Metro's track record
I strode about on Friday weeping and rending my long flowing burlap garments, allowing racy glimpses of my Gandhi-style loincloth, when I should have been engaged in a proper Friday rant. Well, live and learn. Allow me then to catch up a bit today.
First, it is as though the world is DELIBERATELY trying to confound me in even my SIMPLEST of opinions. How long ago was it that I said it was a bit self-indulgent for victorious tennis players to fall to the ground in celebration of their awesome game? I don't remember exactly, but not long ago. (YOU can search for the blog post, I'm busy here). Anyway, no sooner than those words flow from my fingertips than FATE arranges for two guys to be locked in an unprecedented three-day 1,000,000 game tennis match. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I'm all the while thinking to myself that when it ends, the winner is GOING TO FALL DOWN, and will there be a person on the earth who blames him? No! They will BLAME ME for being churlish in advance in trying to take away his glory. But I will say I did approve of his variant. He fell backwards, rolled all the way up into a shoulder stand, then immediately got back up and was gracious about the whole thing.
But oh, then there's the Supreme Court. They ruled Thursday (perfect timing for a FRIDAY rant, perhaps?) to LIMIT anti-fraud law. Apparently TOO MANY corporate executives, such as the ENRON CHIEFTAINS(!), have been persecuted too MUCH! It seems that prosecution for self-dealing and conflict-of-interest is just more than an executive should have to worry about! OKAY THEN! And CEO's everywhere are dropping their tennis rackets and falling down in exultation. --Tom Toles
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