How about the whole Andrew Speaker/XDR-TB debacle? Talk about a destination wedding gone bad...

All I would say about destination weddings is that if you insist on doing it, keep your guest list small, ask a lot of questions, and get stuff in writing. Because event planning is hard enough when you are local to your vendors - as the above story relates, it gets exponentially more difficult when you are at a huge distance.

And special bonus points if you pay for airfare and lodging for your bridal party. Super-special bonus points and a place in heaven for doing the same for all your guests - talk about incentives for keeping the list small!

I sometimes wonder if the bride and groom think about the guest cost for attending the wedding - I attended back-to back desintation weddings (overseas)...They were both wonderful experiences, but $6,000 in debt later, I wonder if it was the right move.

If anyone out there is planning a wedding overseas, please consider having an informal reception at home, for those folks who can't make it - it could be either before or after the actual wedding/trip. It's hard enough making ends meet on a day to day basis - many people simply can't afford to "splurge" for your big day!

I understand where you're coming from, but on the other hand I spent approximately $1K each for seven out of town weddings last summer. I would have much rather splurged on a couple of true vacations than paying for airfare/car rental/hotel/food/etc for weekend wedding trips to Alabama and Minnesota.

I wish my friends would give me better places to visit!

Should always plan for contingencies for a destination wedding like rain and maybe the destruction or partial destruction of the property as a result of a hurricane or other weather related event.

Destination weddings are extremely selfish and for the couples ego. Dropping a couple thousand or more to attend your wedding is not my idea of a vacation. Would rather spend the weekend at a herding trial than in some overpriced resort. If I am going to Jamaica man I will call and book my usual accomdations at Goldeneyefor the week not some god awful resort like Beaches or Sandals. And I dont want your wedding interfering with my lady and my beach time and quest for the best jerk chicken adventures. And your wedding better nit interfer with her shopping time.

A true destination wedding takes place at the local 7-11. Big bites, nachos and something for the microwave on the bride's family and a spiked slurpee. Life is good.

And since you didnt invite the dogs the chances of you getting a really nice wedding gift like an All Clad set are slim to none. They are better behaved than most children if not all.

It's absolutely acceptable to regretfully decline an invitation to a destination wedding (or any wedding, for that matter), folks - ask Miss Manners!

I can see a second marriage, maybe, with just a best man & matron of honor as witnesses, but to drag your entire family on your honeymoon - now that is selfish. Of course, the bride & groom frequently get their trip free if they twist enough arms depending on the resort.

What is with all the guests b!tching about how weddings interfere with their plans, cost too much to attend or are selfishly planned around the couple's needs? Weddings are the one time in a couple's life where it is socially-acceptable for them to be selfish. Why? Because it is planned and paid for by them! You want to talk expensive? Think about how much the couple is shelling out for food, liquor and entertainment for each guest. If you resent the inposition of travel, gift-giving and attendance, please decline the invitation. Nobody will miss you. Please people, be a little gracious and recognize that you are being honored when you receive an invitation; not inconvenienced.

Wow, there are some bitter people on this blog! I had a destination wedding, and as far as I can tell, everyone loved the fact that THEY got a vacation out of it! Fact is, more than half our guests were going to have to fly to our wedding where ever it was, so at least they ended up in the Bahamas instead of Crystal City. Having been to more than 2 dozen weddings, it's pretty easy to drop over $1000 (for me & husband) on airfare, hotel, rental car, wedding party uniform, etc. I'd much rather spend a few hundred more and feel like I got something out of it, too! (That said, I think the couples who do their weddings at an all-inclusive are a bit tacky. In that case, guests are basically footing the bill for a wedding.)

Wow, there are some bitter people on this blog! I had a destination wedding, and as far as I can tell, everyone loved the fact that THEY got a vacation out of it! Fact is, more than half our guests were going to have to fly to our wedding where ever it was, so at least they ended up in the Bahamas instead of Crystal City. Having been to more than 2 dozen weddings, it's pretty easy to drop over $1000 (for me & husband) on airfare, hotel, rental car, wedding party uniform, etc. I'd much rather spend a few hundred more and feel like I got something out of it, too! (That said, I think the couples who do their weddings at an all-inclusive are a bit tacky. In that case, guests are basically footing the bill for a wedding.)

You want a destination wedding? Come to my place and let Elvis marry you!

No in a lot of cases mom and dad foot the bill still. Sorry WDC your guests probably didnt want to upset you on your day and they are still paying for being there for you.
Just think of the nice down payment you would have instead of a destination wedding or big wedding. The Bahammas please. Where Atlantis? Or some other tacky resort or hotel. There are a few decent places in the Bahammas see islandoutpost.com etc.

Destination weddings.

With family coming from all over the world and heaps of extended family, the destination wedding offered us the perfect way to ensure neutral territory and to limit the number of family that attend out of obligation!!!

I don't think that we are selfish, nor are we asking you to shell out a huge amount of money. The point is you have a choice, so use it. If you don't have the spare funds, don't come. Would you prefer us not to invite you, and then have our relationship damaged because you thought we didn't think you were important enough to invite???

And as for the tacky comment targetted at the "all inclusive resort". The first thing invitees asked us, was whether we were able to negotiate group rates or package deals which included flights and food. They were thrilled to have it on offer...and they certainly didn't foot the bill for the wedding....instead we negotiated to have the discounts we would have received distributed to the guests in terms of greater savings on their rooms and food costs. Because, do you really want to spend your time on a tropical island adding up the cost of your buffet breakfast and afternoon sandwich....or be hit with a huge bill on departure from the holiday you hadn't really budgeted for?

Perhaps you should spare a moment to think about the significant amount of time and effort we put in to ensuring that our guests were provided with every amenity we could imagine and that the effort involved for them was minimised to one phone call to a travel agent, regardless of what country they were flying from.

Also, the announcement of our destination wedding was met with glee from our friends in family, of which a great majority actually booked additional holiday times to surrounding islands and countries as part of their trip.

In my view it was an all around win, that allowed us to spend significantly more time with the attendees then we would have had at an afternoon wedding and evening reception on a Saturday afternoon in wintery Philly.

To Destination Bride

Actually, I think you've hit upon one of the few times I think the destination wedding makes sense: when you have multiple countries involved in the guest list. Because half the family - if they want to come - have to invest in heavy travel anyway. Why not make it worth their while?

A friend of mine married a man with family scattered across Europe. Her family (at least the family she would invite to the wedding) were scattered up and down the Mid-Atlantic Eastern Seaboard.

Since funds were tight for them, they planned a fall wedding in the Appalachain mountains that timed to two things:

1) peak fall foliage (which the European crowd had never seen) and
2) the time of year when the European crowd usually took their extended holidays.

So the stateside folks had a easy to reach destination, and the Europeans were within an easy drive of Dulles (aka an international airport), and could then hop easily to other parts of the US for their holiday period. Everyone was happy, and everyone had to travel (including the bride and groom).

I think what people don't like about some destination weddings is that the bride and groom *don't* think about their guests' comfort (as you have). It's about they want their perfect sunset wedding on the beach and they don't care whether or not their guests are miserable.

Most all inclusive resorts in the islands are like the Venetian in Vegas. Both give someone's view of what they think Venice or Jamaica should be. It isnt real and Sandals in Jamaica or whatever resor in the Bahammas is not not Jamaica or the islands. Just like the Venetian isnt Venice. Man you got to get away from the tourist crap to appreciate the islands. Go have a Red Stripe and some jerk chicken at a roadside stand overlooking the ocean.