??

Replay ordered for the Chicago series??

maybe villareal is letting riquelme come to dc on a free transfer, and roman is going to donate his salary to help build the stadium!

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being a foreign signing, which it is not)...

this is a 7.

ZZZZzzzz...I'm betting Emilio as MVP

so it's an MLS signing? a trade?

a foreign non-signing?

how about a foreign re-signing?

Bye Bye Jaime? Retirement?

Kevin Payne quit? (I would rate that a 9 or 10 though)

Tom Sohen fired, Arena back as coach?

so... no stadium news, soehn not fired, not a shirt sponsor... hmmmm????

Okay, so no Brujita...perhaps contract- (or no-contract-) related info re: Moreno and/or Gomito...

...ain't speculation grand? ;-)

Veron in black and red?

must be gustavo mascardi's room service bill...

So I was wrong. My new guess: we signed VerIZon

Olsen's TiVo program?

They resigned Judah Cooks?

whoops didnt read all the comments.

prolly a sponsor

Kenny Arena to coach RBNY?

This is so evidently a pathetic ruse to get me to click on that Mattress Warehouse ad to the right. :)

The suspense is killing me!!!

They finally struck that big money deal for Boswell?

Boswell to Marseille.

Goff's year-end bonus is predicated on blog hits and the tally stops today at 3:30 so wanted to get a few more clicks in.

Stadium Deal ?

In an effort to replace Moreno, DC United is offering me a contract? 'Bout time.

Boswell saved 15% on his car insurance by switching to GEICO?

Wait, that can't be it, he already posted that on his MySpace, personal website , and an ad space he purchased on the op-ed page of the Post.

In a "Back to Basics" move, they re-signed best hair styles of the past. They would have to include Mario Gori, El Diablo, David Vaudril, Kpene (but only if he grows that rediculus doo from earlier in the year), who am I missing?

--------
This Just In.....
Important D.C. United news coming soon......

Don't turn off that computer!

Be back in a bit.....
---------

......... 30 minutes is a rather large "bit."

Hahahaha, gotcha.

By Steve Goff | November 5, 2007; 3:46 PM ET D.C. United

-------
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being a foreign signing, which it is not)...

this is a 7.
-------

why would a "foreign signing" be the best option on a scale? could not it also be a 1 -- if it turns out like Denilson at FCD did?

Altidore traded to United for Kpene, Moreno, and a player to be named later?

Jimmy Eat World canceling half time show for MLS cup??

Talon the mascot assaulted by G-Wiz??

TELL US GOFF!!

C@cktease.

Gonna wear out my F5 key...

Hey, that counts as a hit, doesn't it. Rocko got it right.

The entire league is going back to the 1996 kits!?

Arrrlington United

Citing instability in the local newspaper business, Steven Goff has signed a short-term contract with the Dubai Tribune. Details were not disclosed, but under the terms of his contract, it is expected that he will be able to retire comfortably and afford to send Insider Jr. to a private university. The Washington Post did not comment on whether he was offered a Designated Reporter position (aka the Kornheiser Rule).

c'mon Goff......what is it?

Arena to LA
Capello to NYRB

You guys finally got a stdium deal done???

- The News : La Brujita Veron to DCU
- Stadium news : Poplar point stadium..ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
:-)

Boswell, B. Carroll and Gomez all traded for Donovan and Vagenas.

Landon Donovan to DCUnited for color commentator Tom Rongen.

Quique Sanchez Flores to LA or RBNY

Bruce Arena hired as new DC United coach :P

"Landon Donovan to DCUnited for color commentator Tom Rongen."

To quote Mr. Rongen, "yes, no, absolutely, Dave"

David Beckham traded for the entire DCU squad?

Tom Soehn is out and Arena is In

Isn't guessing at the news always more fun that actually reading it?

I will NOT support a DCU team with the current Arena at the helm. Do NOT bring BA to DC United.

Come on Goff, to hell with journalistic integrity and fact-checking, it's just us Insiders here, let us know now and worry about accuracy later.

Goff to be captain of media side in the annual DCU vs Media foosball battle.

ignorance:

You're right. These comments are hilarious and entertaining. Keep up the great stuff fellow insiders.

Arrrgh, Goff, don't DO this to us!!

:-P

M.C. (Montgomery County) United!

Maryland United!

My guess is they found a date and time to reschedule the season ticket holder's Meet the Team Day since they now have time to do this.

let us know now and worry about accuracy later.
__________

I thought that was only for news regarding Iraq.
:o

Shirt sponsor

Ashburn United?

Landon Donovan goes to DC...

Tampax announced as new jersey sponsor...

Shirt sponsor

Posted by: Eric | November 5, 2007 04:00 PM

The Washington Post! More specifically: Soccer Insider!

Mayor Fenty is facing a recall?

Meet the Team Day is Thursday night - I really hope that isn't what Goff is referring to - I am thinking shirt sponsor

(Scratches groin area)

Forget the boring 1996 kits. Bring back the sailor suits with the red-and-white striped sleeves.

Is Goff trying to make a Tantalus of us all?

Hey, MM, you were more explicit on BigSoccer.com

... foot tapping....

I just got the email - equipment sale this Thursday as part of the belated meet the team day...a letdown for most of us...

this is the journalistic equivalent of a tease on the evening news. "Dc United had a huge game tonight ... we'll have that and more in sports after the break." Now sit thru two minutes and two seconds of commercials -- chumps!

Why is the Soccer Insider behaving like he wants to be punched in the face?

Breaking news: man walks on moon.

MLS PAY PER VIEW Superfight

Eric Wynalda
vs
Ben Olsen

STEEL CAGE

I got benny 72 to 1

you are killing me Goff

... foot tapping....

Posted by: DuPont Mike | November 5, 2007 04:06 PM

Dude, watch out or you'll be in the poke with the Senator from Idaho...

Goff has just signed on to takeover Kornholio's spot on PTI next to Wilbon! With Freddy and Bruce gone Kornholio has nothing to bash soccer with.

furiayanqui has it right, better yet it's when the news has the weather guy on in the first 5 minutes to tell you what the weather was today (like you don't already know) and to stay tuned to find out about the forecast for the rest of the week.

Goff is too slow -- he's been scooped by Ives! All the important info is over there on his blog: Reyna and Arena no longer luv each other.

Already 72 comments for a post that says nothing . . .

So that's how this is the second most popular blog, Mr. Goff.

DC United was acquired by an energy drink sponsor and are changing their name?

its gotta be about moreno and gomez to quatar!

Why is the Soccer Insider behaving like he wants to be punched in the face?

Posted by: question | November 5, 2007 04:08 PM

Shouldn't the writer of the Soccer Insider be the Soccer Insider-er?

No wait - United is going to play in the Nationals stadium next year?

Like the saying goes, things happen in 3's

Yallop out of LA
Arena out of NYRB
Soehn out of DC

or has Clavijo been canned in CO....which would save Tommy boy from this saying

How much would it suck for Goff to realize right now that his scoop was actually wrong and he has nothing to say?

It's OK, we will still love you. Just a little less.

Dear God,

Please GIVE Carlos Pavon to DCU. Thank you and Amen!

Love Always, LAG fans

This blog is cracking me up! Hilarious...keep it up, guys! :-)

Equipment Sale...

Kpene jerseys: 95% off
Addlery warmups: 90% off
Moreno jerseys: 50% off
Gomez jerseys: 75% off (comes w/ free Qatar map)
Gros headgear: 2-for-1

One coaches' stadiumjacket, sleeves heavily chewed: $20

Back line lawn chairs: 4-for-$50 (must by all four).

18 MLS Champion Tshirts, brand new: $15

Kevin Payne fired and to be replaced by Alexi Lalas.

Discovery Communications is the shirt sponsor.

Give us something or I swear I'll start posting five year old links on here!

Goff "gave us something" nearly an hour ago (i.e., before the last several dozen posts in this thread). Check his next entry.

Guy Franzen writes "Give us something or I swear I'll start posting five year old links on here!"

--

Uh, he already "gave" it to us, in a separate thread that came after this one.

Hawaii United! What does this have to do with DC? They will play a friendly next week!

Unfortunately, I read through the Gros thread before I got here. I'm just going to go put my head in the sand, 'cause I like the "news" here a lot better! :-(

The big news is that Gros is retiring? Damn...we all knew that was going to happen anyway.

did I miss the party, was the big news announced?

was the news announced, what is it?