The Things You See in Ashburn
I thought I'd seen it all when Sonny J. was tooling around again on his Segway, but that's nothing. I have seen the future of human transportation, and it's scary, man. Imagine MTV needed even more inane programming than it already has, and added "Pimp My Golf Cart."
Someone had a tricked out a small vehicle at Redskins Park this week like nothing I have seen before. It had a meticulous, shiny paint job, all burgundy and gold with Redskins logos all over it. One of the security guys was riding it, and it must've had something special under the hood, because he was getting some unusual speed with it. The wheels were done up. It had a huge backseat. It had a full license plate (Virginia tags, I believe).
Basically, it was made to look like one of the old-school stations wagons, a Woody, with the ornate paneling on the side. It was like some demented Redskins fan got nostalgic for those old Jimmy'Z t-shirts from the early 80s (no trip to Ocean City was complete without on, eh?), and took it all a little too far.
I haven't gotten around to asking whose it was or what the heck it was doing there. Maybe they'll use it to drive The Danny from the tunnel underneath FedEx Field to the sidelines before games or something, like one of those old helmet carts they used to stash in bullpens at the ballparks (Speaking of which, whatdya think one of those relief-pitcher carriers would fetch on Ebay?) Maybe this stuff happens at other NFL team headquarters as well, but I've learned to brace for anything once I turn up the Loudon Country Parkway.
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