The Things You See in Ashburn


I thought I'd seen it all when Sonny J. was tooling around again on his Segway, but that's nothing. I have seen the future of human transportation, and it's scary, man. Imagine MTV needed even more inane programming than it already has, and added "Pimp My Golf Cart."

Someone had a tricked out a small vehicle at Redskins Park this week like nothing I have seen before. It had a meticulous, shiny paint job, all burgundy and gold with Redskins logos all over it. One of the security guys was riding it, and it must've had something special under the hood, because he was getting some unusual speed with it. The wheels were done up. It had a huge backseat. It had a full license plate (Virginia tags, I believe).

Basically, it was made to look like one of the old-school stations wagons, a Woody, with the ornate paneling on the side. It was like some demented Redskins fan got nostalgic for those old Jimmy'Z t-shirts from the early 80s (no trip to Ocean City was complete without on, eh?), and took it all a little too far.

I haven't gotten around to asking whose it was or what the heck it was doing there. Maybe they'll use it to drive The Danny from the tunnel underneath FedEx Field to the sidelines before games or something, like one of those old helmet carts they used to stash in bullpens at the ballparks (Speaking of which, whatdya think one of those relief-pitcher carriers would fetch on Ebay?) Maybe this stuff happens at other NFL team headquarters as well, but I've learned to brace for anything once I turn up the Loudon Country Parkway.

By Jason La Canfora |  August 24, 2006; 1:00 PM ET
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That's nothing. Anyone else remember Deion Sanders golf cart he had when he was with the Cowgirls? He would ride it to and from the field during practice/training camp. It had air conditioning, cd player, radio, tv, and was totally "tricked" out. Good 'ole Deion.

Posted by: Chief Clancy Wiggum | August 24, 2006 01:35 PM

How long before M. Grammatica turns up the Loudoun County Parkway? Sonny on a Segway? Was the stogie lit?

Posted by: gj | August 24, 2006 02:23 PM

I was wondering about Grammatica as well. If he does show up, I hope they give him a goofy helmet like he had in Tampa.

We need an eccentric kicker. Like that Edinger dude with the funny stance. We need a kicker that becomes a legend unto himself, solely on the basis of his off-field behavior and on-field quirks. Preferably a kicker who is barefoot on BOTH feet. We need a kicker that makes the papers every morning and helps me cut through the morning monotony of Nestle Quick, Cocoa Puffs, and Vegemite.

Jason, I trust you're gathering up all these trade and player suggestions and presenting them to St. Joe every evening.

The Fans Hath Spoken.

Posted by: P Diddy | August 24, 2006 02:40 PM

Maybe the Redskin mascot can use this vehicle to run over the opposing team's quarterback. That's the only way this Redskin team is going to beat anybody. GO COWBOYS!

Posted by: Ttlsccr | August 24, 2006 02:51 PM

No kickers here today. Been making calls on Gramatica today. Seems like damaged goods at this point, though.

Posted by: Jason La Canfora | August 24, 2006 02:56 PM

Hey "Ttlsccr" are you bored with all the T.O. conversation that you have to read a daily Redskins Blog

Posted by: tdogjuwan | August 24, 2006 06:25 PM

Learn how to spell "Loudoun."

Posted by: Curt | August 24, 2006 07:11 PM

KAKA-

That vehicle sounds like UNA's "luv-machine" We all know how much he supports the"Redskins" logo(ha)!

TGIF and safe trip to NE...

Posted by: Pinkie @ the beach... | August 25, 2006 12:28 AM

Hey T-dog, the only TO you need to be worried about is TURN OVER!

Posted by: Ttlsccr | August 25, 2006 01:16 PM

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